Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The easiest way to save money on sports is to not let your kid play certain sports from the start.

It’s not like the DMV has organic ways to play hockey. The local pounds don’t freeze over and kids just go out and play. You have to be hauling your kid to an ice rink from the start.

There are dozens of sports you can guide your five year old to play.

Yup and we tried it all until my kid landed on hockey. Believe me, I tried. Doesn't always work out. I'd be happiest if I had a theater kid, but I don't.

This really doesn’t make any sense to me. My kid never landed on hockey because I would never let them land on it. They can play lax, football, flag football, soccer, baseball, basketball…wait until a little they are a little older and they can run track or cross country…I’m probably leaving out another 6+ sports.

It’s really not hard.

Im the poster who said my son badgered his way in and youre right if you just flat out say "no hockey" and keep saying it they wont have the opportunity to ever land there. For us, I just didnt think it would take, my son played many other more accessible sports, and was quite good at them, and had friends on teams, and we knew NO ONE who played hockey. So when he asked for the 12th time to do the learn to play clinic, i was worn down and said yes thinking it would be a one time thing and he would move on. But once he got a taste he fell in love. He asked to do it instead of other sports. He practiced on his own at home, and read books and watched videos and said "please mom can you sign me up for more lessons".

You are correct we could have said absolutely not and forbid it. But when your kid shows that much interest its not an easy thing to shut down. And I really didnt know or understand how expensive it would turn out to be. If I had known I might have said no longer or louder!

NP here - I’m glad you recognize that is really is your fault at the end of the day that your child is playing.

It’s so frustrating hearing parents constantly say “they had no choice” in whatever it is their kid wants, from sports to cell phones. You literally could just say no. You could explain the time and finance sacrifices if you want to give context or just say no.

There are things my children would love that I say no to all the time. It’s really a lack of authority that’s the problem.

And, look, there are some very wealthy families who can just do whatever regardless of cost and there are “hockey” or “horse” families that will give up everything to be in those worlds but they’re all choices.

NP, but DO go ahead and STFU.

We are all well aware that a parent can just refuse. You’re not dropping any wisdom, here. You’re just being an argumentative AH. And there is ZERO reason for YOU to find it frustrating that complete strangers make different choices than you, regardless of whether or not they complain about those choices. It literally does not affect you.

Some parents actually give a $hit about trying to support their kids’ interests, rather than just being authoritarian control freaks. We’re still allowed to vent when kids select expensive interests. Just like someday folks will politely smile and nod when you complain that your adult kids don’t call you or visit except for birthdays and holidays…

NP but you are insane if you think you need to indulge your kids' unrealistic and unaffordable childhood hobbies in order to have a relationship with them when they are adults.

That was not the implication. Utterly disregarding your children’s interests in the name of authority is what will cause them to not take much of an interest in you in your dotage.

And we’re not discussing unrealistic and unaffordable hobbies in this thread. We’re discussing common and expensive hobbies. See the difference?

“nearly 12k a year (not including meet fees, uniforms, hotels, plane tickets etc). So easily another 5k in some cases (current rate is over 8k a year)”

For many people, that’s expensive and unaffordable. For most people who have ever lived, that’s laughably unrealistic for a child’s sport. Get some perspective.

If it’s unaffordable, then don’t do it. That’s obvious, and I am truly sorry that you need to have that explained to you.

People on this thread are talking about sports that are indeed expensive, but they can afford it.

Then why are they - you - complaining? Weird humblebrag?

You never pay for something you can afford but that you also think is expensive?

I assume you’ve never once lamented the cost of healthcare or gas, then…

Have you always been this dumb?

Is healthcare, I don’t know, necessary? Do some people need to buy gas to get to their jobs?

Pls try again.

Nope. Both are choices. You could tough that illness out at home. You could take the bus, or ride your bike, or live closer to your job, or work from home, etc.

Thanks for playing, though. I know it’s hard to admit you were wrong.

It's clear parents today have lost the plot. Back in the day... things were very seasonal. Hockey, skiing, and basketball in the winter. Track and volleyball in the spring. Baseball in the summer. Football and soccer in the fall.

And all of it was normal and affordable for everyone. My big sport was hockey, but we'd get on the train to Montreal and stay with the families with our jersey numbers. Not a big expense for anyone.

This is Canada though. And I can guarantee we were all better hockey players than anyone in the DC area paying thousands for their travel whatever. We played hockey on backyard rinks and footie hockey everywhere. Money wasn't the thing.

More importantly, there was such a wide variety of sports that changed with the season and were available to anyone, regardless of income bracket.

We've lost it with hyper-specialization and the money and time that goes into it. Your kid is not going to the NHL. You are not making a living in volleyball and crew. You are not going to play in the Premier League.

If you are 6'10, basketball might be an option in Turkey. If you are 390 lbs and can lift heavy things, maybe the CFL is viable.

But this obsession by DC area parents for a singular specialization in a sport for their 10 year old is bizarre. And quite sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soccer u12 19k for the year.
The math is shocking, it adds up. And we have college paid for already.
3k club fee, 1k team fee, 1k hotels and gas, 7k summer sleep away camps/ destination expenses, 3k private and skill group training, 1k mentor, 1k physical therapy, 2k equipment.

How does anyone spend $2000.00/year on... soccer equipment?!?

Soccer shoes if you buy for performance. The performance ones are super expensive and wear out very quickly. They're like tech suits in swimming $600 for like one or two meets.

I don't think it's required though, you can wear more durable shoes. Though soccer is an all-weather sport, so it's more than just getting a pair of Umbro's.

I think this is where soccer diverges in the US you can clearly see it's something that isn't really popularly played. It fits more into the classist sports than the blue-collar sports.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thing that I've recently asked myself: what if we had invested all the money we spent on travel sports into a UTMA for our kid? The total amount would likely exceed $200k with market growth, and it would continue to grow. That would be enough to fund a house down payment someday. Was it worth it?

Fortunately, we didn't play travel sports at the expense of saving for college, but there were tradeoffs.

Did your kid have FUN? More fun than watching their college savings grow?

So money's main purpose should be fun? I mean, I like it in theory. Maybe we should've spent the travel sports money on travel that was fun for the whole family, like longer, more fun ski vacations, learning to scuba dive and surf, and seeing more of the world together.

I don't know, but it was a lot of money on a sport that I don't think changed their character or life trajectory more than a less expensive sport might have. I know some people don't like to look back and wonder, but I don't mind doing it out loud to help younger parents think a little harder.

For some of us, the sports are fun for our kids. Why would we be paying all of these thousands if they didn’t enjoy it?

I have a friend who doesn’t understand sports who constantly asks why we spend this money and how it’s not worth it because they won’t get scholarships. She doesn’t understand that’s not the point. We can afford it, college is funded and people spend their money on all sorts of things for enjoyment. It’s that’s simple. My kids don’t even want to play in college.

Fine. I get that. But as an older parent of multiple children, I think we would have optimized our time with our children at home if we had played fewer travel sports and instead skied 30 days every winter and traveled more in the summer. We would have enjoyed family adventure trips in the summer more than bad hotels in bad tournament cities.

Unlike your friend, I don't badger people IRL. But I regret how much we prioritized travel sports, and it's probably more about last time than money, though both are factors.

We have kids in travel hockey, but still have plenty of time to travel with kids. We go away every winter and spring break, and take 2-3 week trips in the summer. It’s possible to do both. We can afford the travel hockey, and our kids love it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soccer u12 19k for the year.
The math is shocking, it adds up. And we have college paid for already.
3k club fee, 1k team fee, 1k hotels and gas, 7k summer sleep away camps/ destination expenses, 3k private and skill group training, 1k mentor, 1k physical therapy, 2k equipment.

You are insane

And with all rhat money spent, the poor kids from schools like Lewis are likely to run circles around most of those high spending soccer kids by the time they get to high school.

Even in the US the best players are on academy teams affiliated with MLS teams by like 12.

I don’t know what Lewis is, but the best players aren’t playing on high school teams.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The easiest way to save money on sports is to not let your kid play certain sports from the start.

It’s not like the DMV has organic ways to play hockey. The local pounds don’t freeze over and kids just go out and play. You have to be hauling your kid to an ice rink from the start.

There are dozens of sports you can guide your five year old to play.

Yup and we tried it all until my kid landed on hockey. Believe me, I tried. Doesn't always work out. I'd be happiest if I had a theater kid, but I don't.

This really doesn’t make any sense to me. My kid never landed on hockey because I would never let them land on it. They can play lax, football, flag football, soccer, baseball, basketball…wait until a little they are a little older and they can run track or cross country…I’m probably leaving out another 6+ sports.

It’s really not hard.

Im the poster who said my son badgered his way in and youre right if you just flat out say "no hockey" and keep saying it they wont have the opportunity to ever land there. For us, I just didnt think it would take, my son played many other more accessible sports, and was quite good at them, and had friends on teams, and we knew NO ONE who played hockey. So when he asked for the 12th time to do the learn to play clinic, i was worn down and said yes thinking it would be a one time thing and he would move on. But once he got a taste he fell in love. He asked to do it instead of other sports. He practiced on his own at home, and read books and watched videos and said "please mom can you sign me up for more lessons".

You are correct we could have said absolutely not and forbid it. But when your kid shows that much interest its not an easy thing to shut down. And I really didnt know or understand how expensive it would turn out to be. If I had known I might have said no longer or louder!

NP here - I’m glad you recognize that is really is your fault at the end of the day that your child is playing.

It’s so frustrating hearing parents constantly say “they had no choice” in whatever it is their kid wants, from sports to cell phones. You literally could just say no. You could explain the time and finance sacrifices if you want to give context or just say no.

There are things my children would love that I say no to all the time. It’s really a lack of authority that’s the problem.

And, look, there are some very wealthy families who can just do whatever regardless of cost and there are “hockey” or “horse” families that will give up everything to be in those worlds but they’re all choices.

NP, but DO go ahead and STFU.

We are all well aware that a parent can just refuse. You’re not dropping any wisdom, here. You’re just being an argumentative AH. And there is ZERO reason for YOU to find it frustrating that complete strangers make different choices than you, regardless of whether or not they complain about those choices. It literally does not affect you.

Some parents actually give a $hit about trying to support their kids’ interests, rather than just being authoritarian control freaks. We’re still allowed to vent when kids select expensive interests. Just like someday folks will politely smile and nod when you complain that your adult kids don’t call you or visit except for birthdays and holidays…

If you are going to vent on an anonymous board about the expense for a sport like hockey that you had to introduce to your kid (again…in the DMV your kid isn’t just playing in a rec league down the street or on a frozen pond with friends to get interested), then don’t expect sympathy. Again…your kid didn’t organically get an interest in the sport…you brought this upon yourself.

If you spend a ton but don’t need to vent about the expense…then nobody cares.

The problem is too many of the former. I at least took heart by all the hockey families venting IRL and decided my kid was just never going to start. One of the easiest decisions to make because again…they could only have started by the choice of the parent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soccer u12 19k for the year.
The math is shocking, it adds up. And we have college paid for already.
3k club fee, 1k team fee, 1k hotels and gas, 7k summer sleep away camps/ destination expenses, 3k private and skill group training, 1k mentor, 1k physical therapy, 2k equipment.

You are insane

And with all rhat money spent, the poor kids from schools like Lewis are likely to run circles around most of those high spending soccer kids by the time they get to high school.

Anonymous wrote:Soccer u12 19k for the year.
The math is shocking, it adds up. And we have college paid for already.
3k club fee, 1k team fee, 1k hotels and gas, 7k summer sleep away camps/ destination expenses, 3k private and skill group training, 1k mentor, 1k physical therapy, 2k equipment.

How does anyone spend $2000.00/year on... soccer equipment?!?

Anonymous wrote:I am a gymnastics parent with Arlington. The proposed fee increases will raise rates significantly with some parents paying nearly 12k a year (not including meet fees, uniforms, hotels, plane tickets etc). So easily another 5k in some cases (current rate is over 8k a year)

But it got me thinking what do folks pay for other competitive sports. I know individual.sports tend to be pricy (competitive rock climbing and archery are close to $500 a month/6k a year).

But what are folks paying for team sports. Just wondering what folks really pay out there. Do people regularly pay 10k plus for just the sport (so not including equipment, uniforms, travel)?

IMO it's a contradiction, expensive competitive sport. No if the barrier is cost, it's not "that" competitive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thing that I've recently asked myself: what if we had invested all the money we spent on travel sports into a UTMA for our kid? The total amount would likely exceed $200k with market growth, and it would continue to grow. That would be enough to fund a house down payment someday. Was it worth it?

Fortunately, we didn't play travel sports at the expense of saving for college, but there were tradeoffs.

Did your kid have FUN? More fun than watching their college savings grow?

So money's main purpose should be fun? I mean, I like it in theory. Maybe we should've spent the travel sports money on travel that was fun for the whole family, like longer, more fun ski vacations, learning to scuba dive and surf, and seeing more of the world together.

I don't know, but it was a lot of money on a sport that I don't think changed their character or life trajectory more than a less expensive sport might have. I know some people don't like to look back and wonder, but I don't mind doing it out loud to help younger parents think a little harder.

For some of us, the sports are fun for our kids. Why would we be paying all of these thousands if they didn’t enjoy it?

I have a friend who doesn’t understand sports who constantly asks why we spend this money and how it’s not worth it because they won’t get scholarships. She doesn’t understand that’s not the point. We can afford it, college is funded and people spend their money on all sorts of things for enjoyment. It’s that’s simple. My kids don’t even want to play in college.

Fine. I get that. But as an older parent of multiple children, I think we would have optimized our time with our children at home if we had played fewer travel sports and instead skied 30 days every winter and traveled more in the summer. We would have enjoyed family adventure trips in the summer more than bad hotels in bad tournament cities.

Unlike your friend, I don't badger people IRL. But I regret how much we prioritized travel sports, and it's probably more about last time than money, though both are factors.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thing that I've recently asked myself: what if we had invested all the money we spent on travel sports into a UTMA for our kid? The total amount would likely exceed $200k with market growth, and it would continue to grow. That would be enough to fund a house down payment someday. Was it worth it?

Fortunately, we didn't play travel sports at the expense of saving for college, but there were tradeoffs.

Did your kid have FUN? More fun than watching their college savings grow?

So money's main purpose should be fun? I mean, I like it in theory. Maybe we should've spent the travel sports money on travel that was fun for the whole family, like longer, more fun ski vacations, learning to scuba dive and surf, and seeing more of the world together.

I don't know, but it was a lot of money on a sport that I don't think changed their character or life trajectory more than a less expensive sport might have. I know some people don't like to look back and wonder, but I don't mind doing it out loud to help younger parents think a little harder.

For some of us, the sports are fun for our kids. Why would we be paying all of these thousands if they didn’t enjoy it?

I have a friend who doesn’t understand sports who constantly asks why we spend this money and how it’s not worth it because they won’t get scholarships. She doesn’t understand that’s not the point. We can afford it, college is funded and people spend their money on all sorts of things for enjoyment. It’s that’s simple. My kids don’t even want to play in college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The easiest way to save money on sports is to not let your kid play certain sports from the start.

It’s not like the DMV has organic ways to play hockey. The local pounds don’t freeze over and kids just go out and play. You have to be hauling your kid to an ice rink from the start.

There are dozens of sports you can guide your five year old to play.

Yup and we tried it all until my kid landed on hockey. Believe me, I tried. Doesn't always work out. I'd be happiest if I had a theater kid, but I don't.

This really doesn’t make any sense to me. My kid never landed on hockey because I would never let them land on it. They can play lax, football, flag football, soccer, baseball, basketball…wait until a little they are a little older and they can run track or cross country…I’m probably leaving out another 6+ sports.

It’s really not hard.

Im the poster who said my son badgered his way in and youre right if you just flat out say "no hockey" and keep saying it they wont have the opportunity to ever land there. For us, I just didnt think it would take, my son played many other more accessible sports, and was quite good at them, and had friends on teams, and we knew NO ONE who played hockey. So when he asked for the 12th time to do the learn to play clinic, i was worn down and said yes thinking it would be a one time thing and he would move on. But once he got a taste he fell in love. He asked to do it instead of other sports. He practiced on his own at home, and read books and watched videos and said "please mom can you sign me up for more lessons".

You are correct we could have said absolutely not and forbid it. But when your kid shows that much interest its not an easy thing to shut down. And I really didnt know or understand how expensive it would turn out to be. If I had known I might have said no longer or louder!

NP here - I’m glad you recognize that is really is your fault at the end of the day that your child is playing.

It’s so frustrating hearing parents constantly say “they had no choice” in whatever it is their kid wants, from sports to cell phones. You literally could just say no. You could explain the time and finance sacrifices if you want to give context or just say no.

There are things my children would love that I say no to all the time. It’s really a lack of authority that’s the problem.

And, look, there are some very wealthy families who can just do whatever regardless of cost and there are “hockey” or “horse” families that will give up everything to be in those worlds but they’re all choices.

NP, but DO go ahead and STFU.

We are all well aware that a parent can just refuse. You’re not dropping any wisdom, here. You’re just being an argumentative AH. And there is ZERO reason for YOU to find it frustrating that complete strangers make different choices than you, regardless of whether or not they complain about those choices. It literally does not affect you.

Some parents actually give a $hit about trying to support their kids’ interests, rather than just being authoritarian control freaks. We’re still allowed to vent when kids select expensive interests. Just like someday folks will politely smile and nod when you complain that your adult kids don’t call you or visit except for birthdays and holidays…

NP but you are insane if you think you need to indulge your kids' unrealistic and unaffordable childhood hobbies in order to have a relationship with them when they are adults.

That was not the implication. Utterly disregarding your children’s interests in the name of authority is what will cause them to not take much of an interest in you in your dotage.

And we’re not discussing unrealistic and unaffordable hobbies in this thread. We’re discussing common and expensive hobbies. See the difference?

“nearly 12k a year (not including meet fees, uniforms, hotels, plane tickets etc). So easily another 5k in some cases (current rate is over 8k a year)”

For many people, that’s expensive and unaffordable. For most people who have ever lived, that’s laughably unrealistic for a child’s sport. Get some perspective.

If it’s unaffordable, then don’t do it. That’s obvious, and I am truly sorry that you need to have that explained to you.

People on this thread are talking about sports that are indeed expensive, but they can afford it.

Then why are they - you - complaining? Weird humblebrag?

You never pay for something you can afford but that you also think is expensive?

I assume you’ve never once lamented the cost of healthcare or gas, then…

Have you always been this dumb?

Is healthcare, I don’t know, necessary? Do some people need to buy gas to get to their jobs?

Pls try again.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The easiest way to save money on sports is to not let your kid play certain sports from the start.

It’s not like the DMV has organic ways to play hockey. The local pounds don’t freeze over and kids just go out and play. You have to be hauling your kid to an ice rink from the start.

There are dozens of sports you can guide your five year old to play.

Yup and we tried it all until my kid landed on hockey. Believe me, I tried. Doesn't always work out. I'd be happiest if I had a theater kid, but I don't.

This really doesn’t make any sense to me. My kid never landed on hockey because I would never let them land on it. They can play lax, football, flag football, soccer, baseball, basketball…wait until a little they are a little older and they can run track or cross country…I’m probably leaving out another 6+ sports.

It’s really not hard.

Im the poster who said my son badgered his way in and youre right if you just flat out say "no hockey" and keep saying it they wont have the opportunity to ever land there. For us, I just didnt think it would take, my son played many other more accessible sports, and was quite good at them, and had friends on teams, and we knew NO ONE who played hockey. So when he asked for the 12th time to do the learn to play clinic, i was worn down and said yes thinking it would be a one time thing and he would move on. But once he got a taste he fell in love. He asked to do it instead of other sports. He practiced on his own at home, and read books and watched videos and said "please mom can you sign me up for more lessons".

You are correct we could have said absolutely not and forbid it. But when your kid shows that much interest its not an easy thing to shut down. And I really didnt know or understand how expensive it would turn out to be. If I had known I might have said no longer or louder!

NP here - I’m glad you recognize that is really is your fault at the end of the day that your child is playing.

It’s so frustrating hearing parents constantly say “they had no choice” in whatever it is their kid wants, from sports to cell phones. You literally could just say no. You could explain the time and finance sacrifices if you want to give context or just say no.

There are things my children would love that I say no to all the time. It’s really a lack of authority that’s the problem.

And, look, there are some very wealthy families who can just do whatever regardless of cost and there are “hockey” or “horse” families that will give up everything to be in those worlds but they’re all choices.

NP, but DO go ahead and STFU.

We are all well aware that a parent can just refuse. You’re not dropping any wisdom, here. You’re just being an argumentative AH. And there is ZERO reason for YOU to find it frustrating that complete strangers make different choices than you, regardless of whether or not they complain about those choices. It literally does not affect you.

Some parents actually give a $hit about trying to support their kids’ interests, rather than just being authoritarian control freaks. We’re still allowed to vent when kids select expensive interests. Just like someday folks will politely smile and nod when you complain that your adult kids don’t call you or visit except for birthdays and holidays…

NP but you are insane if you think you need to indulge your kids' unrealistic and unaffordable childhood hobbies in order to have a relationship with them when they are adults.

That was not the implication. Utterly disregarding your children’s interests in the name of authority is what will cause them to not take much of an interest in you in your dotage.

And we’re not discussing unrealistic and unaffordable hobbies in this thread. We’re discussing common and expensive hobbies. See the difference?

“nearly 12k a year (not including meet fees, uniforms, hotels, plane tickets etc). So easily another 5k in some cases (current rate is over 8k a year)”

For many people, that’s expensive and unaffordable. For most people who have ever lived, that’s laughably unrealistic for a child’s sport. Get some perspective.

If it’s unaffordable, then don’t do it. That’s obvious, and I am truly sorry that you need to have that explained to you.

People on this thread are talking about sports that are indeed expensive, but they can afford it.

Then why are they - you - complaining? Weird humblebrag?

You never pay for something you can afford but that you also think is expensive?

I assume you’ve never once lamented the cost of healthcare or gas, then…

Have you always been this dumb?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The easiest way to save money on sports is to not let your kid play certain sports from the start.

It’s not like the DMV has organic ways to play hockey. The local pounds don’t freeze over and kids just go out and play. You have to be hauling your kid to an ice rink from the start.

There are dozens of sports you can guide your five year old to play.

Yup and we tried it all until my kid landed on hockey. Believe me, I tried. Doesn't always work out. I'd be happiest if I had a theater kid, but I don't.

This really doesn’t make any sense to me. My kid never landed on hockey because I would never let them land on it. They can play lax, football, flag football, soccer, baseball, basketball…wait until a little they are a little older and they can run track or cross country…I’m probably leaving out another 6+ sports.

It’s really not hard.

Im the poster who said my son badgered his way in and youre right if you just flat out say "no hockey" and keep saying it they wont have the opportunity to ever land there. For us, I just didnt think it would take, my son played many other more accessible sports, and was quite good at them, and had friends on teams, and we knew NO ONE who played hockey. So when he asked for the 12th time to do the learn to play clinic, i was worn down and said yes thinking it would be a one time thing and he would move on. But once he got a taste he fell in love. He asked to do it instead of other sports. He practiced on his own at home, and read books and watched videos and said "please mom can you sign me up for more lessons".

You are correct we could have said absolutely not and forbid it. But when your kid shows that much interest its not an easy thing to shut down. And I really didnt know or understand how expensive it would turn out to be. If I had known I might have said no longer or louder!

NP here - I’m glad you recognize that is really is your fault at the end of the day that your child is playing.

It’s so frustrating hearing parents constantly say “they had no choice” in whatever it is their kid wants, from sports to cell phones. You literally could just say no. You could explain the time and finance sacrifices if you want to give context or just say no.

There are things my children would love that I say no to all the time. It’s really a lack of authority that’s the problem.

And, look, there are some very wealthy families who can just do whatever regardless of cost and there are “hockey” or “horse” families that will give up everything to be in those worlds but they’re all choices.

NP, but DO go ahead and STFU.

We are all well aware that a parent can just refuse. You’re not dropping any wisdom, here. You’re just being an argumentative AH. And there is ZERO reason for YOU to find it frustrating that complete strangers make different choices than you, regardless of whether or not they complain about those choices. It literally does not affect you.

Some parents actually give a $hit about trying to support their kids’ interests, rather than just being authoritarian control freaks. We’re still allowed to vent when kids select expensive interests. Just like someday folks will politely smile and nod when you complain that your adult kids don’t call you or visit except for birthdays and holidays…

NP but you are insane if you think you need to indulge your kids' unrealistic and unaffordable childhood hobbies in order to have a relationship with them when they are adults.

That was not the implication. Utterly disregarding your children’s interests in the name of authority is what will cause them to not take much of an interest in you in your dotage.

And we’re not discussing unrealistic and unaffordable hobbies in this thread. We’re discussing common and expensive hobbies. See the difference?

“nearly 12k a year (not including meet fees, uniforms, hotels, plane tickets etc). So easily another 5k in some cases (current rate is over 8k a year)”

For many people, that’s expensive and unaffordable. For most people who have ever lived, that’s laughably unrealistic for a child’s sport. Get some perspective.

If it’s unaffordable, then don’t do it. That’s obvious, and I am truly sorry that you need to have that explained to you.

People on this thread are talking about sports that are indeed expensive, but they can afford it.

Then why are they - you - complaining? Weird humblebrag?

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The easiest way to save money on sports is to not let your kid play certain sports from the start.

It’s not like the DMV has organic ways to play hockey. The local pounds don’t freeze over and kids just go out and play. You have to be hauling your kid to an ice rink from the start.

There are dozens of sports you can guide your five year old to play.

Yup and we tried it all until my kid landed on hockey. Believe me, I tried. Doesn't always work out. I'd be happiest if I had a theater kid, but I don't.

This really doesn’t make any sense to me. My kid never landed on hockey because I would never let them land on it. They can play lax, football, flag football, soccer, baseball, basketball…wait until a little they are a little older and they can run track or cross country…I’m probably leaving out another 6+ sports.

It’s really not hard.

Im the poster who said my son badgered his way in and youre right if you just flat out say "no hockey" and keep saying it they wont have the opportunity to ever land there. For us, I just didnt think it would take, my son played many other more accessible sports, and was quite good at them, and had friends on teams, and we knew NO ONE who played hockey. So when he asked for the 12th time to do the learn to play clinic, i was worn down and said yes thinking it would be a one time thing and he would move on. But once he got a taste he fell in love. He asked to do it instead of other sports. He practiced on his own at home, and read books and watched videos and said "please mom can you sign me up for more lessons".

You are correct we could have said absolutely not and forbid it. But when your kid shows that much interest its not an easy thing to shut down. And I really didnt know or understand how expensive it would turn out to be. If I had known I might have said no longer or louder!

NP here - I’m glad you recognize that is really is your fault at the end of the day that your child is playing.

It’s so frustrating hearing parents constantly say “they had no choice” in whatever it is their kid wants, from sports to cell phones. You literally could just say no. You could explain the time and finance sacrifices if you want to give context or just say no.

There are things my children would love that I say no to all the time. It’s really a lack of authority that’s the problem.

And, look, there are some very wealthy families who can just do whatever regardless of cost and there are “hockey” or “horse” families that will give up everything to be in those worlds but they’re all choices.

NP, but DO go ahead and STFU.

We are all well aware that a parent can just refuse. You’re not dropping any wisdom, here. You’re just being an argumentative AH. And there is ZERO reason for YOU to find it frustrating that complete strangers make different choices than you, regardless of whether or not they complain about those choices. It literally does not affect you.

Some parents actually give a $hit about trying to support their kids’ interests, rather than just being authoritarian control freaks. We’re still allowed to vent when kids select expensive interests. Just like someday folks will politely smile and nod when you complain that your adult kids don’t call you or visit except for birthdays and holidays…

NP -

LOL - you think your kids are going to call you when they realize that it was actually your dreams they were living? That they didn’t actually have a ‘choice’ because the one time they said they liked hockey after you took them to the Caps game you decided they were a star?

Feel free to vent. And I’ll feel free to remind you that this was your choice. Don’t want to hear that? Don’t complain.

LOL

Some of you really don’t understand the conversation you’re wading into, and yet you confidently enter anyway.