Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes you pay to be told what you want to hear.

And sometimes, you tell yourself what you want to hear.

I honestly don't understand why anyone who could afford private would send their kids to public. Growing up, I attended a parochial K-8, then the IB program of a "top" public and a private school. There is no question in my mind which was the best experience- not just academically, but all around.

Repeat: My public school is the best as many times as you need to until you bleive it. (Don't look at the college admissions from privates-- they all got in "somehow")

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes you pay to be told what you want to hear.

And sometimes, you tell yourself what you want to hear.

I honestly don't understand why anyone who could afford private would send their kids to public. Growing up, I attended a parochial K-8, then the IB program of a "top" public and a private school. There is no question in my mind which was the best experience- not just academically, but all around.

Anonymous wrote:

I went to Langley, pre TJ, when it was the top public in Virginia. It was okay. But with 550 kids in the class, there really isn't a community. Lots of cliques. Very little real adult supervision, certainly no mentors. Lots of kids fell into the wrong groups, and it did hurt them later. There was a group there, model UN, etc., who were mostly merit scholars, went to great colleges, and built solid lives after Langley, (my path) but most of the middle kids have not matched their parents. My family could afford private, but thought it elitist and not 'real world'. Spouses family had different views, and went to a top single sex school. So I acquiesced and did the Cathedral thing for our kids. If I had been given the choice again as a 9th grader, and I was but rejected it, I would have gone private.

My takeaway was really strong and self motivated kids will do equally well anywhere. The middle kids are advantaged by the private school attention, and there are a lot of adults watching their back, and classmates who will be friends for life, and the contacts often do matter. Life is 99% ties, and tiebreakers mean more today than ever before. I think for the kid whose parents who are working 80 hour weeks, and the kid who is bright, but not driven, they will wallow in public, and maybe get in with a not great crowd. Yes, elements of private are snooty, but for the most part, it is a sacrifice for most of the parents financially. I think for all but the absolutely shine rock stars (and there are VERY few of these) it is a good investment in building a young adult ready for the world.

The expense of private is indeed large, but my spouse and I concluded that the more important investment was in their teen years than a very expensive college. We are Episcopalians, but I love a quote from the Jesuits "Give me a child until he is 7, and he is mine for life". With inflation and all, maybe its 17 now, but these years, not the college years, are where their foundation is set.

I would do a top private and U Maryland over a public and Duke. I just think if money makes it an either/or, build the foundation while its still malleable.

Our oldest developed a deep and strong sense of service at his private school, and in what is heresy on DCUM, decided that service by the fortunate and strong to the unfortunate or weak is the highest calling. He is at a Service Academy now, and his college is 'free'.

If your kid is motivated, super bright, and knows 'who' he wants to be, public is fine. Very few kids fit this profile. All of the privates do a very good job helping kids on a personal basis find out who they are, and a basically good kid with strong adult figures in small classes is far less likely to fall into a bad crowd.

So you paid for a private school education at what I presume is StA to have your son enter a military academy and then be sent off to war? How does a kid fare at the academies after going to a posh private? Call me a crazy lib but I much sooner pay for a college education than put my child's life on the line.

I went to Langley, pre TJ, when it was the top public in Virginia. It was okay. But with 550 kids in the class, there really isn't a community. Lots of cliques. Very little real adult supervision, certainly no mentors. Lots of kids fell into the wrong groups, and it did hurt them later. There was a group there, model UN, etc., who were mostly merit scholars, went to great colleges, and built solid lives after Langley, (my path) but most of the middle kids have not matched their parents. My family could afford private, but thought it elitist and not 'real world'. Spouses family had different views, and went to a top single sex school. So I acquiesced and did the Cathedral thing for our kids. If I had been given the choice again as a 9th grader, and I was but rejected it, I would have gone private.

My takeaway was really strong and self motivated kids will do equally well anywhere. The middle kids are advantaged by the private school attention, and there are a lot of adults watching their back, and classmates who will be friends for life, and the contacts often do matter. Life is 99% ties, and tiebreakers mean more today than ever before. I think for the kid whose parents who are working 80 hour weeks, and the kid who is bright, but not driven, they will wallow in public, and maybe get in with a not great crowd. Yes, elements of private are snooty, but for the most part, it is a sacrifice for most of the parents financially. I think for all but the absolutely shine rock stars (and there are VERY few of these) it is a good investment in building a young adult ready for the world.

The expense of private is indeed large, but my spouse and I concluded that the more important investment was in their teen years than a very expensive college. We are Episcopalians, but I love a quote from the Jesuits "Give me a child until he is 7, and he is mine for life". With inflation and all, maybe its 17 now, but these years, not the college years, are where their foundation is set.

I would do a top private and U Maryland over a public and Duke. I just think if money makes it an either/or, build the foundation while its still malleable.

Our oldest developed a deep and strong sense of service at his private school, and in what is heresy on DCUM, decided that service by the fortunate and strong to the unfortunate or weak is the highest calling. He is at a Service Academy now, and his college is 'free'.

If your kid is motivated, super bright, and knows 'who' he wants to be, public is fine. Very few kids fit this profile. All of the privates do a very good job helping kids on a personal basis find out who they are, and a basically good kid with strong adult figures in small classes is far less likely to fall into a bad crowd.

Anonymous wrote:Peace of mind.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is in 8th in public and we have been touring privates for high school. They all want recommendations, esp. math, english and a counselor. Spoke to the counselor and she does not know who our kid is. Math teacher has 4 classes of about 30; same with English. This school also sends a lot of kids to TJ, and they are all going to want recommnedations also. I'm dreading this part of the admission process. So if you can afford it, I'd say one benefit of privates is smaller class sizes and the teachers will know who your kids are.

Yes. Related to this, I feel I know all of the kids in my kids' grade/class, and other parents know mine.

Anonymous wrote:Peace of mind.