I don't get why some people find it so triggering?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It went going up over the years after industrialization, now going down again.

Not going down in general but for privileged with college degree, bright future, ability to date similar peers, supportive parents, intact families etc.

Overall percentages won't look significantly different, at least not unless it kept going down for a decade.

You are literally pulling this out of your ass.

Post a link to an article or copy and paste portions to even remotely support what you are saying.

"It went going up over the years after industrialization, now going down again."

This is recent history. There is no shortage of information to proof it. Try google.

"Not going down in general but for privileged with college degree, bright future, ability to date similar peers, supportive parents, intact families etc."

This is anecdotal but several posters in this thread shared their observations.


"Overall percentages won't look significantly different, at least not unless it kept going down for a decade."

This is prediction. We'll have to wait a decade to get relevant statistics.

Everything you write is nonsense. Again, right out of your ass. Admitting you relied on anecdotes is embarrassing.

The fact is that marriage is increasingly an UMC luxury especially with college graduates.

Just this year marriage rates of men and women less than 25 are at nearly the lowest on record.

Hence, if wealthier and better educated people are getting married and the median marriage age is increasing…well, it again ends the conversation on this thread.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It went going up over the years after industrialization, now going down again.

Not going down in general but for privileged with college degree, bright future, ability to date similar peers, supportive parents, intact families etc.

Overall percentages won't look significantly different, at least not unless it kept going down for a decade.

You are literally pulling this out of your ass.

Post a link to an article or copy and paste portions to even remotely support what you are saying.

"It went going up over the years after industrialization, now going down again."

This is recent history. There is no shortage of information to proof it. Try google.

"Not going down in general but for privileged with college degree, bright future, ability to date similar peers, supportive parents, intact families etc."

This is anecdotal but several posters in this thread shared their observations.


"Overall percentages won't look significantly different, at least not unless it kept going down for a decade."

This is prediction. We'll have to wait a decade to get relevant statistics.

Anonymous wrote:I wish I had married one of my college boyfriends! I dated a lot, and met many nice smart guys in college and grad school. I’m telling my girls if they meet a good one, go for it. A longer engagement might make sense, but I’m a feminist and working mom and I believe it makes sense to have kids earlier. My mom had me at 38, and I had my kids at 32 and 35. I’ve already lost my mom and dad and miss them dearly.

I tell my daughter the same. I don't think there is any reason to wait.

Anonymous wrote:It went going up over the years after industrialization, now going down again.

Not going down in general but for privileged with college degree, bright future, ability to date similar peers, supportive parents, intact families etc.

Overall percentages won't look significantly different, at least not unless it kept going down for a decade.

You are literally pulling this out of your ass.

Post a link to an article or copy and paste portions to even remotely support what you are saying.

It went going up over the years after industrialization, now going down again.

Not going down in general but for privileged with college degree, bright future, ability to date similar peers, supportive parents, intact families etc.

Overall percentages won't look significantly different, at least not unless it kept going down for a decade.

Not sure why everyone is prattling on when there are actual facts that exist:

What percentage of 25 year olds are married?
There's no reason to suppose young-adult marriage rates ever could have, or even should have, remained at Baby Boom-era levels. Nonetheless, it is striking that just 20% of 25-year-old women and 23% of 25-year-old men have ever married today. These are close to the lowest levels ever observed for marriage rates.Feb 26, 2024

In 2023, the median age for men to first get married in the United States was 30.2 years, and for women it was 28.4 years. This is a steady increase from the 1950s, when the median age was 22.5 for men and 20.1 for women.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not really, no.

Americans Are Getting Married Older Than Ever

https://www.statista.com/chart/7031/americans-are-tying-the-knot-older-than-ever/

I guess the others in this thread don’t like facts.

This basically ends the conversation.

These are collective results, posters sharing their observation are mostly talking about young couples from affluent backgrounds, supportive families and promising careers.

Average young person is facing student loans, credit card debt, unemployment, underemployment, inability to afford housing, unclear future, dating dilemmas, etc. Our circumstances decide our choices.

Affluent GenZs are even less likely to get married young. Sorry, but these anecdotes are nothing more than anecdotes.

hmm im an xennial and i dont think this is true.. affluent gen z in 'professions' are not as commitment/marriage phobic as we were from what i can see of younger siblings and their friends. especially the young men- they are much more open to the idea of getting married in grad school b/c dating when you are a young associate or a resident is brutal. there is actualy a slight disconnect with young men realizing marriege is a support but teh young women are seeing them doing the supporting and are like not yet.... also their parents are willing to subsidize them in a way that was super awkward for us older kids- we were a bit surprised that we couldnt afford life on our own and these kids take it for granted that mom/dad will pay for down payments, vacations etc. that they will always be somewhat funded by the parents. I had a very hard time accepting that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m very confused about why being married makes it impossible to go to graduate school or have a good job? I found it much easier to achieve things in life with a spouse as support.

It’s not impossible, but usually you are going to a new geography for grad school so you need your SO to be OK with that, even if there aren’t great career options.

I personally was moved to 4 different locations for a career before 30…married at 28 in the 4th location, but would have been much harder to just accept a promotion and move with a spouse if married at 22.

It all depends. Got married after undergrad. Went to grad school, away from spouse (7 hour drive, we met almost every weekend in the midpoint for 36 hours). We worked for same company/same discipline. 3 years after I started work (1 year after I returned from my masters), spouse got job at a new company (and halfway across country). Before spouse took the offer told company I needed a job as well. 2 days later I was "interviewing" and basically it was 3 positions, and I was picking which department I wanted to work for (company really wanted my spouse to come).
So we both got raises/promotions out of it.
Sure it's not always that easy, but plenty of couples do it even in their 20s.

Sounds like that was one move…not 4.

Are you saying you would expect your spouse to get you a new job with each move?

As a couple, we make joint decisions about life, that includes jobs. For us it was only one move,. The next move waited until I had birthed our first child, as I was becoming a SAHP and didn't want to switch jobs right before we would have a kid. So we decided to wait and spouse worked remotely for a company (before that was a big thing) and travelled as needed. So yes, once you are married, you make choices that work for everyone. If both don't agree, you don't move. It's part of being married---you think about what matters to your family, not just yourself. Otherwise, if you aren't up to that and compromise, you shouldn't be getting married

You are proving PP's point. PP moved 4 times for different job opportunities so was not in a position to be married young and therefore didn't marry young.

So, not sure why you commented on the prior post that in fact you can get married and job hop...just to correct yourself and agree that if you are in a career where you may be moved around the country (or maybe internationally) for advancement, then maybe it's the not the best idea to get married young.

It’s a gamble, I got engaged at 23 to my college sweetheart while in law school. I don’t believe people need to have “all their ducks in a row” before marriage. I think that’s a stupid idea. My husband and I lived together as poor in debt law students and now we enjoy the fruits of our hard work together. If you are with someone who motivates you to do better and be better, that and love is all that matters.

I wish I had married one of my college boyfriends! I dated a lot, and met many nice smart guys in college and grad school. I’m telling my girls if they meet a good one, go for it. A longer engagement might make sense, but I’m a feminist and working mom and I believe it makes sense to have kids earlier. My mom had me at 38, and I had my kids at 32 and 35. I’ve already lost my mom and dad and miss them dearly.

Maybe they are just reacting to seeing all the single bitter 30+ year old millennial women on tik tok crying about where all the good men have gone after they spent their 20s getting used and left by the bad boys “exploring” like their boomer parents encouraged? Good for gen z!

Anonymous wrote:I just saw someone's college freshman get engaged before moving into the dorm! I would likely discourage that, but after college, it's really up to the now-adult to make their own choices. I would probably steer them toward sound financial advice as opposed to trying to tell them how to live.

Frankly I hope my kids get happily married in their 20s. I will support them in any case, but finding someone young, not "needing" to party forever, and being youthful for major life steps (should you choose to take them) is not a bad thing!

That might be sound financial advice. Married students don’t need mommy and daddy’s assets on their FAFSA

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All the best spouses M and F get snatched up in their 20s.

They will be back on the market in 10 years if they get married out of college. LOL

Jokes on you -

I got married a few years out of college - within the last 15 years - and it was the best decision financially for us. It set us up to be solid for children and have a realistic expectation of career goals and family goals.

Spoiler alert: both parents cannot work high demanding 12 hr/day jobs and be available the children.

Much easier now with more online learning and remote work options.

I would say 22 would be a bit early for marriage, 24+ is probably more common and convenient.