Anonymous
03/29/2026 11:06
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Totally understand. This is absolutely true because I see several very similar cases. OPP, at least this an IVY. I saw families struggling for a top 20 or 30.
I would suggest you consider the major. If the kid is in a major that easy to get money back, it's OK to have some loan. Or else, have to choose what is affordable.
But, no she didn't fail her kid. This system failed those wonderful kids.
I agree the system fails a lot of kids but don’t agree going to a name-brand school is some sort of right. Some posters are mourning for OP’s niece as though she can’t go to any college. She is going to college, likely to a great state school or T50 or even T30. She just can’t go to an Ivy. Actually she could if her parents are willing to sell their house, downsize to a smaller house, use some of the property equity gains, get a 2nd mortgage, if she is willing to take a gap year, take on a PT job…there are lots of ways. But they are not willing to be flexible and they must have the Ivy when she could be getting just as good an education minus the brand name. I don’t really think this is the same as the system failing kids because their “need” appears to be a pretentious/materialistic one.
Purely talking about this solution. I am always confused. I also heard some people said they planned a gap year to save money for medical school or law school. I just can't imagine how it can work. What kind of job/payment can a high school graduate get? minimum pay? After living cost, how much can he save in a year? 10K? If it can help tuition, there is no way so many families save for many years and still can't afford it. The same as college graduate. Working for a year can pay for medical school? It's such a common saying that I never understand.
a min wage job is 40k a year.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 11:04
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Totally understand. This is absolutely true because I see several very similar cases. OPP, at least this an IVY. I saw families struggling for a top 20 or 30.
I would suggest you consider the major. If the kid is in a major that easy to get money back, it's OK to have some loan. Or else, have to choose what is affordable.
But, no she didn't fail her kid. This system failed those wonderful kids.
I agree the system fails a lot of kids but don’t agree going to a name-brand school is some sort of right. Some posters are mourning for OP’s niece as though she can’t go to any college. She is going to college, likely to a great state school or T50 or even T30. She just can’t go to an Ivy. Actually she could if her parents are willing to sell their house, downsize to a smaller house, use some of the property equity gains, get a 2nd mortgage, if she is willing to take a gap year, take on a PT job…there are lots of ways. But they are not willing to be flexible and they must have the Ivy when she could be getting just as good an education minus the brand name. I don’t really think this is the same as the system failing kids because their “need” appears to be a pretentious/materialistic one.
When your state flagship is over 40k/yr and you’re not eligible for need-based aid there either, the whole system really feels like an utter failure.
+1. And I don't want to mention how hard to get into some state colleges as residents.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 10:57
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Totally understand. This is absolutely true because I see several very similar cases. OPP, at least this an IVY. I saw families struggling for a top 20 or 30.
I would suggest you consider the major. If the kid is in a major that easy to get money back, it's OK to have some loan. Or else, have to choose what is affordable.
But, no she didn't fail her kid. This system failed those wonderful kids.
I agree the system fails a lot of kids but don’t agree going to a name-brand school is some sort of right. Some posters are mourning for OP’s niece as though she can’t go to any college. She is going to college, likely to a great state school or T50 or even T30. She just can’t go to an Ivy. Actually she could if her parents are willing to sell their house, downsize to a smaller house, use some of the property equity gains, get a 2nd mortgage, if she is willing to take a gap year, take on a PT job…there are lots of ways. But they are not willing to be flexible and they must have the Ivy when she could be getting just as good an education minus the brand name. I don’t really think this is the same as the system failing kids because their “need” appears to be a pretentious/materialistic one.
Purely talking about this solution. I am always confused. I also heard some people said they planned a gap year to save money for medical school or law school. I just can't imagine how it can work. What kind of job/payment can a high school graduate get? minimum pay? After living cost, how much can he save in a year? 10K? If it can help tuition, there is no way so many families save for many years and still can't afford it. The same as college graduate. Working for a year can pay for medical school? It's such a common saying that I never understand.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 10:53
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't believe you
This is an odd post.
Under the circumstances OP has described, I don't believe an Ivy would require the parents to pay 75k. I just don't.
I’m actually with this person. All of the Ivies either exclude home equity or cap it at a low multiple of income when considering how much the parents have in assets. Most (all?) also take into account medical expenses not covered by insurance.
I ran the Columbia (who I think uses the highest multiple of income for home equity) NPC calculator quickly with the limited info OP provided and some generous assumptions and it only had a family contribution of $19k, with Columbia picking up $78k. There are some major assets missing from this story.
I ran it again with even more generous (and probably unrealistic) assumptions and it spit out a family contribution of $29k with Columbia covering $68k. Something is missing here.
Did op kid get into ivy or columbia? Why are you mentioning Columbia?
Because, as stated before, Columbia is the harshest Ivy with regard to home equity. So if home equity is truly the problem, Columbia should spit out the least favorable number. Everywhere else would be better for a high home equity case. And yet the expected contribution from Columbia is still quite low.
Hence, there are missing assets from this story.
harshest how? yale doesn't exclude any real estate, even primary.
Yale is more opaque about how they calculate EFC. In any event, I ran the Yale NPC with $1.2 million in home equity and a handful of other assets and it still spit out a family contribution of $31k, with Yale covering $60k. Still something missing.
on what income? I asked Yale about this and it's 1x income. also what did you put in as a "handful" of other assets. like what about the 529s for 3 kids.
See, I believe Columbia is 2x income which I why I used that originally.
Assumptions for Yale were $200k income, $5k in interest/dividend income, $70k in checking/savings, $50k in investments, $50k additional in sibling assets, $5k in income and assets each for the student. $1.2 million in home equity as previously indicated. Seem like fairly generous assumptions.
Did the same for Cornell and it spit out $42k in contribution with the school covering $51k. Getting closer but still not that close.
Agree there are large missing assets to this story. Or. OP is a troll.
I stated explicitly in my original post that my sister has a good deal of home equity but it's not about to sell her long time home to send her child to college. I think we can all agree that the middle class gets screwed in this process. Several other teachers have commented here in similar situations. You make too much for meaningful aid but not nearly enough that you can afford such a huge sticker price. And people should not have to sell their houses to send their kids to college. Which my sister is not going to do. My niece will probably end up at her state flagship and be fine. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't stink to have to tell your child that you cannot afford their dream college after they work their butt off for years and years. Can't we all agree on that?
We are in a similar situation with our kid. We did our financial risk analysis and we agreed that house, retirement money and a safety savings account are untouchable. Then with aggressive saving and 529 savings we can cover half of the undergrad costs (2 years out of 4). Kid decided to go in debt (loans) to cover the remaining 2 years. The engineering major is highly paid and a better school would make a difference.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 10:46
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Anonymous wrote:Many ivies offer full tuition waiver for 200k HHI. Primary residence is usually not a factor in determining your eligibility. So I don’t know what the fuss is about or the OP is a troll.
This is patently untrue.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 10:45
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Many ivies offer full tuition waiver for 200k HHI. Primary residence is usually not a factor in determining your eligibility. So I don’t know what the fuss is about or the OP is a troll.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 10:40
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Anonymous wrote:College isn't a right, it's a luxury good.
There are many, many reasons it is unaffordable for qualified, motivated students:
-low paying parental jobs (even if they are noble)
-health care costs/medical emergencies
-layoffs/unemployment/redirecting careers
-caring for multiple generations, children, etc.
There are also many, many ways to make it a reality - even if you aren't rich.
I agere with this, but it's a luxury good priced like a right. There's no sliding scale for Gucci. I wish tip top colleges would go tuition free and make kids pay for room and board (require to live on campus for two years). So everyone pays 20k a year. Save some millions on the FA office which would be completely eliminated. If you have to take on 80k of loans to go to Princeton, it's probably worth it. And many of these kids are making 20k a summer by their summer before junior year
Anonymous
03/29/2026 09:28
Subject: Re:When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
The responses on here are interesting.
I also cannot afford to send my child to his dream school UChicago (he was accepted). I got so many responses telling me to go into debt for it and that it was worth it.
I also cannot afford to send my child to his dream school UChicago (he was accepted). I got so many responses telling me to go into debt for it and that it was worth it.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 09:23
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Is it an HY ivy? I think that they offer aid for families making less than 250K
Anonymous
03/29/2026 09:20
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Anonymous wrote:We are full pay, but when we toured schools, every single one of them insisted that they met 100% of financial need, and some specified that it would not be with loans, but with work-study or grants. I didn't do any research, since we were not the target audience, but... now it seems like they were lying all along???
This is one of the things I hate about American college admissions: the system is so opaque and colleges have the upper hand and can bamboozle families so easily without repercussions. I don't think any other country has such a murky, subjective system prone to misuse.
they were not lying but people have different views of financial need. Like my kid's friend whose parents were shocked the financial aid package was lower sophomore year (after older sib was no longer in college) and worried how they would swing it. At the same time, they were planning a long trip to Europe.
We on the other hand are full pay but are frugal in our vacation planning.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 09:14
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
College isn't a right, it's a luxury good.
There are many, many reasons it is unaffordable for qualified, motivated students:
-low paying parental jobs (even if they are noble)
-health care costs/medical emergencies
-layoffs/unemployment/redirecting careers
-caring for multiple generations, children, etc.
There are also many, many ways to make it a reality - even if you aren't rich.
There are many, many reasons it is unaffordable for qualified, motivated students:
-low paying parental jobs (even if they are noble)
-health care costs/medical emergencies
-layoffs/unemployment/redirecting careers
-caring for multiple generations, children, etc.
There are also many, many ways to make it a reality - even if you aren't rich.
Anonymous
03/29/2026 08:44
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Are there other family members who can chip in $10K? Grandparents? Great aunt or uncle? Childless aunt or uncle? Can parents do some tutoring over the summer?
Anonymous
03/29/2026 08:33
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't believe you
This is an odd post.
Under the circumstances OP has described, I don't believe an Ivy would require the parents to pay 75k. I just don't.
I’m actually with this person. All of the Ivies either exclude home equity or cap it at a low multiple of income when considering how much the parents have in assets. Most (all?) also take into account medical expenses not covered by insurance.
I ran the Columbia (who I think uses the highest multiple of income for home equity) NPC calculator quickly with the limited info OP provided and some generous assumptions and it only had a family contribution of $19k, with Columbia picking up $78k. There are some major assets missing from this story.
I ran it again with even more generous (and probably unrealistic) assumptions and it spit out a family contribution of $29k with Columbia covering $68k. Something is missing here.
Did op kid get into ivy or columbia? Why are you mentioning Columbia?
Because, as stated before, Columbia is the harshest Ivy with regard to home equity. So if home equity is truly the problem, Columbia should spit out the least favorable number. Everywhere else would be better for a high home equity case. And yet the expected contribution from Columbia is still quite low.
Hence, there are missing assets from this story.
harshest how? yale doesn't exclude any real estate, even primary.
Yale is more opaque about how they calculate EFC. In any event, I ran the Yale NPC with $1.2 million in home equity and a handful of other assets and it still spit out a family contribution of $31k, with Yale covering $60k. Still something missing.
on what income? I asked Yale about this and it's 1x income. also what did you put in as a "handful" of other assets. like what about the 529s for 3 kids.
See, I believe Columbia is 2x income which I why I used that originally.
Assumptions for Yale were $200k income, $5k in interest/dividend income, $70k in checking/savings, $50k in investments, $50k additional in sibling assets, $5k in income and assets each for the student. $1.2 million in home equity as previously indicated. Seem like fairly generous assumptions.
Did the same for Cornell and it spit out $42k in contribution with the school covering $51k. Getting closer but still not that close.
Agree there are large missing assets to this story. Or. OP is a troll.
I stated explicitly in my original post that my sister has a good deal of home equity but it's not about to sell her long time home to send her child to college. I think we can all agree that the middle class gets screwed in this process. Several other teachers have commented here in similar situations. You make too much for meaningful aid but not nearly enough that you can afford such a huge sticker price. And people should not have to sell their houses to send their kids to college. Which my sister is not going to do. My niece will probably end up at her state flagship and be fine. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't stink to have to tell your child that you cannot afford their dream college after they work their butt off for years and years. Can't we all agree on that?
Anonymous
03/29/2026 06:07
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
I haven’t read the entire thread, but important information seems to be missing. How much home equity are we talking about, OP? Aside from income, schools expect non-retirement savings, yearly retirement contributions, 529 funds, etc. to be put toward college expenses.
Anonymous
03/28/2026 23:26
Subject: When the reality of college cost hits. Cannot do dream school.
Why let them apply then if afraid of dissappoinment? NPC would’ve told them COA. And would have avoided this situation.