Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

But if that were true you would t feel it necessary to blast a PSA to a random message board. You’d just address it (again) with your family and not assume that your personal stance in deciding to take offense at a standard etiquette practice is shared by all. It isn’t. You just happen to be offended by this and your own relatives won’t listen to your preferences so you are venting on DCUM as though this is a universal issue.

The standard etiquette practice is to call people what they wished to be called, not what you think they should be called. Also, can you not think if any etiquette practices that used to be standard but are now seen as archaic and outdated? Do you always find evolution so difficult?

You've got it the directions wrong. Evolution is supposed to ensure the survival of the species by making us stronger, faster, better. I don't see how worrying about this stuff or making it so where people have to remember (or at least write down) 150 individualized naming conventions for 100 different people (can't forget the 2 spirits!) makes us stronger and better as a people.

Also, my 3-year old would like his Christmas Cards addressed to Sir T-Rex Vader, Defender of the Galaxy. Please feel free to follow your standard etiquette practice as you see fit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women that keep their last name are obnoxious

The two part last name are kinda’ obnoxious too.

My sister did that and still does as a divorced woman

What are the rules on that ?
Anyone know?

Anonymous wrote:Ha ha well joke's on me because we got another two cards addressed to Mr and Mrs husband's first name today. They are all from people who live in the same geographical area, who know my husband through his parents and sibling.

I am just going to write off this whole area as a bunch of backwards, well-meaning weirdos and try not to give this any more thought.

Anonymous wrote:Can't wait until OP has to address wedding invitations and has to
learn etiquette.

Anonymous wrote:How many of you who explain your actions as "tradition" believe in equality between men and women?

Anonymous wrote:Can't wait until OP has to address wedding invitations and has to
learn etiquette.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one cares about your last name. Get a hobby.

Unfortunately DCUM is my hobby, so

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everything needs to be taken personally as though it was meant to offend you.

Except it's close family and we've brought it up with them a couple of times in years past already because I do not like it. I don't think it's MEANT to offend me. And I'm not offended. I'm irritated.

But if that were true you would t feel it necessary to blast a PSA to a random message board. You’d just address it (again) with your family and not assume that your personal stance in deciding to take offense at a standard etiquette practice is shared by all. It isn’t. You just happen to be offended by this and your own relatives won’t listen to your preferences so you are venting on DCUM as though this is a universal issue.

There is no point in addressing it again with them because we've addressed it multiple times and today the card addressed to Mr and Mrs husband's first name arrived again like clockwork. I don't have endless tolerance, or endless hope, and I also don't have any reason to believe that this is the time - it really really is! - they'll just update the stupid spreadsheet.

So I'm venting here. Not "blasting" anyone - what an overblown word! - just venting a little bit. And also perhaps asking people to consider whether they are addressing people in the way that people want to be addressed - and if not, why they persist in this stupid habit of erasing women's identity like this. It's one little thing, and it's annoying.

Some people like tradition. And yes, it's one little thing... open the envelope, look at the card and be glad that someone took the time to remember your family.

People who like tradition feel the same way about people who want to destroy all traditions. You chip and chip and chip away at social norms. It gets old and finally, we end up with people who feel it is "emotional labor" to engage with family members, who refuse to host, who refuse to cook a holiday meal, etc. because they feel it is oppression. Everyone ends up worse off, even the harpy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

But if that were true you would t feel it necessary to blast a PSA to a random message board. You’d just address it (again) with your family and not assume that your personal stance in deciding to take offense at a standard etiquette practice is shared by all. It isn’t. You just happen to be offended by this and your own relatives won’t listen to your preferences so you are venting on DCUM as though this is a universal issue.

The standard etiquette practice is to call people what they wished to be called, not what you think they should be called. Also, can you not think if any etiquette practices that used to be standard but are now seen as archaic and outdated? Do you always find evolution so difficult?

You've got it the directions wrong. Evolution is supposed to ensure the survival of the species by making us stronger, faster, better. I don't see how worrying about this stuff or making it so where people have to remember (or at least write down) 150 individualized naming conventions for 100 different people (can't forget the 2 spirits!) makes us stronger and better as a people.

Also, my 3-year old would like his Christmas Cards addressed to Sir T-Rex Vader, Defender of the Galaxy. Please feel free to follow your standard etiquette practice as you see fit.

Anonymous wrote:It's really not hard to just write "Jane and John Doe" instead of "Mr. And Mrs. John Doe." I'm with you, OP.