You know she has a boyfriend in Richmond, right?

My place of employment offers generous sick leave that we can use when caring for other family members. Could she possibly do the same? My father (my mother and brother have both passed away) is in assisted living two hours away and I’ve used some sick time to care for him instead of doing everything on the weekends.

OP, does your wife have a job that is remote friendly? I wonder if there's a solution where she goes down there during the week, works remotely from Richmond, and spends time with her father in the evenings. This may be easier on the home front for you, since there are fewer hours to be accounted for as the kids are in school for most of the day.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Provng once again that women are spoiled brats all through their life.

OP is a man.

Found the Dem!

wat

Get more organized Op. More systems, more delegating (to kids, external), more communication.

This is life and this is basic stuff Op.

In five years one kid will have a tournament all day north of your house and the other kid will have one an house south of your house. Plan, systems, carpool, pack food, divide and conquer or create help.

Life will keep happening: plan, communicate, make systems.

Anonymous wrote:I'm tripped up by OP referring to her husband but then keeps using they.

Can you not read?

Anonymous wrote:I would support my husband doing this, but then he'd also support me doing something for myself on the alternate weekends. He'd also potentially take the kid(s) sometimes. And/or do some of the Sunday prep on Saturday.

Signs of a healthy family life 🏹

I was never crazy about my in laws, but when DS's parent became terminally ill, our whole family would travel to see them every weekend their last few months. I never gave it a second thought.

Op, do you really want to signal to your DC's, when people get old, we just forget about them?

Women can be very selfish. Your father can die tomorrow and your wife will expect you to get over it and give all the attention back to her 3 days after his death. Incredible.

I'm tripped up by OP referring to her husband but then keeps using they.

Anonymous wrote:I sure would rather do chores than drive to Richmond every Sunday. Oof. But maybe try doing those chores during the week.

+100, that drive is hell. I think you both need to communicate better with each other, I bet your spouse would like acknowledgment of how tough it is to be a caretaker to an ailing parent. Also, if you can’t outsource chores because you are too picky, how about scheduling a regular Sunday drop off childcare class or a babysitter? I would absolutely take doing to grocery shopping alone and getting a coffee over I95.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Provng once again that women are spoiled brats all through their life.

OP is a man.

Found the Dem!

I’m from Richmond. If your father is at Westminster Canterbury I wouldn’t move him because it’s excellent. Otherwise, if possible, I would consider moving him to somewhere closer to Bethesda.

I’m sorry this is happening to you. My MIL became ill with a terminal illness and died 3 years after her diagnosis, during which my husband flew back and forth to her country to care for her, leaving me for weeks at a time (when my kids were the same ages as yours). It sucked. It was so hard for everyone involved. Ive been there and I empathize with your stress. But you need to release and let go of the issues with having someone clean your house or pick out your produce. The need for that control will crush you. For your own sanity, for your marriage and for your children.

Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

It's my wife visiting her dad. And yes it is every Sunday. I meant it has been every other Sunday we have had since May.

I know it is the stage of life because I see it all round us with our friends. My parents died when I was young (mother at 14, father at 25) so this sin't something my wife has had to accomodate, or ever will.

Honestly, just the recognition that I'm rowing the boat for her while she deals with her dad is all I'm looking for.

Boo effing hoo

Ditto

Also, nobody uses “every other Sunday” to mean every Sunday. So, are you just upping the ante to get more sympathy?
Or do you just communicate worse than a 5th grader?

Reported for sock puppeting. You will likely be IP banned.

WTF that even means. I should be banned for thinking the OP is a baby? Get real.

My guess is the OP is used to sitting in the boat and occasionally picking up an oar every blue moon, so the new normal that they have to actually spend time taking care of their kids and home on a regular basis seems like a huge deal.
It’s not. It shouldn’t be.
And LOTS of us responding here think this way.

Anonymous wrote:It’s really interesting that so many assumed the poster was a woman.

That’s because he said that all of the laundry, cleaning, and meal prep fall on him.

It’s really interesting that so many assumed the poster was a woman.