Anonymous wrote:You should serve corn.

5 kernels or 3?

OP here -

This started as an innocent question, but turned into an awesome thread.

Late to the thread here but am a die-hard advocate for ribboned asparagus and couldn't resist

e.g.


http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2011/05/ribboned-asparagus-salad-with-lemon/

Ribboning the spears defuses the fight over tops and bottoms before it even begins... And a little hollandaise never hurt, either.

I've been on vacation, I don't like asparagus, but I was curious. Thanks for making my day.

This is my favorite thread of all time.

Heh.

Anonymous wrote:

Why not make a huge friggin bowl of mashed potatoes and be done with it? Sheesh!

A. Because portion control guy from page 1 will make fun.
B. Potatoes are not a vegetable.
C. The children might launch a potato fight with spoons.

However--you know what I like in my mashed potatoes, to spice them up and give them texture and color?

Chunks of asparagus.

Potatoes are not a vegetable? How...

How dare you.

You guys are going about this all wrong. This isn't a portion-size question. This is a philosophical watershed moment. How many spears of asparagus ARE in a serving? How long is a piece of string (when wrapped around an asparagus serving)? If a bundle of asparagus falls in the forest and no one is around, should you eat it top first or bottom first? What if the color green I see in asparagus isn't the same color green YOU see in asparagus?

Woooooooaaahh..........

Anonymous wrote:

Best post ever. Really - ever. Better than the Applebees post.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What? No, 3 is not enough. At least 5. Better to have too much than too little.

... say the fat American.

you don't get fat by eating asparagus-5 medium width spears is ok

If it's a buffet, always let the vegetarians go first.

'course, you have to trust them not to be greedy ....

Why not make a huge friggin bowl of mashed potatoes and be done with it? Sheesh!

A. Because portion control guy from page 1 will make fun.
B. Potatoes are not a vegetable.
C. The children might launch a potato fight with spoons.

However--you know what I like in my mashed potatoes, to spice them up and give them texture and color?

Chunks of asparagus.

The answer is five.

Three for the children.

No one should cut them in half. (Or cut them at all.) Everyone knows they are properly eaten with your fingers.

Anonymous wrote:20:56 yet again. I feel like I should print your no asparagus, no peace one and hang it up atvwork and at home. As a reminder to keep perspective of just how ridiculous things in life can be..... Akin to the "don't sweat the small stuff" saying.

I guess I would credit the graphic to unknown, hilarious DCUMer.

Sadly, I am only an asparagus artist on DCUM. Otherwise, I'm a student.

20:56 yet again. I feel like I should print your no asparagus, no peace one and hang it up atvwork and at home. As a reminder to keep perspective of just how ridiculous things in life can be..... Akin to the "don't sweat the small stuff" saying.

I guess I would credit the graphic to unknown, hilarious DCUMer.