Anonymous wrote:DD doesn't want him in jail. Just something more than school punishment. I meant "Free" as in happy and carefree after hurting someone while she's hurt.

Anonymous wrote:Refusing someone that got SA'd a police report surely seems like a reason to report a cop to me. Is that even legal?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your dd? What is the reason the cops don't want to press charges? Have you considered going above the cops head to the DA?

That doesn’t make sense. Are you saying the cop wouldn’t write a report? Get a lawyer, file a police report. Only a prosecutor can keep you from pressing charges. They can decline to prosecute or strike a plea deal, but that’s different.

This is a question for the OP. OP, did the cops write a report and the DA refused the case? Can you explain further?

He let us file a police report and said that he needed a signature but when we came back for that he said he would not have probable cause.

but there is video!

this is bs

I wonder if the police officer or someone in the school district is family members with the boy

did they at least say he's not allowed to ride the bus anymore??

op, I know someone whose son engaged in consensual hooking up with his girlfriend. both the girlfriend and her parents agree it was consensual and have not pressed charges. the same thing happened a year ago and the school is making the boy go to an alternative school for the rest of the school year. both sets of parents were shown the video.

ask to see the video. subtly take out your camera and video it while they are showing it to you.

No one is family with him. He was shortly suspended for a few days but that was all. I saw it but they would not let me have it.

This seems appropriate. A suspension is a big deal. What do you want to happen?

He's regularly suspended and has been suspended three times since. I need proper justice.

OP, the kid lightly touched your DD's thigh according to you; and he was suspended because of it. What additional justice do you need? I'm not trying to make light of what happened, but you can't possibly expect that they'll send the kid to juvie because of it, do you?

My DD holds grudges and let go over something like this, don't want to ruin her life. The report itself would help tremendously.

As long as you're fine with the punishment and have accepted everything, then you need to have a talk with your DD and let her know that yes, it was not right what he did, but he did get punished accordingly. She needs to learn how to react when something like this happens again (say something to the ahole, slap him, kick him in the balls, etc.) and move on. She shouldn't let this incident ruin her life. Realistically, she's going to experience much worse than this at some point.. which may require actual police intervention.

I really don't agree with her having to experience worse than this, she protects herself so much so that is why this is upsetting and shocking, and that is why people minimizing this is serious for her.

She actually doesn't protect herself at all, at least not in any real way. If she did she would have slapped him or his hand away and told him to knock it off and gone about her business. The PP is right, if this is the most shocking and upsetting thing that happens to her she will have lived a charmed life. If she has PTSD from this (where, I will add, the other minor child was appropriately punished) and needs to go out for John Wick vengeance she's not ready for the world. Therapy.

She's a shy person so would not hit anyone. I know their might not be more punishment then this but just a police report would make her feel much better so the cop refusing is a shock and we will need to take action against him for that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your dd? What is the reason the cops don't want to press charges? Have you considered going above the cops head to the DA?

That doesn’t make sense. Are you saying the cop wouldn’t write a report? Get a lawyer, file a police report. Only a prosecutor can keep you from pressing charges. They can decline to prosecute or strike a plea deal, but that’s different.

This is a question for the OP. OP, did the cops write a report and the DA refused the case? Can you explain further?

He let us file a police report and said that he needed a signature but when we came back for that he said he would not have probable cause.

but there is video!

this is bs

I wonder if the police officer or someone in the school district is family members with the boy

did they at least say he's not allowed to ride the bus anymore??

op, I know someone whose son engaged in consensual hooking up with his girlfriend. both the girlfriend and her parents agree it was consensual and have not pressed charges. the same thing happened a year ago and the school is making the boy go to an alternative school for the rest of the school year. both sets of parents were shown the video.

ask to see the video. subtly take out your camera and video it while they are showing it to you.

No one is family with him. He was shortly suspended for a few days but that was all. I saw it but they would not let me have it.

This seems appropriate. A suspension is a big deal. What do you want to happen?

He's regularly suspended and has been suspended three times since. I need proper justice.

OP, the kid lightly touched your DD's thigh according to you; and he was suspended because of it. What additional justice do you need? I'm not trying to make light of what happened, but you can't possibly expect that they'll send the kid to juvie because of it, do you?

My DD holds grudges and let go over something like this, don't want to ruin her life. The report itself would help tremendously.

As long as you're fine with the punishment and have accepted everything, then you need to have a talk with your DD and let her know that yes, it was not right what he did, but he did get punished accordingly. She needs to learn how to react when something like this happens again (say something to the ahole, slap him, kick him in the balls, etc.) and move on. She shouldn't let this incident ruin her life. Realistically, she's going to experience much worse than this at some point.. which may require actual police intervention.

I really don't agree with her having to experience worse than this, she protects herself so much so that is why this is upsetting and shocking, and that is why people minimizing this is serious for her.

She actually doesn't protect herself at all, at least not in any real way. If she did she would have slapped him or his hand away and told him to knock it off and gone about her business. The PP is right, if this is the most shocking and upsetting thing that happens to her she will have lived a charmed life. If she has PTSD from this (where, I will add, the other minor child was appropriately punished) and needs to go out for John Wick vengeance she's not ready for the world. Therapy.

Anonymous wrote:DD doesn't want him in jail. Just something more than school punishment. I meant "Free" as in happy and carefree after hurting someone while she's hurt.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your dd? What is the reason the cops don't want to press charges? Have you considered going above the cops head to the DA?

That doesn’t make sense. Are you saying the cop wouldn’t write a report? Get a lawyer, file a police report. Only a prosecutor can keep you from pressing charges. They can decline to prosecute or strike a plea deal, but that’s different.

This is a question for the OP. OP, did the cops write a report and the DA refused the case? Can you explain further?

He let us file a police report and said that he needed a signature but when we came back for that he said he would not have probable cause.

but there is video!

this is bs

I wonder if the police officer or someone in the school district is family members with the boy

did they at least say he's not allowed to ride the bus anymore??

op, I know someone whose son engaged in consensual hooking up with his girlfriend. both the girlfriend and her parents agree it was consensual and have not pressed charges. the same thing happened a year ago and the school is making the boy go to an alternative school for the rest of the school year. both sets of parents were shown the video.

ask to see the video. subtly take out your camera and video it while they are showing it to you.

No one is family with him. He was shortly suspended for a few days but that was all. I saw it but they would not let me have it.

This seems appropriate. A suspension is a big deal. What do you want to happen?

He's regularly suspended and has been suspended three times since. I need proper justice.

OP, the kid lightly touched your DD's thigh according to you; and he was suspended because of it. What additional justice do you need? I'm not trying to make light of what happened, but you can't possibly expect that they'll send the kid to juvie because of it, do you?

My DD holds grudges and let go over something like this, don't want to ruin her life. The report itself would help tremendously.

As long as you're fine with the punishment and have accepted everything, then you need to have a talk with your DD and let her know that yes, it was not right what he did, but he did get punished accordingly. She needs to learn how to react when something like this happens again (say something to the ahole, slap him, kick him in the balls, etc.) and move on. She shouldn't let this incident ruin her life. Realistically, she's going to experience much worse than this at some point.. which may require actual police intervention.

I really don't agree with her having to experience worse than this, she protects herself so much so that is why this is upsetting and shocking, and that is why people minimizing this is serious for her.

She actually doesn't protect herself at all, at least not in any real way. If she did she would have slapped him or his hand away and told him to knock it off and gone about her business. The PP is right, if this is the most shocking and upsetting thing that happens to her she will have lived a charmed life. If she has PTSD from this (where, I will add, the other minor child was appropriately punished) and needs to go out for John Wick vengeance she's not ready for the world. Therapy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How old is your dd? What is the reason the cops don't want to press charges? Have you considered going above the cops head to the DA?

That doesn’t make sense. Are you saying the cop wouldn’t write a report? Get a lawyer, file a police report. Only a prosecutor can keep you from pressing charges. They can decline to prosecute or strike a plea deal, but that’s different.

This is a question for the OP. OP, did the cops write a report and the DA refused the case? Can you explain further?

He let us file a police report and said that he needed a signature but when we came back for that he said he would not have probable cause.

but there is video!

this is bs

I wonder if the police officer or someone in the school district is family members with the boy

did they at least say he's not allowed to ride the bus anymore??

op, I know someone whose son engaged in consensual hooking up with his girlfriend. both the girlfriend and her parents agree it was consensual and have not pressed charges. the same thing happened a year ago and the school is making the boy go to an alternative school for the rest of the school year. both sets of parents were shown the video.

ask to see the video. subtly take out your camera and video it while they are showing it to you.

No one is family with him. He was shortly suspended for a few days but that was all. I saw it but they would not let me have it.

This seems appropriate. A suspension is a big deal. What do you want to happen?

He's regularly suspended and has been suspended three times since. I need proper justice.

OP, the kid lightly touched your DD's thigh according to you; and he was suspended because of it. What additional justice do you need? I'm not trying to make light of what happened, but you can't possibly expect that they'll send the kid to juvie because of it, do you?

My DD holds grudges and let go over something like this, don't want to ruin her life. The report itself would help tremendously.

As long as you're fine with the punishment and have accepted everything, then you need to have a talk with your DD and let her know that yes, it was not right what he did, but he did get punished accordingly. She needs to learn how to react when something like this happens again (say something to the ahole, slap him, kick him in the balls, etc.) and move on. She shouldn't let this incident ruin her life. Realistically, she's going to experience much worse than this at some point.. which may require actual police intervention.

I really don't agree with her having to experience worse than this, she protects herself so much so that is why this is upsetting and shocking, and that is why people minimizing this is serious for her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. He is the SRO, I do not have attorney and do not know where to go from here. Could I just file a report with another cop?

You definitely can. Though their first step will most likely be to check in with the SRO.

Why did the SRO not feel there was probable cause to charge? I know you don’t want to give too many details probably, but was the video not clear/detailed enough? Or the offense was not considered serious enough?

The video was clear, I believe he just doesn't want to go through paper work and that stuff if the DA refuses to prosecute, but at least give us the right to file a report. It was a light touch for a few seconds on the thigh. He tried to gaslight us into saying it is not serious enough but I know if I filed it with another cop they most likely would let us. It's the video I worry about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What will the report do for your DD? If it's that important, why don't you write the report yourself and then give it to her as a way to heal? My point is that her healing will come from within, not through a report.

She can't see him free and get away with it just because of his age and the severity. If he was an adult, he probably would have gotten legal consequences already. The fact that something considered SA is left alone without being reported won't help her heal ever.