Anonymous
Post 06/22/2013 17:10     Subject: What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?
Anonymous wrote:
Why do you regret it? It sounds like it ended well and there should be nothing to regret - you ended up friends, she introduced you to your wife, she was able to be at the wedding. Are you still in love with her? Did she fall in love with you? Are you still friends??


The main regret is sharing a place with them, given their volatile relationship. When I moved out, it was such a relief. She is the one who is more interested in the relationship, but I learned a lot from her (she is extremely smart). I have not talked to her for a long time, but she contacted dw two or three years ago and that is how I got to know how they were doing. Our paths have diverged and we live a thousand miles apart.

Anonymous
Post 06/22/2013 16:01     Subject: What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?
Anonymous wrote:Has anyone had an emotional affair and managed to work through it, hold onto a strong marriage, AND stay friends with their EA partner?


I worked through it, my husband and I made our marriage stronger, but it required me ending all contact with the EA partner. I miss him and wish him well but no, trying to remain friends with him wasn't good for either one of our marriages. I had to prioritize and I chose my husband and family.
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2013 13:10     Subject: What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?
Has anyone had an emotional affair and managed to work through it, hold onto a strong marriage, AND stay friends with their EA partner?
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2013 13:04     Subject: Re:What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?
See here's the thing about emotional affairs, there is a slippery slope you may be on and you don't realize it at the time. I had a professional relationship with a married man about a year ago that grew into a friendship in which we both developed feelings for one another. Did we intend to develop such a connection? No. It just happened over time when we both confided in one another. On my side, I thought I was helping a friend through a tough spot and I suppose he felt the same. We opened up and saw each other's vulnerabilities.

He was married and I was married. It got to a point I realized that our friendship was damaging our marriages instead of fixing them. I think he realized the same. We parted ways professionally as well as personally so the temptations were out of sight and mind. We cannot always control our feelings but we can control our actions.
Anonymous
Post 06/22/2013 12:10     Subject: What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Single men also have affairs with married women. What kind of men are they?


I had an ef with a married woman as a 28 yr old single man. It's the 1st serious 'relationship' after breaking up with my 1st girl friend seven years earlier.

She and I both arrived at this northern country just recently and she was my landlord. She was at a low point in her life, having just given up a promising career to follow her husband who was studying abroad. In the first few months, we were just friends. Though she offered to cook for me, I had no intention to start a romantic relationship with a married woman. However, her husband was always busy and they fought a lot, sometimes in front of me. I could see that she was lonely, and gradually I developed a feeling for her after several months. At first I was confused, I went to a library to look up this in books and suddenly I realized that I was in the middle of an affair.

Her husband probably knew of all this, but couldn't care less. But the life was becoming more difficult as they fought more often and she was more interested in a committed relationship. Eventually I moved out of their place after living with them for one year. We remained as best friends afterwards and after two years she introduced me to a woman who became my wife. She was the best woman at our wedding. They have three children and are still married today.

Do I regret it? Yes. But I was not a monster.



Why do you regret it? It sounds like it ended well and there should be nothing to regret - you ended up friends, she introduced you to your wife, she was able to be at the wedding. Are you still in love with her? Did she fall in love with you? Are you still friends??
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2013 21:30     Subject: What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?
Anonymous wrote:Single men also have affairs with married women. What kind of men are they?


I had an ef with a married woman as a 28 yr old single man. It's the 1st serious 'relationship' after breaking up with my 1st girl friend seven years earlier.

She and I both arrived at this northern country just recently and she was my landlord. She was at a low point in her life, having just given up a promising career to follow her husband who was studying abroad. In the first few months, we were just friends. Though she offered to cook for me, I had no intention to start a romantic relationship with a married woman. However, her husband was always busy and they fought a lot, sometimes in front of me. I could see that she was lonely, and gradually I developed a feeling for her after several months. At first I was confused, I went to a library to look up this in books and suddenly I realized that I was in the middle of an affair.

Her husband probably knew of all this, but couldn't care less. But the life was becoming more difficult as they fought more often and she was more interested in a committed relationship. Eventually I moved out of their place after living with them for one year. We remained as best friends afterwards and after two years she introduced me to a woman who became my wife. She was the best woman at our wedding. They have three children and are still married today.

Do I regret it? Yes. But I was not a monster.

Anonymous
Post 06/21/2013 21:17     Subject: Re:What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?
Woman here....

Monogamy is unnatural, which is why many people stray, even those you would never imagine...
I've become much more accepting to this phenomenon as I have grown older and wiser.
ALL types of GOOD people stray...
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2013 21:02     Subject: What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I tend only to blame the party who took the vows. He/is the one cheating, not necessarily their paramour.


That's fine, but that's not the point of the question.


Oh thank you. You do realize in the course of a thread like this other points get made though, right? Stop being such a glassbowl.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2013 18:54     Subject: What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?
Here's the issue I have with the term 'emotional affair'. Women use it so broadly, it's come to mean "no friendship with another woman without my approval. If I don't like her (name the reason, women have many), you can't be friends with her"

I have male friends. I've never broken up a marriage. I don't plan to. Some of them my husband is friends with, others he isn't. I'm always open to getting to know the wife, but most women just resent me because they didn't choose me as their friend first, their husbands did.

When my buddy divorced, he was surprised at how many men said to him "We can't be friends anymore; my wife says we can't as she's friends with your ex". I was not surprised, not at all.

Anonymous
Post 06/21/2013 18:14     Subject: What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?
I have never had an affair (physical or emotional) with anyone that was in a relationship. But I really despise how these conversations are always so focused on blaming "the other woman."

A woman who is knowingly "the other woman" has profound issues, but the blame chiefly rests on the cheating husband - in a significantly major way.

(or vice versa, if the genders are reversed - you get the idea)
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2013 18:11     Subject: What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Single men also have affairs with married women. What kind of men are they?


Men who are just looking for some action with no strings attached. Clearly, if she is already married, he can have sex with her and not have to "date" her. It's a FWB type of relationship.


Actually, you're wrong. I've seen single guys seriously fall for married women and have their hearts broken. It wasn't about having a no-strings-attached fuck buddy. It was an emotional attachment made by a single guy who would have liked to date the married woman if he could. This entire thread is just stupid. As though there is just a 'type' who behaves a certain way....
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2013 17:17     Subject: What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?
Anonymous wrote:I tend only to blame the party who took the vows. He/is the one cheating, not necessarily their paramour.


That's fine, but that's not the point of the question.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2013 17:15     Subject: Re:What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?
Anonymous wrote:Silly question - What "type of women?"................
There is no "type"...........
It happens for all kinds of reasons to all "types" of people.


Disagree. There is a type of women who seek out unavailable men. It's not a particularly healthy thing to do. I assume OP is not talking about women who date a man a couple of times and don't realize he is married; she is talking about the type of women who knowingly have an affair with a married man.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2013 16:09     Subject: What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?
I tend only to blame the party who took the vows. He/is the one cheating, not necessarily their paramour.
Anonymous
Post 06/21/2013 14:06     Subject: Re:What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?
Silly question - What "type of women?"................
There is no "type"...........
It happens for all kinds of reasons to all "types" of people.