Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually consummating an affair is one thing. How many women and men for that matter feel safe pursuing the "virtual affair?"
This could be chat rooms, blogs, etc. Where is the line?

Is this "virtual affair" cheating?

If you never intend to consummate the affair and you are chatting in a chat room (not even sharing your thoughts but just virtual sex), you do not know each other's identity, you do not know what the other person looks like (except body parts) - is this an affair or an interactive erotic book that you are reading?

You have justified it in your mind already. Clearly. You could also be led blindly into a gang bang. Is it better because you can't see their face? Not that I'm judging the act, the reasoning is silly to me though.

The line starts in your mind, and your heart.

I am a woman who will likely cheat in the future. No immediate opportunities but will be on the lookout.

Today is "have sex with a man with a mustache day."

This thread is about to explode.

Anonymous wrote:Actually consummating an affair is one thing. How many women and men for that matter feel safe pursuing the "virtual affair?"
This could be chat rooms, blogs, etc. Where is the line?

Is this "virtual affair" cheating?

If you never intend to consummate the affair and you are chatting in a chat room (not even sharing your thoughts but just virtual sex), you do not know each other's identity, you do not know what the other person looks like (except body parts) - is this an affair or an interactive erotic book that you are reading?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not a PP who bashed others, but seriously, the one about having sex but that first time was "totally an accident" was just so laughable she deserved to be ridiculed.

Oh good lord. I am the poster who wrote that. What I meant was that it wasn't premeditated and we didn't do it again until I was separated. We hadn't been physical until that point and I didn't see him until I came clean with my ex-husband and separated from him. I didn't mean "Oops, I totally fell on his penis! How did that happen!"

Anonymous wrote:Not a PP who bashed others, but seriously, the one about having sex but that first time was "totally an accident" was just so laughable she deserved to be ridiculed.

Oh good lord. I am the poster who wrote that. What I meant was that it wasn't premeditated and we didn't do it again until I was separated. We hadn't been physical until that point and I didn't see him until I came clean with my ex-husband and separated from him. I didn't mean "Oops, I totally fell on his penis! How did that happen!"

Not a PP who bashed others, but seriously, the one about having sex but that first time was "totally an accident" was just so laughable she deserved to be ridiculed.

Actually consummating an affair is one thing. How many women and men for that matter feel safe pursuing the "virtual affair?"

This could be chat rooms, blogs, etc. Where is the line?

Is open marriage really even a "thing?"Sounds like it's just cheating amongst shallow people, self-absorbed people.

Anonymous wrote:If a woman demands the marriage that the marriage be open -or else she will leave the husband, how is that viewed?Is it better than cheating? What does that say about husband if he agrees, but is not into it. And, no,I am not making this up. Apparently happened- with an eventual bad outcome -of course.

It's better than cheating, but it's probably going to end in disaster in most cases. If one spouse goes along with it because they feel coerced, the marriage is probably toast.

If a woman demands the marriage that the marriage be open -or else she will leave the husband, how is that viewed?Is it better than cheating? What does that say about husband if he agrees, but is not into it. And, no,I am not making this up. Apparently happened- with an eventual bad outcome -of course.

I think the hostility comes because we want to believe the adage that "cheaters never prosper." We want to believe that life is some morality play where wrongdoers are on the receiving end of justice. When confronted with evidence that this isn't how the world works, we feel like chumps for following the rules.