Anonymous wrote:I know someone who is a SAHM and she wanted to be that her whole life. She would not be bothered by that comment bc it’s her value system, but she would put them in their place about saying it rudely.

I on the other hand like OP Did not set out going to college and getting advanced degrees to become an SAHM but due to some family issues I needed to do that. Then, I just never went back because my value at home was more for my particular family situation throughout the years.Having worked out of the home for so long and only finding my value in my work success- it made me feel self-conscious about no longer working. Of course that is a ME problem, but if my child that hurtful things to like OP‘s child, it would definitely trigger me. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Humans don’t walk around being unbothered. We have emotions and sometimes we get triggered by things. We are evolving AND the pitting Women against each other is just not helpful.

There are people who work full-time who find new meaning in their jobs and there’s people who work full-time who find a ton of meeting and their jobs. It’s the same for stay at home moms.

All of that being said, I can totally understand why my daughter who plays multiple sports, takes five AP classes this semester, works her butt off to get into a college, wonders why know why I “just” stay at home. But we have had discussions about this and why families have different needs.

Anonymous wrote:So your full time job is parenting and you raised people who talk to you like that?

The performance review is in and it's not good.

Anonymous wrote:Im a SAHM of DD16, DS15, DS13, DD11 and none of them have ever said anything like that or negative at all.

Anonymous wrote:Eh, you can’t win.
I am a highly specialized physician and make 4x what my husband makes. My salary allows us to have a very comfortable life (and I do feel like what I do has a very positive impact on the lives of my patients). I work 50-60 hours a week, and my husband does most of the child care for our teens.

The kids say I “do nothing,” and am “lazy” because when I get home at 9 PM after a hard day I collapse in bed without doing my share of the housework (I do try to do all the housework on weekends!). We went on a great family vacation to London and Paris last year, and they whined the whole time because it was “boring” and they missed their friends.

You sound like a great and dedicated mom. They are teens. Their frontal lobes aren’t fully myelinated yet. Sorry that they are getting to you. Someday they will be thankful…. Just not now

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid said anything like that, it would be the one and only time. But playing tennis and doing Pilates is just asking for a comment. You’re a kept women.

And you are so ugly that you have to pay money to be married to your DH. No gravy train for you. No man wants to work hard to provide for you and your children. The uglies need to do triple duty. Work at home, work for pay and also give birth and raise kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If my kid said anything like that, it would be the one and only time. But playing tennis and doing Pilates is just asking for a comment. You’re a kept women.

And you are so ugly that you have to pay money to be married to your DH. No gravy train for you. No man wants to work hard to provide for you and your children. The uglies need to do triple duty. Work at home, work for pay and also give birth and raise kids.

Anonymous wrote:If my kid said anything like that, it would be the one and only time. But playing tennis and doing Pilates is just asking for a comment. You’re a kept women.

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Anonymous wrote:It’s laughable that you claim being a sahm to teens is just as difficult as being a sahm to babies/toddlers. If you’re that exhausted scale back the Pilates and tennis.

If your kid is asking “what do you do all day” then it seems like you’re not doing a great job being a sahm

Teens are much harder. We are going from after school till 10pm some nights with activities. Sports are sometimes at 5 am.

But you have 6 hours to yourself to do whatever you want. And your teens can wipe their own butts and make their own snacks. SAHm to babies and toddlers is a relentless slog all day then they go to sleep and you’re cleaning up from the mess and then sleep and repeat.

YOURE not the one doing the activities; youre just driving. Its not that hard.

Babies and toddlers sleep like 14 hours a day. If you have no time to yourself as a SAHM of babies and toddlers, you are doing it wrong.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It bothers you OP because there's truth in what they say: playing tennis all day and doing pilates is not work it just isn't.

But why is “work” somehow a more meaningful way to fill time? Work is a means to make money. If you don’t need the money, there nothing superior about working. Most people are not working super fulfilling meaningful jobs, and they are replaceable near immediately anyhow.

Mm, you're literally doing nothing meaningful and claim to be a SAhM you are not. You can't be mad at your kid for pointing out you do nothing all day, you also can't be mad at your kid for saying you don't know what hard work is when you don't work. In short be quiet and sip your wine.