Anonymous
05/28/2015 04:15
Subject: Puzzling "Stand Off" In Relationship (Not-Married)
Anonymous wrote:Guys, this is a troll. It doesn't even write like a straight adult man.
+1
Reads like a 14 year old girl.
Anonymous
05/28/2015 04:10
Subject: Puzzling "Stand Off" In Relationship (Not-Married)
I am a Female here + my opinion is that she is comfortable and used to the relationship.
Breaking up is easier for some than others and she may just dread the thought of being alone.
No one likes to be alone. And society seems to send the wrong message that unless we are coupled up, we are losers. It views being single as only "temporary." Definitely not something you want to be forever and ever.
Also, she may be staying because she truly loves you. Even if things are stale now, she may not like the idea of losing you and imagining you happy w/someone else.
I guarantee all or most of these factor into why she hasn't moved on.
Breaking up is easier for some than others and she may just dread the thought of being alone.
No one likes to be alone. And society seems to send the wrong message that unless we are coupled up, we are losers. It views being single as only "temporary." Definitely not something you want to be forever and ever.
Also, she may be staying because she truly loves you. Even if things are stale now, she may not like the idea of losing you and imagining you happy w/someone else.
I guarantee all or most of these factor into why she hasn't moved on.
Anonymous
05/28/2015 00:02
Subject: Re:Puzzling "Stand Off" In Relationship (Not-Married)
Trying to respond to OP question instead of getting into a fight about whether he is a good catch or not: I have been in your GF situation and I know others who have been. My experience:
- inertia is a surprisingly strong force.
- you know what you lose not what you may get
- she has LD (which is very diff to overcome, speaking from my own experience
) it is extremely diff for her to realize how frustrating it is for you (when you don't know anymore what hunger is, it is hard to put yourself in the shoes of someone who is starving), so she may just hope you will be able to deal with it in the end (she doesn't realize that's delusional, I certainly didn't)
- she may just be on the lookout for other opportunities and keeping you in the meantime: a consequence from ten above points + fear of being alone. She wants to take the jump only when she has a back up plan
- inertia is a surprisingly strong force.
- you know what you lose not what you may get
- she has LD (which is very diff to overcome, speaking from my own experience
) it is extremely diff for her to realize how frustrating it is for you (when you don't know anymore what hunger is, it is hard to put yourself in the shoes of someone who is starving), so she may just hope you will be able to deal with it in the end (she doesn't realize that's delusional, I certainly didn't)
- she may just be on the lookout for other opportunities and keeping you in the meantime: a consequence from ten above points + fear of being alone. She wants to take the jump only when she has a back up plan
Anonymous
05/27/2015 23:20
Subject: Puzzling "Stand Off" In Relationship (Not-Married)
Guys, this is a troll. It doesn't even write like a straight adult man.
Anonymous
05/27/2015 22:54
Subject: Re:Puzzling "Stand Off" In Relationship (Not-Married)
OP, I can't wrap my head around one thing. You are from a wealthy family, highly educated family, people from these backgrounds are typically proud and self reliant. How come you are staying with your GF and making no contribution to rent/mortgage ? I would consider that a huge turn off, someone taking advantage of his GF is not acting like " old money" to me, if there's one thing family money should teach it is CLASS.
Anonymous
05/27/2015 22:50
Subject: Puzzling "Stand Off" In Relationship (Not-Married)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:^Actually that's been my party line from the beginning. I dont know if your sense of wounded ego distracted you, or you have poor reading comprehension, or what the deal is, but my assessment of you and your situation has not changed.
(Well, maybe a little. It definitely became worse as I realized your entire concept of yourself as a success has to do with your parents' country club. At age 33.)
You dont provide many benefits, but enough for her. And she's probably a bit lonely to deal with someone that, having spoken to you for a long period of time and dealt with your asperger's personality, I can only classify as "anti-social".
Except for the small inconvenient fact that the PP actually listed 7-8 things that you never said in any of your 20+ posts. You spent 2-3% of your words talking about some vague "benefits" that I offer to gf (which you never defined or talked about) and then spent 97% of your verbage talking about how I don't measure up. PP actually listed 7-8 plausible reasons for gf's behavior in 1 post. You offered 1 vague platitude in 25+ posts. Talk about lacking efficiency LOL.
Yes, because you kept contesting my assessment of you. And I was more than happy to expand and explain exactly how I came to believe you were a loser.
Again, I have the same idea of why she is with you. That has not changed at all, though my opinion of you has gone downhill, which I initially would not have thought possible.
I'm really hurt. Your opinion means a lot to me.
That's obvious, since you've been trying to contest it for damn near 7 pages.
I'm feeling fine. I got some good advice from another poster. I beat you on points in our little spat by a wide margin. I'm setting in for a great night. Plus it's my favorite time of year. Professor doesn't work during the summer =)
You're a pretty sorry excuse for a professor if you don't work in the summer. Probably won't even make tenure. All the star professors I know never stop working. Except if my theory is correct that you are a law professor - they're lazy.
I seriously fear for his students if this man is actually teaching law. His argumentation is so horrendous, so illogical, jumping all over the place... I think a 2nd grader could come up with a better defense than this guy.
Anonymous
05/27/2015 22:48
Subject: Puzzling "Stand Off" In Relationship (Not-Married)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:^Actually that's been my party line from the beginning. I dont know if your sense of wounded ego distracted you, or you have poor reading comprehension, or what the deal is, but my assessment of you and your situation has not changed.
(Well, maybe a little. It definitely became worse as I realized your entire concept of yourself as a success has to do with your parents' country club. At age 33.)
You dont provide many benefits, but enough for her. And she's probably a bit lonely to deal with someone that, having spoken to you for a long period of time and dealt with your asperger's personality, I can only classify as "anti-social".
Except for the small inconvenient fact that the PP actually listed 7-8 things that you never said in any of your 20+ posts. You spent 2-3% of your words talking about some vague "benefits" that I offer to gf (which you never defined or talked about) and then spent 97% of your verbage talking about how I don't measure up. PP actually listed 7-8 plausible reasons for gf's behavior in 1 post. You offered 1 vague platitude in 25+ posts. Talk about lacking efficiency LOL.
Yes, because you kept contesting my assessment of you. And I was more than happy to expand and explain exactly how I came to believe you were a loser.
Again, I have the same idea of why she is with you. That has not changed at all, though my opinion of you has gone downhill, which I initially would not have thought possible.
I'm really hurt. Your opinion means a lot to me.
That's obvious, since you've been trying to contest it for damn near 7 pages.
I'm feeling fine. I got some good advice from another poster. I beat you on points in our little spat by a wide margin. I'm setting in for a great night. Plus it's my favorite time of year. Professor doesn't work during the summer =)
You are the absolute ONLY person who thinks you won it on points. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, Prof.
Anonymous
05/27/2015 22:43
Subject: Puzzling "Stand Off" In Relationship (Not-Married)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:^Actually that's been my party line from the beginning. I dont know if your sense of wounded ego distracted you, or you have poor reading comprehension, or what the deal is, but my assessment of you and your situation has not changed.
(Well, maybe a little. It definitely became worse as I realized your entire concept of yourself as a success has to do with your parents' country club. At age 33.)
You dont provide many benefits, but enough for her. And she's probably a bit lonely to deal with someone that, having spoken to you for a long period of time and dealt with your asperger's personality, I can only classify as "anti-social".
Except for the small inconvenient fact that the PP actually listed 7-8 things that you never said in any of your 20+ posts. You spent 2-3% of your words talking about some vague "benefits" that I offer to gf (which you never defined or talked about) and then spent 97% of your verbage talking about how I don't measure up. PP actually listed 7-8 plausible reasons for gf's behavior in 1 post. You offered 1 vague platitude in 25+ posts. Talk about lacking efficiency LOL.
Yes, because you kept contesting my assessment of you. And I was more than happy to expand and explain exactly how I came to believe you were a loser.
Again, I have the same idea of why she is with you. That has not changed at all, though my opinion of you has gone downhill, which I initially would not have thought possible.
I'm really hurt. Your opinion means a lot to me.
That's obvious, since you've been trying to contest it for damn near 7 pages.
I'm feeling fine. I got some good advice from another poster. I beat you on points in our little spat by a wide margin. I'm setting in for a great night. Plus it's my favorite time of year. Professor doesn't work during the summer =)
You're a pretty sorry excuse for a professor if you don't work in the summer. Probably won't even make tenure. All the star professors I know never stop working. Except if my theory is correct that you are a law professor - they're lazy.
Anonymous
05/27/2015 22:14
Subject: Puzzling "Stand Off" In Relationship (Not-Married)
21:41 here adding to my list of reasons above:
- She is learning and growing through her relationship with you, and the power of this growth is more compelling than worries about end dates for having kids, at least for now.
- She is learning and growing through her relationship with you, and the power of this growth is more compelling than worries about end dates for having kids, at least for now.
Anonymous
05/27/2015 22:04
Subject: Puzzling "Stand Off" In Relationship (Not-Married)
What's the counselor's take on your situation?
Anonymous
05/27/2015 22:00
Subject: Puzzling "Stand Off" In Relationship (Not-Married)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:She sounds like she might be gay. Not attracted to men but likes having a steady BF to show off. She doesn't want kids. Even LD women kick up the sex when they'd like to conceive a baby. She just thinks it sounds good or what she should want. A 37yo woman working over 70 hrs a week and gets a new puppy is avoiding the man in her bed. Either the sex (for her) was not as good as you thought or she likes women.
Meanwhile, OP has wasted his 30s on this woman.
Yeah exactly. OP has wasted a decade on this woman. Oh wait. OP met woman when he was 30. OP Just turned 33. Turns out OP has 7.5 more years before he turns 40. And OP is a dude whose career is on the rise. Damn facts.
OP, are you gaslighting again?!
Naughty naughty! *wags finger*
You do realize you have a very obvious, incredibly immature tone of speaking which makes you too damn easy to root out... right? So it just makes you look even worse when you try to comment from multiple voices, especially when you slip up and move between "I" and "OP".
Who cares how I refer to myself? Irrelevant to the math slip up that PP made.
Wait let's dissect this a bit. My response here simply called a PP out for making a false claim. I didn't waste my 30s. A decade is 10 years. I'm 33. Just helping PP with math. Maybe not his strong suit.
And referring to yourself in the third person, so it would seem like you were someone else.
Seriously, you are so transparent and it's genuinely depressing at this point.
Anonymous
05/27/2015 22:00
Subject: Re:Puzzling "Stand Off" In Relationship (Not-Married)
OP on this thread:
Anonymous
05/27/2015 21:59
Subject: Puzzling "Stand Off" In Relationship (Not-Married)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:She sounds like she might be gay. Not attracted to men but likes having a steady BF to show off. She doesn't want kids. Even LD women kick up the sex when they'd like to conceive a baby. She just thinks it sounds good or what she should want. A 37yo woman working over 70 hrs a week and gets a new puppy is avoiding the man in her bed. Either the sex (for her) was not as good as you thought or she likes women.
Meanwhile, OP has wasted his 30s on this woman.
Yeah exactly. OP has wasted a decade on this woman. Oh wait. OP met woman when he was 30. OP Just turned 33. Turns out OP has 7.5 more years before he turns 40. And OP is a dude whose career is on the rise. Damn facts.
OP, are you gaslighting again?!
Naughty naughty! *wags finger*
You do realize you have a very obvious, incredibly immature tone of speaking which makes you too damn easy to root out... right? So it just makes you look even worse when you try to comment from multiple voices, especially when you slip up and move between "I" and "OP".
Wait let's dissect this a bit. My response here simply called a PP out for making a false claim. I didn't waste my 30s. A decade is 10 years. I'm 33. Just helping PP with math. Maybe not his strong suit.
And referring to yourself in the third person, so it would seem like you were someone else.
Seriously, you are so transparent and it's genuinely depressing at this point.
Anonymous
05/27/2015 21:59
Subject: Puzzling "Stand Off" In Relationship (Not-Married)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:^Actually that's been my party line from the beginning. I dont know if your sense of wounded ego distracted you, or you have poor reading comprehension, or what the deal is, but my assessment of you and your situation has not changed.
(Well, maybe a little. It definitely became worse as I realized your entire concept of yourself as a success has to do with your parents' country club. At age 33.)
You dont provide many benefits, but enough for her. And she's probably a bit lonely to deal with someone that, having spoken to you for a long period of time and dealt with your asperger's personality, I can only classify as "anti-social".
Except for the small inconvenient fact that the PP actually listed 7-8 things that you never said in any of your 20+ posts. You spent 2-3% of your words talking about some vague "benefits" that I offer to gf (which you never defined or talked about) and then spent 97% of your verbage talking about how I don't measure up. PP actually listed 7-8 plausible reasons for gf's behavior in 1 post. You offered 1 vague platitude in 25+ posts. Talk about lacking efficiency LOL.
Yes, because you kept contesting my assessment of you. And I was more than happy to expand and explain exactly how I came to believe you were a loser.
Again, I have the same idea of why she is with you. That has not changed at all, though my opinion of you has gone downhill, which I initially would not have thought possible.
I'm really hurt. Your opinion means a lot to me.
That's obvious, since you've been trying to contest it for damn near 7 pages.
I'm feeling fine. I got some good advice from another poster. I beat you on points in our little spat by a wide margin. I'm setting in for a great night. Plus it's my favorite time of year. Professor doesn't work during the summer =)
Anonymous
05/27/2015 21:58
Subject: Puzzling "Stand Off" In Relationship (Not-Married)
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:She sounds like she might be gay. Not attracted to men but likes having a steady BF to show off. She doesn't want kids. Even LD women kick up the sex when they'd like to conceive a baby. She just thinks it sounds good or what she should want. A 37yo woman working over 70 hrs a week and gets a new puppy is avoiding the man in her bed. Either the sex (for her) was not as good as you thought or she likes women.
Meanwhile, OP has wasted his 30s on this woman.
Yeah exactly. OP has wasted a decade on this woman. Oh wait. OP met woman when he was 30. OP Just turned 33. Turns out OP has 7.5 more years before he turns 40. And OP is a dude whose career is on the rise. Damn facts.
OP, are you gaslighting again?!
Naughty naughty! *wags finger*
You do realize you have a very obvious, incredibly immature tone of speaking which makes you too damn easy to root out... right? So it just makes you look even worse when you try to comment from multiple voices, especially when you slip up and move between "I" and "OP".
Wait let's dissect this a bit. My response here simply called a PP out for making a false claim. I didn't waste my 30s. A decade is 10 years. I'm 33. Just helping PP with math. Maybe not his strong suit.