Anonymous
Post 02/19/2016 08:02     Subject: Married man going to lunch with single female inappropriate?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a male friend whom I have lunch with on a regular basis. Have been doing so for years. His wife doesn't know. He says that she's nuts and he's waiting for his last child (senior now) to graduate and he's leaving. No, he's not after me. Yes, I'm married and my DH knows about my friend. I love talking to him because I learn everything NOT to do to aan if you don't want to drive him away.

I'm quite positive he will be dating women a good 10yrs younger than him one he's free. Good for him. You crazy jealous women are awful and everyone is aware you are horrible partnets, except you.


You're a young twit. The fact he would be degrading his wife and marriage to a little nitwit from work already speaks volumes about this loser. A decent person doesn't say bad things about their spouse and certainly doesn't tell intimate details to some little ninny who is dumb enough to believe his self serving story. And certainly NOT to a co-worker.

I will bet he would easily cheat. Cheaters always lie and tell how awful their spouse is, jealous is the common one. He fits the pattern. I will bet he's never getting divorced unless she throws him out, lol.


We've been friends for 15 years. I'm older than him ad he needs to vent. Lots of people stick in miserable marriages until the kids leave. I don't work with him, but OK.

He has not had an affair to my knowledge, but he should.


You're a nitwit. He's chosen you as a lunch partner for that reason only - enjoy.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 22:50     Subject: Married man going to lunch with single female inappropriate?
OP - invite other people to your lunches so you're not going alone. Problem solved.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 16:12     Subject: Married man going to lunch with single female inappropriate?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a male friend whom I have lunch with on a regular basis. Have been doing so for years. His wife doesn't know. He says that she's nuts and he's waiting for his last child (senior now) to graduate and he's leaving. No, he's not after me. Yes, I'm married and my DH knows about my friend. I love talking to him because I learn everything NOT to do to aan if you don't want to drive him away.

I'm quite positive he will be dating women a good 10yrs younger than him one he's free. Good for him. You crazy jealous women are awful and everyone is aware you are horrible partnets, except you.


You're a young twit. The fact he would be degrading his wife and marriage to a little nitwit from work already speaks volumes about this loser. A decent person doesn't say bad things about their spouse and certainly doesn't tell intimate details to some little ninny who is dumb enough to believe his self serving story. And certainly NOT to a co-worker.

I will bet he would easily cheat. Cheaters always lie and tell how awful their spouse is, jealous is the common one. He fits the pattern. I will bet he's never getting divorced unless she throws him out, lol.


We've been friends for 15 years. I'm older than him ad he needs to vent. Lots of people stick in miserable marriages until the kids leave. I don't work with him, but OK.

He has not had an affair to my knowledge, but he should.



No he should divorce then date like anyone else. Stop dissing his wife and mother of his child. I was with someone who behind my back would say bad things about me, saying I was jealous etc. The reality was he was a back stabber, cheater, abuser who did the same with all his exe's. On the outside he seemed like the nicest guy, and would pull the same thing this guy is doing. He would make a point of having female friends I wasn't friends with or didn't know about. It seems the only thing you know about the wife is through him.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 16:04     Subject: Re:Married man going to lunch with single female inappropriate?
As the other posters suggested, bring it up with his wife to see how she feels. If she isn't comfortable or feels it inappropriate then he has his answer.
I would say lunch with other guys, or a group or your dw.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 15:19     Subject: Re:Married man going to lunch with single female inappropriate?
Anonymous wrote:There are lunches between men and women that are totally platonic. And there are lunches that are filled with sexual tension. I have been on both. It's not always easy to tell which ones turn towards the inappropriate. So there isn't anything wrong with it as a blanket rule, its more about the two people involved.


Whew. Thank you. 9 pages and finally, somebody who says it depends.

I can think of many men I think are attractive -- but I'm not attracted to at all. And I can think of other married who aren't nearly as attractive who I'd like to jump and a lunch alone ... not a good idea. In fact, I spent 5 minutes with one this week and partway through the conversation I couldn't look him in the eye because I realized how much I'd like to jump him ... I will not be spending any more time with him. I had to keep bringing up lame conversation topics to cool myself off. Like clogged drains. So very unsexy.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 15:16     Subject: Re:Married man going to lunch with single female inappropriate?
Anonymous wrote:I would say if you're married you don't go to lunch by yourself with someone single of the opposite sex. It also doesn't look good to other co-workers. Not worth any rumors starting.



You must be a cube drone. No way are you sitting in a corner office.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 15:15     Subject: Married man going to lunch with single female inappropriate?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a male friend whom I have lunch with on a regular basis. Have been doing so for years. His wife doesn't know. He says that she's nuts and he's waiting for his last child (senior now) to graduate and he's leaving. No, he's not after me. Yes, I'm married and my DH knows about my friend. I love talking to him because I learn everything NOT to do to aan if you don't want to drive him away.

I'm quite positive he will be dating women a good 10yrs younger than him one he's free. Good for him. You crazy jealous women are awful and everyone is aware you are horrible partnets, except you.


You're a young twit. The fact he would be degrading his wife and marriage to a little nitwit from work already speaks volumes about this loser. A decent person doesn't say bad things about their spouse and certainly doesn't tell intimate details to some little ninny who is dumb enough to believe his self serving story. And certainly NOT to a co-worker.

I will bet he would easily cheat. Cheaters always lie and tell how awful their spouse is, jealous is the common one. He fits the pattern. I will bet he's never getting divorced unless she throws him out, lol.


We've been friends for 15 years. I'm older than him ad he needs to vent. Lots of people stick in miserable marriages until the kids leave. I don't work with him, but OK.

He has not had an affair to my knowledge, but he should.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 15:15     Subject: Re:Married man going to lunch with single female inappropriate?
I would say if you're married you don't go to lunch by yourself with someone single of the opposite sex. It also doesn't look good to other co-workers. Not worth any rumors starting.

Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 15:06     Subject: Re:Married man going to lunch with single female inappropriate?
There are lunches between men and women that are totally platonic. And there are lunches that are filled with sexual tension. I have been on both. It's not always easy to tell which ones turn towards the inappropriate. So there isn't anything wrong with it as a blanket rule, its more about the two people involved.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 15:02     Subject: Married man going to lunch with single female inappropriate?
Anonymous wrote:I have a male friend whom I have lunch with on a regular basis. Have been doing so for years. His wife doesn't know. He says that she's nuts and he's waiting for his last child (senior now) to graduate and he's leaving. No, he's not after me. Yes, I'm married and my DH knows about my friend. I love talking to him because I learn everything NOT to do to aan if you don't want to drive him away.

I'm quite positive he will be dating women a good 10yrs younger than him one he's free. Good for him. You crazy jealous women are awful and everyone is aware you are horrible partnets, except you.


You're a young twit. The fact he would be degrading his wife and marriage to a little nitwit from work already speaks volumes about this loser. A decent person doesn't say bad things about their spouse and certainly doesn't tell intimate details to some little ninny who is dumb enough to believe his self serving story. And certainly NOT to a co-worker.

I will bet he would easily cheat. Cheaters always lie and tell how awful their spouse is, jealous is the common one. He fits the pattern. I will bet he's never getting divorced unless she throws him out, lol.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 14:55     Subject: Married man going to lunch with single female inappropriate?
Anonymous wrote:I have a male friend whom I have lunch with on a regular basis. Have been doing so for years. His wife doesn't know. He says that she's nuts and he's waiting for his last child (senior now) to graduate and he's leaving. No, he's not after me. Yes, I'm married and my DH knows about my friend. I love talking to him because I learn everything NOT to do to aan if you don't want to drive him away.

I'm quite positive he will be dating women a good 10yrs younger than him one he's free. Good for him. You crazy jealous women are awful and everyone is aware you are horrible partnets, except you.


You mean he tells you things according to him, lol. Sure you learn a lot...and I'll bet his wife knows just what a charmer he really is. Probably his poor kid too.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 14:37     Subject: Married man going to lunch with single female inappropriate?
Anonymous wrote:Having lunch with a single person of the opposite sex when you're married is fine.

BUT, having interactions with a person you're attracted to and purposefully hiding it from your spouse, or not mentioning it to your spouse when you would mention your interactions with a different person, is not fine.


+1, OP has not answered the question does his wife know.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 14:36     Subject: Married man going to lunch with single female inappropriate?
When I was single I frequently went out to lunch with a married male co-worker. His wife knew. And thank goodness she did because sometimes we would be out and we would run into her.

If everyone knows about it and is okay with lunch, it's okay.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 14:34     Subject: Married man going to lunch with single female inappropriate?
I have a male friend whom I have lunch with on a regular basis. Have been doing so for years. His wife doesn't know. He says that she's nuts and he's waiting for his last child (senior now) to graduate and he's leaving. No, he's not after me. Yes, I'm married and my DH knows about my friend. I love talking to him because I learn everything NOT to do to aan if you don't want to drive him away.

I'm quite positive he will be dating women a good 10yrs younger than him one he's free. Good for him. You crazy jealous women are awful and everyone is aware you are horrible partnets, except you.
Anonymous
Post 02/18/2016 14:32     Subject: Re:Married man going to lunch with single female inappropriate?
Anonymous wrote:OP. I guess most women would not go out to lunch with a married man alone multiple times unless they had romantic intentions.


Please. You are flattering yourself. She went to lunch with you 3-4 times a year. It's a work friendship and nothing more. It's fine.