Your "kids" are just like any other adult. They invite you, or they don't. They do the responsible thing and communicate their expectations - it's their house. Adults relationships shouldn't be based on guessing what that other person means to say/or wants. Make communication clear. No one is a mind reader.

Signed, A parent of adult children. Some have us stay, some don't. Not very dependent on the size of their home. Sometimes it's event specific. Of course, we get a say/preference too - maybe we don't want to stay. Good relationship wi/all, no matter the hotel/no hotel decision.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the issue is not just letting them stay in her kid’s room at their house, it’s that they are also bad, inflexible guests. Running the TV at all hours at a high volume when there are little kids trying to sleep? Or waking up at 5 and puttering around while, again, kids are trying to sleep? During the school/work week on top of that?? That’s just bad manners. If they were respectful of the kids schedule and quiet at night, and helpful with the kids when they visited - that would be another story.

This 1000%! If you are a guest in someone's home, you should try to be respectful of their schedules especially with kids in the house who need to sleep well. If you are not willing to do so, then you stay at a hotel (leave at 7:30/8pm and return for breakfast)

No they do not need to show for breakfast….How annoying! 3 hr max visit daily is plenty then they need to get out of our hair. We have things to do!

Anonymous wrote:There is no convincing. They either stay in a hotel, or they don’t visit. They can complain all they want, but you have to do what is best for you and your kids.

Damn - in the words of the venerated Rick James, that’s cold blooded. I love it. Motel 6 it is for ol’ Uncle Don and Aunt Debbie

Anonymous wrote:I am Gen X so I raised myself lol. I am kind to my parents and my in-laws, but my DH and I are the parents/heads of our household. I see millennial parents on here really struggling because they seem, TBH, infantilized by their parents and to continue a very childlike role with them into adulthood and parenthood of their own kids. You are in charge. No need to be rude, but you can set the tone for everything from how to deal with your kids to whether to stay in your house. Just be more confident about your role.

Agree.
Can’t adult to their parents

They don’t wanna tell mommy and daddy who have funded their adult lives to include paying that down payment on that home no - you can’t stay

Imagine that?

Anonymous wrote:If they're your parents then you need to tell them they MAY NOT stay with you during the school week. If they're your spouse's parents they need to tell them. It's YOUR house. "You make the rules."

+1.

Yes, they’re elders and should be respected, but they’re also VERY rude guests. Respecting someone doesn’t mean putting up with all of their unreasonable demands.

Stand up for yourself— and your kids. (The fact that you also have an infant makes this whole situation even more insane— I can’t imagine being so rude.) You are in the right but don’t allow them to try to negotiate with you— tell them they can get a hotel, and that’s it. If you don’t hold this line, they will walk all over your boundaries every time.

Anonymous wrote:If the grandparents have money, they should give you a break snd pY for a few nights at a hotel, especially if they’re inviting themselves.

But if they “gifted” you money for your house when you bought it, sorry, they’re partial owners claiming their space.

No they are not. A gift is exactly that--a gift. No strings attached.

I am Gen X so I raised myself lol. I am kind to my parents and my in-laws, but my DH and I are the parents/heads of our household. I see millennial parents on here really struggling because they seem, TBH, infantilized by their parents and to continue a very childlike role with them into adulthood and parenthood of their own kids. You are in charge. No need to be rude, but you can set the tone for everything from how to deal with your kids to whether to stay in your house. Just be more confident about your role.

Anonymous wrote:Stop the back-and-forth discussion. "Mom & Dad you will need to stay at a hotel."

That's it, that's all. Stop talking about it. Say it and mean it, and stop explaining.

This x100000000