I've thought this through as well, re., the babysitter. You can't truly "follow" her by getting a babysitter. If she's out the door at 7:00, you'll need to have the babysitter at like 7:15, to totally avoid any overlap.

Best case scenario, you're going to have to find a friend you trust to actually follow her. I'm presuming you don't know specifically where her bang-sessions, I mean "workouts" are taking place.

You'd have to open yourself up to your friend knowing about this. Saves you money in that a PI will charge you a bit. I can't imagine having four kids that age that you're swimming in discretionary income.

OP here.

We usually get a sitter for nights when I need to work late, so getting a sitter will not raise suspecion. While I try not to work late or schedule personal things on her off night, it does happen.

I did the warrior dash with a big group of friends. None of us trained and it wasn't exactly a competitive event. It was more like a "get really muddy and messy and then drink tons of beer" type of event. It was absolutely not worthy of weekly training sessions.

Another vote for the PI. I don't see how you are going to be able to follow her without her knowing. (Unless you day job is a secret agent.)
Also agree to maybe wait a bit, as your recent queries might have them on guard.

Anonymous wrote:My advice: follow your gut feeling, follow your wife.
I bed the instructor is giving her special training, after the others leave. This training involves his penis.

+1
It might have progressed to that level yet, but it soon will. She's probably grabbing drinks with the instructor after class. Personally, I am highly charged after a workout. Your wife is probably the same way.

OP: my advice is to let up a bit. Between the call to the instructor and your conversation with your DW, they are probably spooked and very suspicious. Give them a few weeks to get comfortable again and then monitor.

Also, how do you plan to hire a sitter for the evening? Your wife will surely find out. You might want to hire a private investigator or ask a trusted friend to follow her.

OP how do you expect to hire a babysitter and follow her? She'd find out you hired a babysitter. Also 'showing up' halfway through the class is wicked creepy / stalkery if it turns out she wasn't lying.
I say go with a PI

Anonymous wrote:Prostitution?

Hmm, with a hint of BDSM ... class takes 2 hours and then a 4-hour session with a client ...

OP, I'd hire a private investigator if your wife isn't coming clean. Something's up here.

Prostitution?

Anonymous wrote:My guesses

1. drugs

2. pole dancing classes, and she hasn't told you because she wants to surprise you.

(1) would involve her acting weird in other ways, and I'm not sure of what drugs would be used once a week.

(2) for six hours though? the class would be 1 hour max, and maybe 2 hours if with a private trainer (no credit card statements though?)

OP -- have you checked for strange ATM withdrawals as well? Is your wife burning through cash more quickly than before (e.g. someone that might last a month on $100 is suddenly starting to pull out $200 a week.) Yeah, I know we're all hip young millennials here but maybe OP/his wife still use cash.

Anonymous wrote:op, prior to this was she acting differently? my friend was attacked and didnt twll her husband because she knew he would become over protective and suffocate her. She secretly took self defense class. eventually she did tell him thoigh

OMG that would be so horrible. I'm catching up on Downton Abbey and just saw the episode with the attack, and wept at how she concealed it from her husband. Heartbreaking.

Anonymous wrote:The only thing that gave me pause is when you said "mostly women" were in the group.
Which means that there are some token mean who were drawn to an activity with lots of women. Sometimes men join female oriented activities to meet women.

Also, I have a wide group of female friends with children and there is no way, no how I can think of any of them who would be able to get away for 2-3 hours at night after an activity for a total of 6 hours just to hang out and talk. Drinks after work? Sure. Yoga class and a glass of wine? Sure.
Dinner? Sure. But 6 hours every week with kids and jobs to go to the next day? It seems like a long time and the fact that she is weird about it is, well, weird.

Why is everyone assuming she is not having sex with a woman after the training? Lots of married women have this fantasy. That is my guess.

My guesses

1. drugs

2. pole dancing classes, and she hasn't told you because she wants to surprise you.

Something is up, OP. Very odd.

Anonymous wrote:
Also, I have a wide group of female friends with children and there is no way, no how I can think of any of them who would be able to get away for 2-3 hours at night after an activity for a total of 6 hours just to hang out and talk. Drinks after work? Sure. Yoga class and a glass of wine? Sure.
Dinner? Sure. But 6 hours every week with kids and jobs to go to the next day? It seems like a long time and the fact that she is weird about it is, well, weird.

Wanted to highlight this comment as it is spot on IMO.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What, she's not out hunting bobcats?

This was my thought, too. Or shagging the bobcat.

I don't understand the bobcat reference.

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/462347.page (that isn't long)

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/462107.page (that is 28 pages)

And the one that started it all: http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/461803.page (120 pages)