I haven’t gone into an office 5 days per week since my probationary period circa 2010.

Musk and Ramaswamy are trying to go back to the 90s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those of you bragging about how you don’t do stuff with your kids after school and how you spent plenty of childcare money/hours in traffic and bent over backwards to be in an office because your boss said so with one parent getting home late … this isn’t the flex you think it is.

To quote Varsity Blues: “I don’t want your life.”

Look, I don’t want FT RTO either. But the fact is you do need to plan your life, and it’s not a foregone conclusion that all parents need to dedicate all this time to after school activities. It’s not even clearly good for kids. Women placing these expectations on themselves (and it’s generally women) are going to drive themselves crazy. Your kid does not need to do travel soccer. They can do the school sports team and get themselves to and from there.

But if your vision IS that you spend from 4-7 shuttling your kid around, then yes, you need a better plan than perpetual FT WFH especially if you are a fed. Set your life up so you can prioritize what’s important to you. That may mean you and your DH flex in opposite directions, choosing a more modest home with a shorter commute, one parent going PT, or investing in childcare.

And your bosses don’t actually need all employees in a random office building for 8+ hours a day to do the same computer-based work that they have been successfully accomplishing from elsewhere.

You are SO pathetic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another reason why 1950s America was better.

For white mothers.
Black mothers didn’t have that privilege

Yes, Black women had it more difficult but, let's not put women against each other

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those of you bragging about how you don’t do stuff with your kids after school and how you spent plenty of childcare money/hours in traffic and bent over backwards to be in an office because your boss said so with one parent getting home late … this isn’t the flex you think it is.

To quote Varsity Blues: “I don’t want your life.”

Look, I don’t want FT RTO either. But the fact is you do need to plan your life, and it’s not a foregone conclusion that all parents need to dedicate all this time to after school activities. It’s not even clearly good for kids. Women placing these expectations on themselves (and it’s generally women) are going to drive themselves crazy. Your kid does not need to do travel soccer. They can do the school sports team and get themselves to and from there.

But if your vision IS that you spend from 4-7 shuttling your kid around, then yes, you need a better plan than perpetual FT WFH especially if you are a fed. Set your life up so you can prioritize what’s important to you. That may mean you and your DH flex in opposite directions, choosing a more modest home with a shorter commute, one parent going PT, or investing in childcare.

Well my kids’ elementary school doesn’t have sports teams. Rec level practices tend to be … after school with 1-2 practices/week. Times 2 kids that can be several days per week you need a parent around. And we let ours take at home music lessons 2x/month. I hardly consider a sport and an instrument overscheduled.

And I did build my life around this by taking a fed job that has allowed telework since before Obama. I guess before having kids I should have foreseen a reality show entertainer would take over our country and pimp it out to a couple deranged billionaires who want to destroy and de-regulate our government to pad their own investment accounts. But since I didn’t I guess I’ll have to look for more flexible/higher paying work in the private sector.

I don’t know why so many people are acting like WAH has been some recent COVID perk when it’s been around for a very long time. Getting “back to reality” by RTO 5 days per week is more draconian than many jobs were (including mine) 15 years ago.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another reason why 1950s America was better.

Nope. I would’ve been shunned as a single mother back then.

Why do you assume you would have been a single mother back then?

If I married the same man, I would’ve. I am not a punching bag in any decade.

Plenty of people have been working in person for years now. You all should have plenty of money saved up from years of not having to pay for childcare because you’ve been working from home.

I can see why you’re a single mother. You’re right, you’d probably be single in any era.

I’m happy to be a single parent. I don’t put up with the crap so many DCUMs do so that they can maintain their current lifestyle. What are your children learning from their mother who takes abuse from their father? My kids are very self reliant and hard working.

You sound like the type of woman that emotionally and verbally abuses her husband, actually. That’s why he wanted to get away from you. Your poor kids, though.

Lol. He’s the one who went to jail for spousal abuse. Good riddance to him. My kids are better off living without an unhinged abuser.

That's just sad no matter how you look at it. No winners in that situation.

- np

Anonymous wrote:For those of you bragging about how you don’t do stuff with your kids after school and how you spent plenty of childcare money/hours in traffic and bent over backwards to be in an office because your boss said so with one parent getting home late … this isn’t the flex you think it is.

To quote Varsity Blues: “I don’t want your life.”

Look, I don’t want FT RTO either. But the fact is you do need to plan your life, and it’s not a foregone conclusion that all parents need to dedicate all this time to after school activities. It’s not even clearly good for kids. Women placing these expectations on themselves (and it’s generally women) are going to drive themselves crazy. Your kid does not need to do travel soccer. They can do the school sports team and get themselves to and from there.

But if your vision IS that you spend from 4-7 shuttling your kid around, then yes, you need a better plan than perpetual FT WFH especially if you are a fed. Set your life up so you can prioritize what’s important to you. That may mean you and your DH flex in opposite directions, choosing a more modest home with a shorter commute, one parent going PT, or investing in childcare.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another reason why 1950s America was better.

Nope. I would’ve been shunned as a single mother back then.

Why do you assume you would have been a single mother back then?

If I married the same man, I would’ve. I am not a punching bag in any decade.

Plenty of people have been working in person for years now. You all should have plenty of money saved up from years of not having to pay for childcare because you’ve been working from home.

I can see why you’re a single mother. You’re right, you’d probably be single in any era.

I’m happy to be a single parent. I don’t put up with the crap so many DCUMs do so that they can maintain their current lifestyle. What are your children learning from their mother who takes abuse from their father? My kids are very self reliant and hard working.

You sound like the type of woman that emotionally and verbally abuses her husband, actually. That’s why he wanted to get away from you. Your poor kids, though.

Lol. He’s the one who went to jail for spousal abuse. Good riddance to him. My kids are better off living without an unhinged abuser.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue for me is the 8-6 in office requirement. Right now, I work 8-5, pick up my kids, and then work a few more hours at home in the evening. Daycare closes at 6 and I have a 45 minute commute, so I'm not sure what I will go if the 8-6 requirement goes into effect.

Right. I think that is what the childcare threads are talking about. It’s not lack of childcare it’s the commutes along with the 8-6pm requirement. If before care and aftercare is from 7:30-6 and my commute is an hour it doesn’t work.

It works if there are TWO responsible parents. you stagger your days: DH does drop off and gets home later; DW does pickup and gets home earlier. When my kid was little and in daycare I left for work at 7:45, worked from 830-5, picked him up by 530, home by 6:15. DH dropped him off in the morning, got to the office later, and worked pretty late (maybe until 730 or so most nights).

Later on we got a part-time babysitter for after school so that made it even easier - we would stagger drop off at 8:30 and then the other just needed to be home around 6-630.

DP, but this sounds like a horrible way to live.

DH and I have both teleworked since well before COVID. Kids get off the bus at 4:10 so I work 7:30-4. DH handles mornings with them and then works 9-5ish. We don’t want our kids in childcare until 5:30 at night, that is way too long. How do they have any energy for extracurriculars after that? Or do they just not get to do them?

And one parent getting home at 6:30-7:30? That would never work for us. We are involved in coaching after school sports and days they don’t have sports they can be home to play with neighborhood kids. We don’t want our kids to have to be out of the house 9-10 hours per day for our jobs.

I get some people have no other options, but thankfully DH and I have advanced degrees and good career options. If I had to RTO full time then I’d quit and find something else. Also DH makes enough in the private sector to carry us for a while.

This was when my kid was little. it was fine. 4 year olds don’t need extracurriculars. many many families in our school did the same.

Not all of us have 4 year olds. Many of us have elementary/middle school kids who cannot get themselves to activities after school.

Well you chose a school and neighborhood and activities where kids have to be driven around. We created a life where kid can walk and just do activities after school. Anything requiring a lot of parental involvement happens on the weekends.

I also live in a walkable inside the beltway area close to metro, but not every single thing can be accessed without a parent. Also some of it is at their school so I go there to meet them, I don’t reserve involvement in my children’s lives for just Saturday and Sunday.

Your kids don’t have to do “every single thing.”

Anonymous wrote:For those of you bragging about how you don’t do stuff with your kids after school and how you spent plenty of childcare money/hours in traffic and bent over backwards to be in an office because your boss said so with one parent getting home late … this isn’t the flex you think it is.

To quote Varsity Blues: “I don’t want your life.”

+1

It’s so sad to see so many people worshiping billionaires while bragging about whatever crumbs they can find on their hands and knees.

It’s pathetic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another reason why 1950s America was better.

Nope. I would’ve been shunned as a single mother back then.

Why do you assume you would have been a single mother back then?

If I married the same man, I would’ve. I am not a punching bag in any decade.

Plenty of people have been working in person for years now. You all should have plenty of money saved up from years of not having to pay for childcare because you’ve been working from home.

I can see why you’re a single mother. You’re right, you’d probably be single in any era.

I’m happy to be a single parent. I don’t put up with the crap so many DCUMs do so that they can maintain their current lifestyle. What are your children learning from their mother who takes abuse from their father? My kids are very self reliant and hard working.

You sound like the type of woman that emotionally and verbally abuses her husband, actually. That’s why he wanted to get away from you. Your poor kids, though.

For those of you bragging about how you don’t do stuff with your kids after school and how you spent plenty of childcare money/hours in traffic and bent over backwards to be in an office because your boss said so with one parent getting home late … this isn’t the flex you think it is.

To quote Varsity Blues: “I don’t want your life.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another reason why 1950s America was better.

Nope. I would’ve been shunned as a single mother back then.

Why do you assume you would have been a single mother back then?

If I married the same man, I would’ve. I am not a punching bag in any decade.

Plenty of people have been working in person for years now. You all should have plenty of money saved up from years of not having to pay for childcare because you’ve been working from home.

I can see why you’re a single mother. You’re right, you’d probably be single in any era.

I’m happy to be a single parent. I don’t put up with the crap so many DCUMs do so that they can maintain their current lifestyle. What are your children learning from their mother who takes abuse from their father? My kids are very self reliant and hard working.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dh is WFH for years now. Its amazing. He works 6-7:30. Then helps get kids off the school. Works again 8:30-4 and is done to get them from the bus and to an activity. I work 8:30-5 (very short commute) and come home and take another one to an activity. They do aftercare 2 days a week so I can have longer days. If he is RTO (unlikely) then it's goodbye to earlier activities and more aftercare and tired kids.

Yup. Kids will suffer a quality of life drop thanks to RTO. This brought to us by the party of “family values.”

Oh boo hoo. Why do you expect to have everything handed to you? It’s called a JOB.

I get it, you bow down to your employer. Some of us have options of where to work and don’t have to just take any JOB.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue for me is the 8-6 in office requirement. Right now, I work 8-5, pick up my kids, and then work a few more hours at home in the evening. Daycare closes at 6 and I have a 45 minute commute, so I'm not sure what I will go if the 8-6 requirement goes into effect.

Right. I think that is what the childcare threads are talking about. It’s not lack of childcare it’s the commutes along with the 8-6pm requirement. If before care and aftercare is from 7:30-6 and my commute is an hour it doesn’t work.

It works if there are TWO responsible parents. you stagger your days: DH does drop off and gets home later; DW does pickup and gets home earlier. When my kid was little and in daycare I left for work at 7:45, worked from 830-5, picked him up by 530, home by 6:15. DH dropped him off in the morning, got to the office later, and worked pretty late (maybe until 730 or so most nights).

Later on we got a part-time babysitter for after school so that made it even easier - we would stagger drop off at 8:30 and then the other just needed to be home around 6-630.

DP, but this sounds like a horrible way to live.

DH and I have both teleworked since well before COVID. Kids get off the bus at 4:10 so I work 7:30-4. DH handles mornings with them and then works 9-5ish. We don’t want our kids in childcare until 5:30 at night, that is way too long. How do they have any energy for extracurriculars after that? Or do they just not get to do them?

And one parent getting home at 6:30-7:30? That would never work for us. We are involved in coaching after school sports and days they don’t have sports they can be home to play with neighborhood kids. We don’t want our kids to have to be out of the house 9-10 hours per day for our jobs.

I get some people have no other options, but thankfully DH and I have advanced degrees and good career options. If I had to RTO full time then I’d quit and find something else. Also DH makes enough in the private sector to carry us for a while.

This was when my kid was little. it was fine. 4 year olds don’t need extracurriculars. many many families in our school did the same.

Not all of us have 4 year olds. Many of us have elementary/middle school kids who cannot get themselves to activities after school.

Well you chose a school and neighborhood and activities where kids have to be driven around. We created a life where kid can walk and just do activities after school. Anything requiring a lot of parental involvement happens on the weekends.

What country do you live in and how expensive is your neighborhood?

I chose a neighborhood with schools most of y’all would turn your nose up at. There is a range of housing available, from affordable apartments to expensive rowhouses. if you insist on a giant house in the burbs, “the best” school, and also not paying for childcare … I do not know what to tell you.

How many families can your neighborhood accommodate?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The issue for me is the 8-6 in office requirement. Right now, I work 8-5, pick up my kids, and then work a few more hours at home in the evening. Daycare closes at 6 and I have a 45 minute commute, so I'm not sure what I will go if the 8-6 requirement goes into effect.

Right. I think that is what the childcare threads are talking about. It’s not lack of childcare it’s the commutes along with the 8-6pm requirement. If before care and aftercare is from 7:30-6 and my commute is an hour it doesn’t work.

It works if there are TWO responsible parents. you stagger your days: DH does drop off and gets home later; DW does pickup and gets home earlier. When my kid was little and in daycare I left for work at 7:45, worked from 830-5, picked him up by 530, home by 6:15. DH dropped him off in the morning, got to the office later, and worked pretty late (maybe until 730 or so most nights).

Later on we got a part-time babysitter for after school so that made it even easier - we would stagger drop off at 8:30 and then the other just needed to be home around 6-630.

DP, but this sounds like a horrible way to live.

DH and I have both teleworked since well before COVID. Kids get off the bus at 4:10 so I work 7:30-4. DH handles mornings with them and then works 9-5ish. We don’t want our kids in childcare until 5:30 at night, that is way too long. How do they have any energy for extracurriculars after that? Or do they just not get to do them?

And one parent getting home at 6:30-7:30? That would never work for us. We are involved in coaching after school sports and days they don’t have sports they can be home to play with neighborhood kids. We don’t want our kids to have to be out of the house 9-10 hours per day for our jobs.

I get some people have no other options, but thankfully DH and I have advanced degrees and good career options. If I had to RTO full time then I’d quit and find something else. Also DH makes enough in the private sector to carry us for a while.

This was when my kid was little. it was fine. 4 year olds don’t need extracurriculars. many many families in our school did the same.

Not all of us have 4 year olds. Many of us have elementary/middle school kids who cannot get themselves to activities after school.

Well you chose a school and neighborhood and activities where kids have to be driven around. We created a life where kid can walk and just do activities after school. Anything requiring a lot of parental involvement happens on the weekends.

I also live in a walkable inside the beltway area close to metro, but not every single thing can be accessed without a parent. Also some of it is at their school so I go there to meet them, I don’t reserve involvement in my children’s lives for just Saturday and Sunday.