OP, another voice to say hang in there. My DD (now 16 months) was doing the same thing and we went through the same medical rounds -- ped, Sondheimer at Gtown and the feeding clinic at Children's. We did not like Sondheimer at all -- she basically made us feel like it was all our fault -- but she did recommend the switch to Pediasure, which helped to start some weight gain. Our ped got us into Children's and we found the clinic coordinator there -- a nurse practitioner -- to be much more helpful and reassuring. She prescribed Prevacid, which has done nothing, but also made some good suggestions about changing up the schedule to try and help her come to meals hungry. (She was on solids by then, but the majority of the time refused to eat more than a bite or two.)

Two things I am hoping it will help you to hear:

1) five months on from our first visit to Children's, things look and feel much better. She is still getting at least half of her calories from pediasure, but both bottles and meals have become far less of a battle. (It helped, I think, when she learned to hold her own bottle, around a year -- an independence thing I guess.) She is around 20th percentile and is eating more like a normal toddler -- some meals are terrible, but some are okay.

2) like you, I was in tears pretty much all the time. I finally decided to try an antidepressant, and it has been incredibly helpful. I think perhaps it was delayed postpartum depression, which had been lurking in the background until the feeding issues sent me over the edge. Whatever the science, the drug (I have Wellbutrin) has helped me feel like myself again and not a weepy mess obsessing over DD's eating and weight.

Anyway, you are not alone. And it will get better.

Anonymous wrote:You should seriously look into donor milk or re-lactation if your DD was doing okay when she was nursing. How can you completely write off those options when she is actively starving to death?

You are a worthless sack of shit and I really hope your breasts fall off.

This thread is so heartbreaking, and I totally relate as someone who had feeding issues with my DD. I sincerely hope things are improving and hope OP got her baby in with a good GI doc/ENT/speech pathologist/whatever so she can get some serious help. OP, if you are still reading, be very assertive with the doctors. Don't let them tell you everything is okay when you know it's not. My pediatrician basically thought I was nuts and then told me may DD was developing infant anorexia (I had no idea that existed before having DD) and that basically my stress was causing the problems. Pediatrician was completely wrong - we finally found someone who noted DD's tongue tie, we fixed that, and DD was 90% better. Sometimes, doctors can't see the forest for the trees and dismiss sometimes obvious issues and it extremely frustrating to say the least.

You can also try care.com to find a nanny. I also had luck with 4nannies.com in the past as well.

Most of us are really on your side. Please ignore the negative comments the best you can. I will send some prayers and positive vibes your way. Please update when you have time.

Anonymous wrote:Not OP. OP's baby it seems is on elecare due to a possible milk protein allergy so OP can't possibly try new formulas. Mine was on nutramigen so I know how tough it can be. Also to the PP who suggested relactating way to go to make the OP feel guilty. Also do you know how hard it is to find allergen free BM, possibly for a long period.
OP is struggling as is without a nanny and with so much effort to feed her child, to try and add another layer of complexity would he foolish.

Unless it took care of the problem.

Not OP. OP's baby it seems is on elecare due to a possible milk protein allergy so OP can't possibly try new formulas. Mine was on nutramigen so I know how tough it can be. Also to the PP who suggested relactating way to go to make the OP feel guilty. Also do you know how hard it is to find allergen free BM, possibly for a long period.
OP is struggling as is without a nanny and with so much effort to feed her child, to try and add another layer of complexity would he foolish.

You should seriously look into donor milk or re-lactation if your DD was doing okay when she was nursing. How can you completely write off those options when she is actively starving to death?

Anonymous wrote:OP. To add, This is just a vent. My friend visited yesterday and at the end of the short visit I was so close to tears. Her questions and comments went something like this...

Your 8 month old still does not say mama, dada, mine did all that. She has a one year old. Mine sleeps so sell from midnight to 10, then again from 10:30 to noon after nursing and then 5-7pm. You don't give any solids to your DD, see how thin she is, you are doing irreversible harm (but my DD keeps refusing the oatmeal, banana, sweet potato, avocado, squash I offer her). Well you need to add some spices and try harder. Your DD hasn't left the house and not met anyone in 8 mths other than the doctor and cries if a stranger even so much as touches her, you are raising a maladjusted kid. We have struggled and continue to do so without sleep training but ped and ped GI have said no sleep training since she is not doing well. And so the entire day is spent in either putting her to nap or doing nap extensions, or calming her 5-7 times a night and coaxing her to feed, then keeping her upright. Yours still does not sit up on her own or sit for long unsupported, nor does she crawl, oh my....and so on....

OP, hang in there. I would try different formula's and bottles. We had to try a dozen to find the right one and I cannot even tell you how many bottles. After about six months we had to find new bottles as they old ones were rejected. We ended up mixing the regular similac sensitive and the one with rice starch. We kept our kid on formula till 3.5 It was very hard and those mean comments don't help. I will never forget all the screaming. For us, it got better at 11 months. Mine did start puree young, at 4 months but could not do any solids until 11 months. Then at 1.5 the solid feeding hell started. Only recent at 4 is he branching out from his few foods. He went from the 3% to the 50-60% and is now healthy. I thought we'd never get off the formula. It was our lifesaver. We almost did a feeding clinic but the week before he started to eat a few more foods so they said don't bother as its ok. Its hard having "that" child. Mine slept from midnight to 10 too and I loved it. It worked great as I am a night owl. We later transitioned down to 9 PM. If it works for you, don't change a thing. Hang in there. Find a good GI and know it will get better.

I wanted to advise you to just keep this thread.
It will be easier to find.

Regarding to finding a nanny I found my positions on Craig's list.

You can also call the nursing department at NVCC and GMU and ask what's the procedure to post a job opening. They have boards and they send emails out to the students. I remember getting emails about positions taking care of elderly people who needed help getting around the house, etc.

I am one of the PPs who posted and I am sending you my best. Please do keep updating this thread whenever you can and I am sure other moms want to know as well how you are doing and also chime in with suggestions and responses. I know I have found many older threads useful and this thread may prove useful to other moms in the future.

Thank you so much for your kind offer of BM but I was on an elimination diet and now LO is on elecare. Consumption is still 12 oz with a lot of difficulty. We got an appt with Dr Sondheimer finally. I am sticking to the dr browns bottles due to the reflux but have tried the plastic one to encourage dd to hold it herself but she didn't want to.

My doula had mentioned baby wearing international and since I could not go, my DH had kindly obliged since it was on a weekday and a little closer to his work but they always have their meetups in MD. I will need to research how to transfer my membership to the one you mentioned in Lorton, PP. I have the Bjorn but I don't find that comfortable. I think I need to try one ASAP since that would really help. Will try out the beco butterfly mei tai and ergo if I can manage it this weekend. I think LO really needs to get outside and we need to make that happen. Her staying indoors all the time just saying us is not healthy all this time I know it.

Thanks for the recommendation for Virginia Pediatric and Adolescent Center. I switched docs within my practice and this one seems better and not as dismissive as the previous one.

Also to the PP who suggested to get a nursing student, how would one find that? Anyone else with suggestions to find a nanny other than on the nanny forum and care.com? I will be pursuing those options as well since we really really need someone soon.

Thank you all for sharing and giving your invaluable suggestions. I realize this thread has gotten really long so I will start a new one if I have additional questions.

Anonymous wrote:And on the nanny thing look for a nursing student. I was a PT nanny for an adoptive child who had feeding issues and a child with CP who was also with a gtube due to food aversion.

PS I was a nursing student.

And on the nanny thing look for a nursing student. I was a PT nanny for an adoptive child who had feeding issues and a child with CP who was also with a gtube due to food aversion.

Have you tried her to dry nurse on you? Does she take a pacifier?

Poor Baby and poor you - she was doing ok on breast milk? This is never going to work, but have you tried a different bottle for the formula? Could she associate the one you are using with pumped milk? I know - the problem is way worse I just wish I could help you. Is there somewhere I could donate my frozen milk for you to get it? I know you'd want it tested for everything, but I have a ton frozen and my dd refuses to take a bottle. Though you were on an elimination diet, right? I eat everything .