Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I think I get what OP was trying to say in 14:16. Its not neccessarily about the incident that occurred but about the white people's response vs. the black lady's response. I think it more speaks to the frame of mind that each of the people were in when they responded the way that they did. The white people in this story seem to be in a more easygoing non chalant frame of mind while the black lady was more tightly wound, if this makes any sense.

Well the white witnesses may have been more agitated if the bike repeatedly bumped them, too.

My thoughts exactly. Of course they didn't take it as seriously as the young lady did- they didn't have a bike on them.

Yes, but you have a lot of white people on her saying they wouldn't have taken it so hard either. You think we are all lying?

No, but I think it's a bit silly for you (or me) to comment on how we would have reacted when we weren't there, didn't witness it, and weren't actually the person it happened to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anybody watch reality TV? Real Housewives of ATL, Basketball Wives, The Apprentice, etc. I fear that young black women will think that this behavior is the norm. I'm an black man and I remember as a kid, teenager, and in college when black girls would brag about how bad they could "go off" on someone. It was like they were given respect for how angry they could get and how easily they could be brought into a loud confrontation.

That shit needs to change.

How often do you hear this from uneducated black women? Why are you basing your opinions of black women off of TV (which is all about the ratings), underclass black women and teens? Have you never seen a reality show where white women were "going off"? Perhaps your TV doesn't get VH1, MTV, etc.

It's about balance. There are lots of white people in lead roles on TV that exhibit normal behavior. The shows that I mentioned make up the bulk of black women in leading roles. Others are sprinkled throughout the channel guide in smaller roles.

This is the fault of black people? Are Asians also to blame for being underrepresented in the media? Is the whitewashing of movies that are meant to feature nonwhite characters the fault of nonwhite people?

Anonymous wrote:It's amusing that people are continuing the "white people are just happier than black people" meme without commenting on the whole suicide/depression/self-esteem/eating disorder issue. Which is a pretty big issue. Bigger than being upset at a dirty bike touching you, I believe.

On the other hand I actually keep wondering why people keep continuing on this side-note which really doesn't have much to do with the OP's question and the situation with the Metro.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there are a few things to take into account.

The bike wheel was obviously dirty. Who knows where the biker had been riding. The lady kept moving the wheel and the guy kept putting it back touching her. Personal space violation should not be tolerated.

I was always told that if your clothes are dirty, people will think you are dirty and disrespect you. Maybe she was concerned about this. There was a post a back in GP about how minority children are viewed differently when dressed down or having dirt on their clothes than white children http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/192529.page .

We can all agree that what he did was rude and gross. But it's still not a big deal until you throw the feeling of being disrespected into the mix. Maybe she was being disrespected and he wouldn't have done it to a white woman but who knows? She didn't know that and she overreacted.

What in the OP's story makes you think the woman overreacted?

(Different PP here) A few reasons:

1) She didn't say anything the first couple of times it happened, which, if I had been in her shoes, would have built my own internal anger level, leading to "passive aggressive" behavior (true, I am projecting from my own experience)
2) The language used by the OP to describe her reaction
3) The fact that other passengers chose to display sympathy to the biker. Which is quite rare - most people are often annoyed when people bring in bikes, especially when metro is crowded.

Why don't why we ask OP, who was there?

OP, what do you think would have happened if all races were reversed (black rider, white seating passenger, black passengers around)? and how does this link to your original question?

This goes to the "lack of benefit of the doubt" that many black people get. You are perpetrating this very thing. Without being a witness to the incident, you immediately side with the biker. This could have been the same with the Metro riders...they assumed the biker had an "angry black woman" on his hands and showed him sympathy.

Lots of interactions happen on the Metro and you usually aren't privy to all of the details. Perhaps these "witnesses" did not see the bike constantly hitting the woman's leg and only heard her when she told him to move it.

If the woman kept moving the bike so that he wouldn't hit her and the biker kept positioning himself in a way where the wheel would keep hitting her, his conduct was outrageous.

So she was fine to up the ante and say, "I am going to kick your bike"???? Man, no way. Don't understand this at all. Nuh uh. Nooo way.

It's amusing that people are continuing the "white people are just happier than black people" meme without commenting on the whole suicide/depression/self-esteem/eating disorder issue. Which is a pretty big issue. Bigger than being upset at a dirty bike touching you, I believe.

I still don't see how the OP's bike story shows white people are a happy group of people.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anybody watch reality TV? Real Housewives of ATL, Basketball Wives, The Apprentice, etc. I fear that young black women will think that this behavior is the norm. I'm an black man and I remember as a kid, teenager, and in college when black girls would brag about how bad they could "go off" on someone. It was like they were given respect for how angry they could get and how easily they could be brought into a loud confrontation.

That shit needs to change.

How often do you hear this from uneducated black women? Why are you basing your opinions of black women off of TV (which is all about the ratings), underclass black women and teens? Have you never seen a reality show where white women were "going off"? Perhaps your TV doesn't get VH1, MTV, etc.

It's about balance. There are lots of white people in lead roles on TV that exhibit normal behavior. The shows that I mentioned make up the bulk of black women in leading roles. Others are sprinkled throughout the channel guide in smaller roles.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I think I get what OP was trying to say in 14:16. Its not neccessarily about the incident that occurred but about the white people's response vs. the black lady's response. I think it more speaks to the frame of mind that each of the people were in when they responded the way that they did. The white people in this story seem to be in a more easygoing non chalant frame of mind while the black lady was more tightly wound, if this makes any sense.

Well the white witnesses may have been more agitated if the bike repeatedly bumped them, too.

My thoughts exactly. Of course they didn't take it as seriously as the young lady did- they didn't have a bike on them.

Yes, but you have a lot of white people on her saying they wouldn't have taken it so hard either. You think we are all lying?

Metro - rush hour --the guy was probably repositioning his bike each time b/c each time the doors open, people get in and out, and everybody has to readjust. He probably was trying to keep the bike in the least amount of space possible and it woudl be hard to make sure the bike didn't touch at least one person on all sides at any given point in time. It sounds like he honestly was trying his best, to this person who has been in this position only about a thousand times on crowded rush hours. And in this type of situation, if everyone is doign their best to occupy the least amount of space possible and it's hot and crowded and we all just have to be patient, if then a SEATED passenger got persnickety about someting -- whoa, I'd be like, "That chick is waaaaay over-reacting. Does she think everyone on here is having a picnic? No, we're all just doing our best and keeping quiet until we can mercifully get to our own stop and get off." Lordy lordy!!

One Black woman on a train filled with White people or were there other Black people on this train?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there are a few things to take into account.

The bike wheel was obviously dirty. Who knows where the biker had been riding. The lady kept moving the wheel and the guy kept putting it back touching her. Personal space violation should not be tolerated.

I was always told that if your clothes are dirty, people will think you are dirty and disrespect you. Maybe she was concerned about this. There was a post a back in GP about how minority children are viewed differently when dressed down or having dirt on their clothes than white children http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/192529.page .

We can all agree that what he did was rude and gross. But it's still not a big deal until you throw the feeling of being disrespected into the mix. Maybe she was being disrespected and he wouldn't have done it to a white woman but who knows? She didn't know that and she overreacted.

What in the OP's story makes you think the woman overreacted?

(Different PP here) A few reasons:

1) She didn't say anything the first couple of times it happened, which, if I had been in her shoes, would have built my own internal anger level, leading to "passive aggressive" behavior (true, I am projecting from my own experience)
2) The language used by the OP to describe her reaction
3) The fact that other passengers chose to display sympathy to the biker. Which is quite rare - most people are often annoyed when people bring in bikes, especially when metro is crowded.

Why don't why we ask OP, who was there?

OP, what do you think would have happened if all races were reversed (black rider, white seating passenger, black passengers around)? and how does this link to your original question?

This goes to the "lack of benefit of the doubt" that many black people get. You are perpetrating this very thing. Without being a witness to the incident, you immediately side with the biker. This could have been the same with the Metro riders...they assumed the biker had an "angry black woman" on his hands and showed him sympathy.

Lots of interactions happen on the Metro and you usually aren't privy to all of the details. Perhaps these "witnesses" did not see the bike constantly hitting the woman's leg and only heard her when she told him to move it.

If the woman kept moving the bike so that he wouldn't hit her and the biker kept positioning himself in a way where the wheel would keep hitting her, his conduct was outrageous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP here. I think I get what OP was trying to say in 14:16. Its not neccessarily about the incident that occurred but about the white people's response vs. the black lady's response. I think it more speaks to the frame of mind that each of the people were in when they responded the way that they did. The white people in this story seem to be in a more easygoing non chalant frame of mind while the black lady was more tightly wound, if this makes any sense.

Well the white witnesses may have been more agitated if the bike repeatedly bumped them, too.

My thoughts exactly. Of course they didn't take it as seriously as the young lady did- they didn't have a bike on them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there are a few things to take into account.

The bike wheel was obviously dirty. Who knows where the biker had been riding. The lady kept moving the wheel and the guy kept putting it back touching her. Personal space violation should not be tolerated.

I was always told that if your clothes are dirty, people will think you are dirty and disrespect you. Maybe she was concerned about this. There was a post a back in GP about how minority children are viewed differently when dressed down or having dirt on their clothes than white children http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/192529.page .

We can all agree that what he did was rude and gross. But it's still not a big deal until you throw the feeling of being disrespected into the mix. Maybe she was being disrespected and he wouldn't have done it to a white woman but who knows? She didn't know that and she overreacted.

What in the OP's story makes you think the woman overreacted?

The first time she spoke to the biker she spoke loudly enough to be heard by men across the isle and she threatened to kick the bike.

Are you the OP giving this information, first-hand? Also, speaking loud enough to be heard in the other aisle in Metro is not difficult. It does not constitute yelling. This guy kept positioning the bike in a way that resulted in it hitting the woman. He was being rude and was called on it. Are you equally confused when a kicked dog bites?

I'm not the OP. The OP said it was rush hour and if someone offered to switch seats then it was crowded enough that you would have to raise your voice to be widely heard. Look, I'm not saying the guy wasn't a dick. And I said that he deserved it. But you don't yell at someone just because they deserve it. If you want the guy to stop, getting pissy is probably not the best approach to take. OP herself, who I think says she is black, seems to take this example as consistent with what she sees at other times. White people seeming more chill than black people about some stuff, on average I assume she means. You can tell me that you would have reacted differently but I'm just saying, yeah, I'm white and I wouldn't have yelled.

Nor, however, in a million years would I have told the woman being hit to calm down or would I have bothered to come up to her after to say she shouldn't take it so hard.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black man here. OP, yes there is something that you can do to be happy like the white folks. Stop worrying about being disrespected. It's such an overused term in AA culture. People lose friendships, jobs, even kill over supposedly being disrespected. Does anyone even know what that means? Yes, people don't always treat you the way you want them to, but it's not usually out of disrespect.

Get to know people that you work with and let them get to know you. Remove the "weight of the world on your shoulders" look from your face. Smile...Sometimes you have to fake it to make it. Most of the white people I know have the same issues that I have. It's not important for me to let the world know.

But white people aren't happier, if you take depression rates, suicide rates, and eating disorder rates to mean anything. They just fake it better. So really, the only relevant way for OP to be more like white people is to fake being happy.

Yep. That's my point. Sometimes when you fake being happy, you find out that you don't have anything to be mad about, or you find things to be happy about that you didn't even know. It's a non-vicious cycle.

What are you talking about? They're faking being happy, but the rates for suicide, eating disorders, and depression are all very high. So they're not finding something to be happy about. They're just not showing others how much they need help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Black man here. OP, yes there is something that you can do to be happy like the white folks. Stop worrying about being disrespected. It's such an overused term in AA culture. People lose friendships, jobs, even kill over supposedly being disrespected. Does anyone even know what that means? Yes, people don't always treat you the way you want them to, but it's not usually out of disrespect.

Get to know people that you work with and let them get to know you. Remove the "weight of the world on your shoulders" look from your face. Smile...Sometimes you have to fake it to make it. Most of the white people I know have the same issues that I have. It's not important for me to let the world know.

PP, I love what you said. Thank you. I'm a white woman, and when I first read the subject of this thread, my immediate thought was "because we don't walk around with a chip on our shoulder all the time".

Neither do most black people. But you all enjoy using that line and it's your go-to when logic and deep thought fails you.