Not rude at all! There's no rule that you have to have out candy for Halloween. Trick or treaters come to our neighborhood in cars from who knows where. I don't understand pps saying there's some expectation of reciprocity for giving/getting candy. Our neighborhood has plenty of older people, people who work late, etc., who don't give out candy on Halloween. No one cares!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think rude is the word. But it is definitely self-centered. Parents count on each other to make Halloween fun for the kids. A lot of parents don't take kids to houses of people they don't know so if other parents don't stay home, Halloween doesn't work.

What is self-centered is expecting that every house will have someone home to cater to your child's candy needs. So, how do you explain why you won't go knock on the door of an elderly lady versus another family's door? You expect that every house regardless of who lives there will be open to trick or treating? Your child can learn that people have other commitments and not to expect that every house is going to be available for them to get candy from. My husband and I rarely get to do things together with my son in the evenings because of our busy schedules. So, I'm supposed to explain to my son that we both won't go out trick or treating with him because one of us needs to stay home to give a snicker's bar to your kid? Come on...

Um, not that unreasonable. Plenty of us parents of 3-year old split the duties. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that *most* of us actually do, at least in neighborhoods where we know one another and don't want to be the assholes.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think rude is the word. But it is definitely self-centered. Parents count on each other to make Halloween fun for the kids. A lot of parents don't take kids to houses of people they don't know so if other parents don't stay home, Halloween doesn't work.

What is self-centered is expecting that every house will have someone home to cater to your child's candy needs. So, how do you explain why you won't go knock on the door of an elderly lady versus another family's door? You expect that every house regardless of who lives there will be open to trick or treating? Your child can learn that people have other commitments and not to expect that every house is going to be available for them to get candy from. My husband and I rarely get to do things together with my son in the evenings because of our busy schedules. So, I'm supposed to explain to my son that we both won't go out trick or treating with him because one of us needs to stay home to give a snicker's bar to your kid? Come on...

In our heavy-volume neighborhood it would be bad form. We always arrange to have someone handing out candy.

I don't think rude is the word. But it is definitely self-centered. Parents count on each other to make Halloween fun for the kids. A lot of parents don't take kids to houses of people they don't know so if other parents don't stay home, Halloween doesn't work.

It is insane to me that people would think it is rude for both parents to take their children trick or treating! Enjoy this time as a family. How about the 15 years before this that I handed out candy and never went out or the next 40 after my kids are grown? Plenty of people will be handing out candy-- no need to deprive yourselves of time together. Ignore the jerks that think it is rude.

Not rude at all. We plan to go and leave bowl out. As others have said, it won't be all night. Just 45 minutes or so.

We're both taking our kids together. Last year we did the same. The three years before that, we got ONE trick-or-treat-er, so I don't feel badly not being home. There are plently of houses in our neighborhood who don't have trick-or-treat aged kids and hand out candy.

For those of you who think its rude for both parents to go, do you also think it's rude to leave the house on halloween for any other reason? Skip halloeen parties, make sure not to go out of town? What if you just don't participate in halloween?

Sure, if no one stayed home it would be no fun, but there are PLENTY of houses. We skip half the ones with the lights on anyway, I never thought it was rude if someone's lights were off and they weren't home.

Eh, we leave a bowl and both take DS. At 4, he is still our miracle baby and I want to see his face light up when presented with candy bowls as he TnT. He won't want us to go with him in a few years. We are gone about 45 mins 6ish-645ish. He likes to "help" us hand out candy too. So after a trip around the block, we come back, take the bowl in and hand out candy until we run out.

No, you don't have to stay home. Don't plan your life around others' expectations. Many people who hand out candy don't have kids. I did for years before having kids. It is fun for people to hand out candy as well as collect. If you are unhappy doing either, don't do it.

Dang, I can't believe someone stole PP's bowl. That is just low!

What I love about Halloween is that it is a completely voluntary tradition yet many people still do it. More people particpate then vote! They open their doors to kids and give them a treat. Just because it is fun! But..if you have other plans or just don't care too no big deal. Do whatever works best..there is no penalty for running our early or not being there the whole time.

Anonymous wrote:OP here - would your response change to know that our end of the street usually gets very few trick-or-treaters? The last time we both stayed home all night our doorbell rang less than 5 times all night. Maybe this year will be a few more, but i dont think by much.

it does depend where you live. We only had 15 kids come last year. Our sub-division is all empty nesters.
We divide and conquer the rest of the neighborhood. But when the kids were little we went together, but note, that with only 15 kids - we could go together on our street and keep an eye on the house.

Is this something really worth getting spun up over?

Sometimes this place makes me laugh.
Our son is three-he has never trick or treated before. We've lived in this house for 10 years and have always handed out candy. This year, both my husband and I plan on taking son out-first time and all of that. I'm sure it will be less than 30 mins, and fairly early. So sure, our house will be candy-less for that time.
No bowl because the one year I did that (had just had foot surgery so getting up and down stairs was not easy or fast) the bowl was emptied after 10 mins. Filled it again, out in 20 mins. I'm all about participating but damn, I don't feel the need to supply 20 pieces of candy for each kid, which is what happened that year.

Being out of the house for one part of one Halloween doesn't give me guilt at all.