Anonymous
Post 07/13/2024 16:47     Subject: Re:Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer
Anonymous wrote:If these couples invited you to a very nice dinner, would you bring your kids? Nope. So why is a wedding any different? Get a damn sitter or don’t go.


It's really not that simple when every single wedding is out of town.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2024 16:47     Subject: Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The kids take over the dance floor, spill things, cry, etc. Just not cute. IMO weddings are for adults.


lol what?!

Weddings are for FAMILIES

2 families becoming 1


No it's not. Most people see modern weddings as two people leaving their family of origin to start a new 3rd family. Most people don't hang out with their parents, siblings, and all the in-laws as one big happy new family.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2024 16:39     Subject: Re:Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer
Anonymous wrote:If these couples invited you to a very nice dinner, would you bring your kids? Nope. So why is a wedding any different? Get a damn sitter or don’t go.


If it was a family dinner, I would assume kids were invited.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2024 16:37     Subject: Re:Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer
If these couples invited you to a very nice dinner, would you bring your kids? Nope. So why is a wedding any different? Get a damn sitter or don’t go.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2024 16:34     Subject: Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer
I have never been to a child-free wedding (we declined the only one we've been invited to), and I have also never been to a wedding that was ruined by a child. I guess I am lucky!
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2024 16:29     Subject: Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most of the weddings I go to a child-free and it is much preferable.


This!


Agree. Children ruin the fun of a wedding. I don't want to bring mine and I don't want to see any others.


For you they do. For me they made my wedding wonderful. To each her own.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2024 16:16     Subject: Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Def a bridezilla thing. Even when it’s your day, still not the center of the world. Kids are a part of the community. Folks have really gotten too precious about their expectations.


I blame social media. Brides these days don’t want to celebrate a wedding, they want to star in a social media event. I genuinely don’t think many of them care much about the meaning of the event.


+1. I would have been to happy to elope and probably should have! Our wedding was low key by today's standards and there is NO WAY I'd want to plan a wedding today. And I have two daughters...
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2024 16:13     Subject: Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer
Anonymous wrote:The kids take over the dance floor, spill things, cry, etc. Just not cute. IMO weddings are for adults.


lol what?!

Weddings are for FAMILIES

2 families becoming 1
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2024 15:45     Subject: Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most of the weddings I go to a child-free and it is much preferable.


This!


Agree. Children ruin the fun of a wedding. I don't want to bring mine and I don't want to see any others.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2024 15:45     Subject: Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My kids are almost all grown now and I haven’t been to a wedding in some time but I would simply say no. If it’s a really important occasion for you (a close family member or best friend) and you can’t leave your child due to distance or nursing, I would ask the bride if the venue has an extra room where a babysitter can stay with your child throughout but you are able to check in. We had this arrangement at a family members wedding and it worked out well. If it ends up not being an option, the couple will at least know you tried to make it work and then you don’t need to feel at all guilty for not going. But for a standard wedding, no is absolutely fine.

We were invited to our nephews wedding last year but my 15 yo was not. If it had been local I would have had no issue but I wasn’t leaving my 15 yo home alone DH went without me. I didn’t feel at all guilty. My sense is couples know some people won’t make it when they elect to have a kid free wedding.


Wouldn't your nephew be your 15-year-old's cousin? That's bizarre not to invite. I can see not inviting little kids. They just sort of drain a lot energy from the room. But why did your nephew not invite his teenage cousin? On a separate note, my niece is getting married next fall (she set the date nearly two years out) and while my kids--her cousins--are invited--will likely not attend. One is a D1 college athlete in the middle of their season and the other will be in the fall of their senior year in college. We are a tight family, my niece's mom--my sister--died a few years ago, so these times for us to be together are important. I just kind of wish, if she had two years to wait, why not just do it over the summer? I know my other sibling's children will also have issues with traveling so far while in school. Boy, weddings are just fraught.


I agree it was weird not to invite a first cousin but they are very distant - 15 years apart in age and have lived on opposite coasts. Then again, the same is true for DH and myself but we made the list so that can’t have been the only reason. I guess they just wanted to keep it small.

I understand how hard it must be for your kids to attend weddings during the school year. I have 2 in college myself. I think people just don’t think about that when planning.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2024 15:44     Subject: Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer
Agree with the posters saying if kids were better behaved there would be fewer child-free weddings. We grew up going to all the family and friend weddings, roamed in a big kid group, danced to the music, had a lot of fun but we weren't misbehaving, screaming, rough-housing, listening to iPads at top volume, sticking fingers in the food, all that nonsense. We also weren't allowed to disrupt the actual ceremony. Times have changed.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2024 15:34     Subject: Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer
Anonymous wrote:Def a bridezilla thing. Even when it’s your day, still not the center of the world. Kids are a part of the community. Folks have really gotten too precious about their expectations.


I blame social media. Brides these days don’t want to celebrate a wedding, they want to star in a social media event. I genuinely don’t think many of them care much about the meaning of the event.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2024 15:22     Subject: Re:Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Aren’t most weddings mostly childfree? The only weddings my children have been invited to are family ones. I can’t remember a wedding where everyone’s children were invited. I am almost 60.


Not for Catholics in the midwest they aren't.


Lol that's my family - midwest Catholic and protestant. Kids were never not invited.

Husband's family is NY some Catholic & protestant too. It's all of his younger cousins (20s-30s) that are having child free weddings.
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2024 15:20     Subject: Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer
Anonymous wrote:Tell them that flower girls services are 10,000 a piece. Or an invitation to it all.


Right.....
Because a rude response is justified for a rude invite.....

That's sarcasm - don't do this
Anonymous
Post 07/13/2024 15:16     Subject: Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer
Child free weddings are oxymorons. They want you to help them celebrate a new family, without making it a family event.

Just don't go. Clear their values are not family oriented anyway. They just want a party and gifts when they do this. You are not obligated to participate.