I just went to the IKEA website to price out tableware for my Thanksgiving for 25. Basic white plates were $4-5 each, leaving aside dessert plates, coffee cups, etc. So we're talking $100-125 just for dinner plates, so probably around $300 to get all the dishes I need. Then I need to deal with flatware, at IKEA I'm looking at $6 for a 6-pack of each type of utensil. I need 25 dinner forks, 25 dinner knives, 25 dessert forks, and let's call it just 15 coffee spoons, since not everyone drinks coffee. That will cost me $108 for enough flatware. I'm good on wine glasses for the number of wine drinkers we have, but I'll need more basic drinking glasses for people who want other beverages. Again, IKEA will sell me 6 for $4, I should probably get four packs of those for another $16. So $424 plus tax, which will bring it up to nearly $450. On top of the hundreds of dollars I'll be paying for a large turkey and ham, ingredients for other sides, wine, other beverages, etc. That is a crazy amount of money to ask someone to spend hosting Thanksgiving, especially when I can get enough plasticware for about $40.

Anonymous wrote:Add your special touch to make it special. If it is doing dishes for three days afterward, then go for it. Some of us like to actually talk to guests.

So do I! That's why I do a lot of prep work before guests even arrive (Pioneer Woman has a great recipe for mashed potatoes that can be made the day before), take people up on offers to help (yes, please bring a pie!), set the table the night before (we go out for pizza with overnight guests), am a very clean-as-I-go cook, and let people help with clear-up and cleaning. Working together, it's done in just two hours.

Who takes three days to do dishes? How odd.

Add your special touch to make it special. If it is doing dishes for three days afterward, then go for it. Some of us like to actually talk to guests.

We have the same issue in our family. Everyone has asked, and everyone has been given the okay to use nice strong, paper plates, as the family has grown exponentially!

Really life is too short to spend all that time doing dishes. Fine china has to be hand washed, as does real silver, and real crystal - if it is lined with gold or silver. I would not dare put any of mine in the washer - and we have a professional kitchen with three dishwashers. I'm not going to be a snob about washing dishes, that is for sure.

The IL's might not be my favorite people, but I sure as hell am not going to spend more time doing dishes than I have to.

For that matter, yes one or two of our family has been known to order a Honey Baked Ham (or two or four) - same with Boston Market. If you think you are too good to attend, then simply don't. Not everyone has a professional kitchen, we get it. It's okay. Life is not limited to who has what. Really.

Who are these people, in this area of all places, who think they are too good for arbitrary vendors? You are absolutely ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're going to do more larger-scale dinners, buy the plates.

People are supposed to pitch in and help with the dishes (or loading the washer) on Thanksgiving.

People are supposed to do lots of things.

Usually, in my experience, the "people" in this case means: "women".

I agree. Why can't men do something other than eat, watch football, andgo to the bathroom?

They can. They just don't want to. And they can get away with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

MIL is not doing it the way you'd do it so you want to host. You wouldn't do it the way MIL is doing it so she would want to continue hosting.
Ironic.

Not PP, but what bugs me about this whole dynamic is that it's always the "let's just do it the easy way" people who seem to get their way. People who want to use nice linens and china, to put in the extra effort, are always accused of "making a big deal about it." Well...yes! Let's have 2-4 meals a YEAR that we make a big deal out of! The "let's just keep things simple" people don't seem to realize that it is truly a joy for some of us to make an event special.

If MIL isn't up for hosting a special evening, and the DIL is, why not just go and enjoy a special event that someone else takes charge of?

I think that, in your mother-in-law's opinion, your mother-in-law IS hosting a special evening. It's just that your opinion of what makes a special evening is different from hers.

If you think you might host parties of this size in the future, and you have a place to store the extras, I'd just buy some cheap Ikea or Target plates. It's nice for the holidays to have stuff like this around. Not required by any means, just nice to use real stuff.

I have a box with 15 extra plates, extra silverware and extra wine glasses. All of it is cheap stuff, but I pull it out anytime we're doing a sit down meal. So Thanksgiving and Xmas. For other parties, were it's more buffet style, I use nice disposable.

Basically, do what you want.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're going to do more larger-scale dinners, buy the plates.

People are supposed to pitch in and help with the dishes (or loading the washer) on Thanksgiving.

People are supposed to do lots of things.

Usually, in my experience, the "people" in this case means: "women".

I agree. Why can't men do something other than eat, watch football, andgo to the bathroom?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really not a fan, but 25 does seem like a lot.

Inlaws make us eat on disposable when it's just us (their kids and spouses) on Thanksgiving. It's one of my bigger pet peeves about the holiday.

Then you should offer to host and clean up.

Would LOVE to host. DH and I are excellent cooks and have tables big enough to fit everyone. It's "tradition" that inlaws host sadly and they aren't giving it up.

I'm in your boat. MIL will not have the holiday pried out of her hands, even though we end up eating off paper plates and getting fast food-type catering, you know, for less hassle. It's cute how PP thinks we're all just a bunch of entitled prisses and aren't offering to help or even take over.

Paper plates and fast food-type catering at Thanksgiving?! Oh my! You poor thing!

Yes, I suspect that the PPs have bigger issues with their in-laws, and the paper plates at Thanksgiving are just a stand-in for those bigger issues.

I would like to know, however: which fast-food places cater a Thanksgiving dinner? Or are the in-laws serving hamburgers and fries?

Sounds to me like the "issue" is these DILs want to host and finally have a "turn" and hosting a nice holiday, but the ILs insist on hosting because it is "tradition"...but are then getting fast-food catering and paper plates to avoid the hassle. Just let the younger generation host!

Yes, this is the deal. If MIL thinks cooking and setting an actual table is too much, I am happy to take the duties - and I've offered.

MIL is not doing it the way you'd do it so you want to host. You wouldn't do it the way MIL is doing it so she would want to continue hosting.
Ironic.

Not PP, but what bugs me about this whole dynamic is that it's always the "let's just do it the easy way" people who seem to get their way. People who want to use nice linens and china, to put in the extra effort, are always accused of "making a big deal about it." Well...yes! Let's have 2-4 meals a YEAR that we make a big deal out of! The "let's just keep things simple" people don't seem to realize that it is truly a joy for some of us to make an event special.

If MIL isn't up for hosting a special evening, and the DIL is, why not just go and enjoy a special event that someone else takes charge of?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really not a fan, but 25 does seem like a lot.

Inlaws make us eat on disposable when it's just us (their kids and spouses) on Thanksgiving. It's one of my bigger pet peeves about the holiday.

Then you should offer to host and clean up.

Would LOVE to host. DH and I are excellent cooks and have tables big enough to fit everyone. It's "tradition" that inlaws host sadly and they aren't giving it up.

I'm in your boat. MIL will not have the holiday pried out of her hands, even though we end up eating off paper plates and getting fast food-type catering, you know, for less hassle. It's cute how PP thinks we're all just a bunch of entitled prisses and aren't offering to help or even take over.

Paper plates and fast food-type catering at Thanksgiving?! Oh my! You poor thing!

Yes, I suspect that the PPs have bigger issues with their in-laws, and the paper plates at Thanksgiving are just a stand-in for those bigger issues.

I would like to know, however: which fast-food places cater a Thanksgiving dinner? Or are the in-laws serving hamburgers and fries?

Sounds to me like the "issue" is these DILs want to host and finally have a "turn" and hosting a nice holiday, but the ILs insist on hosting because it is "tradition"...but are then getting fast-food catering and paper plates to avoid the hassle. Just let the younger generation host!

Yes, this is the deal. If MIL thinks cooking and setting an actual table is too much, I am happy to take the duties - and I've offered.

MIL is not doing it the way you'd do it so you want to host. You wouldn't do it the way MIL is doing it so she would want to continue hosting. Ironic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm really not a fan, but 25 does seem like a lot.

Inlaws make us eat on disposable when it's just us (their kids and spouses) on Thanksgiving. It's one of my bigger pet peeves about the holiday.

Then you should offer to host and clean up.

Would LOVE to host. DH and I are excellent cooks and have tables big enough to fit everyone. It's "tradition" that inlaws host sadly and they aren't giving it up.

I'm in your boat. MIL will not have the holiday pried out of her hands, even though we end up eating off paper plates and getting fast food-type catering, you know, for less hassle. It's cute how PP thinks we're all just a bunch of entitled prisses and aren't offering to help or even take over.

Paper plates and fast food-type catering at Thanksgiving?! Oh my! You poor thing!

Yes, I suspect that the PPs have bigger issues with their in-laws, and the paper plates at Thanksgiving are just a stand-in for those bigger issues.

I would like to know, however: which fast-food places cater a Thanksgiving dinner? Or are the in-laws serving hamburgers and fries?

Sounds to me like the "issue" is these DILs want to host and finally have a "turn" and hosting a nice holiday, but the ILs insist on hosting because it is "tradition"...but are then getting fast-food catering and paper plates to avoid the hassle. Just let the younger generation host!

Yes, this is the deal. If MIL thinks cooking and setting an actual table is too much, I am happy to take the duties - and I've offered.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Google pottery barn catering set. Not overly expensive. Can be reused for any occasion.

Bring civility back to the world.

We host 25 plus. Real China. Real silver. Real crystal. It's actually pretty nice. And yeah, it does taste better.

You have a set of sterling silver flatware, enough for 25+ people?

Not PP, but: When families pass down pieces, it adds up.

Good to learn. I'm not part of a family that has pieces of sterling silver flatware to pass down.

I'd do the nice disposables. We regularly host 20+ people and it's never been an issue. Nbd.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Google pottery barn catering set. Not overly expensive. Can be reused for any occasion.

Bring civility back to the world.

We host 25 plus. Real China. Real silver. Real crystal. It's actually pretty nice. And yeah, it does taste better.

You have a set of sterling silver flatware, enough for 25+ people?

Not PP, but: When families pass down pieces, it adds up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are Boston Market and Heavenly Ham fast food?

You think this is acceptable for Thanksgiving?

If you can't cook a proper Thanksgiving meal then you have no business hosting it.

If you're not serving Boston Market/Heavenly Ham, and you're not being served Boston Market/Heavenly Ham, why do you care?