OP I became a new mom 4 months ago. I've never known this level of love and vulnerability. The fact that you're continuing to get through each one of these days is a testament to your strength of character and love for your daughter. Moms like you are the ones who show the rest of us how it's done. Much love to you and your family.

Dear OP, I have been following this for days now and haven't posted. I think of you often, more so now as i lay near my daughter as she goes to sleep Thinking that one never knows the future sorrows and I pray for you and your beautiful child. You are a courageous, loving mother. Bless you.

Anonymous wrote:Dear mother OP,
A thousand other mothers hearts bleed with you tonight.
We pray for you and with you.

And if I have ever crossed your path - i work at children's - I hope I have been kind and caring and open. And if I haven't, if I seemed rushed or harried or careless, I am so sorry. Sometimes I forget the mother on the other side of the bed could be me.

Thank you for that reminder tonight.

Oh goodness, this just pierced my heart. I am sure you have been kind and caring and open 99% of the time. If there was 1% that you weren't, that's just you being human.

OP, go to sleep tonight knowing that we are all cradling you like you wish you could cradle your daughter.

Geez, the heart, it weeps.

I am so sorry, OP. Your child is so lucky to have you.

Dear mother OP,
A thousand other mothers hearts bleed with you tonight.
We pray for you and with you.

And if I have ever crossed your path - i work at children's - I hope I have been kind and caring and open. And if I haven't, if I seemed rushed or harried or careless, I am so sorry. Sometimes I forget the mother on the other side of the bed could be me.

Thank you for that reminder tonight.

I keep returning to your post OP, praying somehow for a miracle for you. My heart breaks just reading how much love is coming to you from all over the city, country and the world.

I wish you and your daughter peace tonight.

OP, I wish I knew you so that I could be there for you and your family. Just know that we are out here thinking, praying, and hoping for peace and comfort. You sound so strong and you are surviving the impossible with grace and love. That is a testament to how wonderful of a mother you are.

OP here (again)

If this were a soap opera, I would swoop in just about now with a tidy summary of a clean ending to all of this.

But that doesn't happen. And of course I don't want it to; what mother would? The pain goes on, but so does the chance to comfort.

Yet I feel like making another deposit here since so many of you have generously taken your time to help out by posting even the most modest of tender replies.

My daughter is still with us. She is oblivious but breathes softly. Time passes while I caress and count the ceiling tiles.

That young nurse in those whimsical scrubs, brown hair caught up carelessly in a scrunchie, stops in to take vitals.

She pauses to say, "She's doing well, blood pressure good and heart rate and temp normal.", and I regard her. She, too, is someone else's daughter, deeply-loved I am sure. She took time out of her day to tell me this, unlike others before her who just routinely did their job without comment.

I smile and say, "Oh, OK, I appreciate that so much."

She is caught off-guard.

I continue, "You seem to know what you're doing, thank you for taking good care of my daughter.".

She is still unsure of my motive, but we share that moment. Every moment now seems like a microcosm, because it could be the last.

A helicopter lands overhead; someone else's heart-ache has just begun.

But you know what? I am actually feeling OK at the moment. I actually foresee being able to survive this.

Maybe it is self-indulgent to return to this oasis and pour out my thoughts yet again. Well, if it is, there you have it. I will do what it takes to take the next step.

Just read this original post -- my god, you and your daughter are both amazing lights in this world. Your daughter could be any of our daughters (or sons) -- and so you have me in tears. You are an incredible mother and always will be -- know that your daughter will pass in peace, safe and secure in that love. Though I don't know you, I wish I did. My heart and thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Anonymous wrote:OP, this site can bring out the ugliness of people, but if one fact is true, it is this: we are passionate people who unequivocally love our children. And, reading your original post, we relate: that could be me, and my child. And there's nothing that unites DCUM people more quickly, or strongly, than a message resonating such as yours. Walls down, issues and differences and bitterness aside, we're here to lend all of our support and prayers to you and your DC. Huge big (((((hugs))))) to you, this massive group of anonymous DCUMers are here to let you know that you're not alone. We're with you, every step of the way. May God bless you and your family.

Everything ^^ said. I couldn't say it better. Sending love and support from Panama. I am so so sorry for everything you and your daughter are going through.

OP, I am thinking about you. You and your daughter and the rest of your family are in my prayers.

Dear OP, I am so sorry.

OP,

Thank you for sharing your story and your daughter with us. I've thought of both of you often since you posted. I am glad to hear that she is more comfortable and hope for peace for both of you.

We lost our first child when she was just a baby and it was awful. Three and a half years later, there are some days when the grief recedes into the background, just barely there. And still some times when the grief hits me like a tidal wave, and all I can do is sit and abide with it. It is hard. Please be gentle on yourself in the coming weeks and months and even years.

OP, you have been on my mind every night when I go to bed and every morning when I wake up. I am hoping for peace for you and your daughter. xo

I woke up with you and your daughter on my mind. I hope you both had a restful night.