Anonymous wrote:Stone Ridge for sure

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Anonymous wrote:There is no school that has “pervasive” mean girls. The level of mean girl and cliquish behavior is entirely cohort dependent.

This, but also: Holton.

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You'd be hard pressed to find a mean girl at Madeira.



Hard-pressed to find a mean girl at Madeira? There are mean girls at Madeira, just not as many as at some schools. Someone is obviously drinking the Madeira Kool-Aid and also smoking something while she drinks.

I dunno, PP. My daughter, who is quite sensitive and has definitely seen mean girl behaviors at her K-8, says that she has absolutely not met any mean girls at Madeira. She is rather in awe of that, actually.

+1. The kindness at Madeira is impressive. Not every girl is best friends, but they treat each other respectfully remarkably consistently for this age cohort. Have experienced the opposite elsewhere.

Madeira doesn't really have a lot of girls in the social scene of the DMV. They are not really part of the social scene. My kids do not know anyone that attends Madeira. It is a very separate world from the DC/MD social scene. That may be a good thing? Not sure but it is difficult to compare.

The fact that you mentioned the “social scene” twice while also commenting that your kids don’t know anyone from Madeira is hilarious. I wasn’t aware that 1) there was only one “social scene” in the whole DC area and 2) that it was possible for kids to know everyone in that very same “social scene.” I’m getting the feeling that you belong to one of the country clubs cited upthread. And that your daughter attends one of the schools that have been discussed. And to answer your question as a Madeira mom, your post has confirmed that it is a good thing that Madeira girls may not be a part of this very important and exclusive “social scene” you speak so confidently of.

Actually there is a private school social scene mainly made up of the single sex schools. Not sure why that is but is true and yes Madeira is not part of that. Maybe because geographically they are so far away? They are just not part of it.

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Anonymous wrote:I know they are almost everywhere, but where is this pervasive?

Boys and girls can be equally mean for the record.

We have friends at a variety of private schools in the DC, MD, VA area. The most common theme I hear from friends at all of these schools including ours is that the schools that have a very high percentage of parents that belong to either Chevy or Congo tend to also have a very distinct culture of mean kid/mean parent behavior. Yes, mean parents tend to have mean kids and for whatever reason those families and parents tend to cluster together in a very unhealthy way.

Agree. The 8th grade class at SR has a large number of girls whose families belong to Congo or Chevy. It seems the girls have learned their elitist/exclusive behavior from their moms.

Agree with all of this. Boys can also be very cruel and always get a pass. It seems that in addition to the country club culture, you find especially mean kids in Lacrosse. The kids of both create a culture of exclusivity that usually extends from their parents behavior.

Also the 10th grade class at SR is chock full of mean girls. Several girls switched schools because the bullying was so bad. Heard the same about 9th and now 8th too, something toxic is going on over there in the SR school culture.

?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know they are almost everywhere, but where is this pervasive?

Boys and girls can be equally mean for the record.

We have friends at a variety of private schools in the DC, MD, VA area. The most common theme I hear from friends at all of these schools including ours is that the schools that have a very high percentage of parents that belong to either Chevy or Congo tend to also have a very distinct culture of mean kid/mean parent behavior. Yes, mean parents tend to have mean kids and for whatever reason those families and parents tend to cluster together in a very unhealthy way.

Agree. The 8th grade class at SR has a large number of girls whose families belong to Congo or Chevy. It seems the girls have learned their elitist/exclusive behavior from their moms.

Agree with all of this. Boys can also be very cruel and always get a pass. It seems that in addition to the country club culture, you find especially mean kids in Lacrosse. The kids of both create a culture of exclusivity that usually extends from their parents behavior.


We have heard so many stories about SR but I think a lot of those parents/families all belong to CCC. We also hear and have read on DCUM so many of these families came from NCS and it was the same atmosphere there too. Why do school admit these families knowing fully well about their exclusive behavior? Is it just about the bottom line "Money"?
Also the 10th grade class at SR is chock full of mean girls. Several girls switched schools because the bullying was so bad. Heard the same about 9th and now 8th too, something toxic is going on over there in the SR school culture.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know they are almost everywhere, but where is this pervasive?

Boys and girls can be equally mean for the record.

We have friends at a variety of private schools in the DC, MD, VA area. The most common theme I hear from friends at all of these schools including ours is that the schools that have a very high percentage of parents that belong to either Chevy or Congo tend to also have a very distinct culture of mean kid/mean parent behavior. Yes, mean parents tend to have mean kids and for whatever reason those families and parents tend to cluster together in a very unhealthy way.

Agree. The 8th grade class at SR has a large number of girls whose families belong to Congo or Chevy. It seems the girls have learned their elitist/exclusive behavior from their moms.

Agree with all of this. Boys can also be very cruel and always get a pass. It seems that in addition to the country club culture, you find especially mean kids in Lacrosse. The kids of both create a culture of exclusivity that usually extends from their parents behavior.

Also the 10th grade class at SR is chock full of mean girls. Several girls switched schools because the bullying was so bad. Heard the same about 9th and now 8th too, something toxic is going on over there in the SR school culture.

Anonymous wrote:I think Mean girls are one thing but beware of Mean moms who make sure the mean girl behavior is multiplied by a 1000. Having said that it is very grade dependent

Anonymous wrote:Madeira is different because almost half the students board on campus. This changes the whole culture. There are plenty of local girls as well but because of the location, it doesn't draw has heavily from places like CC which have the most clique-y culture. Also many girls wind up at Madeira because of interest in the equestrian program and the option to board horses at the school, so you get girls from further out who grew up riding. It's its own thing.

This is very different from schools like Holton or HC where there is a community of families and girls regularly see each other outside of school and some may have grown up in the same neighborhoods, attended the same preschools or lower schools (if different) and yes may belong to the same country clubs or have done extra curricular together. And where parents may know each other and have their own cliques.

Even if your DD is a day student, Madeira is more of a boarding school experience than the other schools in the area. Day students are even assigned to one of the dorms on campus and will do meals and activities with that dorm.

Anonymous wrote:Eager to avoid Chevy parents en masse since our family's first exposure at a local preschool. It's hard to imagine their presence wouldn't exacerbate relational bullying.

With that in mind, does this sound like a good list for middle/upper?: GDS, Sheridan, Madeira, WIS, Burke. Welcome any other ideas

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Anonymous wrote:Holy Cross

+1

Can you elaborate on this? I’ve never spoke with anyone who shared this concern, even family members, so this worries me as someone who has a daughter heading there in the fall.

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You'd be hard pressed to find a mean girl at Madeira.



Hard-pressed to find a mean girl at Madeira? There are mean girls at Madeira, just not as many as at some schools. Someone is obviously drinking the Madeira Kool-Aid and also smoking something while she drinks.

I dunno, PP. My daughter, who is quite sensitive and has definitely seen mean girl behaviors at her K-8, says that she has absolutely not met any mean girls at Madeira. She is rather in awe of that, actually.

+1. The kindness at Madeira is impressive. Not every girl is best friends, but they treat each other respectfully remarkably consistently for this age cohort. Have experienced the opposite elsewhere.

Madeira doesn't really have a lot of girls in the social scene of the DMV. They are not really part of the social scene. My kids do not know anyone that attends Madeira. It is a very separate world from the DC/MD social scene. That may be a good thing? Not sure but it is difficult to compare.

The fact that you mentioned the “social scene” twice while also commenting that your kids don’t know anyone from Madeira is hilarious. I wasn’t aware that 1) there was only one “social scene” in the whole DC area and 2) that it was possible for kids to know everyone in that very same “social scene.” I’m getting the feeling that you belong to one of the country clubs cited upthread. And that your daughter attends one of the schools that have been discussed. And to answer your question as a Madeira mom, your post has confirmed that it is a good thing that Madeira girls may not be a part of this very important and exclusive “social scene” you speak so confidently of.

Actually there is a private school social scene mainly made up of the single sex schools. Not sure why that is but is true and yes Madeira is not part of that. Maybe because geographically they are so far away? They are just not part of it.