Anonymous
Post 05/06/2015 18:24     Subject: How far should we "Lean In?"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Since when is raising a child, "not working"?

Hope you don't tell the nanny, she's "not working."


You don't need a graduate degree to raise a child.


I have two graduate degrees and I retired at the ripe old age of 40 to stay at home. Having saved every single penny of my earnings, I was in a good position to do that + my DH is in a secure and well paying job. No debts, low mortgage and pension and savings, fully funded college and tons of insurance means that I can rest easy.

I think my graduate degree actually enabled me to be a SAHM with financial security, unlike a nanny. Another thing - there is a huge difference in the interaction any child will have with a very educated mom vs. a poorly educated child care provider. We all want to give our children the best advantage in life. In our family's case - I was the best advantage.


Wow, you got married before you started working, so your husband supported you financially while you were in, or immediately after, grad school? Great gig. I didn't even marry until I'd been out of grad school 6 years.


Yes, I got married before I started working, while I was still in Graduate school with a generous merit scholarship. Met DH when we were both undergrads. So, no student debts at all. Not only that, I actually made money in the stock market, with some of my savings as a grad student, and had a good chunk of change when I got my degree and started working.

Money is important for women because it gives them the flexibility they need to make choices - stay at home, work, outsource stuff, divorce, stay single, adopt, fertility treatment.

But, it is also important to make enough money, save, invest and grow it. Most women cannot do that. We are not good with our finances.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2015 17:19     Subject: How far should we "Lean In?"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I wish the SAHM would shut up about nannies just to try to justify being home. We paid our nanny a great wage, full taxes, etc. most people do pay well unless the nanny is not educated or illegal.


Noblesse oblige![/quote

So what do you want? I can't afford to pay my nanny as much as a lawyer. But she did earn well above the median range for someone with only a high school diploma in this area. I don't know what goes on in the rest of the country, but in my DC neighborhood, nannies get paid quite well considering their education levels. If I had to pay my nanny as much as my lawyer, I wouldn't have a nanny, and she would have a chance to earn the genuinely living wage I did manage to pay her.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2015 17:16     Subject: How far should we "Lean In?"
Anonymous wrote:I wish the SAHM would shut up about nannies just to try to justify being home. We paid our nanny a great wage, full taxes, etc. most people do pay well unless the nanny is not educated or illegal.


Noblesse oblige!
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2015 17:16     Subject: How far should we "Lean In?"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Funny how mum many posters are staying on the "leaning in" potential of their nannies!


My nanny has no leaning in potential. She was lucky to graduate from high school. Who cares?


I hope sincerely you do not consider yourself a feminist.


Not to mention she "was lucky" and "barely" graduated from high school, yet that's the person she's outsourcing the large portion of her kids' waking hours to. Wow. Even if it's true, I can't imagine speaking that way about someone I'd hired to be such a big influence on my kids.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2015 17:14     Subject: How far should we "Lean In?"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Funny how mum many posters are staying on the "leaning in" potential of their nannies!


My nanny has no leaning in potential. She was lucky to graduate from high school. Who cares?


I hope sincerely you do not consider yourself a feminist.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2015 17:13     Subject: How far should we "Lean In?"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's a debate that only the well-educated can afford to have.

While professional women engage in hand-wringing about whether they're "leaning in" enough, they don't stop to consider that for the nanny they employ, no amount of leaning in on her behalf will ever lead to a discernible increase in her salary/ benefits/ prestige.

Leaning in only considers the concerns of the professional class.


Truth.

I also agree. It's part of the "feminist" mantra: I want MY rights on the job, but the hell with my domestic workers hidden behind my closed doors.


Right. Equal rights for all - who think and look like us. The undereducated, immigrant women we rely upon so that we and our husbands may "lean in" need not apply.


I don't understand. Do you think nannies should make what doctors and lawyers make? What point are you trying to make?


That different standards seem to apply to different (types of) women. And why shouldn't a nanny make as much as a doctor or a lawyer? Unless, of course, you consider her contribution to society to be less valuable than that of doctors and lawyers.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2015 16:47     Subject: How far should we "Lean In?"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you also feel the same concern for the cashier at walmart who rings up your items, for the janitors who clean your kids school, etc??? I mean there will always be people that make low wages so I'm not understanding why people are going on and on about nanny wages.

Do you really think the walmart managers screamed
for equal rights for themselves?
No, that was your kind who did that.

Now you need to put your money where your (big) mouth is,
and treat your nanny accordingly.

Otherwise, feminism is in fact only for
RICH white women, rather than ALL women.




Meaning what, other than treat them with respect and pay them the market wage, legally?

Sitters/nannies earn anywhere from minimum wage up to $25-30 per hour, or even higher. There is no "market wage" for nannies. And most domestic workers are still getting paid off the books, even in the DC area, unfortunately. For that reason alone, it's impossible to determine a true market wage, when few would be willing to share their paystubs or tax records to show what they pay/earn.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2015 16:20     Subject: How far should we "Lean In?"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you also feel the same concern for the cashier at walmart who rings up your items, for the janitors who clean your kids school, etc??? I mean there will always be people that make low wages so I'm not understanding why people are going on and on about nanny wages.


Do you really think the walmart managers screamed
for equal rights for themselves?
No, that was your kind who did that.

Now you need to put your money where your (big) mouth is,
and treat your nanny accordingly.

Otherwise, feminism is in fact only for
RICH white women, rather than ALL women.




Yeah and you aren't screaming for it either. I'm not white FYI and I don't have a nanny either. But please stop with the fake outrage. I bet the low wages that waitresses make, won't stop yo from eating out.

Wait staff wages are only low if *you* fail to tip them.


It's still a low wage job for the most part. Were you out on the picket line with the fast food workers demanding higher wages?
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2015 16:18     Subject: How far should we "Lean In?"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you also feel the same concern for the cashier at walmart who rings up your items, for the janitors who clean your kids school, etc??? I mean there will always be people that make low wages so I'm not understanding why people are going on and on about nanny wages.

Do you really think the walmart managers screamed
for equal rights for themselves?
No, that was your kind who did that.

Now you need to put your money where your (big) mouth is,
and treat your nanny accordingly.

Otherwise, feminism is in fact only for
RICH white women, rather than ALL women.




Meaning what, other than treat them with respect and pay them the market wage, legally?
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2015 16:13     Subject: How far should we "Lean In?"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's a debate that only the well-educated can afford to have.

While professional women engage in hand-wringing about whether they're "leaning in" enough, they don't stop to consider that for the nanny they employ, no amount of leaning in on her behalf will ever lead to a discernible increase in her salary/ benefits/ prestige.

Leaning in only considers the concerns of the professional class.


Truth.

I also agree. It's part of the "feminist" mantra: I want MY rights on the job, but the hell with my domestic workers hidden behind my closed doors.


My "domestic worker" was able to finance a mortgage based solely on her salary working for us. We paid $300 every month for her healthcare premiums. How is that to hell with my domestic worker? She barely graduated from high school and made close to 50K a year.

Good for you and her that you paid her about $25/hour, plus benefits. That's a fair wage in exchange for what she provides for you.

Are you aware of the fact that most nannies in this area don't even earn enough to rent out their own bedroom, let alone an apartment, and are forced to live with a partner and share a bedroom, or "live-in" their jobs and never get to go home to their own place for some peace and quiet?

It's really rather shameful the way most parents take advantage of their nannies.



That is completely inapplicable to me and to my friends who have nannies.

It'd be mighty interesting to hear what the nannies are saying about you and your friends.
You'd be surprised!


So...I should quit work so I don't need a nanny? Is that your point? I haven't had a nanny in years, but thanks anyway.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2015 16:13     Subject: How far should we "Lean In?"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you also feel the same concern for the cashier at walmart who rings up your items, for the janitors who clean your kids school, etc??? I mean there will always be people that make low wages so I'm not understanding why people are going on and on about nanny wages.


Do you really think the walmart managers screamed
for equal rights for themselves?
No, that was your kind who did that.

Now you need to put your money where your (big) mouth is,
and treat your nanny accordingly.

Otherwise, feminism is in fact only for
RICH white women, rather than ALL women.




Yeah and you aren't screaming for it either. I'm not white FYI and I don't have a nanny either. But please stop with the fake outrage. I bet the low wages that waitresses make, won't stop yo from eating out.

Wait staff wages are only low if *you* fail to tip them.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2015 16:08     Subject: How far should we "Lean In?"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you also feel the same concern for the cashier at walmart who rings up your items, for the janitors who clean your kids school, etc??? I mean there will always be people that make low wages so I'm not understanding why people are going on and on about nanny wages.


Do you really think the walmart managers screamed
for equal rights for themselves?
No, that was your kind who did that.

Now you need to put your money where your (big) mouth is,
and treat your nanny accordingly.

Otherwise, feminism is in fact only for
RICH white women, rather than ALL women.




Yeah and you aren't screaming for it either. I'm not white FYI and I don't have a nanny either. But please stop with the fake outrage. I bet the low wages that waitresses make, won't stop yo from eating out.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2015 15:52     Subject: How far should we "Lean In?"
Anonymous wrote:Do you also feel the same concern for the cashier at walmart who rings up your items, for the janitors who clean your kids school, etc??? I mean there will always be people that make low wages so I'm not understanding why people are going on and on about nanny wages.

Do you really think the walmart managers screamed
for equal rights for themselves?
No, that was your kind who did that.

Now you need to put your money where your (big) mouth is,
and treat your nanny accordingly.

Otherwise, feminism is in fact only for
RICH white women, rather than ALL women.


Anonymous
Post 05/06/2015 15:43     Subject: How far should we "Lean In?"
Do you also feel the same concern for the cashier at walmart who rings up your items, for the janitors who clean your kids school, etc??? I mean there will always be people that make low wages so I'm not understanding why people are going on and on about nanny wages.
Anonymous
Post 05/06/2015 15:40     Subject: How far should we "Lean In?"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's a debate that only the well-educated can afford to have.

While professional women engage in hand-wringing about whether they're "leaning in" enough, they don't stop to consider that for the nanny they employ, no amount of leaning in on her behalf will ever lead to a discernible increase in her salary/ benefits/ prestige.

Leaning in only considers the concerns of the professional class.


Truth.

I also agree. It's part of the "feminist" mantra: I want MY rights on the job, but the hell with my domestic workers hidden behind my closed doors.


My "domestic worker" was able to finance a mortgage based solely on her salary working for us. We paid $300 every month for her healthcare premiums. How is that to hell with my domestic worker? She barely graduated from high school and made close to 50K a year.

Good for you and her that you paid her about $25/hour, plus benefits. That's a fair wage in exchange for what she provides for you.

Are you aware of the fact that most nannies in this area don't even earn enough to rent out their own bedroom, let alone an apartment, and are forced to live with a partner and share a bedroom, or "live-in" their jobs and never get to go home to their own place for some peace and quiet?

It's really rather shameful the way most parents take advantage of their nannies.



That is completely inapplicable to me and to my friends who have nannies.

It'd be mighty interesting to hear what the nannies are saying about you and your friends.
You'd be surprised!