Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 15:06     Subject: Another Cornell death this fall
Anonymous wrote:Cornell grad here. Cornell serves many academic niches, but there is no distinct identity or cohesive sense of community. People who are joiners or who have another form of built-in social network usually do fine, but the lack of community magnifies any vulnerabilities a student might have. Socially awkward, high achieving, high family pressure or dysfunctional family background, wildly different coping mechanisms…


The identity is "Any person. Any study." You have to address this in an essay when you apply. There are other cultural aspects that are common. Difficult grading has been part of Cornell's identity for decades. Because it always had more of what DCUM calls "strivers". People with intense or specialized academic interests who are not from wealthy families. Perfectionism and the hollowness of academic success are issues for kids raised on an excellence treadmill. That's not a Cornell problem. It's an Ivy problem. And even professor's kids are struggling based on news reports.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 14:58     Subject: Another Cornell death this fall
Cornell grad here. Cornell serves many academic niches, but there is no distinct identity or cohesive sense of community. People who are joiners or who have another form of built-in social network usually do fine, but the lack of community magnifies any vulnerabilities a student might have. Socially awkward, high achieving, high family pressure or dysfunctional family background, wildly different coping mechanisms…
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 14:08     Subject: Re:Another Cornell death this fall
A friend of mine committed suicide in college at Ithaca. Seasonal depression can get real, and upstate NY is as gloomy as it gets.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 13:58     Subject: Another Cornell death this fall
College suicides have been a problem for decades. I think things have actually improved.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 13:48     Subject: Re:Another Cornell death this fall
Anonymous wrote:
Hi Tiger mom, why you chose Cornell for your DC?

It's obviously not a good fit for your DC. Your DC should go to a T50 and hopefully excel there. Many of the T50 are still test optional, so no SAT is needed. Cornell is not for everyone.


I think you missed the point. I'm the opposite of a tiger mom....I think the amount of pressure HS (and college) kids are experiencing right now has gotten out of hand and my words reflect that.

Phrases like "Your DC should go to a T50 and hopefully excel there" illustrate this. Let's put down a kid who doesn't like Cornell and send them to a T50, as if it's some kind of "you're not good enough" message.



You know what is the problem?

You think going to T50 is sending a “you are not good enough” message—you have a problem!

Ivy or bust. That’s the problem.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 13:02     Subject: Another Cornell death this fall
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't think the weather is the issue at cornell. When I visited with my kid, i just felt it was big and sprawling campus, and to me, it felt disconnected. We spoke with several kids at the dining hall, and around campus...they all talked about how many hours they studied and how competitive it was... for greek, grades, clubs, etc. I personally felt it would be easy to feel isolated and lonely there, particularly if under academic or social stress. Cornell has some great academic programs, but I was happy that my kid applied/is attending elsewhere.


I sadly think this is accurate.
I’m the OP.


My kid did not like Cornell when we visited. The huge sprawling campus along with the attitude that the university didn't seem to care. No tours, the students at the visitor center couldn't answer any more than "here's a map, enjoy your self guided tour". SOrtof got the idea that if you attend, you would be met with similar attitudes from the university. So they didn't apply.



They do have reservable campus tours. Including when they say all of them are fully booked up. We went to a pre-booked admissions overview lecture in August when the tours were all booked up and they added extra walking tours for anyone who came to the lecture.

I think colleges have shifted away from open access campus tours in the digital age. There is excess demand. Plus people have a tendency to no-show for free events.

I went to Toronto and wanted to tour U of T. It said only for prospective students and my high school freshman refused to wake up early to play prospective. So I didn't go.

However, when I was a kid, campuses were more "walk in and go on a tour".
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 12:05     Subject: Another Cornell death this fall
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't think the weather is the issue at cornell. When I visited with my kid, i just felt it was big and sprawling campus, and to me, it felt disconnected. We spoke with several kids at the dining hall, and around campus...they all talked about how many hours they studied and how competitive it was... for greek, grades, clubs, etc. I personally felt it would be easy to feel isolated and lonely there, particularly if under academic or social stress. Cornell has some great academic programs, but I was happy that my kid applied/is attending elsewhere.


I sadly think this is accurate.
I’m the OP.


My kid did not like Cornell when we visited. The huge sprawling campus along with the attitude that the university didn't seem to care. No tours, the students at the visitor center couldn't answer any more than "here's a map, enjoy your self guided tour". SOrtof got the idea that if you attend, you would be met with similar attitudes from the university. So they didn't apply.



Cornell grad here and yea, that about sums it up. I don’t want my kids to go there. Honestly I’d doubt they’d get in this days. As competitive as it was when I went, it’s even more so now.


yes (I'm the PP) and add in the remoteness of it and difficulty to get home from there didn't help. We are west coast. The weather was not a factor, as my kid ended up 1.5 hours away in similar weather. But while it's 2 flights home, they are 2-3 miles/10 min ride from the airport with a much larger town. And a school that definately has cared much more about students. We went from Cornell to this one when doing tours and it was night and day difference. If I'm paying $90K+ for my kid to attend, we expect something for that from the school.

Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 09:33     Subject: Re:Another Cornell death this fall
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
The pressure we are putting HS kids and then college kids under is not good


I agree wholeheartedly. The amount of pressure all around - the classes you take, grades, did you do "enough" of the right things, or enough any of the things, what is your SAT score, take the SAT again until you raise your score, not being able to tell people where you're applying for fear you won't get in, the Instagram pages at the High Schools with outcomes. I could go on and on. I'm sure anyone who has current or recent HS grads could as well.

I'm not sure what happened to.....just being a HS student, taking challenging classes YOU LIKED/were good in, being excited about getting your drivers license, having fun at a football game (or going to support your friends at their sport), participating on a sports team, maybe trying a new sport (for fun!??), playing an instrument because it gave you joy, having a bf or gf and hanging out with friends. The whole HS experience has just become so more more more, and not in a good way.

I feel for these kids. Be sure to tell yours they are loved, and it's all going to be ok in the long run.


Hi Tiger mom, why you chose Cornell for your DC?

It's obviously not a good fit for your DC. Your DC should go to a T50 and hopefully excel there. Many of the T50 are still test optional, so no SAT is needed. Cornell is not for everyone.


You are an insufferable idiot.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 09:26     Subject: Re:Another Cornell death this fall
Hi Tiger mom, why you chose Cornell for your DC?

It's obviously not a good fit for your DC. Your DC should go to a T50 and hopefully excel there. Many of the T50 are still test optional, so no SAT is needed. Cornell is not for everyone.


I think you missed the point. I'm the opposite of a tiger mom....I think the amount of pressure HS (and college) kids are experiencing right now has gotten out of hand and my words reflect that.

Phrases like "Your DC should go to a T50 and hopefully excel there" illustrate this. Let's put down a kid who doesn't like Cornell and send them to a T50, as if it's some kind of "you're not good enough" message.

Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 09:01     Subject: Re:Another Cornell death this fall
Anonymous wrote:
The pressure we are putting HS kids and then college kids under is not good


I agree wholeheartedly. The amount of pressure all around - the classes you take, grades, did you do "enough" of the right things, or enough any of the things, what is your SAT score, take the SAT again until you raise your score, not being able to tell people where you're applying for fear you won't get in, the Instagram pages at the High Schools with outcomes. I could go on and on. I'm sure anyone who has current or recent HS grads could as well.

I'm not sure what happened to.....just being a HS student, taking challenging classes YOU LIKED/were good in, being excited about getting your drivers license, having fun at a football game (or going to support your friends at their sport), participating on a sports team, maybe trying a new sport (for fun!??), playing an instrument because it gave you joy, having a bf or gf and hanging out with friends. The whole HS experience has just become so more more more, and not in a good way.

I feel for these kids. Be sure to tell yours they are loved, and it's all going to be ok in the long run.


Hi Tiger mom, why you chose Cornell for your DC?

It's obviously not a good fit for your DC. Your DC should go to a T50 and hopefully excel there. Many of the T50 are still test optional, so no SAT is needed. Cornell is not for everyone.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 08:56     Subject: Re:Another Cornell death this fall
Anonymous wrote:
The pressure we are putting HS kids and then college kids under is not good


I agree wholeheartedly. The amount of pressure all around - the classes you take, grades, did you do "enough" of the right things, or enough any of the things, what is your SAT score, take the SAT again until you raise your score, not being able to tell people where you're applying for fear you won't get in, the Instagram pages at the High Schools with outcomes. I could go on and on. I'm sure anyone who has current or recent HS grads could as well.

I'm not sure what happened to.....just being a HS student, taking challenging classes YOU LIKED/were good in, being excited about getting your drivers license, having fun at a football game (or going to support your friends at their sport), participating on a sports team, maybe trying a new sport (for fun!??), playing an instrument because it gave you joy, having a bf or gf and hanging out with friends. The whole HS experience has just become so more more more, and not in a good way.

I feel for these kids. Be sure to tell yours they are loved, and it's all going to be ok in the long run.


You can still raise your kids this way, but it requires a lot of thought and actively working against your own biases, ego and peer pressure in your community/family.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 08:13     Subject: Another Cornell death this fall
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't think the weather is the issue at cornell. When I visited with my kid, i just felt it was big and sprawling campus, and to me, it felt disconnected. We spoke with several kids at the dining hall, and around campus...they all talked about how many hours they studied and how competitive it was... for greek, grades, clubs, etc. I personally felt it would be easy to feel isolated and lonely there, particularly if under academic or social stress. Cornell has some great academic programs, but I was happy that my kid applied/is attending elsewhere.


I sadly think this is accurate.
I’m the OP.


My kid did not like Cornell when we visited. The huge sprawling campus along with the attitude that the university didn't seem to care. No tours, the students at the visitor center couldn't answer any more than "here's a map, enjoy your self guided tour". SOrtof got the idea that if you attend, you would be met with similar attitudes from the university. So they didn't apply.



Cornell grad here and yea, that about sums it up. I don’t want my kids to go there. Honestly I’d doubt they’d get in this days. As competitive as it was when I went, it’s even more so now.
Anonymous
Post 10/30/2025 08:09     Subject: Re:Another Cornell death this fall
Anonymous wrote:
The pressure we are putting HS kids and then college kids under is not good


I agree wholeheartedly. The amount of pressure all around - the classes you take, grades, did you do "enough" of the right things, or enough any of the things, what is your SAT score, take the SAT again until you raise your score, not being able to tell people where you're applying for fear you won't get in, the Instagram pages at the High Schools with outcomes. I could go on and on. I'm sure anyone who has current or recent HS grads could as well.

I'm not sure what happened to.....just being a HS student, taking challenging classes YOU LIKED/were good in, being excited about getting your drivers license, having fun at a football game (or going to support your friends at their sport), participating on a sports team, maybe trying a new sport (for fun!??), playing an instrument because it gave you joy, having a bf or gf and hanging out with friends. The whole HS experience has just become so more more more, and not in a good way.

I feel for these kids. Be sure to tell yours they are loved, and it's all going to be ok in the long run.


Unfortunately the race to do more more and more doesn’t end when they get to college or when they start working..
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2025 20:44     Subject: Re:Another Cornell death this fall
The pressure we are putting HS kids and then college kids under is not good


I agree wholeheartedly. The amount of pressure all around - the classes you take, grades, did you do "enough" of the right things, or enough any of the things, what is your SAT score, take the SAT again until you raise your score, not being able to tell people where you're applying for fear you won't get in, the Instagram pages at the High Schools with outcomes. I could go on and on. I'm sure anyone who has current or recent HS grads could as well.

I'm not sure what happened to.....just being a HS student, taking challenging classes YOU LIKED/were good in, being excited about getting your drivers license, having fun at a football game (or going to support your friends at their sport), participating on a sports team, maybe trying a new sport (for fun!??), playing an instrument because it gave you joy, having a bf or gf and hanging out with friends. The whole HS experience has just become so more more more, and not in a good way.

I feel for these kids. Be sure to tell yours they are loved, and it's all going to be ok in the long run.
Anonymous
Post 10/29/2025 20:31     Subject: Another Cornell death this fall
Anonymous wrote:In terms of Cornell doesn’t their hospitality program have grade inflation and good job placement?


My kid is in the hotel administration school. I promise you that there is not grade inflation. However the job placement is excellent. She already has a great internship lined up for this summer.