Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband recently dropped a bombshell on me and asked to have an open relationship. He is telling me that he still loves me he just wants to hook up with other people but is not interested in dating anyone else. I’m really not sure what to think of this or how to respond. Just for context, I am in my 30s and we have two kids. We have been married for almost 8 years. I was very surprised about this conversation and kind of in shock, so I told him I needed some time to think. What should I say to him and how would you respond if your husband asked for permission to sleep around?

He has already had sex with someone else, OP. And it’s probably a regular thing.

BTDT with my ex-wife asking this question.

It didn’t end well.

Was your bedroom “dead?”

Yes.

Why do you have dead bedroom ? You are no longer attracted to him ?

I'm the husband. That's a complicated question rooted in medical reasons (cancer treatment) that morphed into drifting apart. Separate bedrooms for snoring (at least that was the lie we told ourselves). Then I grew tired of being talked down to all the time so I withdrew more. Wasn't about to cheat and didn't want to see my kids half the time or less, so I endured it. Finally, she decided I was the source of her unhappiness and was encouraged by a therapist to "self-actualize." So, she hooked up with a business partner. I found out, we separated. Kids teens by then. Custody was 50-50 on paper but they chose to be with me 90% of the time. Seven years on, kids are launched, I'm happy and remarried and from what I hear, she's still miserable. At least the cancer didn't come back.

She asked ME for the Open Marriage, even telling me there was "no side piece." It was one of the many lies I discovered.

Anonymous wrote:So have you discussed and tried to address the dead bedroom issue by other means ? And if yes, what is he supposed to do ? Divorce ? Maybe he’s trying to save marriage and this is his last resort

His "last resort" is fu**ing other women? Don't get married. You sound delusional.

Anonymous wrote:I think you should grant it! Reality is going to be a huge slap in the face for him if he is a random late 30s dad who just wants to “hook up” with other women. Meanwhile, any woman could EASILY hook up with other men. “Sorry husband, I’m leaving to hook up with a Tinder guy, he’s a single 28 year old fitness trainer!” That could be you LOL.

She definitely needs to find the hottest dudes to parade around him.

A lot of men take their wives for granted after a few years. They don't see you as a sexual being any more. But other men sure will. Maybe he needs that wake up call.

Anonymous wrote:So have you discussed and tried to address the dead bedroom issue by other means ? And if yes, what is he supposed to do ? Divorce ? Maybe he’s trying to save marriage and this is his last resort

NP but are you the same poster that has posted multiple times about the dead bedroom? It sounds like you have as many issues as OP’s husband.

If OP’s husband has an issue with their sex life he needed to talk to her about it.

Divorce.
He probably won't even ask for 50/50 custody esp. with little kids.
Sorry. He is the loser. Walk away now. Kids will be fine. Mine are so much happier.

Anonymous wrote:

So glad we're in a Christian marriage, where neither spouse has to worry about this happening.

+1

The "Christian marriage" husband would never go outside of marriage to be with another woman.

Other men, yes. Teenagers, probably. Definitely not another woman.

My aunt's ex husband was the minister and was sleeping with multiple married women in his congregation.

The Christians just tell their spouses "God has forgiven me, you're wrong not to."

Anonymous wrote:Only 8 years in with 2 little kids, you’re both only in your thirties and he already wants a buffet of strange? You might as well have purchased stock in the red flag factory. Dump this loser and find someone who will value and respect you.

Seems like they are sexless . It’s too early to have dead bedroom in the 30s.
But I think the whole thread is fake

Only 8 years in with 2 little kids, you’re both only in your thirties and he already wants a buffet of strange? You might as well have purchased stock in the red flag factory. Dump this loser and find someone who will value and respect you.

So have you discussed and tried to address the dead bedroom issue by other means ? And if yes, what is he supposed to do ? Divorce ? Maybe he’s trying to save marriage and this is his last resort

Also, while planning the divorce, you must not and I repeat YOU MUST NOT have sex with this nasty man. The number of women who have caught an STD on the way out of marriage to an unfaithful man might shock you. Don't end up with a permanent reminder of what a loser this man was.

Say yes, then plan your divorce and blindside him. I'm very serious.

So glad we're in a Christian marriage, where neither spouse has to worry about this happening.

+1

The "Christian marriage" husband would never go outside of marriage to be with another woman.

Other men, yes. Teenagers, probably. Definitely not another woman.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband recently dropped a bombshell on me and asked to have an open relationship. He is telling me that he still loves me he just wants to hook up with other people but is not interested in dating anyone else. I’m really not sure what to think of this or how to respond. Just for context, I am in my 30s and we have two kids. We have been married for almost 8 years. I was very surprised about this conversation and kind of in shock, so I told him I needed some time to think. What should I say to him and how would you respond if your husband asked for permission to sleep around?

He has already had sex with someone else, OP. And it’s probably a regular thing.

BTDT with my ex-wife asking this question.

It didn’t end well.

Was your bedroom “dead?”

Yes.

Why do you have dead bedroom ? You are no longer attracted to him ?

I think you should grant it! Reality is going to be a huge slap in the face for him if he is a random late 30s dad who just wants to “hook up” with other women. Meanwhile, any woman could EASILY hook up with other men. “Sorry husband, I’m leaving to hook up with a Tinder guy, he’s a single 28 year old fitness trainer!” That could be you LOL.

I know someone who had an open marriage for a time. The wife agreed to it and then later on, decided she wasn’t open to it anymore.

I don’t think it made the marriage any happier and it didn’t make the husband (who was the one who asked for it) any happier either. They’re still together, but not sure how happy they are.

If your husband wants an open relationship, personally, I don’t know what it will solve. If he wants to look elsewhere, I would really consider divorce.