Anonymous wrote:Having a new baby in the home is tough.
Yet your husband appears to not want his own life to change because of it - - sounds like he doesn’t like the changes that accompany becoming first-time parents.
You are not wrong in your feelings > or in your assessment of your marriage.
Your husband needs to step up to the plate NOW.
He wanted this new family dynamic too……
Anonymous wrote:Never threaten divorce.
Early post-partum is strictly survival mode. No one is thinking clearly.
Hire help.
Bring in family to help.
Get rid of all unnecessary tasks/obligations.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What do military families do when inly one parent is present?
Usually you don’t have money to hire help, so I had my mom there for 1.5 weeks and then I just did it.
Anonymous wrote:What do military families do when inly one parent is present?
Anonymous wrote:What do military families do when inly one parent is present?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the face. Your poor husband will actually think having kids is what ruined his life, but in reality it was marrying a selfish, entitled little girl.
I ruined my life with a similar misstep. Best of luck to your 5 week old who deserves better than the life you are creating.
You ruined your life being you.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the face. Your poor husband will actually think having kids is what ruined his life, but in reality it was marrying a selfish, entitled little girl.
I ruined my life with a similar misstep. Best of luck to your 5 week old who deserves better than the life you are creating.
lol dude. To think you just could have gotten up with the baby and cooked dinner.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What you described is not divorce-worthy.
My husband travels a decent amount for work and has business dinners several nights a week. He is gone 1-2 weeks out of the month.
Our agreement:
- He would be caring for our baby on the evenings he is home to allow me to have downtime.
He has refused to do any evening help with the baby because he needs to relax.
- He will cook the days he gets home early.
He has refused to cook on the days he is home.
- He will help out at night on the weekends and help me prepare for the week ahead ( meal prep, laundry, grocery shopping..)
He hasn’t done any nights. He does do meal prep and laundry but I’ve had to order groceries because he was too tired.
- He would skip client dinners that aren’t necessary or any travel that isn’t necessary.
He has several next week and will be out of town for work the week after.
The idea of being a SAHM or working part-time has been on the table but it’s not a decision I wanted to make until my maternity leave was nearing an end. I don’t see myself staying home but working part-time is a strong possibility.
It feels to me that I’m parenting by myself. He has no interest in being a husband or father. My life has changed but his is still normal.
So when is his downtime? How is he cooking if you're also having him take care of the baby? (And WTF are you cooking? Seriously, get take out, microwave some food, eat salads and sandwiches)
I'm not saying you should be caring for the baby all the time because he's working and you're not, but you seem to have zero concern about him and also very unrealistic expectations of how life should go.
His downtime is when he gets to be in the office with no crying newborn. come on - you can’t play us. DCUM is full of working moms who have experienced first hand how the office is easier than staying home with a newborn. Working FT with an infant is hard as f, but going into the office is a break in many ways.
Anonymous wrote:That poor baby. Can you re-home him to a proper family?
Anonymous wrote:Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the face. Your poor husband will actually think having kids is what ruined his life, but in reality it was marrying a selfish, entitled little girl.
I ruined my life with a similar misstep. Best of luck to your 5 week old who deserves better than the life you are creating.
Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t seem like you see him as a partner. It seems like you think he should work for you 24/7 and you are mad he isn’t doing what you tell him to do. Your schedule includes all evening off every day for you to have downtime but no downtime for him.
You don’t throw around divorce as a control tool.
Having a baby is a big adjustment and you have to let go of being controlling and giving orders and instead talk and discuss and hear both points of view. You have to see yourselves as a team. You have to listen. You seem to be approaching this as though you are his boss and he is your employee.