Anonymous
10/13/2015 16:52
Subject: Re:I am scared I lost the love of my life.
Anonymous wrote:Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Let's all take a step back.
Most of us enter into marriage with the intention of having kids. Not all of us. But most of us. That is kind of how this whole show keeps moving on, ya know?!
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with OP having a moment of doubt about his gf due to this development. This is classic man-bashing (and I am a woman).
For example, there is another thread going on right now about medical wives. Several people in that thread are saying - "well you should have dumped your now husband when you realized he was going to work these kinds of hours." There is also another thread about whether or not a poster should marry her "poor" boyfriend. Many of the posters are saying to ditch him and go for the bucks.
So let me get this straight: Women can be super calculating and judgmental about what kind of job or money an existing boyfriend makes, but this guy can't have a moment of doubt about the fact that his existing gf might not be about to procreate?! Are you serious!?
And there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with him sharing that with his sister. Who else is he supposed to talk to about it, exactly?
They say that parents with a deceased child are very likely to split up - it's really hard for two people who are grieving to be supportive of each other's grief.
This situation is a less intense version of that.
OP loves his gf and had planned to have kids with her. Yes this problem is more hers than his in that he can take off and find someone else, but the point is that he was not planning to do that. He is attached to his gf. So this was a huge blow to him too - this was who he thought would be the future mother of his children.
I do agree that OP seems to have written and re-written part of his story, which is suspicious, but I also think it's possible that he might have tried to make himself appear more sympathetic because of the bullying that he's received here on this board for talking about a very sad problem that any loving boyfriend and hopeful father would struggle to deal with.
Unbelievable.
Thank you. +1
Anonymous
10/13/2015 16:21
Subject: Re:I am scared I lost the love of my life.
Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa. Let's all take a step back.
Most of us enter into marriage with the intention of having kids. Not all of us. But most of us. That is kind of how this whole show keeps moving on, ya know?!
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with OP having a moment of doubt about his gf due to this development. This is classic man-bashing (and I am a woman).
For example, there is another thread going on right now about medical wives. Several people in that thread are saying - "well you should have dumped your now husband when you realized he was going to work these kinds of hours." There is also another thread about whether or not a poster should marry her "poor" boyfriend. Many of the posters are saying to ditch him and go for the bucks.
So let me get this straight: Women can be super calculating and judgmental about what kind of job or money an existing boyfriend makes, but this guy can't have a moment of doubt about the fact that his existing gf might not be about to procreate?! Are you serious!?
And there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with him sharing that with his sister. Who else is he supposed to talk to about it, exactly?
They say that parents with a deceased child are very likely to split up - it's really hard for two people who are grieving to be supportive of each other's grief.
This situation is a less intense version of that.
OP loves his gf and had planned to have kids with her. Yes this problem is more hers than his in that he can take off and find someone else, but the point is that he was not planning to do that. He is attached to his gf. So this was a huge blow to him too - this was who he thought would be the future mother of his children.
I do agree that OP seems to have written and re-written part of his story, which is suspicious, but I also think it's possible that he might have tried to make himself appear more sympathetic because of the bullying that he's received here on this board for talking about a very sad problem that any loving boyfriend and hopeful father would struggle to deal with.
Unbelievable.
Most of us enter into marriage with the intention of having kids. Not all of us. But most of us. That is kind of how this whole show keeps moving on, ya know?!
There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with OP having a moment of doubt about his gf due to this development. This is classic man-bashing (and I am a woman).
For example, there is another thread going on right now about medical wives. Several people in that thread are saying - "well you should have dumped your now husband when you realized he was going to work these kinds of hours." There is also another thread about whether or not a poster should marry her "poor" boyfriend. Many of the posters are saying to ditch him and go for the bucks.
So let me get this straight: Women can be super calculating and judgmental about what kind of job or money an existing boyfriend makes, but this guy can't have a moment of doubt about the fact that his existing gf might not be about to procreate?! Are you serious!?
And there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with him sharing that with his sister. Who else is he supposed to talk to about it, exactly?
They say that parents with a deceased child are very likely to split up - it's really hard for two people who are grieving to be supportive of each other's grief.
This situation is a less intense version of that.
OP loves his gf and had planned to have kids with her. Yes this problem is more hers than his in that he can take off and find someone else, but the point is that he was not planning to do that. He is attached to his gf. So this was a huge blow to him too - this was who he thought would be the future mother of his children.
I do agree that OP seems to have written and re-written part of his story, which is suspicious, but I also think it's possible that he might have tried to make himself appear more sympathetic because of the bullying that he's received here on this board for talking about a very sad problem that any loving boyfriend and hopeful father would struggle to deal with.
Unbelievable.
Anonymous
10/13/2015 16:08
Subject: I am scared I lost the love of my life.
Anonymous wrote:OP you DID say you couldn't see your life with her because she's unlikely to have bio children naturally and you said "I don't know if I can live without bio kids." At 32 I really can't understand how you don't recognize that honest translation of your words. Keep on trying to rewrite things and see where that gets you.
Or be an adult and own your fucking shit.
Yeah, but my understanding is that he confided those thoughts to his sister, not meant for her to hear. If she hadn't read his email, she never would have heard this sentiment, as he tried to work through the issue in his own head. He's entitled to have "process time" and figure things out, just as she did. (That being said, I agree with a PP who earlier said he shouldn't be sharing someone's private health information, but I'm also torn in that it affects him too.)
I don't know, I don't see the "OP is a monster and doesn't deserve a happy life" crap that people are spouting.