Anonymous
Post 09/20/2012 09:03     Subject: Re:Men are only as Faithful as their Options
Anonymous wrote:80% of marriages have 1 spouse that cheat at some time during their marriage.
60% of men cheat
40% of women cheat
Obviously some marriages have 2 spouses that cheat.
Women are more likely to cheat when they are 28-35.

So not all men cheat - actually 40% don't - some because nobody offered it but mostly because they are just not cheaters - whether it is their make up, their morals, etc.

Non-cheaters don't cheat even if they are unhappy with their marriage.
Cheaters cheat even on wives they love even if they are in a fullfilling marriages.

72% of unicorns are pink, while 46% or leprechauns are twins, too.

Point being, unless you provide a sourse for these rather startling statistics, you're in the category of "making shit up as you go along."
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2012 08:57     Subject: Re:Men are only as Faithful as their Options
80% of marriages have 1 spouse that cheat at some time during their marriage.
60% of men cheat
40% of women cheat
Obviously some marriages have 2 spouses that cheat.
Women are more likely to cheat when they are 28-35.

So not all men cheat - actually 40% don't - some because nobody offered it but mostly because they are just not cheaters - whether it is their make up, their morals, etc.

Non-cheaters don't cheat even if they are unhappy with their marriage.
Cheaters cheat even on wives they love even if they are in a fullfilling marriages.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2012 08:55     Subject: Men are only as Faithful as their Options
PP, very true. I know other guys who when they were single would hit anyone who used the ladies room. Now that they are married, they don't care about screwing around-not worth the trouble.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2012 08:41     Subject: Men are only as Faithful as their Options
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think it is an insult to men to claim they will all cheat if given the opportunity.

And "all men are hard-wired for sex." So? Men are incapable of rising about their base animal instincts? Not true. People who have character and integrity don't cheat.


Thank you. Yes, at first I was mildly insulted that the overwhelming opinion is that the ONLY reason I don't cheat is that I don't have the opportunity to do so. Then I remembered that none of the women spouting off this nonsense know me, so there's no point being insulted. Plus, this most likely stems from some combination of (i) insecurity on their own relationships; (ii) gender one-upsmanship - we're better than you because WE don't act like this (though no one has explained just why this apparent phenomenon applies to men and not to women - are you just much more virtuous? moral? disciplined? what is it?); and (iii) rationalization - if your husband has cheated on you (or if you think he might), it's a lot easier to pass it off as some evolutionary hard-wired predilection common to all men than to accept that you chose a mate who is flawed.

I am not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, and I make no claims to having a perfect marriage. But I have to much respect for my wife, my kids, my committments, and myself to cheat on her. I'm not religious. but I believe in keeping my promises. If you all can't say that about your husbands, or yourselves, well, that sucks, and I'm sorry. But it's ridiculous to extrapolate that because your husbands have cheated, all men will. I get that's it's copmforting, but it's still ridiculous.


Exactly. My DH is a tremendous catch - successful, athletic, good-looking. Clearly the man has options. We have talked about this idea that all men cheat, and he finds that offensive. It is a slam on his character to allege that he cannot resist sex. We are happily married, and we have small children. He wants them to grow up in an intact family, and he wants us to grow old together. He has said that he is always focused on that goal. He is not going to trade his and his family's long-term happiness for an orgasm. There are a lot more men like him out there than people think.


I think the majority of men out there fit the description of your husband. It is just not newsworthy or scandalous so it doesn't get the attention as say an affair does. Say if 20% of marriages have a spouse (man or woman) that cheats (and personally I think this number is high), that means 80% (the vast majority) don't.

I also don't think cheating is a man thing. It takes two to tango. Women can have low moral standards as much as men. Cheating is a reflection of one's character or lack of it. It's not gender specific.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2012 08:33     Subject: Men are only as Faithful as their Options
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A man will always bang a woman if the right opportunity and circumstances arise. Simple as that. Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong. You can close the thread now.


I had the opportunity. I didn't "bang" her. It would have been great sex but the choice I made was the right one and has strengthened me. Sorry to spoil your rationalization, though you are free to do whatever you want. My religions, like most, recognize that we all have free will.


See, I think the virtuous man is the one who doesn't put himself in positions to have the opportunity. You may feel virtuous because you didn't have sex with her, but why did you have the opportunity to begin with?

Did you flirt with her?

Did you say things to her you would not want your wife to know?

Were you sending out signals to make her think you were interested just to get the gratification to know you could "bang" her if you wanted?

In my opinion, men who do these things are cheating on their wives and marriage. They are also hurting the woman they string along and their own moral character.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2012 08:26     Subject: Men are only as Faithful as their Options
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think it is an insult to men to claim they will all cheat if given the opportunity.

And "all men are hard-wired for sex." So? Men are incapable of rising about their base animal instincts? Not true. People who have character and integrity don't cheat.


Thank you. Yes, at first I was mildly insulted that the overwhelming opinion is that the ONLY reason I don't cheat is that I don't have the opportunity to do so. Then I remembered that none of the women spouting off this nonsense know me, so there's no point being insulted. Plus, this most likely stems from some combination of (i) insecurity on their own relationships; (ii) gender one-upsmanship - we're better than you because WE don't act like this (though no one has explained just why this apparent phenomenon applies to men and not to women - are you just much more virtuous? moral? disciplined? what is it?); and (iii) rationalization - if your husband has cheated on you (or if you think he might), it's a lot easier to pass it off as some evolutionary hard-wired predilection common to all men than to accept that you chose a mate who is flawed.

I am not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, and I make no claims to having a perfect marriage. But I have to much respect for my wife, my kids, my committments, and myself to cheat on her. I'm not religious. but I believe in keeping my promises. If you all can't say that about your husbands, or yourselves, well, that sucks, and I'm sorry. But it's ridiculous to extrapolate that because your husbands have cheated, all men will. I get that's it's copmforting, but it's still ridiculous.


Exactly. My DH is a tremendous catch - successful, athletic, good-looking. Clearly the man has options. We have talked about this idea that all men cheat, and he finds that offensive. It is a slam on his character to allege that he cannot resist sex. We are happily married, and we have small children. He wants them to grow up in an intact family, and he wants us to grow old together. He has said that he is always focused on that goal. He is not going to trade his and his family's long-term happiness for an orgasm. There are a lot more men like him out there than people think.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2012 08:11     Subject: Men are only as Faithful as their Options
Anonymous wrote:I think it is an insult to men to claim they will all cheat if given the opportunity.

And "all men are hard-wired for sex." So? Men are incapable of rising about their base animal instincts? Not true. People who have character and integrity don't cheat.


Thank you. Yes, at first I was mildly insulted that the overwhelming opinion is that the ONLY reason I don't cheat is that I don't have the opportunity to do so. Then I remembered that none of the women spouting off this nonsense know me, so there's no point being insulted. Plus, this most likely stems from some combination of (i) insecurity on their own relationships; (ii) gender one-upsmanship - we're better than you because WE don't act like this (though no one has explained just why this apparent phenomenon applies to men and not to women - are you just much more virtuous? moral? disciplined? what is it?); and (iii) rationalization - if your husband has cheated on you (or if you think he might), it's a lot easier to pass it off as some evolutionary hard-wired predilection common to all men than to accept that you chose a mate who is flawed.

I am not perfect, by any stretch of the imagination, and I make no claims to having a perfect marriage. But I have to much respect for my wife, my kids, my committments, and myself to cheat on her. I'm not religious. but I believe in keeping my promises. If you all can't say that about your husbands, or yourselves, well, that sucks, and I'm sorry. But it's ridiculous to extrapolate that because your husbands have cheated, all men will. I get that's it's copmforting, but it's still ridiculous.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2012 07:24     Subject: Re:Men are only as Faithful as their Options
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In the real world, what man seriously has the time to cheat? Between working 40-50 hours per week, the kids, yard work, etc. who the hell has the time and energy for that? A family man who has his priorities straight would never have the opportunity, desire, or energy for another woman. He would pour whatever he had in having sex with his wife. His wife is always there, a sure thing, and he doesn't have to date her.


Bill. Clinton.


I think most people would NOT categorize Bill Clinton as a family man who has his priorities straight.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2012 07:21     Subject: Men are only as Faithful as their Options
Anonymous wrote:Note the genders there?


Mom here that posted story about kids:

I think how they view right and wrong is a reflection of their character not necessarily gender. Even now that they are a few years older, my daughter makes better judgement calls. My son, will do things to the extent he thinks he can get away with it. My husband is like my daughter and there are things, like cheating, he just wouldn't consider because it is wrong. Doesn't matter if I catch him. His soul would know and feel guilty.

So, I think being faithful has a lot more to do with your character (female or male) than your options.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2012 01:36     Subject: Men are only as Faithful as their Options
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I agree with the basic premise of this thread. Cheating is not an option for me because as an underachieving slacker, what woman would be interested?


Don't sell yourself short, women love underachieving slackers.


Very true. The man then becomes a "project".


Best post so far.


No, just chicks with low self esteem. And most of their orgasms are faked.


Now you tell me.


I will tell ya. Oh you caught me! Yeah, in my teens and 20s when I wasn't as sure of myself I faked some orgasms. Lots of young women do.

It's why women's sexual peak doesn't line up with biology but instead with psychology. Women are most fertile when they are younger but spend a few hours on DCUM or any sex discussion site and it's really obvious, women in their 30s and 40s know what they want, how to ask for it, and how to have their needs met.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2012 23:23     Subject: Re:Men are only as Faithful as their Options
Anonymous wrote:In the real world, what man seriously has the time to cheat? Between working 40-50 hours per week, the kids, yard work, etc. who the hell has the time and energy for that? A family man who has his priorities straight would never have the opportunity, desire, or energy for another woman. He would pour whatever he had in having sex with his wife. His wife is always there, a sure thing, and he doesn't have to date her.


Bill. Clinton.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2012 23:21     Subject: Men are only as Faithful as their Options
Anonymous wrote:A man will always bang a woman if the right opportunity and circumstances arise. Simple as that. Anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong. You can close the thread now.


I had the opportunity. I didn't "bang" her. It would have been great sex but the choice I made was the right one and has strengthened me. Sorry to spoil your rationalization, though you are free to do whatever you want. My religions, like most, recognize that we all have free will.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2012 23:11     Subject: Men are only as Faithful as their Options
People cheat as a crutch in their relationships b/c they are not fully satisfied by spouse or as an excuse to leave relationship, or becuase they need to fill a void and they are afraid to leave, IMO....
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2012 23:09     Subject: Men are only as Faithful as their Options
Anonymous wrote:Note the genders there?


Anonymous
Post 09/19/2012 22:25     Subject: Men are only as Faithful as their Options
Note the genders there?