Anonymous
03/31/2014 11:56
Subject: Not sure I can handle another three years of husband's career
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:FSO here. You are making me cringe. I hope you are a troll and not a real trailing spouse. Look, Warsaw is great. Your husband is doing the best he can to get jobs that will work for your family. If he didn't get a handshake until - what did you say, third round - then he's not having an easy time. Stop with the all caps and the threats and the demands, and sit down and talk with your husband about how you two can make this worth.
I have been talking to my DH for 17 years, and all the time the "needs of the service" seem to trump my needs. I want to work, have a professional job, use my education. I don't want to be relegated to low paid Embassy jobs like the CLO. I am a professional woman, and I do not want to continually start over again and again. If I can't work, then at least I want to be at a post where I will be comfortable. My DH bid on two Washington jobs, one Germany and Poland as his top. He filled out the rest with basically fill space. He was given Poland, which I already told him ahead of time that I will not go there. He told me today that he took into consideration all of the family's needs, including mine, in putting the list together. I don't feel that way. I feel he could have a bit more backbone and do what his colleagues to who fight and argue for jobs based on what their spouses and kids needs. I know one of his colleague got Paris b/c her kid has "asthma" and another is staying in Washington because his kid has "ADHD." Well, maybe I should get a mental health diagnosis that keeps us here. My mental health issue is tired of the Foreign Service.
Sounds like it's time for a divorce. Are you two still in love despite these huge differences?
Anonymous
03/31/2014 11:51
Subject: Re:Not sure I can handle another three years of husband's career
When you marry someone in the Foreign Service, these assignments go with the territory.
I have zero sympathy with spouses who complain and whine about this aspect of the job. It is not dissimilar to spouses who complain about investment bankers working crazy hours ..... again it is the nature of the job.
All things to think about before you marry someone in these occupations not whine about it after the event.
I have zero sympathy with spouses who complain and whine about this aspect of the job. It is not dissimilar to spouses who complain about investment bankers working crazy hours ..... again it is the nature of the job.
All things to think about before you marry someone in these occupations not whine about it after the event.
Anonymous
03/31/2014 11:41
Subject: Not sure I can handle another three years of husband's career
Anonymous wrote:FSO here. You are making me cringe. I hope you are a troll and not a real trailing spouse. Look, Warsaw is great. Your husband is doing the best he can to get jobs that will work for your family. If he didn't get a handshake until - what did you say, third round - then he's not having an easy time. Stop with the all caps and the threats and the demands, and sit down and talk with your husband about how you two can make this worth.
I have been talking to my DH for 17 years, and all the time the "needs of the service" seem to trump my needs. I want to work, have a professional job, use my education. I don't want to be relegated to low paid Embassy jobs like the CLO. I am a professional woman, and I do not want to continually start over again and again. If I can't work, then at least I want to be at a post where I will be comfortable. My DH bid on two Washington jobs, one Germany and Poland as his top. He filled out the rest with basically fill space. He was given Poland, which I already told him ahead of time that I will not go there. He told me today that he took into consideration all of the family's needs, including mine, in putting the list together. I don't feel that way. I feel he could have a bit more backbone and do what his colleagues to who fight and argue for jobs based on what their spouses and kids needs. I know one of his colleague got Paris b/c her kid has "asthma" and another is staying in Washington because his kid has "ADHD." Well, maybe I should get a mental health diagnosis that keeps us here. My mental health issue is tired of the Foreign Service.
Anonymous
03/31/2014 11:39
Subject: Not sure I can handle another three years of husband's career
Hey, I'd kill for Poland! We're finishing out a tour we love (Panama) and heading to Delhi in August. I'm excited, but it sure isn't Europe! Hopefully we'll get there after Delhi. OP, I started off on your side, because this sure isn't an easy life sometimes. But when you said you're ditching out on Poland, you lost me. That's a good tour.
Anonymous
03/31/2014 11:32
Subject: Re:Not sure I can handle another three years of husband's career
OP, you are behaving like an entitled, self-absorbed wife.
I feel sorry for your husband who is trying to provide some financial stability for you and your family.
I feel sorry for your husband who is trying to provide some financial stability for you and your family.
Anonymous
03/31/2014 11:12
Subject: Not sure I can handle another three years of husband's career
Anonymous wrote:FSO here. You are making me cringe. I hope you are a troll and not a real trailing spouse. Look, Warsaw is great. Your husband is doing the best he can to get jobs that will work for your family. If he didn't get a handshake until - what did you say, third round - then he's not having an easy time. Stop with the all caps and the threats and the demands, and sit down and talk with your husband about how you two can make this worth.
Finally, somone who gets and understands the challenges of balancing work and family in the Foreign Service context. It appears OP either does not understand and appreciate this, or is so centered only on her own needs that she does not care.
Anonymous
03/30/2014 18:13
Subject: Not sure I can handle another three years of husband's career
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Over the course of three years, how much extra would your husband make at the hardship location vs. a cushy location.
And how much of a difference would those 3 years mean for your retirement (would his pension go up dramatically?).
Sorry, I'm not familiar with foreign service at all so I'm just trying to get a picture of this..
Poland is not a hardship post, but he would get an extrat 10 - 15 % language incentive pay, plus we could rent out our house for $2900 per month. There is also a tax free COLA.
How much extra would you net - total- over the course of 3 years?
Way too much money for a government employee.
FSOs are the most ridiculously entitled and spoiled government employees you will ever meet. This woman perfectly encapsulates their mentality.
What mskes you say "way too much for a government employee." I am an FSO. My base pay is 100K. I just completed four years in Russia. Because I speak fluent Russian I received a language incentive differential of 15%. Russisn is considered a hard language that the Department wants to encourage officers to develop and maintain. I also received 15% hardship differential. My net was about $100K. This does not include my income from renting my home in DC for $1595. This nets zero as it pays the mortgage. I work hard, like what I do and deserve every penny I earn.
You make waaaaaay more than your fellow government workers back in DC. You get per diem. Housing stipend while overseas, in addition to someone else covering your mortgage. Private school tuition for your children at the tune of $30k per year per child when overseas. Payment for your housing if you're in DC doing language training. And tons of other benefits not afforded to others.
Puh-leeze, tell us how you work so much harder than everyone else. For FSO, your base salary is just money in the bank. You quite literally have zero expenses.
Again, here's FSO entitlement on full display.
What per diem are you talking about? The only time I get per diem is when I am on official travel outside my post of assignment.
As for schooling and housing, the government has an obligation to provide secure and safe housing and that schooling that is at minimum equivalent to what we get here in a Fairfax County is available to our children. Payment for housing in language training depends on the length - long or short term training. I guess next we should pay our own language training tuition too? You're just jealous because you think someone is getting something you don't. That is entitlement.
Anonymous
03/30/2014 17:24
Subject: Not sure I can handle another three years of husband's career
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Over the course of three years, how much extra would your husband make at the hardship location vs. a cushy location.
And how much of a difference would those 3 years mean for your retirement (would his pension go up dramatically?).
Sorry, I'm not familiar with foreign service at all so I'm just trying to get a picture of this..
Poland is not a hardship post, but he would get an extrat 10 - 15 % language incentive pay, plus we could rent out our house for $2900 per month. There is also a tax free COLA.
How much extra would you net - total- over the course of 3 years?
Way too much money for a government employee.
FSOs are the most ridiculously entitled and spoiled government employees you will ever meet. This woman perfectly encapsulates their mentality.
What mskes you say "way too much for a government employee." I am an FSO. My base pay is 100K. I just completed four years in Russia. Because I speak fluent Russian I received a language incentive differential of 15%. Russisn is considered a hard language that the Department wants to encourage officers to develop and maintain. I also received 15% hardship differential. My net was about $100K. This does not include my income from renting my home in DC for $1595. This nets zero as it pays the mortgage. I work hard, like what I do and deserve every penny I earn.
You make waaaaaay more than your fellow government workers back in DC. You get per diem. Housing stipend while overseas, in addition to someone else covering your mortgage. Private school tuition for your children at the tune of $30k per year per child when overseas. Payment for your housing if you're in DC doing language training. And tons of other benefits not afforded to others.
Puh-leeze, tell us how you work so much harder than everyone else. For FSO, your base salary is just money in the bank. You quite literally have zero expenses.
Again, here's FSO entitlement on full display.
Anonymous
03/30/2014 17:19
Subject: Not sure I can handle another three years of husband's career
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Over the course of three years, how much extra would your husband make at the hardship location vs. a cushy location.
And how much of a difference would those 3 years mean for your retirement (would his pension go up dramatically?).
Sorry, I'm not familiar with foreign service at all so I'm just trying to get a picture of this..
Poland is not a hardship post, but he would get an extrat 10 - 15 % language incentive pay, plus we could rent out our house for $2900 per month. There is also a tax free COLA.
How much extra would you net - total- over the course of 3 years?
Way too much money for a government employee.
FSOs are the most ridiculously entitled and spoiled government employees you will ever meet. This woman perfectly encapsulates their mentality.
What mskes you say "way too much for a government employee." I am an FSO. My base pay is 100K. I just completed four years in Russia. Because I speak fluent Russian I received a language incentive differential of 15%. Russisn is considered a hard language that the Department wants to encourage officers to develop and maintain. I also received 15% hardship differential. My net was about $100K. This does not include my income from renting my home in DC for $1595. This nets zero as it pays the mortgage. I work hard, like what I do and deserve every penny I earn.
Anonymous
03/30/2014 16:01
Subject: Not sure I can handle another three years of husband's career
Warsaw is quite literally the most exciting major city in Europe right now. It's where Berlin was 10-15 years ago. Very cheap, HUGE art scene (people are decamping from Berlin to Warsaw due to risings costs and commodification of Berlin), amazingly cheap transit connections, and a positive forward looking population who are actually optimistic that their best days are ahead of them. On the whole, Europe is a slow dying continent. Poland is the exception.
Unfortunately, the OP is too entitled to realize how good she has it. Typical FSO garbage.
Unfortunately, the OP is too entitled to realize how good she has it. Typical FSO garbage.
Anonymous
03/30/2014 15:35
Subject: Not sure I can handle another three years of husband's career
FSO here. You are making me cringe. I hope you are a troll and not a real trailing spouse. Look, Warsaw is great. Your husband is doing the best he can to get jobs that will work for your family. If he didn't get a handshake until - what did you say, third round - then he's not having an easy time. Stop with the all caps and the threats and the demands, and sit down and talk with your husband about how you two can make this worth.
Anonymous
03/30/2014 15:17
Subject: Not sure I can handle another three years of husband's career
I just looked up Warsaw and it looks kinda cool!
Op, I wonder if you are frustrated by the power struggle you guys engaged in over the match. I think it is a frustrating dynamic, because it is his career, but affects your life so drastically. So clearly you should have say, but ultimately it's his career so he has more power - it must be tough.
Put aside all the arguing and just think about Warsaw itself. It sounds like kind of a cool opportunity.
That said, if you have a great job and life where you are living now and want to be apart or get divorced, well that's another matter.
Op, I wonder if you are frustrated by the power struggle you guys engaged in over the match. I think it is a frustrating dynamic, because it is his career, but affects your life so drastically. So clearly you should have say, but ultimately it's his career so he has more power - it must be tough.
Put aside all the arguing and just think about Warsaw itself. It sounds like kind of a cool opportunity.
That said, if you have a great job and life where you are living now and want to be apart or get divorced, well that's another matter.
Anonymous
03/30/2014 15:13
Subject: Not sure I can handle another three years of husband's career
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Over the course of three years, how much extra would your husband make at the hardship location vs. a cushy location.
And how much of a difference would those 3 years mean for your retirement (would his pension go up dramatically?).
Sorry, I'm not familiar with foreign service at all so I'm just trying to get a picture of this..
Poland is not a hardship post, but he would get an extrat 10 - 15 % language incentive pay, plus we could rent out our house for $2900 per month. There is also a tax free COLA.
How much extra would you net - total- over the course of 3 years?
Way too much money for a government employee.
FSOs are the most ridiculously entitled and spoiled government employees you will ever meet. This woman perfectly encapsulates their mentality.
That pretty much sums it up. The only ones who are worse are CIA. They make even more money, and really think they're God's gift as they're out there saving the world.
Anonymous
03/30/2014 14:52
Subject: Re:Not sure I can handle another three years of husband's career
I'll go! I'm a single mom and I'd love a chance to not have to work and take care of every single little thing all of the time. Sign me up! Being a single parent will be quite a shock when you are used to being taken care of.
Anonymous
03/30/2014 14:13
Subject: Not sure I can handle another three years of husband's career
Anonymous wrote:Warsaw is fabulous, Poland is so cultured. Krakow? So beautiful and sophisticated. You are close to so much. All of Europe is just a cheap plane flight away. The history of Poland alone is fascinating. This would be a wonderful post!
+1