Anonymous
Post 06/06/2024 21:21     Subject: School wrongly accused my child
*He (not she) provided a lot of details of that questioning,…


Sorry about so many typos. I’m just quickly dictating and posting without checking which is a bad habit.

I think for me discussing things here is helpful to process things. Then some people share their stories or what they think and different kinds of opinions and advice help me to stay grounded a little bit.

I know I didn’t say anything positive about the school… I’ve been consumed in the negative emotions… They were nice things as well. but outweighed by negative.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2024 21:14     Subject: School wrongly accused my child
* Also, they didn’t ask me to keep anything confidential, which worries me because usually in such cases, they would state it.

I say ‘worries me’ because I noticed a lot of things done without proper due diligence which you would expect from a public school.

So, something else came up this evening…

My son opened up again… He said, that day before I was called to school in the evening together with him, He was pulled from his very favorite class and questioned. And at that time, he already pointed out that it was not him. It was the other person… But the school didn’t believe him and called me anyway…

I mean - I am typing this, and I cannot believe it myself… I am confident my son is not lying. She provided a lot of details of that questioning, and he told me he didn’t share about that with me because he was afraid that I will take away his latest nice privilege…
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2024 21:09     Subject: School wrongly accused my child
Sorry - I said friend’s computer. I don’t actually know if they are friends. I heard that name for the first time in that room. The correct description would be classmate.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2024 21:07     Subject: Re:School wrongly accused my child
Anonymous wrote:OP if you are so concerned about the other boy but school says no issue, what was site?


I guess my digital detox will start tomorrow.

So, i’m not quite sure I can write all the details here. I will just say it was a concern for safety.

I followed up with like 8 questions in email… The school answer was basically don’t worry, everything is fine. Very general. No details about what kind of procedure they followed.

My main concern was that my son saw that material at school at his friend’s computer many many times so the school missed all those times. So my question (to myself only) is what else did this school miss??? how come that kind of content wasn’t flagged earlier???


Also, they didn’t ask me to keep anything confidential, which worries me because usually in such cases, they would state it. OK, they
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2024 20:58     Subject: School wrongly accused my child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, it doesn't seem to me like anyone was trying to railroad your child into anything, just because you were asking for missed assignments. Missed assignments, and kids asking to redo them happens ALL the time, and no one is going to form some sort of vendetta on the basis of that.

What it seems like is that someone (tech office? teacher?) noticed inappropriate material on Kid A's computer, and either reported it erroneously as Kid B's computer, or reported it correctly, and the admins made a mistake. Especially if the content was violent, they will take action, and immediately (I would hope so), and your kid got caught in the middle.

I don't know your child, but mine would've raged and moved on. I don't think you're doing him any favors by making this out to be "they're all out to get you", when it could be a really simple misunderstanding that they already apologized for.


When the school called me they said, our counselor with whom you were emailing got ‘concerned’ and found blah blah blah in your child’s comp. He searched for xyz at midnight from YOUR home on school comp.


Honestly, if your responses here are at all indicative of your interactions with school staff, I could understand how someone would be concerned. There is some significant amount of paranoia here.

I also don't understand how it is the counselor found something on your child's computer, but then he also had to go get his computer and turn it in so they could check the computer. Did the counselor have your child's computer or not?
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2024 20:54     Subject: School wrongly accused my child
OP, I think you're busy pointing fingers everywhere except where it belongs. Your son. He told you everything was fine when it wasn't. As his parent, someone who knows that he has ADHD and will potentially have struggles, I don't understand why you didn't verify this, and instead just accepted his word for it. Do you not have access to SIS Parentvue? Information regarding his grades and assignments can be found there.

My neurotypical DD who is generally on top of things sometimes slips up, and I stay on top of her to make sure that when she makes mistakes, they get fixed right away. If you do it on an ongoing basis, your child is much less likely to slip up, and the teachers are much more likely to be cooperative.

I also have access to my daughter's Schoology account, which allows me to see her assignments, calendar, notes, ... pretty much everything the teacher puts up. This gives me some insight into what is happening in school. While I don't do anything with this information 99% of the time, I can prompt her from time to time.

Me: Hey, do you have any tests/quizzes/assignments due this week?

Her: I don't think so.

Me: Let's pull up Schoology and check. Hey, it says here that you have your poem due on Friday.

Her: I already turned that in.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2024 19:53     Subject: Re:School wrongly accused my child
OP if you are so concerned about the other boy but school says no issue, what was site?
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2024 19:24     Subject: School wrongly accused my child
Anonymous wrote:He got Fs from lack of organization and confusing technology and staffers doing half a** work, not compression.


I have a feeling that’s not completely true.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2024 19:04     Subject: School wrongly accused my child
I mean this too shall pass.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2024 19:03     Subject: School wrongly accused my child
I will check back here in a few days or so.
I have some clarity and will just act and come back to update how it all ended. I hope.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2024 19:00     Subject: School wrongly accused my child
18:32 my story is straight.
I acknowledged to the school that my son was laid on the assignment because of the lack of focus and apologized.
Please read the thread again to understand the story better. I’m sorry if I’m not a clear writer.

Do you think I need this big headache?
I blame specific people who didn’t come through for multiple emails. It is all documented in the emails from my son in my text messages and my emails all spaced out.

And I’m proud to be my child’s advocate because nobody else in this world will be advocating for him.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2024 18:51     Subject: School wrongly accused my child
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This is OP.
I am concerned about the other boy. I asked specific questions - like what is the policy and protocols you followed to establish safety—- but the school replied there is no threat. How can I get a more detailed report about what exactly they have done to come to this assessment? Thanks


They are allowed to provide you with this information.


*aren’t allowed
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2024 18:51     Subject: School wrongly accused my child
Anonymous wrote:This is OP.
I am concerned about the other boy. I asked specific questions - like what is the policy and protocols you followed to establish safety—- but the school replied there is no threat. How can I get a more detailed report about what exactly they have done to come to this assessment? Thanks


They are allowed to provide you with this information.
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2024 18:47     Subject: School wrongly accused my child
Anonymous wrote:It was all on the OTHER computer that belonged to the child with the same first name. the school was in rush to retaliate and didn’t check properly basics. The most appalling thing is that my child was aware that that child is always on a bad website during school hours. That’s the scary part…. And they only discover it because they want to dig up dirt on my son because I complained that I couldn’t get access to the missing assignments…


What? Do you really think they have the desire and time to do this?
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2024 18:40     Subject: School wrongly accused my child
Anonymous wrote:I really think that those who are telling me to leave it alone are somehow engaged in the school system. Please note this situation brought out the act activist me that never ever happened to me before. Maybe it is a maternal instincts and being fed up by things I’ve seen in the system since my child entered it in the first grade. Perhaps things that I’ve seen just filed up and finally I’m really really fed up and want to speak up.

I will take the time I need to at least try and get those people who are paid by our taxes to just do their jobs a little bit properly. my requests were simple and very specific.

‘Please provide the list of assignments that are missing and indicate where to find them online. if it is a paper assignment, my child probably lost it so we need an electronic version, I said. But I said it in the much much nicer way with a lot of apologies for missing the assignments earlier in the qtr where my child was not focused and didn’t let me help him, telling me that he’s got everything under control and he’s a big boy…

Not a single time 5:04 counselor reached out to us with any updates whatsoever or on any check ins that she has conducted. 0

When I reached out to her a couple of times only, She promised things, but did not follow through in full. Just some little things are done, but important things are left out.

Secondly, the county still needs to know formally the issues that Schoology Integrated with Google creates for kids with special needs. if you read some of the posts here about Schoology Integrated with Google, you see that for the kid in the middle school to succeed, an adult needs to sit down next to the kid trying to figure out the assignment planning situation on a daily basis for at least one hour or more. I do not think this is OK. especially this is not OK, as It creates extreme difficulties for special needs kids.

Once we finally found math assignment by chasing down the teacher, he took freaking two minutes to get it done…



So you are blaming the school because your son lied to you for the entire quarter until the very end. You have had access to Schoology for the entire year. YOU have your own access. I'm an FCPS parent and everything about how to log in to my parent account is sent in a zillion languages. I can see every missing assignment.

You are accusing school staff of failing to to their jobs even "a little bit properly". Seriously, insane parents like you are why I left teaching after 7 years (and this was 15 years ago). That counselor probably has 300-500 students on his caseload. The math teacher probably has 150.

And you're blaming THEM for the fact that you failed to supervise your child's progress until the last week of the quarter?!?! You're the one failing to do your job even a little bit properly....not so much because you didn't push your kid who claimed to be doing fine (even in your heart of hearts you knew he wasn't) but because now that you realize how much he missed, you want to make it everyone else's failure rather than his.