Anonymous
02/14/2026 10:58
Subject: Give me hope please
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Separated from my cheating ex at 38 years old. Moved into my own place and I’m slowly setting it up. I casually browse dating apps to gingerly see what’s out there.
I am being very careful and cautious and only having video calls with men who message me. So far from the men I’ve talked to:
- one has 3 children and is separated from his wife
- one was a 45 year old lawyer who didn’t ask me a single question about me
- one was a 41 year old engineer who was nice but so socially awkward he was shaking and sweating
- lots of men who just want sex
I’ve not met anyone and this is only through video chats…but wow. Is there anyone decent left?
Yes - mostly likely including your third dude. He was shaking and sweating because he was nervous because its a first date! And he likes you! If I were you, I'd give him a real date. Go somewhere in person, give him a chance to relax a bit, and see how it goes. Maybe nowhere. But if you're going to eliminate everyone who is nervous on a first date, yeah, you may very well miss out on the decent ones. Think about what actually matters for you, make sure you're screening on those things (like dude number 2, definitely he's no good) and don't screen out people for dumb reasons.
+1 you want a man who is nervous around women. Bold men are the ones who cheat. Bold men used to be the ones with money also but now that everything is high tech some nerdy guys are also pulling in the cash
Anonymous
02/14/2026 10:55
Subject: Re:Give me hope please
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Is there anyone decent left? Sure, but they're not on the apps. Those worked maybe 5-10 years ago, but now the decent people see them for the cesspool of humanity they are and mostly stay away.
None of my single friends use them anymore. They hope to meet someone 'in the wild', and accept they might not find 1:1 romantic relationships and instead focus on a chosen family. The guys (and a couple women I know) will occasionally go on the apps to hook up but with no intention of putting a connection-worthy effort in.
How are you supposed to find a guy in the wild?
What should I be doing?
Go to Home Depot, find a good looking man and ask for pipes
Anonymous
02/14/2026 10:32
Subject: Re:Give me hope please
Unfortunately the older we all get, the slimmer the pickings get.
As illustrated in your post.
Yet it doesn’t have to boil down to an impossible feat.
Remember that you now have more life experience than you had at 22 - - therefore you know more what you want (as well as what you do not!) so it may take a little while longer to meet someone worthy of all that you now have to offer❣️
As illustrated in your post.
Yet it doesn’t have to boil down to an impossible feat.
Remember that you now have more life experience than you had at 22 - - therefore you know more what you want (as well as what you do not!) so it may take a little while longer to meet someone worthy of all that you now have to offer❣️
Anonymous
02/14/2026 09:21
Subject: Give me hope please
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Op, are you sleeping with either or all of them? You need to take a test run before catching feelings for them.
No I’m not. I’m just meeting them for lunches and dinners and we talk and flirt. Some kissing.
Next time move to oral, please him and then see how he responds in supporting and take the relationship to the next level.
Always make sure to keep your man satisfied in bed, OP, and tell him your expectations.
Anonymous
02/13/2026 10:06
Subject: Give me hope please
Anonymous wrote:Op, are you sleeping with either or all of them? You need to take a test run before catching feelings for them.
No I’m not. I’m just meeting them for lunches and dinners and we talk and flirt. Some kissing.
Anonymous
02/11/2026 18:01
Subject: Give me hope please
Op, are you sleeping with either or all of them? You need to take a test run before catching feelings for them.
Anonymous
02/11/2026 14:34
Subject: Re:Give me hope please
OP here.
I’m now talking to and kissing 2 guys:
- coast guard guy. We see each other once a week. Dinner and some kissing. He is cute and we have a lot in common and I can see him be a longer term thing.
- think tank guy. We see each other once a week or so and he is sweet and hot.
- Booz Allen guy. I met a 36 year old consultant for brunch last weekend. He is cute! But wonder if he’s too young for me. Compared to the other two he seems immature!
I’m now talking to and kissing 2 guys:
- coast guard guy. We see each other once a week. Dinner and some kissing. He is cute and we have a lot in common and I can see him be a longer term thing.
- think tank guy. We see each other once a week or so and he is sweet and hot.
- Booz Allen guy. I met a 36 year old consultant for brunch last weekend. He is cute! But wonder if he’s too young for me. Compared to the other two he seems immature!
Anonymous
01/05/2026 19:03
Subject: Give me hope please
Give the think tank guy another date.