[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]a) this kid must be smart, poised, and polished;

b) this kid must be spoiled;

c) lucky kid;

d) his parents must be insane or strivers or both.

e) all of the above.


[/quote]

I think nothing until I ask them a thought provoking question and listen to what comes out of their mouth with a handicap given for the fact that they are under the raging influence of testosterone and pregesterone. If they say something un-original and trite I assume: spoiled kid who probably has insane parents or at least pre-occupied ones.


If they answer thoughtfully and have something original to share, I don't think "lucky kid" . I think that I just met an interesting person and that they probably earned their spot and they probably have interesting parents too.[/quote]


You read a responsive, non-snarky, and thoughtful replly to a DCUM post and you think to yourself:

a) Hallelujah!
b) There is hope for DCUM, the moms that populate it, and perhaps humanity as a whole.
c) Party pooper.
d) Is it already April 1st?
e) I need some of her weed.
[/quote]











Intereseting!

12:58 - would you mind listing those schools? you don't have to identify the one your DC attends but it'd be great to see the list you found worth applying to.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Me too! Except I think, "I'm no longer worried that we turned down the top 3 for the MoCo magnet."

Off topic: What is it that drives so many public school parents on DCUM to take unsolicited potshots at private schools? Of course I know the bullets fly both directions, and I've seen plenty of private school parents here make obnoxious comments about public schools. And when the public & private parents get into trading insults and brags, both sides get ugly. But it really seems to me like there are a ton of unsolicited jabs at private schools from public school parents. Hardly a day goes by on DCUM without some public school parent taking a shot. Why is that?

I don't think public school parents are any meaner than private school parents. And I don't think it's jealousy because they clearly don't like private schools. So I can't understand what drive so many public school parents to start unprovoked fights. I'm not trying to start a fight. This is a serious (but perhaps naive) question. Any ideas?

TIA

I suspect that a lot of these private-bashing public school parents are scorned applicants who still look for any opportunity to grind their axes. I also suspect there are a fair number who feel guilty or inadequate about either a) not having the wherewithal to afford the tuition or b) being too cheap to pay it and are looking to publicly justify their relative positions in some cathartic way. I would say these two segments account for the vast majority of snark. Those who are truly comfortable with sending their kids to public school would have no reason or impulse to respond one way or the other.

We were more than willing to try the elementary public school in our area. We even went to talk to the principal. Our daughter has been extensively tested and with loads of outside coursework, etc. The public school principal said the evaluation, etc. of our daughter (to mark her as 'gifted') would take a full year and that no additional services could be offered until the following year. I just couldn't do that to the poor girl. I think if she had to sit in a large class of students doing work that she'd done years ago, she'd go stark raving mad. Made me sick just to think about it. That's why we started looking at private schools. We needed a school with lots of extra-options (music, instrumentation, foreign languages, etc.) that could keep my daughter engaged. The class sizes had to be small, so that she could get the extra exchange and discussion (i.e. teacher-student time) that she would need. We also would need scholarship aid.

The attitudes of the admissions officers at some of the schools we visited were surprising and sometimes even ugly. One school told us that our daughter would have to do her math somewhere other than school. Another school said that there was no way any student would ever be qualified to advance grades (instead of placement by age). Other schools were very receptive. The ones we liked the most and actually applied to were ones that said, "We'll let you know if we can do it." Or, "Let's see what the fit will be." It was a difficult process, but it looks like all has turned out well (so far).

Good luck, Everyone.

Anonymous wrote:13:58. I agree with assessment of the situation.

I agree as well.

14:07, you are in denial. It happens. You'd be shocked. I'm not trying to be rude or patronizing. But my son, an '07 grad of a big 3 school, is very open with me. I'm horrified by how early and often these hard drugs are abused by high school students. Frequent venues for ecstasy include rave concerts, large house parties or any trip to Europe. Cocaine is done less socially; usually with just a few kids. Magic mushrooms are used when the weather is nice, because it's a "connection with nature". I know, it's scary that I know this much.

I think that unless your parents are careful, you'll turn out to be a jerk.

Anonymous wrote:give me a break pp

9:23 here. 13:58 wrote what I delicately did not type. Give you a break? What are you the host parent?

When I meet a big 3 student, I think to myself... wow, if his parents had sent him to public school and invested all the money they are spending in his name, he'd have over $500K by the time he got to college.

13:58. I agree with assessment of the situation.

give me a break pp

Kids at big 3 schools, along with most other schools in the area, don't just experiment with pot/alcohol; they use ecstasy, cocaine, shrooms, salvia...the works. But they can choose a path: a) the path where the student develops a truly destructive habit of abuse in college, or b) the path that doesn't lead to any abuse, but rather occasional experimentation, because the initial thrill of the drug has worn off.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is a lot of drinking at independent schools. The kids are under a lot of pressure and they want a break from it. The thing that really surprises me is how many parents turn a blind eye to it. Or maybe they really don't know that there is kid gets drunk every weekend. But a lot of them do. I won't guess at percentages because I really have no idea but we hear a lot about it during meals in our house. It's not the case of one or two kids repeatedly getting in trouble. It's a new story and a new kid almost every week.

I am in my 40s and there were lots of drunk highschoolers in the 80s (and some stoners too but not much hard drugs). But the kids I knew in highschool who got drunk ended up not being as wild in college. Highschoolers have a level of protection (living with parents or boarding school teachers) that college age kids dont have. Yes, some kids experiment a lot in boarding school or highschool but I think that is better than experimenting in college. More of those kids got either very badly taken advcantage of or in serious trouble (DUIs, hit and runs, date rape, etc...).

Kids who drank/smoked in HS continue in college. They don't just drink in HS because of pressure-that is an excuse. Parents stocked bars are a source of hard liquor plus the volume available might indicate they knowingly supply.

Out of those who try nothing it can be due to lack of opportunity - not invited to parties. Others are social and choose not to drink/do pot. Parents sit in their house with 10-50+ kids outside and in the basement. None look out for the kids and if any have a problem the other kids deal with it. Cool parents and their kids run frat-like operations.

It's like a beach house- you may have a great property and the neighbor does group rentals.

If a Beauvoir, Sidwell, or Maret student, I think to myself I cannot believe you took my DC's slot.

It's really no big deal. If my DS wants to smoke a little herbage at our crib who cares? I don't let him drink hard liquor but beer and wine are fine. Better they get it at home than at school. The other night we had grandpa over and we played beer pong and I'll tell you what the old fart has pretty good aim. And porn? Sex is normal. Why objectify porn. As a matter of fact we rented a few spank flicks for Thanksgiving eve at our country cabin. Looks like me and the Mrs. are going to have to go for a late night stroll if you get my drift.

Anonymous wrote:There is a lot of drinking at independent schools. The kids are under a lot of pressure and they want a break from it. The thing that really surprises me is how many parents turn a blind eye to it. Or maybe they really don't know that there is kid gets drunk every weekend. But a lot of them do. I won't guess at percentages because I really have no idea but we hear a lot about it during meals in our house. It's not the case of one or two kids repeatedly getting in trouble. It's a new story and a new kid almost every week.

I am in my 40s and there were lots of drunk highschoolers in the 80s (and some stoners too but not much hard drugs). But the kids I knew in highschool who got drunk ended up not being as wild in college. Highschoolers have a level of protection (living with parents or boarding school teachers) that college age kids dont have. Yes, some kids experiment a lot in boarding school or highschool but I think that is better than experimenting in college. More of those kids got either very badly taken advcantage of or in serious trouble (DUIs, hit and runs, date rape, etc...).

I would say that the vast majority of the parents of freshmn and sophmore parents underestimate the amount of drinking and getting high. By junior and senior year, parents are more aware but i'd say, still under appreciating how much is really going on.