Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to work with the DoD. 8 am meetings were normal, and you were expected to show up before 8 am (or call in a few min early) for them to do roll call and start the meeting promptly at 8.

Now in non-profit sector and anything before 9 would be unusual, but conferences and breakfast meetings all start at 8 or 8:30.

Pay for childcare, mostly schools do drop-in care, you don’t need to pay for the whole month to just use a few days.

I really think those of you who dont have younger kids in the system right now or who have copious amounts of money to throw at the problem do not realize the issues with childcare, including before care and after care. There are not a lot of options, many of them are booked before the school year starts so K students get f^cked because you cant enroll in aftercare until you are on the school registrar and that doesnt happen until summer but the before/after care situation gets handled in spring. And many private businesses that provides these services dont allow for daily drop-in, they require weekly payment no matter how many days you use in the week.

Childcare post-COVID is a completely different landscape. I had a child in 2018 and had no issues finding spots. Cost was steep but do-able. I am pregnant with our 2nd due in 2024 and it is a madhouse. Childcare costs have increased minimum 600/mo for the same age. Spots, especially infant spots, are difficult to find. 2-5 seems to be the sweet spot for options and costs. Infant care and elementary-age care are difficult.

I am totally fine with an 8am meeting but dont then turn around and make regular 4/430pm meetings either. You cant burn at both ends and while this board skews higher-income many of your co-workers in other positions are not. If you have later meetings, dont have early ones and vice versa.

I have young kids, I use childcare (daycare and now before/aftercare as my youngest is finishing K). Infant spots in our neighborhood were always hard to find, and my oldest was born in the early 2010s. I had to get a nanny until a spot opened up when DC was 8 months. I signed up my other kids for spots when I was 3 months pregnant.

Childcare is much easier in elementary years. Our local public regularly gets filled for aftercare but not beforecare. It’s actually quite affordable compared to what daycare cost.

Most families I know don’t use care before school which I think is insane because schools starts at 9:05. Maybe with a bus (pickup in my neighborhood is 8:40) and working from home I can make 9-5 work, but my oldest was in school pre-pandemic and I was shocked by how empty morning care was. Who are all these parents who don’t start work until 10? I am assuming they are staggering hours with the other parent so they can work later.

And with the words....I got a nanny means you are in higher incomes. Nannies are requesting 25/hr right now in my area. 25*8*5*4= 4k per month. Not everyone in this area is making $$$ HHI. That can't be the threshold for having a job and having kids. And SAHP cause issues down the line with re-entry, decreased SS, etc. Childcare struggles are not new but there is plenty of documentation that post-COVID the childcare that was available essentially collapsed. Rural areas have no providers, urban areas dont have enough. Cost is an issue in both areas.

Your school stars at 905. Some schools start at 8, 830, 730. Our before care only opens 45 minutes before the doors open. So 830 start time means 730 open for before care. Thats not really helpful or you end up needing both unless you can get a job where you can leave at 2pm assuming you have a 30-40 min commute. Schools that start at 730 ends at 145. Our school runs 830 245 next year. You still need aftercare with those hours. Also, my kid doesnt qualify for the bus so we have to provide transportation.

I WAH and still struggle with these hours because of the timing involved with transport to/from school and the hours for school. 840-240 isnt a full workday. And 3pm is core hours for most places so even staggering doesnt work. I would much prefer 9-315 working at home. My close friend has bus pickup at 820 and drop off at 4. Her kid is in school 9-320 so she works 830-430 from home.

These are real issues for most working Americans.

Too bad you don’t have a husband to help

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is probably younger and expects the company or organization to bend around her needs. I mean honestly, the expectation that you are working but can't take meetings to get your kid to school is outrageous.

Get child care, attend the meetings, or find another job.

Also every working couple with kids one spouse always makes it clear their job is more important and other spouse and just needy and annoying to their boss and coworkers

I recall this women with one kid who worked for me once like this all the time I bent over backwards for her.

One day she goes you don’t know what it is to have a kid. I responded i have a 2, 7 and 9 year old at home. She never asked me if I had kids in her first 9 months at work

Why would she ask if you have kids? I never ask that, it’s completely inappropriate of any gender.

Clearly if you had THREE kids and she had no clue, they were not a big part of your daily life and never impacted your work schedule.

This seems unfair. I have a few coworkers who have very distinct boundaries between personal and professional. They never speak about their kids at work and it doesn’t impact their schedule. They make it work.

Sure, they likely have a SAHM spouse or grandparents or full time nanny. Get real.

Anonymous wrote:We have probably 6-8 8am meetings per month, which throws our life in chaos because it’s right in middle school drop off.

My spouse wants to spend $300 a month for morning SACC.

Is this typical of corporate workplaces. I’ve only had one job. Most of my colleagues have SAHM and get to work early anyways.

My neighbor is in sales and seems to always start around 10, maybe I should switch fields.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is probably younger and expects the company or organization to bend around her needs. I mean honestly, the expectation that you are working but can't take meetings to get your kid to school is outrageous.

Get child care, attend the meetings, or find another job.

Also every working couple with kids one spouse always makes it clear their job is more important and other spouse and just needy and annoying to their boss and coworkers

I recall this women with one kid who worked for me once like this all the time I bent over backwards for her.

One day she goes you don’t know what it is to have a kid. I responded i have a 2, 7 and 9 year old at home. She never asked me if I had kids in her first 9 months at work

Why would she ask if you have kids? I never ask that, it’s completely inappropriate of any gender.

Clearly if you had THREE kids and she had no clue, they were not a big part of your daily life and never impacted your work schedule.

This seems unfair. I have a few coworkers who have very distinct boundaries between personal and professional. They never speak about their kids at work and it doesn’t impact their schedule. They make it work.

Well the PP is a male complaining about his female colleague, and we know who is default parent 99% of the time, especially 15 years ago.

It’s called sharing. A women has to go to a once a week or once a month 8 am meeting the husband should step up.

I work with a wonderful women who leaves 445pm everyday to pick up kid daycare.

Next week we have the only after work meeting team building event of the year. She declined. It is too much to ask her husband to pick up kids even one day out of year.

I don’t get it.

Forget about her husband, she should hire a babysitter for a couple hours if needed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is probably younger and expects the company or organization to bend around her needs. I mean honestly, the expectation that you are working but can't take meetings to get your kid to school is outrageous.

Get child care, attend the meetings, or find another job.

Also every working couple with kids one spouse always makes it clear their job is more important and other spouse and just needy and annoying to their boss and coworkers

I recall this women with one kid who worked for me once like this all the time I bent over backwards for her.

One day she goes you don’t know what it is to have a kid. I responded i have a 2, 7 and 9 year old at home. She never asked me if I had kids in her first 9 months at work

Why would she ask if you have kids? I never ask that, it’s completely inappropriate of any gender.

Clearly if you had THREE kids and she had no clue, they were not a big part of your daily life and never impacted your work schedule.

This seems unfair. I have a few coworkers who have very distinct boundaries between personal and professional. They never speak about their kids at work and it doesn’t impact their schedule. They make it work.

Well the PP is a male complaining about his female colleague, and we know who is default parent 99% of the time, especially 15 years ago.

I thought the poster's point (I don't see where the poster said they were male) was that the poster had been the one taking it on the chin while the woman begged off for family and the woman never considered the possibility that other people have personal obligations too. This is always the problem with the folks who jealously protect their work life balance. There is usually someone on the other side of that equation who has to wait by the proverbial printer while someone else trots off. I work with someone who persists in asking us to change the time of a standing meeting every time something about her own schedule changes. I roll my eyes and make the adjustments I need to make on my end so that her life can be just so. She has two kids, and I have three.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is probably younger and expects the company or organization to bend around her needs. I mean honestly, the expectation that you are working but can't take meetings to get your kid to school is outrageous.

Get child care, attend the meetings, or find another job.

Also every working couple with kids one spouse always makes it clear their job is more important and other spouse and just needy and annoying to their boss and coworkers

I recall this women with one kid who worked for me once like this all the time I bent over backwards for her.

One day she goes you don’t know what it is to have a kid. I responded i have a 2, 7 and 9 year old at home. She never asked me if I had kids in her first 9 months at work

Why would she ask if you have kids? I never ask that, it’s completely inappropriate of any gender.

Clearly if you had THREE kids and she had no clue, they were not a big part of your daily life and never impacted your work schedule.

This seems unfair. I have a few coworkers who have very distinct boundaries between personal and professional. They never speak about their kids at work and it doesn’t impact their schedule. They make it work.

Well the PP is a male complaining about his female colleague, and we know who is default parent 99% of the time, especially 15 years ago.

Anonymous wrote:It does suck but yes, 8am meetings are not uncommon. It’s a double whammy in that while you’re building a career and have young kids, the kids need you at the same time as the meeting. Once you make senior level, you can reschedule 8ams if they don’t work for you. Of course by then your kids don’t need you either so it becomes a moot point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is probably younger and expects the company or organization to bend around her needs. I mean honestly, the expectation that you are working but can't take meetings to get your kid to school is outrageous.

Get child care, attend the meetings, or find another job.

Also every working couple with kids one spouse always makes it clear their job is more important and other spouse and just needy and annoying to their boss and coworkers

I recall this women with one kid who worked for me once like this all the time I bent over backwards for her.

One day she goes you don’t know what it is to have a kid. I responded i have a 2, 7 and 9 year old at home. She never asked me if I had kids in her first 9 months at work

Why would she ask if you have kids? I never ask that, it’s completely inappropriate of any gender.

Clearly if you had THREE kids and she had no clue, they were not a big part of your daily life and never impacted your work schedule.

This seems unfair. I have a few coworkers who have very distinct boundaries between personal and professional. They never speak about their kids at work and it doesn’t impact their schedule. They make it work.

Well the PP is a male complaining about his female colleague, and we know who is default parent 99% of the time, especially 15 years ago.

It’s called sharing. A women has to go to a once a week or once a month 8 am meeting the husband should step up.

I work with a wonderful women who leaves 445pm everyday to pick up kid daycare.

Next week we have the only after work meeting team building event of the year. She declined. It is too much to ask her husband to pick up kids even one day out of year.

I don’t get it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is probably younger and expects the company or organization to bend around her needs. I mean honestly, the expectation that you are working but can't take meetings to get your kid to school is outrageous.

Get child care, attend the meetings, or find another job.

Also every working couple with kids one spouse always makes it clear their job is more important and other spouse and just needy and annoying to their boss and coworkers

I recall this women with one kid who worked for me once like this all the time I bent over backwards for her.

One day she goes you don’t know what it is to have a kid. I responded i have a 2, 7 and 9 year old at home. She never asked me if I had kids in her first 9 months at work

Why would she ask if you have kids? I never ask that, it’s completely inappropriate of any gender.

Clearly if you had THREE kids and she had no clue, they were not a big part of your daily life and never impacted your work schedule.

This seems unfair. I have a few coworkers who have very distinct boundaries between personal and professional. They never speak about their kids at work and it doesn’t impact their schedule. They make it work.

Well the PP is a male complaining about his female colleague, and we know who is default parent 99% of the time, especially 15 years ago.

It’s called sharing. A women has to go to a once a week or once a month 8 am meeting the husband should step up.

I work with a wonderful women who leaves 445pm everyday to pick up kid daycare.

Next week we have the only after work meeting team building event of the year. She declined. It is too much to ask her husband to pick up kids even one day out of year.

I don’t get it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is probably younger and expects the company or organization to bend around her needs. I mean honestly, the expectation that you are working but can't take meetings to get your kid to school is outrageous.

Get child care, attend the meetings, or find another job.

Also every working couple with kids one spouse always makes it clear their job is more important and other spouse and just needy and annoying to their boss and coworkers

I recall this women with one kid who worked for me once like this all the time I bent over backwards for her.

One day she goes you don’t know what it is to have a kid. I responded i have a 2, 7 and 9 year old at home. She never asked me if I had kids in her first 9 months at work

Why would she ask if you have kids? I never ask that, it’s completely inappropriate of any gender.

Clearly if you had THREE kids and she had no clue, they were not a big part of your daily life and never impacted your work schedule.

This seems unfair. I have a few coworkers who have very distinct boundaries between personal and professional. They never speak about their kids at work and it doesn’t impact their schedule. They make it work.

Well the PP is a male complaining about his female colleague, and we know who is default parent 99% of the time, especially 15 years ago.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is probably younger and expects the company or organization to bend around her needs. I mean honestly, the expectation that you are working but can't take meetings to get your kid to school is outrageous.

Get child care, attend the meetings, or find another job.

Also every working couple with kids one spouse always makes it clear their job is more important and other spouse and just needy and annoying to their boss and coworkers

I recall this women with one kid who worked for me once like this all the time I bent over backwards for her.

One day she goes you don’t know what it is to have a kid. I responded i have a 2, 7 and 9 year old at home. She never asked me if I had kids in her first 9 months at work

Why would she ask if you have kids? I never ask that, it’s completely inappropriate of any gender.

Clearly if you had THREE kids and she had no clue, they were not a big part of your daily life and never impacted your work schedule.

This seems unfair. I have a few coworkers who have very distinct boundaries between personal and professional. They never speak about their kids at work and it doesn’t impact their schedule. They make it work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is probably younger and expects the company or organization to bend around her needs. I mean honestly, the expectation that you are working but can't take meetings to get your kid to school is outrageous.

Get child care, attend the meetings, or find another job.

Also every working couple with kids one spouse always makes it clear their job is more important and other spouse and just needy and annoying to their boss and coworkers

I recall this women with one kid who worked for me once like this all the time I bent over backwards for her.

One day she goes you don’t know what it is to have a kid. I responded i have a 2, 7 and 9 year old at home. She never asked me if I had kids in her first 9 months at work

Why would she ask if you have kids? I never ask that, it’s completely inappropriate of any gender.

Clearly if you had THREE kids and she had no clue, they were not a big part of your daily life and never impacted your work schedule.

This seems unfair. I have a few coworkers who have very distinct boundaries between personal and professional. They never speak about their kids at work and it doesn’t impact their schedule. They make it work.