I am a man in my 50's. Divorced after 18 years. I ended up going out with a 20 something a few times. We ran in to several main issues that meant that we would not actually date: 1) she had not really lived life and had no experiences, 2) she did not like the Boss. 3) I can not perform as well as 20 year olds (pluming works; but flexibility is lacking). 4) I freaked out when I realized I was wearing a shirt that was older than her (Celebrating the Redskins last great season).

Basically, we realized that our places in life were too different. While she was attracted to me intellectually and found me funny, I discovered that she really had no experiences yet. She was in her first job out of school (so am I, but I had spent 25 year with the (different) company). But, She was asking the type of career questions one might ask a mentor. Not a lover. She wanted to have a family. I had been there done that.

Oh, and I realized that my 14 yo daughter was much closer in age to her than I am.

We went out twice. It was good for my ego -- she was by far the prettiest woman I had ever been out with. I wanted to have sex with her (and the feeling was mutual), but instead, told her the truth. I am too old for her.

Anonymous wrote:35-45 is actually the perfect age for a man who is looking for an LTR. He can date women that are 28-35, which is the age when women are starting to realize that their options for an LTR aren't as boundless as they were always told. And both are still reasonably young enough to have their health and start a family.

Women 18-28 today typically have laughable expectations of men and are awash in thimble-deep Instagram feminism and tacky materialism. Most sensible 40+ men should avoid women in that age range anyway.

Sure, any half-way decent looking woman can get *sex* fairly easily, but getting a guy to have sex with you is hardly a difficult accomplishment. It's the LTR's that elude them, and those are more difficult to come by as you age.

LMAO.. You are so bitter and it's delightful to watch

35-45 is actually the perfect age for a man who is looking for an LTR. He can date women that are 28-35, which is the age when women are starting to realize that their options for an LTR aren't as boundless as they were always told. And both are still reasonably young enough to have their health and start a family.

Women 18-28 today typically have laughable expectations of men and are awash in thimble-deep Instagram feminism and tacky materialism. Most sensible 40+ men should avoid women in that age range anyway.

Sure, any half-way decent looking woman can get *sex* fairly easily, but getting a guy to have sex with you is hardly a difficult accomplishment. It's the LTR's that elude them, and those are more difficult to come by as you age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm mid 30s, balding though otherwise attractive, not super rich, and still get decent attention from women in their mid and late 20s.

Are you mad? Don't be. Don't be mad.

Bald AND middle aged and broke?


Excuse me if I don't quite believe the ladies are lining up for you I think you have confused real life with a wet dream you had...

Balding. Not completely bald, though I may end up so.

Mid 30s is "middle aged"? News to me.

I have a good job. I said I wasn't "super rich". I'm not "broke". Brush up on your reading skills.

My point was it's not difficult for a decent guy to date/have sex with women 5-8 years younger. I'm certainly not talking about waitresses or bartenders. I actually like women close to my age for relationships though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's mean but I tend to really look down on women in their 20s who have to marry men in their mid30s or 40s (let alone above that). I generally think men that age are pretty desperate for young female attention. Roping one in is about as easy as catching a sloth. On the other hand I really respect women, regardless of age, who manage to catch the young, hot, and intelligent guys. Those are the trophies, in my book.

Your book sounds quite judgmental and nasty. No desire no read it.

Whatever your age, go get a life.

+1

You "really look down" on a woman, who in her 20s, marries a 30-something man? Give me a break.

+2 Seriously.. I'm 29 and my husband is 35. What's wrong with this age difference? I don't get your point.

You're "second string" from the bitter harpies on this board. Ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed when in my 20s that I would often see rich, 40+ men with women in their 20s that the average 20yo guy would not find all that attractive.

After my divorce in my late 30s I had a six month relationship with a grad student, so it's possible her peers would have thought the same thing about us.

Yep.

The older men usually have to settle for the girls who's bodies arent that great and particularly faces are off.

And the young girl is just excited to be getting attention since she doesnt usually get it from men her age, who are chasing after the prom queen types

Women like you give women a bad name. Feeling disappointed in your average lumpy middling wage earner of a husband and middle aged spread and feeling the need to take it out on anonymous straw man 20 year old girls. Nice.

LOL. Guess again. I'm much closer to 20 than to middle age- MUCH.

So you're prematurely bitter and hateful without even a lifetime of disappointment behind you? Good luck with that!

Bahaha. Anyone who has any opinions about someone else is "bitter"? Mmmm okay. Sounds like you are really reaching there, buddy...

I'm a woman. Yes, anyone who would say things I've seen in this thread like "young girls HAVE to marry older men because _____" and your comments saying younger girls only marry older when they're ugly and desperate for the attention are BITTER. Maybe you aren't married and wish you were. Maybe YOU don't get attention from men and have to make yourself feel better by saying it's just because you're too good looking. I don't know. But the misogyny in this thread is disgusting. People marry who they want for their own reasons, not because they're ugly or desperate or "third string." Women talking so derogatorily about other women who are doing nothing but leading their own lives - it's nasty.

Actually I DO get plenty of attention from men, which I think is fairly common for women my age and older/younger. Both older men and younger men. And when you have the option of financially stable, intelligent, ATTRACTIVE younger guys, or a guy who is 15 years older and his physique and appearance are affected proportionally, I think any rational person would say there's no contest.

I don't think that's a particularly groundbreaking idea. Which is why many people cast aspersions on young women with older men...

Most people don't "cast aspersions" on young women with older men, especially not when it's a 10-15 year difference, and the women is at least pushing 30. The only time I really notice people snarking about age differences is when the man is old enough to be her father and is not even remotely youthful or good-looking, like Billy Joel and whoever he just married.

Listen, if you don't want to date a man who is a few years older than you, don't. No one is forcing you to do anything.

Plenty of people do. And the vast majority assume she's not with him for physical attraction...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed when in my 20s that I would often see rich, 40+ men with women in their 20s that the average 20yo guy would not find all that attractive.

After my divorce in my late 30s I had a six month relationship with a grad student, so it's possible her peers would have thought the same thing about us.

Yep.

The older men usually have to settle for the girls who's bodies arent that great and particularly faces are off.

And the young girl is just excited to be getting attention since she doesnt usually get it from men her age, who are chasing after the prom queen types

Women like you give women a bad name. Feeling disappointed in your average lumpy middling wage earner of a husband and middle aged spread and feeling the need to take it out on anonymous straw man 20 year old girls. Nice.

LOL. Guess again. I'm much closer to 20 than to middle age- MUCH.

So you're prematurely bitter and hateful without even a lifetime of disappointment behind you? Good luck with that!

Bahaha. Anyone who has any opinions about someone else is "bitter"? Mmmm okay. Sounds like you are really reaching there, buddy...

I'm a woman. Yes, anyone who would say things I've seen in this thread like "young girls HAVE to marry older men because _____" and your comments saying younger girls only marry older when they're ugly and desperate for the attention are BITTER. Maybe you aren't married and wish you were. Maybe YOU don't get attention from men and have to make yourself feel better by saying it's just because you're too good looking. I don't know. But the misogyny in this thread is disgusting. People marry who they want for their own reasons, not because they're ugly or desperate or "third string." Women talking so derogatorily about other women who are doing nothing but leading their own lives - it's nasty.

Actually I DO get plenty of attention from men, which I think is fairly common for women my age and older/younger. Both older men and younger men. And when you have the option of financially stable, intelligent, ATTRACTIVE younger guys, or a guy who is 15 years older and his physique and appearance are affected proportionally, I think any rational person would say there's no contest.

I don't think that's a particularly groundbreaking idea. Which is why many people cast aspersions on young women with older men...

Most people don't "cast aspersions" on young women with older men, especially not when it's a 10-15 year difference, and the women is at least pushing 30. The only time I really notice people snarking about age differences is when the man is old enough to be her father and is not even remotely youthful or good-looking, like Billy Joel and whoever he just married.

Listen, if you don't want to date a man who is a few years older than you, don't. No one is forcing you to do anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I noticed when in my 20s that I would often see rich, 40+ men with women in their 20s that the average 20yo guy would not find all that attractive.

After my divorce in my late 30s I had a six month relationship with a grad student, so it's possible her peers would have thought the same thing about us.

Yep.

The older men usually have to settle for the girls who's bodies arent that great and particularly faces are off.

And the young girl is just excited to be getting attention since she doesnt usually get it from men her age, who are chasing after the prom queen types

Women like you give women a bad name. Feeling disappointed in your average lumpy middling wage earner of a husband and middle aged spread and feeling the need to take it out on anonymous straw man 20 year old girls. Nice.

LOL. Guess again. I'm much closer to 20 than to middle age- MUCH.

So you're prematurely bitter and hateful without even a lifetime of disappointment behind you? Good luck with that!

Bahaha. Anyone who has any opinions about someone else is "bitter"? Mmmm okay. Sounds like you are really reaching there, buddy...

I'm a woman. Yes, anyone who would say things I've seen in this thread like "young girls HAVE to marry older men because _____" and your comments saying younger girls only marry older when they're ugly and desperate for the attention are BITTER. Maybe you aren't married and wish you were. Maybe YOU don't get attention from men and have to make yourself feel better by saying it's just because you're too good looking. I don't know. But the misogyny in this thread is disgusting. People marry who they want for their own reasons, not because they're ugly or desperate or "third string." Women talking so derogatorily about other women who are doing nothing but leading their own lives - it's nasty.

Actually I DO get plenty of attention from men, which I think is fairly common for women my age and older/younger. Both older men and younger men. And when you have the option of financially stable, intelligent, ATTRACTIVE younger guys, or a guy who is 15 years older and his physique and appearance are affected proportionally, I think any rational person would say there's no contest.

I don't think that's a particularly groundbreaking idea. Which is why many people cast aspersions on young women with older men...

Anonymous wrote:Ryan Phillipe, age 40:

He is paid to look that way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a big difference between a 10 year gap and a 24 year age difference. Not sure why you include both in your post as if they are even close to the same.

A 10 year difference is close enough that individual variation can outweigh generalizations. At 24 year difference is a full generation gap and is really a different thing entirely.

Because they are two extremes of the same truth: older men will age and sicken faster, and it's a bad deal for the younger woman later in life.

You're missing the point. In general, yes older men will decline sooner. But, you are not marrying men, in general. You are marrying an individual. A ten year difference is still well within the range of individual variation. 24 years, not so much.

Why don't I take my mom's opinion over that of an internet stranger? If she says being married to an older man aged her before her time, then it's good enough for me.

Ryan Phillipe, age 40:

And the older you get, the more variation there is in their health and aging.

At one extreme, you have morbidly obese, smoking, diabetic 45 year olds with advanced cardiovascular disease who sleep with CPAPs. On the other hand, you've got guys like Jared Leto and Ryan Phillipe, who are super fit and who could still pass for their 20s.

You can speak in generalities, but you marry an individual.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a big difference between a 10 year gap and a 24 year age difference. Not sure why you include both in your post as if they are even close to the same.

A 10 year difference is close enough that individual variation can outweigh generalizations. At 24 year difference is a full generation gap and is really a different thing entirely.

Because they are two extremes of the same truth: older men will age and sicken faster, and it's a bad deal for the younger woman later in life.

You're missing the point. In general, yes older men will decline sooner. But, you are not marrying men, in general. You are marrying an individual. A ten year difference is still well within the range of individual variation. 24 years, not so much.

Anonymous wrote:There's a big difference between a 10 year gap and a 24 year age difference. Not sure why you include both in your post as if they are even close to the same.

A 10 year difference is close enough that individual variation can outweigh generalizations. At 24 year difference is a full generation gap and is really a different thing entirely.

Because they are two extremes of the same truth: older men will age and sicken faster, and it's a bad deal for the younger woman later in life.

There's a big difference between a 10 year gap and a 24 year age difference. Not sure why you include both in your post as if they are even close to the same.

A 10 year difference is close enough that individual variation can outweigh generalizations. At 24 year difference is a full generation gap and is really a different thing entirely.