Anonymous wrote:Long time lurker needing to vent. DD (20 years old, finishing her sophomore year) has applied to more competitive schools three times (two times as a college student one time as a high schooler) and gotten rejected all times. She’s currently at a private I never wanted her at in the first place.

Back in high school, she was a decent student (mostly B’s, a few A’s, not a good test taker) but not great, so I knew the Ivies and top-tier schools would be a stretch. But I thought for sure she could work her way up once in college. She’s poured her heart into her first two years at this lower place, taking challenging classes, getting decent grades, volunteering, clubs, etc.

Yet every single “higher” school she applied to has shot her down. Northeastern, Georgetown, UCLA, Tulane, UVA, Wake Forest, William and Mary, USC (dream school), UCSD, Irvine, UT Austin, UFlorida, Georgia, BostonU, BostonC, etc. She has one more chance to apply to transfer before she hits the credit limit that makes transferring impractical not to mention the additional semesters of tuition it would cost us. If this last try doesn’t work out, she’ll be stuck finishing at the same no-name place. This feels like the end of the road for her future possibilities, and I’m heartbroken, and honestly, kind of furious.

I understand maybe this is just “how it is,” but I see other kids in her high school class who breezed into brand-name colleges left and right. We spent thousands of dollars on tutoring, SAT prep, extracurricular camps, you name it. She’s a bright kid but apparently not bright enough for the pretentious and sadistic admissions committees.

Has anyone else gone through a situation like this? I’m trying to figure out if we have any last-ditch strategies, or if I just have to come to terms with the fact that my daughter may have to remain at a school that, in my heart, I believe is beneath her potential. I just want honest opinions and some glimmer of hope. Thanks for reading, everyone.

Anonymous wrote:I feel so bad for your daughter. She's spent the last two years feeling like she's disappointed you and that she's isn't successful enough. Instead, she should have been focusing on growing a community at her current school, including getting involved in activities and developing relationships with professors.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a disturbed poster who's been active on SDN and Reddit for 15 years now after having failed out of med school at UVM in the '90s and Ross in 2007ish. She is now 58 years old, unemployed, a quarter of a million dollars in debt, and keeps retaking the MCAT (and getting terrible scores) because she is pathologically unable to accept that completing med school is never going to happen. Because she got a decent MCAT score in 1990, so she reasons that the "next time" will be when it finally all comes back together. She has completely destroyed her entire life and achieved nothing, with her pathological inability to move on to Plan B after a setback three decades ago. I follow her ramblings out of morbid fascination but it's actually very depressing and pathetic.

I've always wondered how she ended up like this and this thread seems like the same sort of seed. Don't let this happen to your DD. At some points in life we have to turn away from the closed doors and accept that the open window leading to multiple other paths should be pursued with optimism and commitment. You sound bitter and fixated and it's probably damaging your daughter. You can do better, for her sake.

Can you please provide a link to this person's posts? I'm so curious to read them.

Anonymous wrote:There's a disturbed poster who's been active on SDN and Reddit for 15 years now after having failed out of med school at UVM in the '90s and Ross in 2007ish. She is now 58 years old, unemployed, a quarter of a million dollars in debt, and keeps retaking the MCAT (and getting terrible scores) because she is pathologically unable to accept that completing med school is never going to happen. Because she got a decent MCAT score in 1990, so she reasons that the "next time" will be when it finally all comes back together. She has completely destroyed her entire life and achieved nothing, with her pathological inability to move on to Plan B after a setback three decades ago. I follow her ramblings out of morbid fascination but it's actually very depressing and pathetic.

I've always wondered how she ended up like this and this thread seems like the same sort of seed. Don't let this happen to your DD. At some points in life we have to turn away from the closed doors and accept that the open window leading to multiple other paths should be pursued with optimism and commitment. You sound bitter and fixated and it's probably damaging your daughter. You can do better, for her sake.

Anonymous wrote:Long time lurker needing to vent. DD (20 years old, finishing her sophomore year) has applied to more competitive schools three times (two times as a college student one time as a high schooler) and gotten rejected all times. She’s currently at a private I never wanted her at in the first place.

Back in high school, she was a decent student (mostly B’s, a few A’s, not a good test taker) but not great, so I knew the Ivies and top-tier schools would be a stretch. But I thought for sure she could work her way up once in college. She’s poured her heart into her first two years at this lower place, taking challenging classes, getting decent grades, volunteering, clubs, etc.

Yet every single “higher” school she applied to has shot her down. Northeastern, Georgetown, UCLA, Tulane, UVA, Wake Forest, William and Mary, USC (dream school), UCSD, Irvine, UT Austin, UFlorida, Georgia, BostonU, BostonC, etc. She has one more chance to apply to transfer before she hits the credit limit that makes transferring impractical not to mention the additional semesters of tuition it would cost us. If this last try doesn’t work out, she’ll be stuck finishing at the same no-name place. This feels like the end of the road for her future possibilities, and I’m heartbroken, and honestly, kind of furious.

I understand maybe this is just “how it is,” but I see other kids in her high school class who breezed into brand-name colleges left and right. We spent thousands of dollars on tutoring, SAT prep, extracurricular camps, you name it. She’s a bright kid but apparently not bright enough for the pretentious and sadistic admissions committees.

Has anyone else gone through a situation like this? I’m trying to figure out if we have any last-ditch strategies, or if I just have to come to terms with the fact that my daughter may have to remain at a school that, in my heart, I believe is beneath her potential. I just want honest opinions and some glimmer of hope. Thanks for reading, everyone.

Anonymous wrote:How about transferring into a woman's college? They provide a ton of support and the alumni networks will be helpful for jobs in marketing. In fact, I know someone who got a job at Disney right out of Scripps and is now a senior VP in marketing at another media company that everyone here would know.

Honestly, this place is MUCH less helpful and friendly than it used to be.