Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope these pointless and EXPENSIVE traditions die with the Boomers. As a millennial, I don’t need a thank you, especially for a wedding gift. The open bar was my thank you.

Cool. Then I hope the tradition of giving expensive wedding gifts ends as well.

This! I will add that another tradition that needs to die is the expectation that I will send a couple an expensive gift although I am not able to attend the wedding. Or that I need to spend a certain amount to cover the cost of my plate if I do attend your wedding.

Such fussy old traditions I’m sure the under-30 set won’t mi$$ the$e “boomer” tradition$

- genX

Boomers were never tacky and asking for meal payments or cash for trips.

They sure were tacky enough to register for useless china knickknacks and silver candlesticks, and ARE tacky enough to try to foist them off on younger people at every turn. No, Linda, we don’t want your hideous gravy boat. Stop with the guilt trip.

Not everone enjoys using silver and fine china. A lot of these opinions reflect one's background.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I attended a wedding recently and just received a postcard thank-you for the wedding gift. I had no idea this was a thing! On one side, it had a photo of the couple. On the other side, there were a few pre-printed lines about how lucky the couple is, and then just two short handwritten lines thanking me specifically for my gift, and in the most generic way possible (basically: thank you for the X, we really appreciate it). There were exactly sixteen handwritten words in the whole thing.

Honestly, my middle schooler could have written a more personalized and appreciative thank you: We plan to use your generous gift to do X, we hope to see you at X so we can catch up and tell you about the honeymoon, etc.

Has anyone else felt annoyed by this apparent wedding trend, or am I just being grumpy?

I think this is fine, the personalized notes are also fill in the blank (witness your example above). Just be happy they thanked you in a timely manner. It took us a year to send out thank you cards because writing long, personalized cards was such a pain in the butt.

Proper ones are not that way. You actually handwrite out your appreciation. Shocking, I know, but if guests dump a couple of hundred dollars on a gift, the couple can sit down and scribble out a note.

This line of thinking is inane. But enjoy your rage I guess. Must be fun to get upset about things like this.

Anonymous wrote:I am solidly Team OP. When I am fortunate enough to be invited to a wedding, not only do I try to find a registry gift that seems meaningful (and is expensive) or I give a generous check. I ALSO take time to hand write a note that is personal and celebrates the couple, the event, and their future together. I am gracious at the even, thank the couple and any parent hosts for including me, etc.

I don’t think it is too much to ask that adults who are old enough to get married, have a fancy and expensive wedding, and expect (yes, of course they do) gifts to spend a whole 5-7 minutes to hand write a thank you note that shows gratitude for the effort I (and every other guest) put into their wedding. Same for bar/bat mitzvahs, confirmations, quincieneras, sweet sixteens, graduations, etc.

I’m old, I guess, and tired of living in what feels more and more like a transactional social environment where nothing has any human touch anymore.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was raised that the polite thing to do is write a personalized thank you note so I did that. I was fortunate though, I was between jobs, so while I was overwhelmed with moving and other things, I could make the time. If I was working full time, and managing a bunch of other things, I would have to cut corners and at least it includes a thank you.

I have gotten over pearl clutching these days. I try to do what i think is the right thing and have grace when I think others don't. I remind myself that i don't know what they have going on and I'd rather not add to anyone's stress. I also have better boundaries about just declining that family destination wedding for someone I am not close to, etc.

But here is the thing. If a bride and a groom are willing to receive a gift, then they should be able to properly thank the gift giver. It has nothing to do with whether you are working or not working or busy or not. If your arms are open to receiving gifts, then they should be open to writing a thank you note. It really is that simple.

Anonymous wrote:All the cool young kids who think it’s old fashioned to be expected to write thank you notes- you have no idea how grasping and greedy you all look, planning your destination weddings and asking for money (!) for things like houses and honeymoons. If you don’t want to write a thank you note, don’t expect people to fork out for your wedding!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I attended a wedding recently and just received a postcard thank-you for the wedding gift. I had no idea this was a thing! On one side, it had a photo of the couple. On the other side, there were a few pre-printed lines about how lucky the couple is, and then just two short handwritten lines thanking me specifically for my gift, and in the most generic way possible (basically: thank you for the X, we really appreciate it). There were exactly sixteen handwritten words in the whole thing.

Honestly, my middle schooler could have written a more personalized and appreciative thank you: We plan to use your generous gift to do X, we hope to see you at X so we can catch up and tell you about the honeymoon, etc.

Has anyone else felt annoyed by this apparent wedding trend, or am I just being grumpy?

I think this is fine, the personalized notes are also fill in the blank (witness your example above). Just be happy they thanked you in a timely manner. It took us a year to send out thank you cards because writing long, personalized cards was such a pain in the butt.

Proper ones are not that way. You actually handwrite out your appreciation. Shocking, I know, but if guests dump a couple of hundred dollars on a gift, the couple can sit down and scribble out a note.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All I care about is making sure the gift was received. So any sort of acknowledgement is fine. They can text me a thank you for all I care.

SAME

Anonymous wrote:All I care about is making sure the gift was received. So any sort of acknowledgement is fine. They can text me a thank you for all I care.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I attended a wedding recently and just received a postcard thank-you for the wedding gift. I had no idea this was a thing! On one side, it had a photo of the couple. On the other side, there were a few pre-printed lines about how lucky the couple is, and then just two short handwritten lines thanking me specifically for my gift, and in the most generic way possible (basically: thank you for the X, we really appreciate it). There were exactly sixteen handwritten words in the whole thing.

Honestly, my middle schooler could have written a more personalized and appreciative thank you: We plan to use your generous gift to do X, we hope to see you at X so we can catch up and tell you about the honeymoon, etc.

Has anyone else felt annoyed by this apparent wedding trend, or am I just being grumpy?

I think this is fine, the personalized notes are also fill in the blank (witness your example above). Just be happy they thanked you in a timely manner. It took us a year to send out thank you cards because writing long, personalized cards was such a pain in the butt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hope these pointless and EXPENSIVE traditions die with the Boomers. As a millennial, I don’t need a thank you, especially for a wedding gift. The open bar was my thank you.

Cool. Then I hope the tradition of giving expensive wedding gifts ends as well.

This! I will add that another tradition that needs to die is the expectation that I will send a couple an expensive gift although I am not able to attend the wedding. Or that I need to spend a certain amount to cover the cost of my plate if I do attend your wedding.

Such fussy old traditions I’m sure the under-30 set won’t mi$$ the$e “boomer” tradition$

- genX

Boomers were never tacky and asking for meal payments or cash for trips.

They sure were tacky enough to register for useless china knickknacks and silver candlesticks, and ARE tacky enough to try to foist them off on younger people at every turn. No, Linda, we don’t want your hideous gravy boat. Stop with the guilt trip.

Anonymous wrote:I attended a wedding recently and just received a postcard thank-you for the wedding gift. I had no idea this was a thing! On one side, it had a photo of the couple. On the other side, there were a few pre-printed lines about how lucky the couple is, and then just two short handwritten lines thanking me specifically for my gift, and in the most generic way possible (basically: thank you for the X, we really appreciate it). There were exactly sixteen handwritten words in the whole thing.

Honestly, my middle schooler could have written a more personalized and appreciative thank you: We plan to use your generous gift to do X, we hope to see you at X so we can catch up and tell you about the honeymoon, etc.

Has anyone else felt annoyed by this apparent wedding trend, or am I just being grumpy?