Anonymous
04/19/2026 09:50
Subject: High school recommendations from our k-8 school and how should I feel about?
Op - my first preference over a basis or a Trevor would be a bronxville/ Scarsdale/ rye etc. Def open to some of the publics mentioned here also. Basis is a joke, I feel, and also I could have sent him there years ago and saved money if I thought it was up to anything
The standout thing to me is their list is incoherent. Trevor/ LREI, Dwight and basis have only in common that they are relatively easy to get into. The same student who thrives at lrei is not the same student who thrives at basis. I feel like we are just saying it needs to be an easy get for him bc he’s an undesirable student, rather than they had a thoughtful assessment of his profile that we’ve all been discussing for some time. As for the ISEE yes he has taken practice ISEEs and had quite varying results with the first one in high 8s and then when he took it again more variation.
I guess my expectation was that they’d suggest a couple ‘stretches’ eg a fieldston, a packer etc.. maybe a Buckley. And then some mid range - I wouldn’t have been surprised to see LREI in there. But it feels like we are just aiming for the lowest rung without us being prepped for that outcome along the way
The standout thing to me is their list is incoherent. Trevor/ LREI, Dwight and basis have only in common that they are relatively easy to get into. The same student who thrives at lrei is not the same student who thrives at basis. I feel like we are just saying it needs to be an easy get for him bc he’s an undesirable student, rather than they had a thoughtful assessment of his profile that we’ve all been discussing for some time. As for the ISEE yes he has taken practice ISEEs and had quite varying results with the first one in high 8s and then when he took it again more variation.
I guess my expectation was that they’d suggest a couple ‘stretches’ eg a fieldston, a packer etc.. maybe a Buckley. And then some mid range - I wouldn’t have been surprised to see LREI in there. But it feels like we are just aiming for the lowest rung without us being prepped for that outcome along the way
Anonymous
04/19/2026 09:48
Subject: High school recommendations from our k-8 school and how should I feel about?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I think you have to begin with the end in mind. You sound like you would not be happy to spend another 300k and be sitting in a colleges counseling office hearing suggestions like Lehigh or Holy Cross. (perfectly good schools!)
I have two kids at HYP right now. So I get it. I acknowledge I wanted my kids to go to the kind of college that wasn't on the table for me.
We could sorta kinda afford private K-8, which sounded like a financial slog so we did pubic k-5 and public middle and then private HS. (Also had SHS spots, which would have also been fine).
Think about what kind of college you'd be happy with. You might say, maybe something cool like Pitzer or Wes. If so, go to public. BC? Go to Loyola. You will have better luck getting into Cornell from a strong public. At Middlebury, getting a great GPA and applying ED would be the more important than public or private. Or learn to play Rugby at Xavier and go to Cal or Michigan and maybe Brown. Want to go to UVA, buy a nice house in Rye and get him a tutor to keep his grades up.
A top HS in NY can totally help you, but all privates can hurt you too. Top or not. They're all full of "institutional priorities": legacies, donors, and very strong FGLI kids who came in via Prep for Prep etc and can thrive in PWI - colleges love them. All these legacy/donor kids get leadership positions - not because of nepotism (disagree with the podcast), but because they were born with the confidence and swagger my kids didn't have at 14.
Different poster - thanks for sharing. I am interested in going a similar route with my kids - public for younger years and apply to private for HS. How was the transition from public to private for your kids? Pros/cons of this path? TYSM
We are in a similar boat - kid is 4 now applying to K next year. One of the big reasons we are considering private is because there don't seem to be a lot of good public middle schools and the admission process for public has changed so much. It also doesn't seem like privates have too many open seats at middle school level.
Anonymous
04/19/2026 09:38
Subject: Re:High school recommendations from our k-8 school and how should I feel about?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:All this talk of bad exmissions and nearly every K-8 hiding their exact outcomes on their websites makes me question why anyone would choose these schools over a decent K-12. If a median student at Buckley doesn’t have a shot at a TT then it’s really not a decent value proposition
Sometimes the right school at K is not the right school for high school. Also, what is “bad exmissions”? Would Sacred Heart, Avenues, Grace or Trevor be considered “bad”?
I would consider avenues pretty not great. The others are…. Ok
A good student would consider these outcomes to be less than ideal. Whether they are worth 70k depends on whether you are worth deep into eight figures. A working professional shouldn’t shell out and make sacrifices for Trevor.
The beauty (at least to me) of some of these schools is that there are kids who know from day one that they are not aiming for Ivies. So if your kid enters aiming for Ivies and with a somewhat reasonable chance of getting there, they are not competing with their entire class for spots. It is kind of like going to a good suburban public school. They get plenty of kids into top schools but if you look at the whole school the "average" outcome isn't going to look great.
Yea. Matriculation for college may be maximized. But you’re spending a pretty penny for a 3T school many New Yorkers look down upon (Dwight is not 2T) and that may have a number of idiots in each class. In an extreme example, would you enroll your child in a special needs high school if it meant they’d get into Harvard?
So is the NYC mentality that kids get more respect if they go to Chapin and then on to Lehigh or SMU, versus Dwight or Avenues and then on to Princeton?
Dwight is a face tattoo that even Princeton can’t wash off. Being a rich Latin American admit to Princeton is its own level of sleazy and unqualified. So yea Chapin or Trinity to SMU is more respectable.
What does that even mean? No one cares where you went to high school. Most college graduates will not list their high school on their resume or LinkedIn. Someone who went to Dwight and then a good college will do just fine.
People who go to Exeter and HM and Trinity 10000% put it on their LinkedIn and on their resume for the first couple jobs out of college. People do care about this stuff, you and your ilk do not.
Anonymous
04/19/2026 09:16
Subject: High school recommendations from our k-8 school and how should I feel about?
Anonymous wrote:I think you have to begin with the end in mind. You sound like you would not be happy to spend another 300k and be sitting in a colleges counseling office hearing suggestions like Lehigh or Holy Cross. (perfectly good schools!)
I have two kids at HYP right now. So I get it. I acknowledge I wanted my kids to go to the kind of college that wasn't on the table for me.
We could sorta kinda afford private K-8, which sounded like a financial slog so we did pubic k-5 and public middle and then private HS. (Also had SHS spots, which would have also been fine).
Think about what kind of college you'd be happy with. You might say, maybe something cool like Pitzer or Wes. If so, go to public. BC? Go to Loyola. You will have better luck getting into Cornell from a strong public. At Middlebury, getting a great GPA and applying ED would be the more important than public or private. Or learn to play Rugby at Xavier and go to Cal or Michigan and maybe Brown. Want to go to UVA, buy a nice house in Rye and get him a tutor to keep his grades up.
A top HS in NY can totally help you, but all privates can hurt you too. Top or not. They're all full of "institutional priorities": legacies, donors, and very strong FGLI kids who came in via Prep for Prep etc and can thrive in PWI - colleges love them. All these legacy/donor kids get leadership positions - not because of nepotism (disagree with the podcast), but because they were born with the confidence and swagger my kids didn't have at 14.
Different poster - thanks for sharing. I am interested in going a similar route with my kids - public for younger years and apply to private for HS. How was the transition from public to private for your kids? Pros/cons of this path? TYSM
Anonymous
04/19/2026 09:11
Subject: High school recommendations from our k-8 school and how should I feel about?
Anonymous wrote:op - school got back to me and suggested Trevor day, lrei, Dwight, basis
You guys - I have worked so hard for so long to afford this school. I never go out - I just work. I trusted them that if they saw him tracking academically in a way where he needed help they would tell me. I asked them flat out so many times- so many times they could have said - you know - he could use a tutor. I’m so angry but also just feel like such an idiot and like I got duped by these people. We are signed up for next year for my 10 and 12 yo and all I want to do is take them both out. It feels like such a freaking racket. Not bc I am expecting him to be someone he’s not. But I shouldn’t be finding out the reality of what they think he can achieve when it’s almost too late to do anything to help him. Like - if a kid is never getting into T1 or T2 then say - hey this kid really needs some extra help and say it early! Jfc
Apply to TT or T2 in addition to those schools.
But even if your DC ends up at trevor, irei, dwight, basis, they will be fine if they are prepped well and stand out in high school. TBH if you are unhooked and are a good student, you will be successful no matter you go to TT or T2.
I don't understand why you think he needs a tutor. Do you think students who are tutored into a TT and continue being tutored there would be better students? Are those TT parents going to provide tutors for their tutored TT kids throughout college, grad school, and their lives?
Anonymous
04/19/2026 09:07
Subject: High school recommendations from our k-8 school and how should I feel about?
I think you have to begin with the end in mind. You sound like you would not be happy to spend another 300k and be sitting in a colleges counseling office hearing suggestions like Lehigh or Holy Cross. (perfectly good schools!)
I have two kids at HYP right now. So I get it. I acknowledge I wanted my kids to go to the kind of college that wasn't on the table for me.
We could sorta kinda afford private K-8, which sounded like a financial slog so we did pubic k-5 and public middle and then private HS. (Also had SHS spots, which would have also been fine).
Think about what kind of college you'd be happy with. You might say, maybe something cool like Pitzer or Wes. If so, go to public. BC? Go to Loyola. You will have better luck getting into Cornell from a strong public. At Middlebury, getting a great GPA and applying ED would be the more important than public or private. Or learn to play Rugby at Xavier and go to Cal or Michigan and maybe Brown. Want to go to UVA, buy a nice house in Rye and get him a tutor to keep his grades up.
A top HS in NY can totally help you, but all privates can hurt you too. Top or not. They're all full of "institutional priorities": legacies, donors, and very strong FGLI kids who came in via Prep for Prep etc and can thrive in PWI - colleges love them. All these legacy/donor kids get leadership positions - not because of nepotism (disagree with the podcast), but because they were born with the confidence and swagger my kids didn't have at 14.
I have two kids at HYP right now. So I get it. I acknowledge I wanted my kids to go to the kind of college that wasn't on the table for me.
We could sorta kinda afford private K-8, which sounded like a financial slog so we did pubic k-5 and public middle and then private HS. (Also had SHS spots, which would have also been fine).
Think about what kind of college you'd be happy with. You might say, maybe something cool like Pitzer or Wes. If so, go to public. BC? Go to Loyola. You will have better luck getting into Cornell from a strong public. At Middlebury, getting a great GPA and applying ED would be the more important than public or private. Or learn to play Rugby at Xavier and go to Cal or Michigan and maybe Brown. Want to go to UVA, buy a nice house in Rye and get him a tutor to keep his grades up.
A top HS in NY can totally help you, but all privates can hurt you too. Top or not. They're all full of "institutional priorities": legacies, donors, and very strong FGLI kids who came in via Prep for Prep etc and can thrive in PWI - colleges love them. All these legacy/donor kids get leadership positions - not because of nepotism (disagree with the podcast), but because they were born with the confidence and swagger my kids didn't have at 14.
Anonymous
04/19/2026 08:46
Subject: High school recommendations from our k-8 school and how should I feel about?
Op, why not move to Westchester, CT, or Long Island? Great public schools, and you can all thrive with your money going further and more fresh air?
Alternately, for as much as you’re spending, why not hoarding school?
I grew up in the Hudson valley, went to public school and then to Exeter and then Columbia. I don’t know why NYC families put themselves through all of this, only to have to do it all again for college. Can’t be good for your kids.
Alternately, for as much as you’re spending, why not hoarding school?
I grew up in the Hudson valley, went to public school and then to Exeter and then Columbia. I don’t know why NYC families put themselves through all of this, only to have to do it all again for college. Can’t be good for your kids.
Anonymous
04/19/2026 08:44
Subject: High school recommendations from our k-8 school and how should I feel about?
How does your school do assessments? If they do narrative reports then go back over for some clues. Do they bring home graded tests and papers? Start thinking about your other options. There’s a great FB page for parents navigating the NYC public high school process. If your kid doesn’t get grades it might be hard to figure out their tier for the admissions process but if you think your child will test well and can handle TT workload then have them take the SHSAT. Do they have any artistic talent? They could audition for one of the arts high schools. Good writer? Try for Bard or Beacon. Are you catholic or open to catholic? Test for Regis or look into Xavier or FP, which have great honors programs and are a fraction of the cost. There are many options in NYC if you look past the 5-10 private “TTs.”
Anonymous
04/19/2026 08:29
Subject: High school recommendations from our k-8 school and how should I feel about?
Anonymous wrote:op - school got back to me and suggested Trevor day, lrei, Dwight, basis
You guys - I have worked so hard for so long to afford this school. I never go out - I just work. I trusted them that if they saw him tracking academically in a way where he needed help they would tell me. I asked them flat out so many times- so many times they could have said - you know - he could use a tutor. I’m so angry but also just feel like such an idiot and like I got duped by these people. We are signed up for next year for my 10 and 12 yo and all I want to do is take them both out. It feels like such a freaking racket. Not bc I am expecting him to be someone he’s not. But I shouldn’t be finding out the reality of what they think he can achieve when it’s almost too late to do anything to help him. Like - if a kid is never getting into T1 or T2 then say - hey this kid really needs some extra help and say it early! Jfc
Again, have your kid take the ISEE before you start spinning out. The ISEE will give you some data on what he’s learned and also if he’s a good test taker. Does your school do a practice ISEE the spring of 7th? Also, my kid is a straight A student with 8s and 9s on the ISEE and we applied to LREI. My kid really liked LREI and if you’re downtown and want more progressive school it worth looking at. We found it to be one of the warmer schools we looked at and the kids get into some pretty good colleges. We’re not ending up there but I wouldn’t dismiss out of hand. I’ve also heard good things about Basis and they’re cheaper.
Anonymous
04/19/2026 08:22
Subject: Re:High school recommendations from our k-8 school and how should I feel about?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:All this talk of bad exmissions and nearly every K-8 hiding their exact outcomes on their websites makes me question why anyone would choose these schools over a decent K-12. If a median student at Buckley doesn’t have a shot at a TT then it’s really not a decent value proposition
Sometimes the right school at K is not the right school for high school. Also, what is “bad exmissions”? Would Sacred Heart, Avenues, Grace or Trevor be considered “bad”?
I would consider avenues pretty not great. The others are…. Ok
A good student would consider these outcomes to be less than ideal. Whether they are worth 70k depends on whether you are worth deep into eight figures. A working professional shouldn’t shell out and make sacrifices for Trevor.
The beauty (at least to me) of some of these schools is that there are kids who know from day one that they are not aiming for Ivies. So if your kid enters aiming for Ivies and with a somewhat reasonable chance of getting there, they are not competing with their entire class for spots. It is kind of like going to a good suburban public school. They get plenty of kids into top schools but if you look at the whole school the "average" outcome isn't going to look great.
Yea. Matriculation for college may be maximized. But you’re spending a pretty penny for a 3T school many New Yorkers look down upon (Dwight is not 2T) and that may have a number of idiots in each class. In an extreme example, would you enroll your child in a special needs high school if it meant they’d get into Harvard?
So is the NYC mentality that kids get more respect if they go to Chapin and then on to Lehigh or SMU, versus Dwight or Avenues and then on to Princeton?
Dwight is a face tattoo that even Princeton can’t wash off. Being a rich Latin American admit to Princeton is its own level of sleazy and unqualified. So yea Chapin or Trinity to SMU is more respectable.
What does that even mean? No one cares where you went to high school. Most college graduates will not list their high school on their resume or LinkedIn. Someone who went to Dwight and then a good college will do just fine.
Anonymous
04/19/2026 07:56
Subject: High school recommendations from our k-8 school and how should I feel about?
A lot of these places (even the famous TT ones) are rackets. I now suggest people do outside assessments every year if the school doesn’t release ERB scores to parents. Treat them the way you treat a co-op, look into the finances, etc.
Anonymous
04/19/2026 00:31
Subject: High school recommendations from our k-8 school and how should I feel about?
op - school got back to me and suggested Trevor day, lrei, Dwight, basis
You guys - I have worked so hard for so long to afford this school. I never go out - I just work. I trusted them that if they saw him tracking academically in a way where he needed help they would tell me. I asked them flat out so many times- so many times they could have said - you know - he could use a tutor. I’m so angry but also just feel like such an idiot and like I got duped by these people. We are signed up for next year for my 10 and 12 yo and all I want to do is take them both out. It feels like such a freaking racket. Not bc I am expecting him to be someone he’s not. But I shouldn’t be finding out the reality of what they think he can achieve when it’s almost too late to do anything to help him. Like - if a kid is never getting into T1 or T2 then say - hey this kid really needs some extra help and say it early! Jfc
You guys - I have worked so hard for so long to afford this school. I never go out - I just work. I trusted them that if they saw him tracking academically in a way where he needed help they would tell me. I asked them flat out so many times- so many times they could have said - you know - he could use a tutor. I’m so angry but also just feel like such an idiot and like I got duped by these people. We are signed up for next year for my 10 and 12 yo and all I want to do is take them both out. It feels like such a freaking racket. Not bc I am expecting him to be someone he’s not. But I shouldn’t be finding out the reality of what they think he can achieve when it’s almost too late to do anything to help him. Like - if a kid is never getting into T1 or T2 then say - hey this kid really needs some extra help and say it early! Jfc
Anonymous
04/18/2026 23:42
Subject: High school recommendations from our k-8 school and how should I feel about?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I looked at avenues senior decisions - it’s not bad.
Avenues, like FL privates, takes a ton of rich Latin Americans. It boosts the numbers a lot
Every TT is doing the same, with tons more donors and other hooks to boost the numbers.
Avenues' average sat score is comparable to Chapin's. Asians there are doing just fine.
Anonymous
04/18/2026 23:10
Subject: Re:High school recommendations from our k-8 school and how should I feel about?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NYC_Prep
Some of these kids went to Dwight. Let’s just say they were representative of what goes on there.
Some of these kids went to Dwight. Let’s just say they were representative of what goes on there.
Anonymous
04/18/2026 23:09
Subject: Re:High school recommendations from our k-8 school and how should I feel about?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:All this talk of bad exmissions and nearly every K-8 hiding their exact outcomes on their websites makes me question why anyone would choose these schools over a decent K-12. If a median student at Buckley doesn’t have a shot at a TT then it’s really not a decent value proposition
Sometimes the right school at K is not the right school for high school. Also, what is “bad exmissions”? Would Sacred Heart, Avenues, Grace or Trevor be considered “bad”?
I would consider avenues pretty not great. The others are…. Ok
A good student would consider these outcomes to be less than ideal. Whether they are worth 70k depends on whether you are worth deep into eight figures. A working professional shouldn’t shell out and make sacrifices for Trevor.
The beauty (at least to me) of some of these schools is that there are kids who know from day one that they are not aiming for Ivies. So if your kid enters aiming for Ivies and with a somewhat reasonable chance of getting there, they are not competing with their entire class for spots. It is kind of like going to a good suburban public school. They get plenty of kids into top schools but if you look at the whole school the "average" outcome isn't going to look great.
Yea. Matriculation for college may be maximized. But you’re spending a pretty penny for a 3T school many New Yorkers look down upon (Dwight is not 2T) and that may have a number of idiots in each class. In an extreme example, would you enroll your child in a special needs high school if it meant they’d get into Harvard?
This is toxic. If you are a good student you are a good student. Why does it matter if your peers are not aiming for ivies. Dwight may not be a 2T, but it meets the needs of many families. And it says a lot about you to call kids "idiots".
I said a number of idiots, not that every student there is an idiot. There is an idiot at every school. Reading comprehension is important.
Enough with your bullshit. You are the only idiot here!
I’m not the one writing hundreds of words defending the decision to go to Dwight (with decent grades and ISEES and no felony)