Anonymous
Post 01/05/2015 14:08     Subject: Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What if you are highly educated from top schools and choose to be a pilot, carpenter, plumber, electrician, work in construction? Do tell, what class are they?
working class.
Not professional class.
There is nobility, the ones from a long line of priveledge who inherit titles and are highly educaed, and the professional class. The rest are wanna-be's. Who think money alone makes them better, but have no refined manners or customs


Snob
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2015 14:04     Subject: Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
I grew up upper-middle-class, whereas my husband grew up very poor (despite his mother having a bachelors - she worked as a social worker). They had cars repossessed, we're almost evicted, and lived with his grandmother from the time he was eleven.

BUT while I floundered in school (I'm completing my back bachelors now), DH secured a prestigious internship during university and has been on a secure career track since graduating.

I see the manifestations of our differences in terms of money management and our social skills. Granted, my mother was a lobbyist, but I'm terrific at small talk and "schmoozing." DH not so much (but he's also an engineering type, so...). Furthermore, I see the elimination of debt as the highest priority and view money as a tool. He gets kind of freaked out when we have money talks and places high priority on "status symbols." Culturally, our families are worlds apart.

But we love each other and are committed to bridging these divides.
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2015 13:38     Subject: Re:Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Much like you OP I grew up a very privileged background. Everyone I knew went to college and usually had their masters at least. DH grew up in a very working class town. He says he remembers knowing from his earliest memories around age 5 that he was going to make it out of there. Most people there don't leave, including his 3 siblings. He worked very hard throughout hs to get a full scholarship to college, get a lot of play money from his aunt, joined a fraternity and saw his friends coming from a much better life. He knew he wanted that and was going to do anything to get it. I met him when he was already very established. He was friends with all people that grew up with a similar background to myself.

Sure there are some things that he looks at me like I am from another planet. Sometimes he can laugh about it, other times he seems horrified. When he left home about 20 years ago he really left that whole life behind and has very little interaction with his family still there because they have nothing in common. He considers his aunt his greatest inspiration (she made it out too and lives in Greenwich, CT) and she is more of a mother too him. So I don't really have to deal with the miserable sisters, who all resent me.

I have had some crazy stories happen though. When we got engaged and he bought me a 3 carat engagement ring, his mother asked if it was glass. When she found out that it was a diamond she went home, googled and approximate cost and decided if he had that type of money for a ring, she deserved some of it...

Long story short, I feel for you OP. I love my DH to death though and I think that our varied backgrounds will make our children more well rounded.


I respect people like this..



+1

Me, too. We are in a similar situation. The family gets REALLY ugly, under the premise that "they love (DH); they're family." BS. You abused him all his life and he is successful in spite of you, so back off. You are no longer dealing with him (the victim), you are dealing with me (no one's victim). No apologies here.

Anonymous
Post 01/05/2015 10:36     Subject: Re:Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
Anonymous wrote:Much like you OP I grew up a very privileged background. Everyone I knew went to college and usually had their masters at least. DH grew up in a very working class town. He says he remembers knowing from his earliest memories around age 5 that he was going to make it out of there. Most people there don't leave, including his 3 siblings. He worked very hard throughout hs to get a full scholarship to college, get a lot of play money from his aunt, joined a fraternity and saw his friends coming from a much better life. He knew he wanted that and was going to do anything to get it. I met him when he was already very established. He was friends with all people that grew up with a similar background to myself.

Sure there are some things that he looks at me like I am from another planet. Sometimes he can laugh about it, other times he seems horrified. When he left home about 20 years ago he really left that whole life behind and has very little interaction with his family still there because they have nothing in common. He considers his aunt his greatest inspiration (she made it out too and lives in Greenwich, CT) and she is more of a mother too him. So I don't really have to deal with the miserable sisters, who all resent me.

I have had some crazy stories happen though. When we got engaged and he bought me a 3 carat engagement ring, his mother asked if it was glass. When she found out that it was a diamond she went home, googled and approximate cost and decided if he had that type of money for a ring, she deserved some of it...

Long story short, I feel for you OP. I love my DH to death though and I think that our varied backgrounds will make our children more well rounded.


I respect people like this..
Anonymous
Post 01/05/2015 09:15     Subject: Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am a European who married an American, so in terms of level of education, culture, and civilization there was a significant gap. It is hard sometimes, but I committed to my own personal "mission civilisatrice".
And I have actually even found myself learning things from the natives here. Their simplicity, their devotion to their work, and their child-like belief in their God, etc.
So a significant socio-economic gap can be a benefit and offer learning opportunities from an anthropological perspective. I suggest you focus on this, and try to enjoy spending time with the lower classes in their natural habitat.


LOL. You are funny. Why do you hate us so much? We give your countries so much money. Man, it's like you're just using us.


The poster doesn't hate you and is not using you. However, you are providing another reason to make her LOL by not understanding her tongue in cheek comments. You are worthy of her mission to civilize The States. Perhaps developing a sense of humor could be a goal for you in 2015


PP was making a funny too. You're the one who failed, here.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2015 13:11     Subject: Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
Anonymous wrote:It seems to me that it can boil down to a level of education and intellectual curiousity. I wouldn't mind being being married to someone with a blue-collar job, but I would mind being married to someone who wasn't interested in history or politics or art.

The snobbery doesn't always run one way. As noted by some pps, many blue-collar types exhibit a type of "reverse snobbery." It would bother me if my significant other belittled things that I find interesting or otherwise care about, simply because he finds them to be "snobbish" or elitist.


This.

DH and I come from similar SES but the other differences are big. Both families are warm, wonderful people but extremely different and we reflect that. I like old houses, he likes new. He likes the predictability of chain restaurants, I can't stand them. I want to take the kids to Europe, he wants to take them to Disneyworld. So I'm not sure it has so much to do with money per se, but taste, experiences and interests. I pick my battles and hope that my kids will appreciate fine food, travel, history, art and architecture some day. DH is a good person and we're good for each other so these things don't matter in the big scheme of things, IMHO. I won the education battle and that's what matters most to me, the rest I can work with.

And about pilots falling under blue collar here. Only on DCUM. Most pilots have engineering degrees and many have Masters degrees as well.
Anonymous
Post 01/04/2015 10:17     Subject: Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am a European who married an American, so in terms of level of education, culture, and civilization there was a significant gap. It is hard sometimes, but I committed to my own personal "mission civilisatrice".
And I have actually even found myself learning things from the natives here. Their simplicity, their devotion to their work, and their child-like belief in their God, etc.
So a significant socio-economic gap can be a benefit and offer learning opportunities from an anthropological perspective. I suggest you focus on this, and try to enjoy spending time with the lower classes in their natural habitat.


LOL. You are funny. Why do you hate us so much? We give your countries so much money. Man, it's like you're just using us.


The poster doesn't hate you and is not using you. However, you are providing another reason to make her LOL by not understanding her tongue in cheek comments. You are worthy of her mission to civilize The States. Perhaps developing a sense of humor could be a goal for you in 2015
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2015 21:44     Subject: Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
I married a super rich guy and I was middle class. He's rich from family money which he doesn't actually use that much-also has a normal job-so until his parents come into the picture there's no big change
Anonymous
Post 01/03/2015 21:06     Subject: Did you marry significantly outside of your socio-economic class?
Taurus