DCUM Forum

Anonymous

06/02/2026 04:27 Subject: Re:If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People vastly underestimate the social and emotional benefits of going to school with kids in their neighborhood/community. The value of going to school with the same cohort over the years (especially in large schools where you have many options for friend groups) is enormous.

Private school kids may get a better education but many of them don't have the rich community that public school kids do. There's very little running to neighbors' houses and hanging out, biking together, spending long stretches together wandering through the neighborhood. In my Bethesda neighborhood, very few of the private school kids have this, or just with or or two kids. The kids in MCPS have been together since they were in elementary school and have strong social bonds.

Having a pack of friends from childhood through high school is a strong source of emotional health and stability and there is a huge amount of research on this. It's also what makes childhood and adolescence special. I don't see this with private school kids anywhere near as close as it with local publics.

Again. If your child is struggling in school most likely they are struggling elsewhere. They can make and keep friends in the neighborhood just fine. They can’t if they can’t function in school and MCPS doesn’t address it properly.

So that’s the argument for private some have.

still waiting for someone to explain how a private school can better address something like functioning in school? Do they actually have more teachers and specialized staff that can address these needs? Are these staff paid well or competitively enough to stay for a long time in the private setting? Or are you paying for the exclusivity of keeping out the riff raff kids so your child is less distracted? I went to parochial school in a different state and there were no special ed students or extra staff that could have even assisted in the role that a paraeducator would have in public school. This was 30+ years ago so I get that times have changed, but I am really curious about the OP's goal here? Does the average private school have the staff and capacity to assist high needs kids with IEPs or other issues actually learn better?

They address the bullies. Kids can’t learn if they don’t feel safe at school. If you really can’t think why anyone would prefer private then I’m sorry?

For me? I would TOTALLY pay for private - I taught recently in MCPS. I have many teacher colleagues that send their children to private. It shocked me at first, but now? After the pandemic? Absolutely schools are not the same. I’m now pursuing another field in graduate school after having left.

The schools are also not the same curriculum wise. Standards have fallen significantly. I can believe that private holds students to a high standard so education is actually a top priority at privates. Not just surviving the day with dozens of students distracting classes. I also don’t understand the math argument that well - I do agree it’s probably the one subject MCPS can easily provide the most resources for and can find specialized teachers - rather than science and even English (which is painstakingly difficult for many students). But….our test results are not that amazing overall. I mean look how colleges now are backtracking and reviewing admission standards because students from across the country are grade levels behind in math.

Class sizes will only continue to increase or stay large while specialized instruction will begins to decrease (looking at you regional model…)

Those are a couple answers. Some parents just want something that works better for their families. There are other answers. No one has to give you the perfect answer but private schools would not be in business if public schools were desirable to all families.

No they don’t.

Yes. They can. They have the ability to remove children that public school can’t. If they don’t, then it’s the wrong school culture. It’s on the parents to vet and put the pressure on then.

They respond if they are the right administrators - which parents can vet way more than they ever could at a public.

Public school and privates ALL have bullies. Because parents are bullies.

They can but they don’t. It depends on the family and their history and connections.

Anonymous

06/01/2026 12:19 Subject: If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

There's a pretty significant body of research demonstrating increased risk of poor mental health outcomes as the level of academic and social pressure increases. I'm paraphrasing, but that's the gist of it. We're avoiding W-schools in MCPS for this same reason.

Anonymous

06/01/2026 12:14 Subject: Re:If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

No they don’t.

Yes. They can. They have the ability to remove children that public school can’t. If they don’t, then it’s the wrong school culture. It’s on the parents to vet and put the pressure on then.

They respond if they are the right administrators - which parents can vet way more than they ever could at a public.

Public school and privates ALL have bullies. Because parents are bullies.

This is so true. Ironically I've seen a public where the Principal and VPs are lovely and wonderful humans and a private where a HOS is just not but down the line everyone was fabulous. But the private kids were overall way nicer. And public school leadership could do nothing to change conditions that lead kids to leave every year before completing the school. I think it comes down to parents who are bullies and/or morally vacuous and who replicate themselves in their kids.

Anonymous

06/01/2026 12:06 Subject: If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

The only couple of schools that are in the even 12k range are Catholic and I'm sure they're wonderful but my impression is that they really do want to keep their community multi-generational Catholic and I absolutely understand that.

Other than that, everything is at least $40k per year with fees etc. Many private schools are MUCH more expensive.

I've heard horror stories from kids at some of these schools. Though I'm sure there's a range. And overall likely way fewer severe and personally impactful aggressive behavior issues than MCPS.

MCPS really needs to get a handle on student behavior. It is completely out of control. I truly don't understand why nobody can do anything.

Anonymous

05/30/2026 12:49 Subject: Re:If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

I have worked in private schools my entire career, and although my children could have easily attended the schools I have been at, I intentionally placed them in non-W ones. They are now in college and beyond and it 100% was the best decision. What they gained in their education reached beyond the classroom walls. Yes, they had fantastic (and not-so fantastic) teachers and classes, but they also had friends from all walks of life. Friends who had been homeless, friends who were first-generation immigrants, friends with well-known parents, friends with more money than I will ever understand. Their schools introduced them to the harshest realities of the world and the pinnacles of success. And now, my kids are thriving. They are easily navigating life.

I’m not saying this is how all public kids will be, but so many students from private school have a tough time because of the insular world that is created for them. They are lead to believe they have control over the world and that’s just not the case.

My one caveat has always been, if you have a child who needs an environment that is smaller, quieter, or provides extra focus/supports, go private. The publics just aren’t staffed to do it. Otherwise, open your mind. Your kids will be better for it.

Anonymous

05/30/2026 12:42 Subject: If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Anonymous wrote:I’m generally curious why anyone would stay at MCPS for middle or high school with the budget cuts that are coming, along with the safety concerns in public and how they are handling things in general. The grade inflation is crazy and many kids can’t even pass their AP classes. I understand there are families who can’t afford it, but if you can, why wouldn’t you leave? I’m genuinely curious, not trying to be rude. Also if you are religious at all why wouldn’t you chose a parochial or Jewish school that are not that out of reach. I get paying 60k by why not 12k?

The budget cuts are needed. MCPS spends lavishly on all these boundary studies and programs that never go anywhere. They need to be reigned in, and part of that is understanding how to prioritize and budget. The county can't just keep raising taxes. The inflation is already bad enough.

Anonymous

05/30/2026 12:13 Subject: If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Anonymous wrote:We moved from an elite private school to MoCo schools. Personally, my child wanted (and we supported) a less 100% privileged environment. We appreciated the coddling when they were little, but have no interest in our kids going into their adulthood literally never having been friends with someone who needed free lunches or came from a non college educated family. No judgement to those who do private the whole way - great people and families. We just wanted different exposure a little younger than they did. These are people’s formative years and I wanted them broader experiences for my kids. We have never regretted the choice.

We plan to do the same. Kids will do late through middle school then move to mcps for high school. There are simply more opportunities with a larger student population. Yes that means there can be more problems also, but for us the cost/ benefit still favors Moco for high school.

Anonymous

05/30/2026 10:42 Subject: Re:If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Anonymous wrote:People vastly underestimate the social and emotional benefits of going to school with kids in their neighborhood/community. The value of going to school with the same cohort over the years (especially in large schools where you have many options for friend groups) is enormous.

Private school kids may get a better education but many of them don't have the rich community that public school kids do. There's very little running to neighbors' houses and hanging out, biking together, spending long stretches together wandering through the neighborhood. In my Bethesda neighborhood, very few of the private school kids have this, or just with or or two kids. The kids in MCPS have been together since they were in elementary school and have strong social bonds.

Having a pack of friends from childhood through high school is a strong source of emotional health and stability and there is a huge amount of research on this. It's also what makes childhood and adolescence special. I don't see this with private school kids anywhere near as close as it with local publics.

We are only staying for the social and community benefits as well. After a certain point you are kind of locked in and there's a cost (in addition to financial) to leaving.

When kids have been together for years they lose their community by moving to a private.

Anonymous

05/30/2026 10:29 Subject: If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Anonymous wrote:I hate the fact MCPS took away final exams. And the grade inflation is terrible

I do think this is terrible. Private high schools have final exams, just like colleges do. MCPS is missing an opportunity to help prepare students for college.

Anonymous

05/30/2026 10:26 Subject: Re:If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

I have a kid in private high school now and another child in MCPS elementary (switching younger one to private school next year for convenience only). Plenty of brilliant kids who will do well in life in MCPS because generally the teaching is good and the kids come from good homes. Not sure if all the issues MCPS is facing is worth paying $35-60k per year. Actually, it’s not worth it. My older ADHD kid just does better in the private school environment. For my youngest, MCPS was fantastic. For all of your issues with MCPS you could just pay to supplement for way lower than the cost of private school.

Anonymous

05/30/2026 07:37 Subject: Re:If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People vastly underestimate the social and emotional benefits of going to school with kids in their neighborhood/community. The value of going to school with the same cohort over the years (especially in large schools where you have many options for friend groups) is enormous.

Private school kids may get a better education but many of them don't have the rich community that public school kids do. There's very little running to neighbors' houses and hanging out, biking together, spending long stretches together wandering through the neighborhood. In my Bethesda neighborhood, very few of the private school kids have this, or just with or or two kids. The kids in MCPS have been together since they were in elementary school and have strong social bonds.

Having a pack of friends from childhood through high school is a strong source of emotional health and stability and there is a huge amount of research on this. It's also what makes childhood and adolescence special. I don't see this with private school kids anywhere near as close as it with local publics.

Again. If your child is struggling in school most likely they are struggling elsewhere. They can make and keep friends in the neighborhood just fine. They can’t if they can’t function in school and MCPS doesn’t address it properly.

So that’s the argument for private some have.

still waiting for someone to explain how a private school can better address something like functioning in school? Do they actually have more teachers and specialized staff that can address these needs? Are these staff paid well or competitively enough to stay for a long time in the private setting? Or are you paying for the exclusivity of keeping out the riff raff kids so your child is less distracted? I went to parochial school in a different state and there were no special ed students or extra staff that could have even assisted in the role that a paraeducator would have in public school. This was 30+ years ago so I get that times have changed, but I am really curious about the OP's goal here? Does the average private school have the staff and capacity to assist high needs kids with IEPs or other issues actually learn better?

They address the bullies. Kids can’t learn if they don’t feel safe at school. If you really can’t think why anyone would prefer private then I’m sorry?

For me? I would TOTALLY pay for private - I taught recently in MCPS. I have many teacher colleagues that send their children to private. It shocked me at first, but now? After the pandemic? Absolutely schools are not the same. I’m now pursuing another field in graduate school after having left.

The schools are also not the same curriculum wise. Standards have fallen significantly. I can believe that private holds students to a high standard so education is actually a top priority at privates. Not just surviving the day with dozens of students distracting classes. I also don’t understand the math argument that well - I do agree it’s probably the one subject MCPS can easily provide the most resources for and can find specialized teachers - rather than science and even English (which is painstakingly difficult for many students). But….our test results are not that amazing overall. I mean look how colleges now are backtracking and reviewing admission standards because students from across the country are grade levels behind in math.

Class sizes will only continue to increase or stay large while specialized instruction will begins to decrease (looking at you regional model…)

Those are a couple answers. Some parents just want something that works better for their families. There are other answers. No one has to give you the perfect answer but private schools would not be in business if public schools were desirable to all families.

No they don’t.

Anonymous

05/30/2026 07:08 Subject: If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m generally curious why anyone would stay at MCPS for middle or high school with the budget cuts that are coming, along with the safety concerns in public and how they are handling things in general. The grade inflation is crazy and many kids can’t even pass their AP classes. I understand there are families who can’t afford it, but if you can, why wouldn’t you leave? I’m genuinely curious, not trying to be rude. Also if you are religious at all why wouldn’t you chose a parochial or Jewish school that are not that out of reach. I get paying 60k by why not 12k?

Because I went to one and received a pretty mediocre education, especially in math and science. Why would I pay for that?

This is what no one ever wants to talk about.

Most people can’t afford an excellent private.

You won’t know a private is mediocre until your child attends and you can compare them to how a similarly aged cousin or neighbor is doing.

Anonymous

05/30/2026 06:58 Subject: If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

I really don’t have an extra $180k a year, so public school it is.

Anonymous

05/30/2026 06:48 Subject: Re:If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People vastly underestimate the social and emotional benefits of going to school with kids in their neighborhood/community. The value of going to school with the same cohort over the years (especially in large schools where you have many options for friend groups) is enormous.

Private school kids may get a better education but many of them don't have the rich community that public school kids do. There's very little running to neighbors' houses and hanging out, biking together, spending long stretches together wandering through the neighborhood. In my Bethesda neighborhood, very few of the private school kids have this, or just with or or two kids. The kids in MCPS have been together since they were in elementary school and have strong social bonds.

Having a pack of friends from childhood through high school is a strong source of emotional health and stability and there is a huge amount of research on this. It's also what makes childhood and adolescence special. I don't see this with private school kids anywhere near as close as it with local publics.

Again. If your child is struggling in school most likely they are struggling elsewhere. They can make and keep friends in the neighborhood just fine. They can’t if they can’t function in school and MCPS doesn’t address it properly.

So that’s the argument for private some have.

still waiting for someone to explain how a private school can better address something like functioning in school? Do they actually have more teachers and specialized staff that can address these needs? Are these staff paid well or competitively enough to stay for a long time in the private setting? Or are you paying for the exclusivity of keeping out the riff raff kids so your child is less distracted? I went to parochial school in a different state and there were no special ed students or extra staff that could have even assisted in the role that a paraeducator would have in public school. This was 30+ years ago so I get that times have changed, but I am really curious about the OP's goal here? Does the average private school have the staff and capacity to assist high needs kids with IEPs or other issues actually learn better?

They address the bullies. Kids can’t learn if they don’t feel safe at school. If you really can’t think why anyone would prefer private then I’m sorry?

For me? I would TOTALLY pay for private - I taught recently in MCPS. I have many teacher colleagues that send their children to private. It shocked me at first, but now? After the pandemic? Absolutely schools are not the same. I’m now pursuing another field in graduate school after having left.

The schools are also not the same curriculum wise. Standards have fallen significantly. I can believe that private holds students to a high standard so education is actually a top priority at privates. Not just surviving the day with dozens of students distracting classes. I also don’t understand the math argument that well - I do agree it’s probably the one subject MCPS can easily provide the most resources for and can find specialized teachers - rather than science and even English (which is painstakingly difficult for many students). But….our test results are not that amazing overall. I mean look how colleges now are backtracking and reviewing admission standards because students from across the country are grade levels behind in math.

Class sizes will only continue to increase or stay large while specialized instruction will begins to decrease (looking at you regional model…)

Those are a couple answers. Some parents just want something that works better for their families. There are other answers. No one has to give you the perfect answer but private schools would not be in business if public schools were desirable to all families.

No they don’t.

Anonymous

05/30/2026 06:43 Subject: If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The majority of privates aren’t better, they just have the ability to cherry pick their students and expel those that don’t comply with their rules. I am also a huge supporter of free and public education for all. I want my children to have the opportunity to interact with peers from all walks of life.

The only reason I would consider private schools is if there was a serious safety concern. But again, private schools aren’t immune to that either.

That is literally what makes them better. Privates are not perfect but bad apples are routinely expelled for things public admins just ignore and/or cover up.

Ehh. Whether or not things are reported to the community isn’t the school ignoring or covering it up. You’re dealing with minor children and the school community isn’t entitled to know how the perpetrator was disciplined.

Regardless, one of the top privates in this county had one of the worst cases of bullying by the daughter of an administrator, along with her clique of mean girls. That grade level has significantly lower enrollment numbers. I’ve spoken to students and parents at that school that were all aware it was happening but in their viewpoint, the school didn’t intervene. In fact there was a massive coverup involved and even one of the victim’s parents weren’t informed. Whether they disciplined the perpetrators, who knows.

Another top private in Montgomery county had a significant drinking and drugging culture. I know at least one student was expelled but the school never communicated with parents how deep the drug dealing was and that a staff member was allowed to resign in lieu of being fired.