I'm a fed and have been in the office the whole time. My spouse doesn't work because it isn't possible to do drop off/pick up and get the kids where they needed to be with her being in an Office.

I despised telework feds who would always tell me their "teleworking" at school pick up or when they're at my son's baseball practice at 4 pm when I just took an hour of leave so I could be there on time.

We all know people were watching their kids on telework and doing things other than working. So glad it is over and people are being held accountable.

I remember having a rough commute and day in the office and my friend made a comment like "you choose an in person job". I get a kick out of telling these people who now have an 1.5 hour commute "you choose this job, enjoy it".

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are both feds with 5 kids ranging from 11 to 10mos twins. This is my 2nd week back and my husband will RTO full time next week. Quality of life is definitely going down with the commuting time and I feel horrible about my kid's long days now that most of them are schoolage with no naptime. We are also spending more money in addition to already paying for expensive ass childcare, but it's not enough for one of us to quit. The Sunday scaries have been real. I have to constantly remind myself to be thankful I still have a job.

I'll be honest, you likely would have stopped at three (or even two) if you were 10 years older. Three kids in DC is kind of a status symbol, but I don't know anybody with more than 3 and no SAHM parent (or part-time parent with older kids). The grind is real with that many kids and the level of activities that DC area families participate in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

Oh FFS! You can't be so obtuseas to not understand the concept of a commute.

How do you think people got to work prior to COVID making everyone feel entitled to WFH? Do you think people were flown into work on the wings of angels? Are commutes a brand-new thing that just occurred a few weeks ago? I can see where you feel it sucks that the gig is up, but this is not impossible to navigate. It just may be impossible to navigate 100% on your terms.

Before Covid, people had years to make childcare plans. I was given 3 days notice to RTO. That makes it difficult for some to figure something out that covers the extra time spent commuting, especially mid school year.

With three days notice, I would just bring the children to work with me until I found a daycare to put them in.

+1. I had to bring my kids in a few times over the years (I do nonprofit work, no access to expensive backup daycare like my lawyer friends). Nobody cared (or if they did, they didn't have the balls to say anything to me). I feel for folks caught off guard, but, if you don't like RTO get a new job. This is the reality. I don't understand why RTO is anti-feminist. I'll agree anti-family, but, men are impacted by this too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

Oh FFS! You can't be so obtuseas to not understand the concept of a commute.

How do you think people got to work prior to COVID making everyone feel entitled to WFH? Do you think people were flown into work on the wings of angels? Are commutes a brand-new thing that just occurred a few weeks ago? I can see where you feel it sucks that the gig is up, but this is not impossible to navigate. It just may be impossible to navigate 100% on your terms.

Before Covid, people had years to make childcare plans. I was given 3 days notice to RTO. That makes it difficult for some to figure something out that covers the extra time spent commuting, especially mid school year.

Before COVID people prioritized their commute when buying a home. With record low interest rates, people purchased homes further away than they would have pre-COVID. Now they’re stuck with outrageous commutes that even make standard childcare hours difficult. It sounds like everyone in this thread has a 2 hour commute each way.

You write as though everyone has single income households. My husband and I have ALWAYS struggled with having jobs in different places and figuring out who gets the outrageous commute. We are both very specialized in our fields and there have never been jobs for both of us open in the same time and place.

My husband got flexibility and telework before I did (pre-covid), so we used to live closer to my work. Then I got telework ability and he got a 5 day in person job, so we moved closer to his. Nobody having any flexibility is a new and frankly worse world for us.

And you write as if everyone is able to pick up and move every time their job changes… sounds like you don’t have kids or own a home

I have both. We certainly can't afford to move close in to DC right now.

My husband and I are both feds with 5 kids ranging from 11 to 10mos twins. This is my 2nd week back and my husband will RTO full time next week. Quality of life is definitely going down with the commuting time and I feel horrible about my kid's long days now that most of them are schoolage with no naptime. We are also spending more money in addition to already paying for expensive ass childcare, but it's not enough for one of us to quit. The Sunday scaries have been real. I have to constantly remind myself to be thankful I still have a job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

This. I’m really aghast that so many people were cheating the system!

How were they cheating the system?

its illegal (in the case of govt related jobs or contracting) to perform childcare duties and bill hours. It's against most company policies to do the same.

+1 Even if your employer doesn't have a policy against this, I really don't have sympathy for people who are getting paid for a full time job but don't have full time child care for their young children
- working parent of a young child

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

Oh FFS! You can't be so obtuseas to not understand the concept of a commute.

How do you think people got to work prior to COVID making everyone feel entitled to WFH? Do you think people were flown into work on the wings of angels? Are commutes a brand-new thing that just occurred a few weeks ago? I can see where you feel it sucks that the gig is up, but this is not impossible to navigate. It just may be impossible to navigate 100% on your terms.

Before Covid, people had years to make childcare plans. I was given 3 days notice to RTO. That makes it difficult for some to figure something out that covers the extra time spent commuting, especially mid school year.

Before COVID people prioritized their commute when buying a home. With record low interest rates, people purchased homes further away than they would have pre-COVID. Now they’re stuck with outrageous commutes that even make standard childcare hours difficult. It sounds like everyone in this thread has a 2 hour commute each way.

You write as though everyone has single income households. My husband and I have ALWAYS struggled with having jobs in different places and figuring out who gets the outrageous commute. We are both very specialized in our fields and there have never been jobs for both of us open in the same time and place.

My husband got flexibility and telework before I did (pre-covid), so we used to live closer to my work. Then I got telework ability and he got a 5 day in person job, so we moved closer to his. Nobody having any flexibility is a new and frankly worse world for us.

And you write as if everyone is able to pick up and move every time their job changes… sounds like you don’t have kids or own a home

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

Oh FFS! You can't be so obtuseas to not understand the concept of a commute.

How do you think people got to work prior to COVID making everyone feel entitled to WFH? Do you think people were flown into work on the wings of angels? Are commutes a brand-new thing that just occurred a few weeks ago? I can see where you feel it sucks that the gig is up, but this is not impossible to navigate. It just may be impossible to navigate 100% on your terms.

Before Covid, people had years to make childcare plans. I was given 3 days notice to RTO. That makes it difficult for some to figure something out that covers the extra time spent commuting, especially mid school year.

Before COVID people prioritized their commute when buying a home. With record low interest rates, people purchased homes further away than they would have pre-COVID. Now they’re stuck with outrageous commutes that even make standard childcare hours difficult. It sounds like everyone in this thread has a 2 hour commute each way.

You write as though everyone has single income households. My husband and I have ALWAYS struggled with having jobs in different places and figuring out who gets the outrageous commute. We are both very specialized in our fields and there have never been jobs for both of us open in the same time and place.

My husband got flexibility and telework before I did (pre-covid), so we used to live closer to my work. Then I got telework ability and he got a 5 day in person job, so we moved closer to his. Nobody having any flexibility is a new and frankly worse world for us.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

Oh FFS! You can't be so obtuseas to not understand the concept of a commute.

How do you think people got to work prior to COVID making everyone feel entitled to WFH? Do you think people were flown into work on the wings of angels? Are commutes a brand-new thing that just occurred a few weeks ago? I can see where you feel it sucks that the gig is up, but this is not impossible to navigate. It just may be impossible to navigate 100% on your terms.

Before Covid, people had years to make childcare plans. I was given 3 days notice to RTO. That makes it difficult for some to figure something out that covers the extra time spent commuting, especially mid school year.

Before COVID people prioritized their commute when buying a home. With record low interest rates, people purchased homes further away than they would have pre-COVID. Now they’re stuck with outrageous commutes that even make standard childcare hours difficult. It sounds like everyone in this thread has a 2 hour commute each way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you worked at a company that outright banned telework and required you be on site 42.5 hours per week, monitored by badging out with time cards that are a felony to misrepresent on, I don’t want to hear how you managed pre covid. Jesus christ, people. Your quite cushy lives in 2019 are not comparable in this situation. Not at all.

Every defense contractor requires badging in and out. Nothing was cushy and nothing is new or harder for you. Timecards are as old as time. Get over your stupid self.

This! My work checked all of those boxes pre, during and post Covid. And speaking of cushy, a friend who works for the FDA and is worried about losing her job/bemoaning RTO in March told me last night at our kids' basketball practice (that I practically killed myself to get home in time to get to) that today is her Friday since she "works" remote tomorrow.

This doesn’t even make sense?! What does her “Friday” even mean. Why are you upset she has managed to find a job that allows her work/life balance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

This. I’m really aghast that so many people were cheating the system!

How were they cheating the system?

its illegal (in the case of govt related jobs or contracting) to perform childcare duties and bill hours. It's against most company policies to do the same.

If you actually took time to read comments instead of making assumptions that fit your narrative of WFH you’d see that no one is saying they are watching children while working. All people are saying is they will get less time with their children since now when they get off work at 4pm they have to commute an hour or so to get home.

Why are you so bitter towards working parents getting more time with their children??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless you worked at a company that outright banned telework and required you be on site 42.5 hours per week, monitored by badging out with time cards that are a felony to misrepresent on, I don’t want to hear how you managed pre covid. Jesus christ, people. Your quite cushy lives in 2019 are not comparable in this situation. Not at all.

Every defense contractor requires badging in and out. Nothing was cushy and nothing is new or harder for you. Timecards are as old as time. Get over your stupid self.

This! My work checked all of those boxes pre, during and post Covid. And speaking of cushy, a friend who works for the FDA and is worried about losing her job/bemoaning RTO in March told me last night at our kids' basketball practice (that I practically killed myself to get home in time to get to) that today is her Friday since she "works" remote tomorrow.

Anonymous wrote:I hate these posts so much. Parents have been dealing with both working outside the home for 50+ years and now all of a sudden these folks can't figure this out? It's so annoying and petty. Stop being a crybaby and figure it out like literally everyone one else.

I agree that it can be figured out but 1. It requires notice/time and 2. There is a lifestyle upgrade for remote workers and it sucks to have to give it up.

I'm not a government worker but I work 4 days a week from home and I wouldn't want to give this up for anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

This. I’m really aghast that so many people were cheating the system!

How were they cheating the system?

its illegal (in the case of govt related jobs or contracting) to perform childcare duties and bill hours. It's against most company policies to do the same.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should manage childcare for RTO the same way you manage it for WFH. You are not supposed to be dropping off and picking up on the clock. Nor are you supposed to be caring for your kids at home. You were supposed to have a childcare plan this whole time. WFH is not your childcare plan. Why are you just now trying to figure it out.

This. I’m really aghast that so many people were cheating the system!

How were they cheating the system?