Anonymous wrote:People just lack manners and social decency.

If a friend invites you somewhere, offer to pay your portion. They will likely say no. You don’t make assumptions about their wealth or means. You don’t make awkward comments inviting yourself to a place they belong to. You are not owed a free pass because “they can afford it”.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People just lack manners and social decency.

If a friend invites you somewhere, offer to pay your portion. They will likely say no. You don’t make assumptions about their wealth or means. You don’t make awkward comments inviting yourself to a place they belong to. You are not owed a free pass because “they can afford it”.

People are going to make assumptions about your means if you belong to a country club. If you are so strapped for cash that spending $200 on a gathering with friends is stressful for you, you should stop attending a country club. There are public pools, golf courses and tennis courts for people like you.

Of course it's nice to offer to pay but I don't take advantage of my friends by letting them host every time, if that's something you experience from friends you need different friends.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg it’s not like she whipped out a calendar. Many of my friends with club memberships are desperate to take others because they have minimums, or want friends to join so everyone can hang out together in the club.

Many clubs do not have minimums. Please do not assume when you go with a friend. We recently had guests with us and spent over $200 on their family. The following weekend we all went out to a casual dinner and they asked us to split the check. We did so but later I casually told her: hey when we go to the pool, there’s a guest fee of 25 per person and we pay for the food at the restaurant. Let’s be sure to split that next time.

Yikes. For me, it’s a pleasure to host and treat guests at my club. I’d be embarrassed if any of them thought I might be keeping a ledger — but you ended the mystery and just told them outright that you were!

I do think hosting someone at a club is similar to hosting them at your house (where I would never ask anyone to chip in for the cost of the food or drinks) but it's also different because the cost of the dinner is out of the host's hands because people can order whatever they want and there is also a tip.

I would be inclined to treat people at our club because it does feel like hosting, but if someone offered to split the bill I would let them. If we then went to a restaurant with the same people, I would expect to split the bill there, since that's customary in those situations.

Overall, I'd say given the tip and that everyone is ordering what they want, I would always err on the side of offering to pay for a meal at a club.

It does get a little awkward though, at out club everything goes on your account. There is no cash or card exchanged.

I understand, I'm a member of a country club. But if I'm hosting people at my house and we order 20 pizzas to watch the Super Bowl, people can most certainly ask me how much the pizzas cost/what their share is and then Venmo it to me. I'm not saying they have to pay you, I'm saying your example doesn't make any sense.

Country club people don't mention how much it was and accept venmo. The response is always "it's our pleasure to treat you."

PP here who mentioned awkwardness. This was my point. I don't do the whole figure out who owes what thing and Venmo or pass cash back & forth at restaurant or when I have guests. I don't even get a check/bill at my clubs. You do your thing and role out. You can ask for one if you want but no one really does.

Yes, I completely believe that you just "role" in and out of your country clubS.

Anonymous wrote:People just lack manners and social decency.

If a friend invites you somewhere, offer to pay your portion. They will likely say no. You don’t make assumptions about their wealth or means. You don’t make awkward comments inviting yourself to a place they belong to. You are not owed a free pass because “they can afford it”.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg it’s not like she whipped out a calendar. Many of my friends with club memberships are desperate to take others because they have minimums, or want friends to join so everyone can hang out together in the club.

Many clubs do not have minimums. Please do not assume when you go with a friend. We recently had guests with us and spent over $200 on their family. The following weekend we all went out to a casual dinner and they asked us to split the check. We did so but later I casually told her: hey when we go to the pool, there’s a guest fee of 25 per person and we pay for the food at the restaurant. Let’s be sure to split that next time.

Yikes. For me, it’s a pleasure to host and treat guests at my club. I’d be embarrassed if any of them thought I might be keeping a ledger — but you ended the mystery and just told them outright that you were!

I do think hosting someone at a club is similar to hosting them at your house (where I would never ask anyone to chip in for the cost of the food or drinks) but it's also different because the cost of the dinner is out of the host's hands because people can order whatever they want and there is also a tip.

I would be inclined to treat people at our club because it does feel like hosting, but if someone offered to split the bill I would let them. If we then went to a restaurant with the same people, I would expect to split the bill there, since that's customary in those situations.

Overall, I'd say given the tip and that everyone is ordering what they want, I would always err on the side of offering to pay for a meal at a club.

It does get a little awkward though, at out club everything goes on your account. There is no cash or card exchanged.

That's every club. How is that awkward? That's the whole point, to keep it from being awkward. Are you to cheap to pay for your friends and want to figure out how to charge them? Some of you are unbelievable.

PP here and I agree with you. My point was even if you wanted to be cheap it is not as conducive as a typical dining establishment. You aren't pulling out money or a card. That moment where one would typically offer to pay a portion is removed in the CC equation.

You are splitting ridiculous hairs here.

Anonymous wrote:You will address OP by her husband's rank!!!

Anonymous wrote:I think you should buy a diary next

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You must have very thin skin if you found that to be rude.

Now that OP has made it to The Country Club Set she feels it gives her license to look down on The Poors over imaginary slights.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg it’s not like she whipped out a calendar. Many of my friends with club memberships are desperate to take others because they have minimums, or want friends to join so everyone can hang out together in the club.

Many clubs do not have minimums. Please do not assume when you go with a friend. We recently had guests with us and spent over $200 on their family. The following weekend we all went out to a casual dinner and they asked us to split the check. We did so but later I casually told her: hey when we go to the pool, there’s a guest fee of 25 per person and we pay for the food at the restaurant. Let’s be sure to split that next time.

Yikes. For me, it’s a pleasure to host and treat guests at my club. I’d be embarrassed if any of them thought I might be keeping a ledger — but you ended the mystery and just told them outright that you were!

I do think hosting someone at a club is similar to hosting them at your house (where I would never ask anyone to chip in for the cost of the food or drinks) but it's also different because the cost of the dinner is out of the host's hands because people can order whatever they want and there is also a tip.

I would be inclined to treat people at our club because it does feel like hosting, but if someone offered to split the bill I would let them. If we then went to a restaurant with the same people, I would expect to split the bill there, since that's customary in those situations.

Overall, I'd say given the tip and that everyone is ordering what they want, I would always err on the side of offering to pay for a meal at a club.

It does get a little awkward though, at out club everything goes on your account. There is no cash or card exchanged.

I understand, I'm a member of a country club. But if I'm hosting people at my house and we order 20 pizzas to watch the Super Bowl, people can most certainly ask me how much the pizzas cost/what their share is and then Venmo it to me. I'm not saying they have to pay you, I'm saying your example doesn't make any sense.

Country club people don't mention how much it was and accept venmo. The response is always "it's our pleasure to treat you."

PP here who mentioned awkwardness. This was my point. I don't do the whole figure out who owes what thing and Venmo or pass cash back & forth at restaurant or when I have guests. I don't even get a check/bill at my clubs. You do your thing and role out. You can ask for one if you want but no one really does.

Yes, I completely believe that you just "role" in and out of your country clubS.

DP- and I can tell that was a type and not something to really pick at. Yes at our club we don't even wait for the check. Everyone knows who we are, so we just roll out when we are done. I'm not sure who mentioned tips, but you don't wait for a bill or tip. You tip at the end of the year based on consumption, generosity or both. It is split by the staff. This removes all cash/awkardness at a club. Unless you get a weird guest who wants to pay like in that Robert DeNiro movie! You guys should watch that. It's very accurate to CCs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg it’s not like she whipped out a calendar. Many of my friends with club memberships are desperate to take others because they have minimums, or want friends to join so everyone can hang out together in the club.

Many clubs do not have minimums. Please do not assume when you go with a friend. We recently had guests with us and spent over $200 on their family. The following weekend we all went out to a casual dinner and they asked us to split the check. We did so but later I casually told her: hey when we go to the pool, there’s a guest fee of 25 per person and we pay for the food at the restaurant. Let’s be sure to split that next time.

Yikes. For me, it’s a pleasure to host and treat guests at my club. I’d be embarrassed if any of them thought I might be keeping a ledger — but you ended the mystery and just told them outright that you were!

I do think hosting someone at a club is similar to hosting them at your house (where I would never ask anyone to chip in for the cost of the food or drinks) but it's also different because the cost of the dinner is out of the host's hands because people can order whatever they want and there is also a tip.

I would be inclined to treat people at our club because it does feel like hosting, but if someone offered to split the bill I would let them. If we then went to a restaurant with the same people, I would expect to split the bill there, since that's customary in those situations.

Overall, I'd say given the tip and that everyone is ordering what they want, I would always err on the side of offering to pay for a meal at a club.

It does get a little awkward though, at out club everything goes on your account. There is no cash or card exchanged.

I understand, I'm a member of a country club. But if I'm hosting people at my house and we order 20 pizzas to watch the Super Bowl, people can most certainly ask me how much the pizzas cost/what their share is and then Venmo it to me. I'm not saying they have to pay you, I'm saying your example doesn't make any sense.

Country club people don't mention how much it was and accept venmo. The response is always "it's our pleasure to treat you."

PP here who mentioned awkwardness. This was my point. I don't do the whole figure out who owes what thing and Venmo or pass cash back & forth at restaurant or when I have guests. I don't even get a check/bill at my clubs. You do your thing and role out. You can ask for one if you want but no one really does.

Yes, I completely believe that you just "role" in and out of your country clubS.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Omg it’s not like she whipped out a calendar. Many of my friends with club memberships are desperate to take others because they have minimums, or want friends to join so everyone can hang out together in the club.

Many clubs do not have minimums. Please do not assume when you go with a friend. We recently had guests with us and spent over $200 on their family. The following weekend we all went out to a casual dinner and they asked us to split the check. We did so but later I casually told her: hey when we go to the pool, there’s a guest fee of 25 per person and we pay for the food at the restaurant. Let’s be sure to split that next time.

Yikes. For me, it’s a pleasure to host and treat guests at my club. I’d be embarrassed if any of them thought I might be keeping a ledger — but you ended the mystery and just told them outright that you were!

I do think hosting someone at a club is similar to hosting them at your house (where I would never ask anyone to chip in for the cost of the food or drinks) but it's also different because the cost of the dinner is out of the host's hands because people can order whatever they want and there is also a tip.

I would be inclined to treat people at our club because it does feel like hosting, but if someone offered to split the bill I would let them. If we then went to a restaurant with the same people, I would expect to split the bill there, since that's customary in those situations.

Overall, I'd say given the tip and that everyone is ordering what they want, I would always err on the side of offering to pay for a meal at a club.

It does get a little awkward though, at out club everything goes on your account. There is no cash or card exchanged.

That's every club. How is that awkward? That's the whole point, to keep it from being awkward. Are you to cheap to pay for your friends and want to figure out how to charge them? Some of you are unbelievable.

PP here and I agree with you. My point was even if you wanted to be cheap it is not as conducive as a typical dining establishment. You aren't pulling out money or a card. That moment where one would typically offer to pay a portion is removed in the CC equation.