Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We need more information. Is a parent required?

Yes he’s only 8. DHs won’t do anything he doesn’t want to. Doesn’t want to drive the kids to soccer? Sounds good to him so better never to sign up the kids for anything. If he won’t enjoy it he won’t do it. Wants to go to the gym so he can work out? That’s fine and they can go to childcare. Ymca childcare is the only thing he will do and he makes a big deal about it. He thinks he’s the most amazing dad ever because he takes them to the y once a week for 2 hours so they can go to babysitting. Apparently the 5 min trip in the car with them is brutal according to him and he’s sacrificing a lot. I’m on the trip now and really feeling mad at him. I have to push some heavy cart with our stuff and I’m other men are needing to help. What kind of man sends a pregnant wife and young kid to go on a trip alone? We aren’t staying in a hotel.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. We drove back out this morning for breakfast and to help clean up. My husband helped with the clean up and got to see the campsite and the cabins. I think he’ll feel more comfortable on the next trip. Some of the reason may be him being uncomfortable and not knowing what it’s like, if he will fit in etc. He is really handy and likes volunteering. I told him camping seems more like his personality compared to staying at a fancy hotel. We both grew up not really going on vacations and staying in hotels. Vacations were to extended family members and always within our country. He can also sleep on the floor and does that from time to time because it helps with back pain. Thanks for the support. I’m not going to read anymore because I don’t want to cause myself anymore stress.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why cub scouts is going out of fashion. Declining membership every year. It is just too much for families and no village.

Oh please, you don't need a "village" to do scouts, you need a parent. And this kid apparently has 2 but 1 is an enormous dud.

I mean it's fine to choose a different activity but we are in scouts and there is nothing onerous about it. Camping is an optional weekend activity for which yes parents are needed for younger kids. In ours it's usually the whole family that comes.

Why do you need one parent per child in Boy Scouts? In Girl Scouts, the ratios go up as the girls get older, but even at the youngest ages, it's 6 kids per one adult, even for overnight camping. I've never been on a Girl Scouts camping trip.

Because they had a major sex abuse scandal, obviously. But still, 6 kids per adult at the youngest ages for a Girl Scout camping trip sounds rough to me.

My daughters went camping starting in first grade and there were 4 adults for 10 girls. It's usually the troop leaders plus a few extra volunteers, but never one to one, which seems like excess. Dads are allowed to go camping, too, as long as they are background checked and have a separate place to sleep and separate bathroom. I'm not that familiar with Boy Scouts, but I believe they're much larger than Girl Scouts, right? So maybe that's why? Because they don't know each other as well as in the small Girl Scout troops? I have no idea, just guessing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I'm not hearing what I'm here for.
I'm here for suggestions of consequences OP can inflict onto her shitty husband.
I'm here for suggestions of actions OP can take to radically show her DH that he's a selfish POS and she's not going to take it anymore.

Please give OP and myself those suggestions. My microwave popcorn is getting cold, and cold fake butter is nasty. We've wasted so many pages of "divorce him" and victim blaming.

She needs to go away for a three day weekend and have him care for the kid the entire time.

He’s taking care of the younger son the whole time OP is gone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I'm not hearing what I'm here for.
I'm here for suggestions of consequences OP can inflict onto her shitty husband.
I'm here for suggestions of actions OP can take to radically show her DH that he's a selfish POS and she's not going to take it anymore.

Please give OP and myself those suggestions. My microwave popcorn is getting cold, and cold fake butter is nasty. We've wasted so many pages of "divorce him" and victim blaming.

She needs to go away for a three day weekend and have him care for the kid the entire time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why cub scouts is going out of fashion. Declining membership every year. It is just too much for families and no village.

Oh please, you don't need a "village" to do scouts, you need a parent. And this kid apparently has 2 but 1 is an enormous dud.

I mean it's fine to choose a different activity but we are in scouts and there is nothing onerous about it. Camping is an optional weekend activity for which yes parents are needed for younger kids. In ours it's usually the whole family that comes.

Why do you need one parent per child in Boy Scouts? In Girl Scouts, the ratios go up as the girls get older, but even at the youngest ages, it's 6 kids per one adult, even for overnight camping. I've never been on a Girl Scouts camping trip.

Because they had a major sex abuse scandal, obviously. But still, 6 kids per adult at the youngest ages for a Girl Scout camping trip sounds rough to me.

My daughters went camping starting in first grade and there were 4 adults for 10 girls. It's usually the troop leaders plus a few extra volunteers, but never one to one, which seems like excess. Dads are allowed to go camping, too, as long as they are background checked and have a separate place to sleep and separate bathroom. I'm not that familiar with Boy Scouts, but I believe they're much larger than Girl Scouts, right? So maybe that's why? Because they don't know each other as well as in the small Girl Scout troops? I have no idea, just guessing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why cub scouts is going out of fashion. Declining membership every year. It is just too much for families and no village.

Oh please, you don't need a "village" to do scouts, you need a parent. And this kid apparently has 2 but 1 is an enormous dud.

I mean it's fine to choose a different activity but we are in scouts and there is nothing onerous about it. Camping is an optional weekend activity for which yes parents are needed for younger kids. In ours it's usually the whole family that comes.

Why do you need one parent per child in Boy Scouts? In Girl Scouts, the ratios go up as the girls get older, but even at the youngest ages, it's 6 kids per one adult, even for overnight camping. I've never been on a Girl Scouts camping trip.

Because they had a major sex abuse scandal, obviously. But still, 6 kids per adult at the youngest ages for a Girl Scout camping trip sounds rough to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op take kid on trip. Pack him up and leave at bed time. Stay in a hotel with a pool. Go for a swim. Get a nice meal. Go back the next morning.

Accept you will divorce and prepare accordingly.

Op here. Thanks this is what I am thinking about doing. We packed up and I am looking for a hotel now. I don’t want to go back home because I’ll be even more stressed. I told dh yesterday my hip was hurting and I wanted him to go. He knows I’m stressed but obviously doesn’t care. Stress is really and for pregnancy. I’m going to do what I need to do I can eventually go back less stressed out.
Sigh. Thanks for the support. I was fine most of the weekend but this afternoon suddenly I just felt so bad. Almost everyone is there with both parents. I feel embarrassed for myself. Unfortunately, I’m not as fast as I am when I am not pregnant.

It really sucks that no one is helping you. I thought the whole point of scouts (boy and girl) was to build a community.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why cub scouts is going out of fashion. Declining membership every year. It is just too much for families and no village.

Oh please, you don't need a "village" to do scouts, you need a parent. And this kid apparently has 2 but 1 is an enormous dud.

I mean it's fine to choose a different activity but we are in scouts and there is nothing onerous about it. Camping is an optional weekend activity for which yes parents are needed for younger kids. In ours it's usually the whole family that comes.

Why do you need one parent per child in Boy Scouts? In Girl Scouts, the ratios go up as the girls get older, but even at the youngest ages, it's 6 kids per one adult, even for overnight camping. I've never been on a Girl Scouts camping trip.

Because they had a major sex abuse scandal, obviously. But still, 6 kids per adult at the youngest ages for a Girl Scout camping trip sounds rough to me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. I'm not hearing what I'm here for.
I'm here for suggestions of consequences OP can inflict onto her shitty husband.
I'm here for suggestions of actions OP can take to radically show her DH that he's a selfish POS and she's not going to take it anymore.

Please give OP and myself those suggestions. My microwave popcorn is getting cold, and cold fake butter is nasty. We've wasted so many pages of "divorce him" and victim blaming.

One idea is for OP to go to these things and then come back and gush over the amazing dads. “Oh it was such a fun camping trip. Larlo’s dad taught the kids how to start a fire and make s’mores and Billy’s dad told all the kids the best ghost stories at night. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to do the group hike because the trail wasn’t safe for pregnant women, but luckily Jimmy’s dad stepped up and took DS along so he wouldn’t be left out.” Take lots of photos including DS with a group of other involved hands on dads. Try to subtly shame him by highlighting all the things good fathers do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op take kid on trip. Pack him up and leave at bed time. Stay in a hotel with a pool. Go for a swim. Get a nice meal. Go back the next morning.

Accept you will divorce and prepare accordingly.

Op here. Thanks this is what I am thinking about doing. We packed up and I am looking for a hotel now. I don’t want to go back home because I’ll be even more stressed. I told dh yesterday my hip was hurting and I wanted him to go. He knows I’m stressed but obviously doesn’t care. Stress is really and for pregnancy. I’m going to do what I need to do I can eventually go back less stressed out.
Sigh. Thanks for the support. I was fine most of the weekend but this afternoon suddenly I just felt so bad. Almost everyone is there with both parents. I feel embarrassed for myself. Unfortunately, I’m not as fast as I am when I am not pregnant.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why cub scouts is going out of fashion. Declining membership every year. It is just too much for families and no village.

Oh please, you don't need a "village" to do scouts, you need a parent. And this kid apparently has 2 but 1 is an enormous dud.

I mean it's fine to choose a different activity but we are in scouts and there is nothing onerous about it. Camping is an optional weekend activity for which yes parents are needed for younger kids. In ours it's usually the whole family that comes.

Why do you need one parent per child in Boy Scouts? In Girl Scouts, the ratios go up as the girls get older, but even at the youngest ages, it's 6 kids per one adult, even for overnight camping. I've never been on a Girl Scouts camping trip.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why cub scouts is going out of fashion. Declining membership every year. It is just too much for families and no village.

Oh please, you don't need a "village" to do scouts, you need a parent. And this kid apparently has 2 but 1 is an enormous dud.

I mean it's fine to choose a different activity but we are in scouts and there is nothing onerous about it. Camping is an optional weekend activity for which yes parents are needed for younger kids. In ours it's usually the whole family that comes.

Why do you need one parent per child in Boy Scouts? In Girl Scouts, the ratios go up as the girls get older, but even at the youngest ages, it's 6 kids per one adult, even for overnight camping. I've never been on a Girl Scouts camping trip.