Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a different kind of love.

I rarely see men who truly try to improve as a parent and not make the mistakes their parents did. It’s more that they try their best, and if their kid gets messed up, they don’t worry about it.

Sort of like romantic relationships. Women are generally the ones who read relationship books and take responsibility for monitoring how the relationship is going. Men rarely do that.

Also far less guilt and shame.

You are dumb and narrow minded

I think it's a generalization, but it's true for many men.

-dp

And many women. So what’s your point?

My point is that more men do this than women. Why do you think the term "deadbeat dad" exists, and not "deadbeat mom" ? Because dads leaving their kids is a lot more common than moms doing so.

Women are generally more connected to their children than men.

Generalize much?

But the PP is right. Men, when they divorce, often walk away from their kids. They threaten their exes with non-payment of support, they TELL THEIR KIDS they won't support them if their mom does XYZ. They put conditions on their love for their children.

Not all men. And occasionally women walk away, but those women are OUTLIERS. They are often mentally ill, or maybe have a drug or alcohol problem. But everybody -EVERYBODY- can probably think of at least ONE man who has been a sup-par father after leaving the mom. One of my cousins -- has littered the state with little kids he doesn't see or support. My sibling's ex put conditions on seeing his child based on what my sister did. Two neighbors divorced - I haven't seen the dads again. The bad behaviour is everywhere.

Oh man I guess I should tap myself on the back because I am now more involved with my kids that I have been before my divorce. For this reason I am glad I am divorced because when I was married I didn't want to be around my kids as much as I do now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I ask this because all the men that I know spend very little time with their kids. They provide financially but make very little effort to spend time with their kids or parent. It seems like many men love the idea of a family but don’t actually want to be an active parent.

I remember watching Jimmy Kimmel and the dad’s couldn’t even get their kid’s birthday’s right. The mom’s knew all the answer’s

The problem is that you are thinking that spending time with the kids equals loving them. You can spend time with kids and hate them. There are different ways to show love.
Men and women express love differently.

I've always heard that for men, they need to physically spend time with a woman to maintain that connection. Is that not the same for their relationship with their kids?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I stayed in a bad marriage until my kids went to college because I love them. My kids and I are still close. Now that I'm divorced, I hear about dads who don't care about their kids much. I also know a lot of grown women whose fathers didn't care much. Some of those women really go after me hard. Some of them really go after men who treat women and kids badly.

A lot of truth to this. I had a dad who just never really gave a damn about me or my siblings and still doesn't. I think he's a true narcissist -- I don't think he has the capacity to care about anyone but himself. He stayed married to my mom because she does everything for him including taking care of his kids. She's grown a bit of a spine in the last decade and while she stays with him for financial reasons (she has never had a full time job) she takes a bit more space for herself.

I don't assume every man is like my dad but I am probably suspicious of men automatically because within the community I grew up in I don't think people really recognized what a crap dad my dad was. He was a prominent business man and successful and I think people assumed he was a good father because of this. Ironically one of the ways in which my dad neglected us was by gambling away a lot of his money or just spending it on frivolous things for himself while making his kids go without. Like he'd blow two grand on tickets to a football game and then forget to go but if you asked him for new sneakers because your old ones were worn out he'd get mad. But people had no idea. Even now if I visit my home town people will gush over my dad and say how lucky I am. I guess people never really saw how he rarely spoke to us or about us. The assumed we were loved and cared for because people assume a well off family with a good provider and a sahm must be a good home.

Anyway so now I am skeptical about men. But my DH definitely loves his kids. Some part of me will likely always worry that he could stop though. That's childhood abuse and neglect though -- you never fully unlearn the lessons of your childhood. I judge my DH by what he does which is great. But some part of me would not be surprised if he walked out on his kids or just stopped loving them because they were too hard or pushed back too much. I learned from my dad that parents do not always love or care for their kids. It's not a given.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a different kind of love.

I rarely see men who truly try to improve as a parent and not make the mistakes their parents did. It’s more that they try their best, and if their kid gets messed up, they don’t worry about it.

Sort of like romantic relationships. Women are generally the ones who read relationship books and take responsibility for monitoring how the relationship is going. Men rarely do that.

Also far less guilt and shame.

You are dumb and narrow minded

I think it's a generalization, but it's true for many men.

-dp

And many women. So what’s your point?

My point is that more men do this than women. Why do you think the term "deadbeat dad" exists, and not "deadbeat mom" ? Because dads leaving their kids is a lot more common than moms doing so.

Women are generally more connected to their children than men.

Generalize much?

But the PP is right. Men, when they divorce, often walk away from their kids. They threaten their exes with non-payment of support, they TELL THEIR KIDS they won't support them if their mom does XYZ. They put conditions on their love for their children.

Not all men. And occasionally women walk away, but those women are OUTLIERS. They are often mentally ill, or maybe have a drug or alcohol problem. But everybody -EVERYBODY- can probably think of at least ONE man who has been a sup-par father after leaving the mom. One of my cousins -- has littered the state with little kids he doesn't see or support. My sibling's ex put conditions on seeing his child based on what my sister did. Two neighbors divorced - I haven't seen the dads again. The bad behaviour is everywhere.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a different kind of love.

I rarely see men who truly try to improve as a parent and not make the mistakes their parents did. It’s more that they try their best, and if their kid gets messed up, they don’t worry about it.

Sort of like romantic relationships. Women are generally the ones who read relationship books and take responsibility for monitoring how the relationship is going. Men rarely do that.

Also far less guilt and shame.

You are dumb and narrow minded

I think it's a generalization, but it's true for many men.

-dp

And many women. So what’s your point?

My point is that more men do this than women. Why do you think the term "deadbeat dad" exists, and not "deadbeat mom" ? Because dads leaving their kids is a lot more common than moms doing so.

Women are generally more connected to their children than men.

Generalize much?

But the PP is right. Men, when they divorce, often walk away from their kids. They threaten their exes with non-payment of support, they TELL THEIR KIDS they won't support them if their mom does XYZ. They put conditions on their love for their children.

Not all men. And occasionally women walk away, but those women are OUTLIERS. They are often mentally ill, or maybe have a drug or alcohol problem. But everybody -EVERYBODY- can probably think of at least ONE man who has been a sup-par father after leaving the mom. One of my cousins -- has littered the state with little kids he doesn't see or support. My sibling's ex put conditions on seeing his child based on what my sister did. Two neighbors divorced - I haven't seen the dads again. The bad behaviour is everywhere.

Oh man I guess I should tap myself on the back because I am now more involved with my kids that I have been before my divorce. For this reason I am glad I am divorced because when I was married I didn't want to be around my kids as much as I do now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a different kind of love.

I rarely see men who truly try to improve as a parent and not make the mistakes their parents did. It’s more that they try their best, and if their kid gets messed up, they don’t worry about it.

Sort of like romantic relationships. Women are generally the ones who read relationship books and take responsibility for monitoring how the relationship is going. Men rarely do that.

Also far less guilt and shame.

You are dumb and narrow minded

I think it's a generalization, but it's true for many men.

-dp

And many women. So what’s your point?

My point is that more men do this than women. Why do you think the term "deadbeat dad" exists, and not "deadbeat mom" ? Because dads leaving their kids is a lot more common than moms doing so.

Women are generally more connected to their children than men.

Generalize much?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a different kind of love.

I rarely see men who truly try to improve as a parent and not make the mistakes their parents did. It’s more that they try their best, and if their kid gets messed up, they don’t worry about it.

Sort of like romantic relationships. Women are generally the ones who read relationship books and take responsibility for monitoring how the relationship is going. Men rarely do that.

Also far less guilt and shame.

You are dumb and narrow minded

I think it's a generalization, but it's true for many men.

-dp

And many women. So what’s your point?

My point is that more men do this than women. Why do you think the term "deadbeat dad" exists, and not "deadbeat mom" ? Because dads leaving their kids is a lot more common than moms doing so.

Women are generally more connected to their children than men.

Generalize much?

But the PP is right. Men, when they divorce, often walk away from their kids. They threaten their exes with non-payment of support, they TELL THEIR KIDS they won't support them if their mom does XYZ. They put conditions on their love for their children.

Not all men. And occasionally women walk away, but those women are OUTLIERS. They are often mentally ill, or maybe have a drug or alcohol problem. But everybody -EVERYBODY- can probably think of at least ONE man who has been a sup-par father after leaving the mom. One of my cousins -- has littered the state with little kids he doesn't see or support. My sibling's ex put conditions on seeing his child based on what my sister did. Two neighbors divorced - I haven't seen the dads again. The bad behaviour is everywhere.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a different kind of love.

I rarely see men who truly try to improve as a parent and not make the mistakes their parents did. It’s more that they try their best, and if their kid gets messed up, they don’t worry about it.

Sort of like romantic relationships. Women are generally the ones who read relationship books and take responsibility for monitoring how the relationship is going. Men rarely do that.

Also far less guilt and shame.

You are dumb and narrow minded

I think it's a generalization, but it's true for many men.

-dp

And many women. So what’s your point?

My point is that more men do this than women. Why do you think the term "deadbeat dad" exists, and not "deadbeat mom" ? Because dads leaving their kids is a lot more common than moms doing so.

Women are generally more connected to their children than men.

Generalize much?

Anonymous wrote:This tweet reminded me of this thread:

https://x.com/jamilahlemieux/status/1828905553407684661?s=46&t=U-oSRAen5m2tvI5Vn4iVaw

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a different kind of love.

I rarely see men who truly try to improve as a parent and not make the mistakes their parents did. It’s more that they try their best, and if their kid gets messed up, they don’t worry about it.

Sort of like romantic relationships. Women are generally the ones who read relationship books and take responsibility for monitoring how the relationship is going. Men rarely do that.

Also far less guilt and shame.

You are dumb and narrow minded

I think it's a generalization, but it's true for many men.

-dp

And many women. So what’s your point?

My point is that more men do this than women. Why do you think the term "deadbeat dad" exists, and not "deadbeat mom" ? Because dads leaving their kids is a lot more common than moms doing so.

Women are generally more connected to their children than men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s a different kind of love.

I rarely see men who truly try to improve as a parent and not make the mistakes their parents did. It’s more that they try their best, and if their kid gets messed up, they don’t worry about it.

Sort of like romantic relationships. Women are generally the ones who read relationship books and take responsibility for monitoring how the relationship is going. Men rarely do that.

Also far less guilt and shame.

You are dumb and narrow minded

I think it's a generalization, but it's true for many men.

-dp

And many women. So what’s your point?