Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Give all these seniors some credit - btw 60's in no longer considered that old.

Then let them get jobs and work for what they want.

Guess you don't like your parents either ...and I'm pretty sure OP said her FIL is a lawyer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:* so hard?

I really think you might have abandonment issues. You are a former widow - right?

You are very manipulative. Are you op's dh?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Give all these seniors some credit - btw 60's in no longer considered that old.

Then let them get jobs and work for what they want.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You know I would if I could. I talked to my parents. We had a NORMAL adult relationship. They are now both deceased and never in a million years would they have taken advantage on me. Let's flip the coin, if you have children, would you screw them over ?

It's not that they're planning to take advantage. It's just that things don't always turn out as expected. It's very, very hard for some older people to accept that they won't always be healthy, or that they can't have the standard of living they were expecting. OP's in-laws are not being realistic about either of those things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ps

"Maybe he feels like he should return what they gave to him. IDK yet. "


Yeah, um that is really a reasonable philosophy. Kids owe their parents for doing the job of parenting. Right.

Wow. You hate your parents huh...

OP maybe he just loves his parents and wants them to feel secure. Maybe this is a way for them to pass some wealth without taxes. If they are putting up the down payment and paying the mortgage thru the rent, then until/ if something goes wrong you have to take over. Yes, there will be taxes but you could draw up an agreement to be gifted annually the extra amount. Although you will have the extra mortage on your credit, if it's paid in time and your debt load is low hiw us that a negative? They aren't starting out with NOTHING down, you should be able to sell if you need to.

This is family. You have two kids with this man, unless there are other serious issues, it doesn't sound like you are headed to divorce. You knew he's in dreamland but you let him manage your investments? Maybe this isn't as bad as your emotions have lead you to believe.

Your post doesn't make sense. How is this a way for them to pass wealth? In what world is it a good idea to take on debt for other able bodied adults. Are you op's husband? It is disingenuous to imply that emotions are causing op to reject this ridiculous proposal. Op's rational brain knows this is ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

You know I would if I could. I talked to my parents. We had a NORMAL adult relationship. They are now both deceased and never in a million years would they have taken advantage on me. Let's flip the coin, if you have children, would you screw them over ?

Anonymous wrote:
Give all these seniors some credit - btw 60's in no longer considered that old.

Anonymous wrote:* so hard?

I really think you might have abandonment issues. You are a former widow - right?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ps

"Maybe he feels like he should return what they gave to him. IDK yet. "


Yeah, um that is really a reasonable philosophy. Kids owe their parents for doing the job of parenting. Right.

Wow. You hate your parents huh...

OP maybe he just loves his parents and wants them to feel secure. Maybe this is a way for them to pass some wealth without taxes. If they are putting up the down payment and paying the mortgage thru the rent, then until/ if something goes wrong you have to take over. Yes, there will be taxes but you could draw up an agreement to be gifted annually the extra amount. Although you will have the extra mortage on your credit, if it's paid in time and your debt load is low hiw us that a negative? They aren't starting out with NOTHING down, you should be able to sell if you need to.

This is family. You have two kids with this man, unless there are other serious issues, it doesn't sound like you are headed to divorce. You knew he's in dreamland but you let him manage your investments? Maybe this isn't as bad as your emotions have lead you to believe.

Your post doesn't make sense. How is this a way for them to pass wealth? In what world is it a good idea to take on debt for other able bodied adults. Are you op's husband? It is disingenuous to imply that emotions are causing op to reject this ridiculous proposal. Op's rational brain knows this is ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ps

"Maybe he feels like he should return what they gave to him. IDK yet. "


Yeah, um that is really a reasonable philosophy. Kids owe their parents for doing the job of parenting. Right.

Wow. You hate your parents huh...

OP maybe he just loves his parents and wants them to feel secure. Maybe this is a way for them to pass some wealth without taxes. If they are putting up the down payment and paying the mortgage thru the rent, then until/ if something goes wrong you have to take over. Yes, there will be taxes but you could draw up an agreement to be gifted annually the extra amount. Although you will have the extra mortage on your credit, if it's paid in time and your debt load is low hiw us that a negative? They aren't starting out with NOTHING down, you should be able to sell if you need to.

This is family. You have two kids with this man, unless there are other serious issues, it doesn't sound like you are headed to divorce. You knew he's in dreamland but you let him manage your investments? Maybe this isn't as bad as your emotions have lead you to believe.

Please don't take financial advice from this person.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ps

"Maybe he feels like he should return what they gave to him. IDK yet. "


Yeah, um that is really a reasonable philosophy. Kids owe their parents for doing the job of parenting. Right.

Wow. You hate your parents huh...

OP maybe he just loves his parents and wants them to feel secure. Maybe this is a way for them to pass some wealth without taxes. If they are putting up the down payment and paying the mortgage thru the rent, then until/ if something goes wrong you have to take over. Yes, there will be taxes but you could draw up an agreement to be gifted annually the extra amount. Although you will have the extra mortage on your credit, if it's paid in time and your debt load is low hiw us that a negative? They aren't starting out with NOTHING down, you should be able to sell if you need to.

This is family. You have two kids with this man, unless there are other serious issues, it doesn't sound like you are headed to divorce. You knew he's in dreamland but you let him manage your investments? Maybe this isn't as bad as your emotions have lead you to believe.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All I can think of is your DH thinks that ANY house he buys here will surely appreciate and then he will have the money.
I know someone who did what your DH is proposing. the DW was the breadwinner and her DH talked her into buying a home with his sister. Why ? It never made sense. She was young and made a high salary by working all the time. SIL basically forced the sale of the house to get "her" equity out, forced DH and DW to buy another home at the top of the market after they lived there for 5 years. It was a disaster. Sister's DH said "It was that or goodbye to sister, so I chose that" they lost their shirts on that deal. And it was "family" I think keeping family together means acting responsibly by not getting into situations like this one.

I would never enter into any agreement like this with a sibling. Parents are another story. I thinks it's really amazing that most of these posters think their parents will cheat them or be nightmare tenants. This is crazy talk. These posters must have had just the worst parents, it's a wonder they were even able to go to college and have careers. Gee, I wonder if their did something right in instilling that desire ?

Give all these seniors some credit - btw 60's in no longer considered that old.

In the interests of finding out the truth, I think YOU, pp, should go ahead and buy your responsible parents a house and report to us how it works out, k?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We paid off our first home in 10 years. While house hunting for our next home, out of the blue, DH mentioned that we need to buy a house with an MIL suite for his mother to live in someday.

I nearly fell over in shock and told him he was out of his mind. He pouted for a while, but got over it.

His sister ended up buying a house with an MIL suite.

That's a nice outcome for you.
How did the sister's husband feel about this, I wonder?

BIL went along with it to keep peace in the family. 12 years later he dumped DH's sister and 3 kids for his "soul mate" co-worker. Very bitter divorce. DH's sister was outraged when she had to get a job. There are multiple divorces in DH's family.

They might not have divorced had you not dumped MIL on them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks all. OP here. What I find interesting is that it doesn't seem clear to me how DH benefits unless he does want to "save" his parents and he is not being totally forthright with me as to their need. He tells me that they have a net worth, not debt. I know their house would sell for 200K and saw FIL's 410K statement: 500K.

I think last pp has a great idea. Stick to the fact that I don't want more debt and since they don't either, how can he counter argue. We'll see how it goes. He's pouting today.

OP perhaps he is planning to divorce you and move into his parents house while requiring you to keep on paying for it? In some areas it is impossible to evict a person, so he just goes and lives there, while you pay for all of them? I think scenarios like this should be going through your mind b/c this is the most screwed up complicated way to "help" his parents. usually that means help himself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We paid off our first home in 10 years. While house hunting for our next home, out of the blue, DH mentioned that we need to buy a house with an MIL suite for his mother to live in someday.

I nearly fell over in shock and told him he was out of his mind. He pouted for a while, but got over it.

His sister ended up buying a house with an MIL suite.

That's a nice outcome for you.
How did the sister's husband feel about this, I wonder?

BIL went along with it to keep peace in the family. 12 years later he dumped DH's sister and 3 kids for his "soul mate" co-worker. Very bitter divorce. DH's sister was outraged when she had to get a job. There are multiple divorces in DH's family.

They might not have divorced had you not dumped MIL on them.