Anonymous wrote:A lot of women have this romanticized version of divorce and they are going 'to take him for everything he's worth' blah, blah. Today's divorce courts offer a rude awakening in terms of alimony and custody. The majority of women will have to go out and find a job if they don't have one. And, for women that had no career prior or who have been on the bench for awhile--it's tough.

Divorce is very sad and traumatic. I think you have the Mickey Mouse version in your head.

Women do better post-divorce because they have a better variety of sex toys.

When I was 45 I dated someone who was 28. She was a nice person, very sexy and attractive and super smart. I liked her a lot. Life differences get in the way. I had a mortgage, a kid, divorce and things like that. Life gets stressful. She had no worries, just her work. Her days included going to work and the gym and friends. Mine was work, kid, doing stuff around the house, gym, kids sports matches..etc. If you're divorced you know. Things got complicated with my kid and I think it was a little too much for her to deal with. I get that, so we parted ways. We talked for a while afterwards but haven't in months so probably for the best. No hard feelings though, I hope she finds someone good for her she's quite a catch.

I'm dating someone five-six years younger than me now (my ex was two years older) and it's more on the same level. She's smart, sexy and funny too. So more my speed.


Dating younger is fun (youngest women I dated was 24 when I was 42) and they look great, but then again you're dealing with people who do expect you to pay for everything, they haven't really discovered themselves sexually and different stages of your life. The awesome part is you can show them stuff in bed they haven't seen before. So hearing them say "I didn't know my body could do that" is super hot. The downside is you can show them stuff they haven't seen before. At this point I want someone who is like...let me do this to you I know I like it. That's hotter to me. Still sometime even when they're older you still get the aforementioned comment sometimes, and I'm like...who the hell have you been married to? did you NOT have fun in bed?

Also it's nice to have someone to relate to in terms of your daily life struggles. Younger women don't really know that.

My ex-wife has dated a couple of guys but I can tell you they're step down from me physically. At least what I have seen of them. So her loss in that area. But she chose the path to divorce so meh...that's her problem not mine.

I'm happy now with someone I really like so there's that. I hope it keeps working out because there's is something different about this one and i like it.

What do you mean when you say these men who marry 15 yrs younger create the problems they complain about. What are common complaints from men who marry much younger women?
I’ve heard they marry an image or idea and can then be disappointed.
I never understood having a set criteria for choosing a partner. Doesn’t that kill the idea of meeting someone spontaneously ?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand younger women are hotter, I completely agree. But I would not want to date somebody closer in age to my children than myself. I feel as if the age gap and cultural gap is just too large.

Additionally, but being proud of only dating women 15-20 years younger than you makes it obvious that you care nothing about women other than their looks. IME your ex is the lucky one. I wouldn't want to date a man who only cared about the status of dating younger women.

Hotter, less bitter, less mental issues, open their schedules for you if they like you, out in effort. There’s a plethora of reasons high value men like you get attractive women. Men are visually driven, so if the woman you’re with is hot that’s a good thing. But when she has a good personality and does t rant about her “narcissistic” ex that’s a big bonus .

The best woman I dated was 16 years younger than me. She was an amazing person intellectually and physically. She loved the gym, she had a great job and a good personality. Ahh she asked for in return was respect (which I gave in droves) and not hurt her. I did mess that relationship up though, not by being disrespectful or hurting her, I certainly didn’t, I was a little too needy. That was on me and it ended up being too much for her. I admit I wasn’t in the best place mentally but thought I was. We broke up amicably but it stung. But even with me not at my best I still pulled an utter bombshell of a woman and regret messing it up. All my friends were jealous and my female friends called me a “predator”. She was 28 she was capable of making her own decisions, but whatever stay mad.


But lessons learned.

After that I didn’t want to date women my age, because most are train wrecks

Could care less about the dating younger part — whatever makes people happy and who doesn’t like someone young and in their 20s, male or female. You do sound bitter though. Maybe you and the bitter, train wreck women your age have more in common than what you realize.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of women have this romanticized version of divorce and they are going 'to take him for everything he's worth' blah, blah. Today's divorce courts offer a rude awakening in terms of alimony and custody. The majority of women will have to go out and find a job if they don't have one. And, for women that had no career prior or who have been on the bench for awhile--it's tough.

No, women don’t have a romanticized version of it. Especially since most of them are weighing the bad marriage or spouse versus divorce, and go do divorce consults, and understand the process and likely outcome.

Perhaps not most. The ones I know started cheating looking for exit affairs subconsciously and didn’t factor into the reality of losing the family home and having to get a job when they were out banging others. Different than the ones that actively planned and calculated divorce.

Anonymous wrote:PP “I don’t care who is doing better or worse- I just care that I’ve been set free.”

This. 10000x

Why would you know how they are actually doing or vice versa? Narcs and jerks hide everything behind closed doors.

Leave them in the dust, their life is a lie.

Anonymous wrote:A lot of women have this romanticized version of divorce and they are going 'to take him for everything he's worth' blah, blah. Today's divorce courts offer a rude awakening in terms of alimony and custody. The majority of women will have to go out and find a job if they don't have one. And, for women that had no career prior or who have been on the bench for awhile--it's tough.

No, women don’t have a romanticized version of it. Especially since most of them are weighing the bad marriage or spouse versus divorce, and go do divorce consults, and understand the process and likely outcome.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think so.

I’m a guy and I’m doing better . Have my own place, dating hotter younger women and have equal custody with my kid .

My gf now is steps above my ex wife in terms of looks and personality. And about 15 years younger. My last gf was 18 years younger .


Issue is most women are running around and date bf the same few guys, then getting their backs blown out and ghosted then think all guys are bad. It’s their own bad decisions and no one wants to be in a serious relationship with an old bitter hag with kids. Go out on dates, EVERY woman I’ve been on date with who is divorced says their ex-husband is a narcissist. Then they go out and date narcissists apparently, because they all complain their ex-boyfriends are too.

At first I’m like, that’s not even statistically possible — but then realized women usually try to date the top 5% and they wonder why they’re pumped and dumped. It was so easy to get single moms in their 40s to have sex in one or two dates. That’s why I called it quits on dating them and stuck To younger women who want more of a relationship.

Dude, it’s possible because you are a narcissist and attracting women who date narcissists.

This seems incredibly obvious to anyone who isn’t trying to dance circles around it.

Ooo watch out brother….armchair psychologists here.

He’s right, you constantly hear women complain their exes are narcissists. So women inherently make bad decisions. They use the “he’s a narcissist” schtick to justify their crappy behaviors. Oh he was a narcissist so it’s ok I dumped him after I slept with a guy I met on tinder….most have an aversion to accountability, that’s why every failed relationship is the guys fault, you’ll never hear a woman admit she was at fault for anything.

With that being said, keep that in mind every time you go on a date and you hear them rant about their ex. If you find one who doesn’t she’s a woman you want to consider keeping around.

As for younger women, they’re often better looking and not bitter, have at it if you can.

I’m a psychiatrist, not a psychologist. I do hear some women say this, but very few. Certainly no one I know in my personal life talks like this.

If you find yourself consistently dating the very small portion of women who complain about all of the men they date being narcissists, then something about you is attractive to women who are attracted to narcissistic men.

I’m not saying that everyone who has ever dated a woman who complains about narcissistic exes is a narcissist himself. As you pointed out, these women have a poor sense of self and tend to date a lot of different men. But if you every woman you date has a past full of narcissistic exes that she has cheated on, then that is you. This is a seriously small percentage of women, and either you are seeking them out or they are seeking you out, and neither is good.

You’re full of garbage and it shows. Studies show women are attracted to narcissists.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/tech-support/201406/why-we-fall-narcissists?amp

It’s either genetics or bad decision making skills.

You’re a woman so no woman is going to complain to you about their narcissistic ex, they’re not dating you. Guys hear it all the time.

I’d figure that’s not statistically possible, are they dating the same guys? Turns out yeah…yeah they are.

https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/women-more-selective-80-men-unattractive-on-dating-apps-recent-research

https://m.economictimes.com/magazines/panache/the-math-behind-dating-apps-women-like-only-4-out-of-100-profiles-men-more-likely-to-swipe-right/amp_articleshow/75736043.cms

They’re all selecting 10% or at tops 20% of men so they’re dating the same guys . Those who don’t use dating apps are consistently complaining they can’t find guys. But I’ve seen guys dating multiple women at a time and they seem fine with it. Why? Because he has a ton of money. So they’re selectively putting themselves in their situation.

70% of men who have at least a bachelor’s degree are married/cohabitating or have been married at one point.
Clearly women are not only interested in 10 percent of the men out there.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless the woman had a ton of family money going into or during the marriage, or she divorced a wealthy guy, she is going to struggle a lot after divorce.

What, why? Half of women earn at least 40% of their HHI.

And the other 1/2 earn 0. It's the SAHMs that don't have family $ that usually sink below their former standard of living.

I just haven’t seen this play out in real life. I think this is a fantasy you have.

PP “I don’t care who is doing better or worse- I just care that I’ve been set free.”

This. 10000x

TLDR; I presume women do better because they have sexual wares to hock. Men could do just as well post divorce if p was as attractive as a nice tush and firm tatas…

A lot of women have this romanticized version of divorce and they are going 'to take him for everything he's worth' blah, blah. Today's divorce courts offer a rude awakening in terms of alimony and custody. The majority of women will have to go out and find a job if they don't have one. And, for women that had no career prior or who have been on the bench for awhile--it's tough.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't my experience, my mom struggled a lot financially when she divorced my dad and she's still single while dad is happily remarried and rich.

This is much more typical.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unless the woman had a ton of family money going into or during the marriage, or she divorced a wealthy guy, she is going to struggle a lot after divorce.

What, why? Half of women earn at least 40% of their HHI.

And the other 1/2 earn 0. It's the SAHMs that don't have family $ that usually sink below their former standard of living.