Anonymous wrote:I'm happy you're happy, but stop equating the success/failure of the children to their parents' parenting styles!!!

It worked for you. Great. I think my close-supervision style of parenting works well for me and my kids too. DCUM naturally attracts the type A, perfectionist types who found their way to the DC area, not by accident.

But the truth is: we all have parenting propensities that fit our personalities and psychological profiles! I could not possibly be a live-and-let-live parent. It's out of the range of my functionalities The laissez-faire parents are like that because that's how their brain works as well. They probably could not easily force themselves to parent in any other way. And I'm sure that works for most of their kids.

You're not understanding the underlying human psychology here.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have twins who also made it into elite universities (freshmen at Ivies) after some reasonably heavy and involved parenting and a lot of ups and downs in high school: lack of motivation from time-to-time, anxiety, ADHD for one, some drinking (no vaping). Basically super involved parents and some good, bad and ugly of teenage life.

I remember the relief of thinking "huh, we did it" but I'm hear to report that it all still continues in college: mood disorders, struggles with self-motivation (not with academics so far but in developing passions/interests), drinking, etc. Sure they "made it" but in 2025, ATTENDING AN IVY is really not all that in and of itself. It's probably a good launching point but the rat race only continues on. For good internships, jobs, graduate schools the kids all need the top college grades, top clubs, top everything and a whole lot of self motivation and organization.

Relax, catch your breath and start crossing your fingers and praying. That's what I'm doing. I can't manage from afar so I hope it all works out.

Yeah, I think we're where you were when you thought, "huh, we did it." Yes, LOTS of heavy parenting to get him into top school and I realize the race continues. Celebrating the last 6 months of senior year and summer.

In a way, drinking too much that first time and ending up in the hospital (that was us as parents overreacting) wasn't the worst thing. It opened up the discussion around drinking. Allowed us to set strict rules for senior year (no drinking, no vaping - with drug tests and checks). So I'm hoping it will help with what we all know can be a rough entry to college life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many of you who are criticizing OP for her lack of social intelligence and similar are forgetting that DCUM is anonymous. Many of us post things on here that we would never breathe a word of in real life. In fact, that is why we post on here. Because we have solid family and friend relationships and a high social EQ and never say a braggy or obnoxious thing to others (and never on social media) but there is a tiny part of us us that just wants to say out loud:

"I am so excited for my kid!!! We were at an incredibly low point when he came home drunk and we took him to the hospital but HOLY CRAP IT ALL WORKED OUT OK!" but there is no way to say this to ANYONE in real life--not to best friends, not even to grandparents.

I imagine that this is what is going on here. DCUM serves an anonymous brain dump and form of therapy for so many of us. I am not OP but I can completely imagine posting what she did.

OP here. This. I would never say this in real life. It was nice to anonymously say exactly what this poster states. That I'm excited for my kid. And we were at an all time low with the hospital (that we couldn't talk to any family about, even my mom with whom I'mso close. But she wouldn'tbe able to take it). And that it is nice to celebrate wins (while fully understanding the luck and privilege we have).

Op, think about why you have no one in your life with whom you can share your child's accomplishments and failures and your mistakes. Spend some time reflecting and realize what that says about you as a person. Try to be a better person, friend, neighbor, colleague, daughter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many of you who are criticizing OP for her lack of social intelligence and similar are forgetting that DCUM is anonymous. Many of us post things on here that we would never breathe a word of in real life. In fact, that is why we post on here. Because we have solid family and friend relationships and a high social EQ and never say a braggy or obnoxious thing to others (and never on social media) but there is a tiny part of us us that just wants to say out loud:

"I am so excited for my kid!!! We were at an incredibly low point when he came home drunk and we took him to the hospital but HOLY CRAP IT ALL WORKED OUT OK!" but there is no way to say this to ANYONE in real life--not to best friends, not even to grandparents.

I imagine that this is what is going on here. DCUM serves an anonymous brain dump and form of therapy for so many of us. I am not OP but I can completely imagine posting what she did.

OP here. This. I would never say this in real life. It was nice to anonymously say exactly what this poster states. That I'm excited for my kid. And we were at an all time low with the hospital (that we couldn't talk to any family about, even my mom with whom I'mso close. But she wouldn'tbe able to take it). And that it is nice to celebrate wins (while fully understanding the luck and privilege we have).

Op, think about why you have no one in your life with whom you can share your child's accomplishments and failures and your mistakes. Spend some time reflecting and realize what that says about you as a person. Try to be a better person, friend, neighbor, colleague, daughter.

Anonymous wrote:A few years ago I had a friend who bragged about how she got her kid into University of Alabama and then into a particular sorority. She talked about all the strings she pulled to make it happen. It took all the control I could muster to avoid laughing in her face. After than, I could no longer be her friend...just couldn't unsee that side of her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many of you who are criticizing OP for her lack of social intelligence and similar are forgetting that DCUM is anonymous. Many of us post things on here that we would never breathe a word of in real life. In fact, that is why we post on here. Because we have solid family and friend relationships and a high social EQ and never say a braggy or obnoxious thing to others (and never on social media) but there is a tiny part of us us that just wants to say out loud:

"I am so excited for my kid!!! We were at an incredibly low point when he came home drunk and we took him to the hospital but HOLY CRAP IT ALL WORKED OUT OK!" but there is no way to say this to ANYONE in real life--not to best friends, not even to grandparents.

I imagine that this is what is going on here. DCUM serves an anonymous brain dump and form of therapy for so many of us. I am not OP but I can completely imagine posting what she did.

OP here. This. I would never say this in real life. It was nice to anonymously say exactly what this poster states. That I'm excited for my kid. And we were at an all time low with the hospital (that we couldn't talk to any family about, even my mom with whom I'mso close. But she wouldn'tbe able to take it). And that it is nice to celebrate wins (while fully understanding the luck and privilege we have).

Anonymous wrote:I think many of you who are criticizing OP for her lack of social intelligence and similar are forgetting that DCUM is anonymous. Many of us post things on here that we would never breathe a word of in real life. In fact, that is why we post on here. Because we have solid family and friend relationships and a high social EQ and never say a braggy or obnoxious thing to others (and never on social media) but there is a tiny part of us us that just wants to say out loud:

"I am so excited for my kid!!! We were at an incredibly low point when he came home drunk and we took him to the hospital but HOLY CRAP IT ALL WORKED OUT OK!" but there is no way to say this to ANYONE in real life--not to best friends, not even to grandparents.

I imagine that this is what is going on here. DCUM serves an anonymous brain dump and form of therapy for so many of us. I am not OP but I can completely imagine posting what she did.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think many of you who are criticizing OP for her lack of social intelligence and similar are forgetting that DCUM is anonymous. Many of us post things on here that we would never breathe a word of in real life. In fact, that is why we post on here. Because we have solid family and friend relationships and a high social EQ and never say a braggy or obnoxious thing to others (and never on social media) but there is a tiny part of us us that just wants to say out loud:

"I am so excited for my kid!!! We were at an incredibly low point when he came home drunk and we took him to the hospital but HOLY CRAP IT ALL WORKED OUT OK!" but there is no way to say this to ANYONE in real life--not to best friends, not even to grandparents.

I imagine that this is what is going on here. DCUM serves an anonymous brain dump and form of therapy for so many of us. I am not OP but I can completely imagine posting what she did.

OP here. This. I would never say this in real life. It was nice to anonymously say exactly what this poster states. That I'm excited for my kid. And we were at an all time low with the hospital (that we couldn't talk to any family about, even my mom with whom I'mso close. But she wouldn'tbe able to take it). And that it is nice to celebrate wins (while fully understanding the luck and privilege we have).

Anonymous wrote:I think many of you who are criticizing OP for her lack of social intelligence and similar are forgetting that DCUM is anonymous. Many of us post things on here that we would never breathe a word of in real life. In fact, that is why we post on here. Because we have solid family and friend relationships and a high social EQ and never say a braggy or obnoxious thing to others (and never on social media) but there is a tiny part of us us that just wants to say out loud:

"I am so excited for my kid!!! We were at an incredibly low point when he came home drunk and we took him to the hospital but HOLY CRAP IT ALL WORKED OUT OK!" but there is no way to say this to ANYONE in real life--not to best friends, not even to grandparents.

I imagine that this is what is going on here. DCUM serves an anonymous brain dump and form of therapy for so many of us. I am not OP but I can completely imagine posting what she did.

Anonymous wrote:


OP here. This. I would never say this in real life. It was nice to anonymously say exactly what this poster states. That I'm excited for my kid. And we were at an all time low with the hospital (that we couldn't talk to any family about, even my mom with whom I'mso close. But she wouldn'tbe able to take it). And that it is nice to celebrate wins (while fully understanding the luck and privilege we have).

Anonymous wrote:A college admit is not winning at parenting. It’s winning at the game of college admissions.