Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 18:57     Subject: Calling DH's new GF
Anonymous wrote:Realistically, would therapy have even helped? Not much you can do about mismatched libido.

A friend of mine is going through the other side of this. His wife of 15 years informed him that she’s asexual and will never have sex again, after over a decade of almost zero sex. He’s been faithful up until now, but now he’s looking to either open the marriage or leave, especially since they’ve done years of therapy and this is what it’s lead to.



Yep. My soon to be ex husband has always had a lower libido but now the difference is vast. Good guy but I am way too young to live without sex.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 18:56     Subject: Calling DH's new GF
Anonymous wrote:Your sister is right.


Agree. I have been married 29 years and we are separating. What would be the point in telling our children that dad bores me to death, has low energy and libido, is a Trumper, doesn’t want to travel in retirement, etc? True, there’s no cheating or abuse but moving on with grace and dignity is the way.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 16:40     Subject: Re:Calling DH's new GF
Anonymous wrote:^ You absolutely suck. Sex is an important part of a marriage but definitely not the most important part. Cheating on your spouse is cowardly, and walking away from a marriage if 28 years without taking any steps to fix is beyond immature.
It can become the most important part when it's not happening. I don't believe for a minute he didn't try to salvage the marriage or ever talk to her about this important issue. No one makes these decisions lightly.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 16:36     Subject: Calling DH's new GF
What difference does it make when it started. This is the end result when one spouse decides it's going to be a near-sexless marriage. Why do you want him back? To continue to torture each other? You act like he just hit you with this out of the blue and you never saw it coming but I call bullshit on that. You just didn't take your relationship seriously and felt that no matter how you treated him, he would always be there. Now your eyes are opened and you want to blame someone else for your problems. This women didn't steal you husband. You pushed him out the door. Take his advice and go find yourself a partner who matches your libido.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 14:43     Subject: Calling DH's new GF
Anonymous wrote:Married for 28 years, two grown kids, and eight months ago DH dropped a bombshell on me, said he was unhappy and wanted to separate. I knew there were some issues, like mismatched libido (his high, mine low) and maybe we argue a lot about stupid stuff. But I thought we were committed. Anyway he moved out saying it was a "trial" separation but he wanted to be able to see other people and I should too, not that I wanted to. So then like a month ago he says he is not moving back, he wants to stay separated, and also he is dating someone seriously.

I know who she is an I am 99.9% sure he was cheating on me with her even before he moved out. I asked him when this started and he refused to answer, saying we are now separated and he's not going to let me give him the third degree. I am so angry I want to tear his limbs off. If he had any respect for me at all he would come clean about what he has been doing. He refused to do therapy with me or anything and I think it is because he knew all along he wanted out and has been sleeping around. I am still committed to the marriage but he is a lying s*ht.

I want to call his new GF and demand to know when this started. And I wonder if his GF even knows he was lying to me. Or if he has been lying to her, telling her our marriage was over before we even separated. I don't know if she helped him cheat on prupose or he lied to her too. And I think I should tell our kids exactly what their dad has been doing.

I talked about all this with my sister though and she is saying no, do not contact the new girlfriend, do not talk to the kids, accept that this is over and move on with grace and dignity.

Part of me wonders if she is right? But another part of me wants to burn his whole f*ing life down. He does not deserve to have his children's respect.



Ok, please understand I am not trolling you and this advice is sincere. If he had a high libido (which is normal and healthy), and you had a low one...then most likely you were holding out on him or being less than enthusiastic. Him separating is actually very understandable. I'm sorry, but your libido being low should never be a reason for you not to have sex with him absolutely any time he wants...and do do it with enthusiasm. Regardless of how you're feeling. A man may not want to go to work, he may not be enthusiastic about it...but he goes and he does his best to excel. The same should be 100% true for you when it comes to having sex with your husband. Do you realize that for the most part you can not be there for him in every category in life, but if your providing good, constant sex...then he will be very very happy. The inverse it true as well. You can do everything right in your marriage, but if you're not providing that one necessary function...then he will be miserable. The truth however, is that many women will still expect their husbands to go to work and do well...but won't do the same when it come's to their job. Sex.
(I know lot's of women will be pissed about this post...but it's still very true. And most likely they are single, divorced or have husbands who are secretly frustrated and miserable if they are doing the same.)
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 14:22     Subject: Calling DH's new GF
Anonymous wrote:OP call her.

Women break other women's homes because they know in 90% of cases the wife will not only sympathize with them (by speaking on their behalf that they have been lied to), but they will go a step farther by finding something they like about the other woman.

Is it a coping mechanism that women use? Another woman just wreck your marriage and life and you think your husband is the only one at fault?

I have news for you. Women pursue men as well. Some women lie as well. Some women take pride in a twisted way in taking another woman's man.



Tell us how many times you’ve taken back your cheating spouse?
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2025 09:29     Subject: Calling DH's new GF
OP call her.

Women break other women's homes because they know in 90% of cases the wife will not only sympathize with them (by speaking on their behalf that they have been lied to), but they will go a step farther by finding something they like about the other woman.

Is it a coping mechanism that women use? Another woman just wreck your marriage and life and you think your husband is the only one at fault?

I have news for you. Women pursue men as well. Some women lie as well. Some women take pride in a twisted way in taking another woman's man.