Anonymous wrote:If you attend an Ivy school, you need to think strategically and make "connections" that you can use after graduation and later in life. The joke is on you if you can't.

False. None of my wealth has anything to do with personal "connections" from my ivy friends or peers: all of it has to do with my school's name being a leg up in the Top-professional-school admissions and me being a great test taker, as were most of my peers. A huge percent of us got into top professional schools and hence had access to top careers within the field. Quickly looking at a list of the top 10 donors who gave the most at our25th reunion, only 3 have generational wealth. The rest were a mix of very low to upper middle class students who went to top law or med school and some who started businesses(catering, bakery, decently famous nonprofit), commonly after few years doing high paying wall street jobs. 5 of the 10 had financial aid back then, when only 30% of the students received it at the time.

Anonymous wrote:It’s not surprising that people who think you need to “make connections” with affluent peers are being shut out of some social circles.

If you are there to have fun, make friends, and be yourself, you’ll end up with a like-minded friend group from a variety of backgrounds.

Mine are at different ivies and have widely varied sets of friends, all races and backgrounds. This is the most accurate post on here.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The hack to getting into rich friend groups is being a graduate of Groton or Exeter. Otherwise, you'll just need to be like the rest of us (how awful, I know)

Agree.
Yes, there’s definite tiering to college friend groups.

Your first tier is top boarding schools.
Tier down is certain other private/prep schools (along with the kids of CEO /hedge fund/PE/banker parents bc kids want jobs)
Further down is public high school but full pay
Below that is financial aid kids of any amount.
Bottom is FGLI/questbridge etc.

Read about real experiences on Reddit if you doubt it.

One of the most popular icebreakers for new student orientation/dorms is “where do you summer” or where did you vacation post-graduation. Followed by country club geography.

My DC is at an expensive private on west coast. The first three groups interact with each other. And even though statistically 30 percent of the population is the bottom two groups, they don’t hang out with anyone from those groups. Some of it may be economically related, idk, ie can they pay their way on the weekend ski trip, pay for Coachella etc.

That’s the biggest factor. With wealth socializing moves off campus. It’s another form of suitcase school. doesn’t have to be overt exclusion.

It's not just ivies. At least for ivies, kids mix in dorms. At large flagships, there are private luxury off campus apartments that segregate housing by income from the get go

+1

I am the parent of a wealthy, but not super wealthy, student at Duke, and I do not tell my adult kid how to live his life. However, most of his friends are also from wealthy families, except two that are outside that circle, and those two are athletes.

Student at an Ivy-adjacent school here. I'm not friends with the "rich white kid" crowd myself, but that doesn't mean their presence hasn't been helpful; in particular, the alumni I've cold emailed for coffee chats don't seem to care that I'm not blue-blooded (or white), judging by my ~60% response rate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The hack to getting into rich friend groups is being a graduate of Groton or Exeter. Otherwise, you'll just need to be like the rest of us (how awful, I know)

Agree.
Yes, there’s definite tiering to college friend groups.

Your first tier is top boarding schools.
Tier down is certain other private/prep schools (along with the kids of CEO /hedge fund/PE/banker parents bc kids want jobs)
Further down is public high school but full pay
Below that is financial aid kids of any amount.
Bottom is FGLI/questbridge etc.

Read about real experiences on Reddit if you doubt it.

One of the most popular icebreakers for new student orientation/dorms is “where do you summer” or where did you vacation post-graduation. Followed by country club geography.

My DC is at an expensive private on west coast. The first three groups interact with each other. And even though statistically 30 percent of the population is the bottom two groups, they don’t hang out with anyone from those groups. Some of it may be economically related, idk, ie can they pay their way on the weekend ski trip, pay for Coachella etc.

That’s the biggest factor. With wealth socializing moves off campus. It’s another form of suitcase school. doesn’t have to be overt exclusion.

It's not just ivies. At least for ivies, kids mix in dorms. At large flagships, there are private luxury off campus apartments that segregate housing by income from the get go

Yep. At my kid’s Ivy you have to live on campus for 3 years. Even the poshest and richest have the same non-AC, shared bathroom day-to-day experience.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you attend an Ivy school, you need to think strategically and make "connections" that you can use after graduation and later in life. The joke is on you if you can't.

Here’s the deal. If you went to an Ivy and can’t take advantage of the opportunities that provides without going out of your way to cultivate “connections,” you probably didn’t belong at the Ivy in the first place. The degree itself opens doors, so you shouldn’t have to have brown-nosed some rich kid there.

Yeah…this is the attitude that results in the posts complaining about how my kid went to an Ivy and it didn’t result in anything special.

It’s everything the school brings…peer connections, alum connections, professor connections…that you have to take advantage.

The degree is just a modest bump in the scheme of things.

I guess you're missing that these posts are generally from people who've never set foot near an Ivy (nor have their kids), along with a few Ivy failures who blame their misfortunes on a failure to have made sufficient "connections."

Anonymous wrote:It’s not surprising that people who think you need to “make connections” with affluent peers are being shut out of some social circles.

If you are there to have fun, make friends, and be yourself, you’ll end up with a like-minded friend group from a variety of backgrounds.

Bingo.

Add work hard to that mix, and you'll have both a like-minded friend group and the skills to take advantage of a degree from a school that also opens doors. Win/win.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you attend an Ivy school, you need to think strategically and make "connections" that you can use after graduation and later in life. The joke is on you if you can't.

Here’s the deal. If you went to an Ivy and can’t take advantage of the opportunities that provides without going out of your way to cultivate “connections,” you probably didn’t belong at the Ivy in the first place. The degree itself opens doors, so you shouldn’t have to have brown-nosed some rich kid there.

LOL..... The world doesn't owe you anything with a degree from an Ivy. Have you ever heard of "it is not what you know but who you know (or who knows you)"?

The world doesn't owe you anything, yet the degree itself opens doors that degrees from other schools generally do not.

But, sure, keep pushing this narrative that you have to be obsequious and suck up to wealthy kids at an Ivy to get anywhere. It shows your ignorance, or perhaps reveals some personal failures on your part.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The hack to getting into rich friend groups is being a graduate of Groton or Exeter. Otherwise, you'll just need to be like the rest of us (how awful, I know)

Agree.
Yes, there’s definite tiering to college friend groups.

Your first tier is top boarding schools.
Tier down is certain other private/prep schools (along with the kids of CEO /hedge fund/PE/banker parents bc kids want jobs)
Further down is public high school but full pay
Below that is financial aid kids of any amount.
Bottom is FGLI/questbridge etc.

Read about real experiences on Reddit if you doubt it.

One of the most popular icebreakers for new student orientation/dorms is “where do you summer” or where did you vacation post-graduation. Followed by country club geography.

My DC is at an expensive private on west coast. The first three groups interact with each other. And even though statistically 30 percent of the population is the bottom two groups, they don’t hang out with anyone from those groups. Some of it may be economically related, idk, ie can they pay their way on the weekend ski trip, pay for Coachella etc.

That’s the biggest factor. With wealth socializing moves off campus. It’s another form of suitcase school. doesn’t have to be overt exclusion.

It's not just ivies. At least for ivies, kids mix in dorms. At large flagships, there are private luxury off campus apartments that segregate housing by income from the get go

This is true, and of course was also the original purpose of Greek life. But even with dorms wealthy kids have access to off campus apartments and vacation homes. Stanford has had this reputation for decades.

It’s not surprising that people who think you need to “make connections” with affluent peers are being shut out of some social circles.

If you are there to have fun, make friends, and be yourself, you’ll end up with a like-minded friend group from a variety of backgrounds.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you attend an Ivy school, you need to think strategically and make "connections" that you can use after graduation and later in life. The joke is on you if you can't.

Here’s the deal. If you went to an Ivy and can’t take advantage of the opportunities that provides without going out of your way to cultivate “connections,” you probably didn’t belong at the Ivy in the first place. The degree itself opens doors, so you shouldn’t have to have brown-nosed some rich kid there.

Yeah…this is the attitude that results in the posts complaining about how my kid went to an Ivy and it didn’t result in anything special.

It’s everything the school brings…peer connections, alum connections, professor connections…that you have to take advantage.

The degree is just a modest bump in the scheme of things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you attend an Ivy school, you need to think strategically and make "connections" that you can use after graduation and later in life. The joke is on you if you can't.

Here’s the deal. If you went to an Ivy and can’t take advantage of the opportunities that provides without going out of your way to cultivate “connections,” you probably didn’t belong at the Ivy in the first place. The degree itself opens doors, so you shouldn’t have to have brown-nosed some rich kid there.

LOL..... The world doesn't owe you anything with a degree from an Ivy. Have you ever heard of "it is not what you know but who you know (or who knows you)"?

Anonymous wrote:If you attend an Ivy school, you need to think strategically and make "connections" that you can use after graduation and later in life. The joke is on you if you can't.

Here’s the deal. If you went to an Ivy and can’t take advantage of the opportunities that provides without going out of your way to cultivate “connections,” you probably didn’t belong at the Ivy in the first place. The degree itself opens doors, so you shouldn’t have to have brown-nosed some rich kid there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The hack to getting into rich friend groups is being a graduate of Groton or Exeter. Otherwise, you'll just need to be like the rest of us (how awful, I know)

Agree.
Yes, there’s definite tiering to college friend groups.

Your first tier is top boarding schools.
Tier down is certain other private/prep schools (along with the kids of CEO /hedge fund/PE/banker parents bc kids want jobs)
Further down is public high school but full pay
Below that is financial aid kids of any amount.
Bottom is FGLI/questbridge etc.

Read about real experiences on Reddit if you doubt it.

One of the most popular icebreakers for new student orientation/dorms is “where do you summer” or where did you vacation post-graduation. Followed by country club geography.

My DC is at an expensive private on west coast. The first three groups interact with each other. And even though statistically 30 percent of the population is the bottom two groups, they don’t hang out with anyone from those groups. Some of it may be economically related, idk, ie can they pay their way on the weekend ski trip, pay for Coachella etc.

That’s the biggest factor. With wealth socializing moves off campus. It’s another form of suitcase school. doesn’t have to be overt exclusion.

It's not just ivies. At least for ivies, kids mix in dorms. At large flagships, there are private luxury off campus apartments that segregate housing by income from the get go