Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made 2x what you do.

No, kids don’t need their own bedroom, wtf.

Stop being a martyr, get your sh*t together and leave.

DP. 3 bedrooms with 1 adult and 3 kids does not give each kid their own bedroom.

Having taught, I’ve been to the apartment of a student that housed two families in a 2br/1bath apartment. So a family needs a room to sleep in, and a soft surface to sleep on. Two bunk beds in a single bedroom could theoretically house a mom and three children.

Personally, I wouldn’t room with another family due to the potential for abuse, and I’d never judge a parent for deciding she needs her own four walls. It would be a difficult adjustment, but a family with children of both genders could do a 1br. Males use the bedroom and females (including mom) use the living room.

Again, none of these options are ideal, but it sounds like mom will be poor after the divorce. These are the options that the poor deal with. OP, I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.

A $100,000 plus income is not poor.

It is more than middle class families make.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I made 2x what you do.

No, kids don’t need their own bedroom, wtf.

Stop being a martyr, get your sh*t together and leave.

It’s not crazy to need 2 bedrooms for the kids. OP may have pubescent kids and show me how a 15 year old girl can share a room with a 13 year old boy in a healthy way.

By getting thick curtains that go on the ceiling and divide the room. Change in the bathroom or get a lock on the door and take 15 minutes to get ready for school while the other is in the bathroom. Not that hard.

We had a family of 7 growing up in a 3 bedroom 1 bathroom house. 4 sisters in the mix with 80s hair.

You can make it work.

Put mirrors on the bedroom doors so everyone can get ready in their bedrooms.

Go to a shelter. Find charitable private orgs who may offer support or insights. Depends if your kids are with you and keen on what's happening and depends on ages of your kids. You can live in a less desirable neighborhood for schools and rent - private school will likely off financial assistance for 3 kids enrolled. I pretty much guarantee it actually. Swallow your pride and go to soup kitchens to stock up on groceries if needed.

If you have friends to lean on or family to lean on, do.

The worst thing is to stay. Your kids need you and you need you

Have some faith that it can work out because there is no other way but through it. Life will be hard but it's not easy now so choose - your dignity and health, your furore and joy incl your kids as well or having little finances but the desire to rebuild?

A lot of it depends on your kids though. If they are young it's easier, older, maybe stick it through till at least they are almost grad but it's tough if it's 5th-9th grades. You need their support for it to work though - tell them the truth or they will resent you in so many ways.

- the daughter of an abused mom who stayed too long with my dad who was violent with no self control

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom, brother, and I lived in a 1 bedroom apartment when my parents divorced. My brother and I shared a bedroom and my mom got the den. Not ideal but it was fine. Americans are pretty spoiled about space and every kid needing their own bedroom.

+1

My mom was also pretty smart. We actually ended up in better schools because the apartment was one of a few apartment buildings in a good school district. The apartment was vacant because the former occupants cooked very spicy food and the smell left behind turned off potential residents. My mom snapped it up right away and we lived there for years until she upgraded when she got a raise.

I have seen single moms quickly move into a relationship to find stability for themselves and their kids. A friend of mine was cocky enough to not take anything from her exH and ended up taking $80k of CC debt within 3 years of separation. It’s tough and you do the best you could.